 All right, welcome to episode 19 of the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast We are coming at you live out of Brisbane, Australia and our addresses Cut that car maybe maybe Holy shit, we've had a crazy week and we got a big episode in store. We got Pauline flopper coming on We got a hell of a shit talk. We got a Matt vs. Michael We got Tinder adventures are back and we got a fucking prank call Filming Fab it bit more energy this week. So the prank call I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it right now It's gonna be a banger It's gonna be lit. So do you guys want to be honest and tell everyone how sick you are? Oh, man, we and there might not be a high energy We're different. No, I feel better than I did last week though. That's the truth But yeah, I've been sick for about two weeks, right? It felt like a cold then it progressed to a Fluish thing and then last Thursday I get home and I start shivering like I'm a fucking Like I'm penguin like a fucking kangaroo and Antarctica, man. Wow. That was cool Because I've never felt cold before yeah, that's so true No, and the desert it gets cold at night and um, sorry and let me tell you what mate It would spend like like I woke up in the middle of the night Shivering like freezing but also drenched in sweat and then you pull the blanket off because like, you know You got to go get changed and that moment is by far the worst It's like 3 a.m. The coldest it can possibly be it's winter right now in Australia and I know Fuck off do that. Yeah, fuck you for that It's freezing take the blanket off and then I literally I was shivering so hard I couldn't move I was Like I was being electrocuted cunt. Okay, so I've caught this from Marty and that's been going on the last I'll let you do me and Last night I spoke to Amber before she's like, do you remember what you were like? I had to transfer from beds because it like I'd pissed the bed times three. I was shivering so much I was like crying to her saying And she had to dry me put me on the bed and then sort of like warm me because I was so cold on that bed Really gone. It's so tired for you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what did you get? I don't I don't like to wake Mon because I don't like to be a bird when you have that sick shivering I've never shivered like that in my life. Yeah, I know it was never had this I knew I nearly sent you guys a video, but I couldn't I didn't want to pull my arm out of my blanket to get a phone Because my teeth were just gone. Oh That it's uncontrollable. It's just a sleep next to you Yeah, I don't bother waking her because then I don't want to be a burden and Make like shivering sounds or any movements. It's just like no she there could be I could be getting raped next to her And she wouldn't wake up. Wow. In fact, it's happened. Yeah, that's one. That's laughing. He was there Anyway, so we're a bit crook, but I'm feeling all right James a bit crook too. He's had a fucking half day and fucking Mark was now getting a bit crook But we're fucking parent on we're fucking parent friend Gummy fucking great episode can't wait to be strong. Oh wait to be healthy by the way It feels like I've been sick for three weeks now since I got married. I've been sick It's because that bender that one bender me and Mon went on has just destroyed my immune system And then because of that bender, I've just been eating shit not exercising And then it's just been getting worse and worse and here I am my teeth are fucking fallen out of my head The wedding bender. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I already I can't get warm or cold. I just go through these temperature changes constantly Anyway, let's talk about what we've been up to because I'll tell you something right now. It's been a lot. So we had our Charity golf day. I am Friday. We had a charity, which is the night before I got sick So I've been looking forward to this day for months, right, which is big charity golf day We go and play fucking 18 rounds of golf with like all these ex-footy players and like journalists and stuff And we knew a few of them feigs here and say if I ain't got like and it was just like I was really looking forward to having some drinks With them some day drinks with them and just walking around playing golf then that's that's the night I was in bed by 9 p.m. So tired and so fucked but I didn't get to sleep till like 3 a.m. So I was like boys I can't come in at 6 a.m. Or whenever it fucking started so I was like I'm just gonna sleep and then see how I feel when I wake up And then I woke up at like 9 and went in and you boys already been fucking gone It was a good day. We all had fun, but he almost cost us seven grand. Oh, yeah, look So at the end of the golf there we went inside for lunch and then they were holding this auction auctioning off all these things, right and Cam one of the guys we knew he was like running the auction and And they were selling like ten seats ten corporate box seats to like the Broncos fucking Game at the Gabber or something. That's what it was. Yes. I'm like goes that is Fuck dude as if that wouldn't be suit. I know you hate football, but that would be so fun Imagine piss in a big stadium with all the boys It would be a promise you that it would be fun, but not fun enough for seven grand. Yeah Yeah, yeah So the guy read out $5,000 as the Opening bid as you know, it was like a couple in but he said five thousand and then you went and he went next next bid Well, we do we have a seven thousand and he turns around also goes Seven hundred ain't too bad. And I was like, oh, I think he meant seven. Yeah, I heard seven He was like five hundred and then I was like, oh that's quite shit because I was like Oh, this is just gonna keep going or I thought fuck I could get us that pick up a bargain You can't because seven hundred for ten ten of the blokes. It's seventy dollars for free piss and food for a night It's a seven hundred. I'd be okay with so I was like, oh, I was like fuck. I'll stick me arm up for the fucking seven hundred And then I stick me arm. I'm fucking came guys And everyone's roaring I looked at Michael and I was like, oh fuck. I thought he meant seven hundred be I'm not gonna stand up guy Fuck the kids because it's the kids cancer And then where is those like a few moments of like oh fuck what have I done? What have I done and then thank fuck another table I was like Seven thousand five hundred and then they won so it's only what I was second bit off winning So you fully yet Michael didn't realize that Just at the beginning. I had to just clarify to make sure I had heard seven and a half I was like, did you just bet seven grand? Yeah? He was very upset because like the thing cost us a shitload anyway because we Yeah, we're fucking heroes. We're really giving up fucking heaps of money for fucking this child. Okay somebody I Seven came all we just right now with with uh, you know, what's it called that word inflation? With all that going on mate and it's not very good tax coming around to this tax You wouldn't know about that matt but then anyway, we had a fucking busy weekend michael and I after the Golf day we had to get up early go to the Gold Coast for the Tim zoo and Ocampo the Wayans, right? We had to get some promo for that because we're doing a bit of a brand deal with k.o We're trying to like develop a relationship with k.o Because we want to start getting work at some of these big sporting events because it's it's fits our demographic You can't fucking love sport. You're all in the right age for it, right and we fucking love watching that shit So we thought let's do some fucking work with k you're fucking cunt So we went there got some promo and then the next day we they gave us tickets to the fight really nice tickets Like we're like your seats look really not really good. Yeah, we're four rows from the fucking ring And met the k.o team there and watched tim zoo beat the shit out of ocampo and Yeah, it was a fucking fun day, man Michael you were saying to me that it was almost a record for the amount of people that were like Coming up and wanting photos. Oh, yeah, that's crazy. You've never seen that many people want to get a photo Yeah, it was the most ever I think because it's the same demographic and it's just just fits I think in the gold coast seems like a lot of people know us. Yeah, and um Yeah, when we got there on the way in we were just like, yeah, it was a we were bombarded Who were the boys you were sitting next to? It was fucking sick um Sitting next to one of the k.o guys and then the other side was taylor and um, Aaron just the taylor's a guy got us who hooked us up with the k.o boys. So thank you taylor um And also we've had a we've had a missing man in our area. Oh my god I'm pretty sure so we've got a missing guy in our area So we had police shop at the play at the house at like friday Well, it all started when mr. Brown was at wholesome and some old bloke came over and said that his grandson was missing Amongst many other things that he told us crazy interesting And uh said that his son was just perfectly normal 20 year old He's ran out of fuel at 2 a.m on his motorbike and just went walking never seen again He had a needle in his arm and and there is a fucking house across the road that's abandoned And uh, apparently it's the last place he was seen So the fucking the police storm that happened the next day was fucking insane They came that night didn't they brown came that night and I did a little walk around with him In our yard were they hot? Yeah, they're actually pretty nice. Do you flow? I'd marry one And uh, and then the next morning we're at the golf the charity golf game and they call me the next day Yeah, and then then yeah, all they were all over our house. So yeah, and doing that even like like hey See in the movies you see in the movies when there's like a line of Searchers and then they're very slowly all walk together in one line. That's what they were doing in the neighbor's house in our house Or everywhere and so we are ncis number three and when the cop called he was a bit confused because we got a lot of Weird shit line around there's like babies hanging everywhere. There's a lot of weird stuff We like a bashed up current shit. So he's like, what do you guys do? And then I have to say, oh, you know, we're making media videos and then he sort of relaxed a bit But I could tell for a second that maybe they thought that we were Suspects When I took the uh, the two places where it's like pitch black dark We're walking around and we've got a little science lab on the side of the house that's Filled with they search it. They went in there. It was like real fucked up shit in there There's like jars of shim and urine and all kinds. It smells Horrible. Anyway, I said to the cop. I'll probably don't go in there. It doesn't smell very good And I think I think he's like immediate reaction was like that's fucking suspicious And when yeah when stuck his head in there and he's like, oh, it smells like shit He's already said yeah, and he took a look in with the light. I said, yeah, it's just shit I think I said, there's just shit and urine in there. Don't And I just I just immediately walked in the other direction just to avoid like what the reaction was to that Wow, was he surprised I didn't investigate as further to be honest If I was a detective and that some cunts had a room full of like rotting food Well, it could be why they came back the second morning. It's a junkified looking place Yeah, and like look at Matt too. He's a fucking sketchy looking dog cunts There's also a moment where we went past like a little part that goes under the house and he stopped and paused for a second Like he wanted to go under and have a look at the house and then he didn't Maybe he's under there. I I thought that I thought maybe he's under there and in other news There is other news There is other news Oh So went out and um, I went is this your weekend shit? No, it's not my it wasn't my whole weekend Well, you just went through my whole weekend But I did go out and um, and I was at the shops and there's like this Store at Termside I had just some cool stuff and I found these cool like holographic stickers and I found this Pikachu one And it's so cool. Look at that because a little holographic one. So yeah, and I've gotten up getting a little holographic Pikachu thingy to go quickly Were you bashed at school and there my new sticker my little did you ever get bullied a little bit Okay, good. Did you were you into pokemon? You would have been quite old when that was that was a thing. I see a six when first pokemon So it was 96 when the first when the first one came out, but like towards the end you would have been like high school Well, I didn't fall on high. So I don't I don't believe you because that Pikachu The original Pikachu. It doesn't look like that. You'd skip handball in the morning to stay home and watch cheese tv Oh, I love cheese tv Dragon Ball Z was very cute Also very old to be liking that You can never be too old for Dragon Ball Z Anyway, do you like my new sticker or not? Like it's like It's not that's not going to help you with anything that's going on in your life. That's that's why you haven't That's the tinder shit's not working because of that. Well, and to be honest like that's probably Hurting you in all areas of life. I believe yeah Like I reckon if you showed if we spoke to greg your dad about that he would fucking hate you more He let me his golf clubs. Yeah, yeah, Matt played pretty well on Friday I did not Michael turned around said he doesn't want to play golf anymore. I fucking played very bad. We all played terribly Yeah, yeah, it's too much like fun with like everyone. Yeah, it's too much distraction and too much beers Yeah, I think you can if you're gonna drink it's just gonna be a fun day. So you can't concentrate Yeah, the golf I knew just it was more just socializing with the boys I could tell that you and James are we getting a little just a little bit annoyed because you won't Doing well. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. It always hurts to soul playing bad golf. It's just yeah destroys you I've never played good golf. So I don't know what that means. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't ever think about that or do that It's just how you are forever my friend But that's because of that shit. It's because of fucking holographic Pikachu's You put too much time to that and not enough in just common catching and motor skills You didn't do anything. You just fucking traded cards and had digimon battles at schools Pokemon fucking suck me off. You don't dare put me in the digimon I can see you connecting. You had a tamagotchi when you were little. Yeah, I did. Fuck you. Let's move on. Okay, that's that's Matt and anime. Let's move on to the sponsors. Yes, it is Matt. That's an anime picture on your lap. Fuck you, man You need to relax. So Let's let's a word from our sponsors Hello, it's Marty here, uh from Manscaped Um and I realized the people I'm talking to uh aren't doing too well Um, there's people that are listening that um despite previous warnings They continue to follow down the same route They continue to make uh excuses in their minds saying I'll start next week Oh, I've got this event on this week. So I'll start then and um, I don't need to worry about my appearance It's all superficial things of that nature have been brought to our attention and um It's just want to let you know that that's that's all fucking bullshit And that if you continue to head down this trajectory, I'm not kidding. You'll die so unhappy You'll die alone unhappy and unfulfilled and all of your potential will be gone and I promise you I swear it on your mother's fucking heart That you will regret it. You will regret Everything you fucking did every monday you woke up and shrugged and said Fuck it. I'll do it later You'll do it until you've been diagnosed and then the regret will eat you Until the cancer does That's what you're headed for cunt Now go to manscaped.com step number one See what grooming products they have they make it violently efficient To help you it takes me five minutes to clip in the air and I'm east I'm from the east So it shouldn't take you long at all Right go and have a look and here a present from us to you For the actual 20 there's 20 off for your fucking troubles. At least have a look You disgusting cunt worthless pricks You're fucking lying around Wallowing in self pity. Just shut up Turn your mind off and do something good for once Liar You're a liar Also for women Hairy women big black back hair women get that shit shaved off because blogs Don't like it Man that made me cry dude manscaped.com slash fully actual 20 get amongst it and fuck off You know you deserve better and it starts with a trimmer They got heaps of things trim is just the beginning They got balls your ball Anyway All right now I gotta I gotta an email from our AG1 team this morning And guess what they fucking said Yeah, they have said to us If we don't smarten up and add all of these things that they are cutting funding to us No way. Yes. What do you have to add in? I lied They said this I loved her. They love us. They did not know they did I lied again. What they said was They don't want to be known as athletic greens anymore Because they have developed their formula So much so apparently it's been adjusted and and I could be wrong And but I saw this in the email like 54 times They've updated and upgraded the formula the AG1 formula Would to keep up with all the latest health trends and all the latest studies Now that is fucking insane dedication and you won't even fucking know they'll upgrade the formula and and you get the newest Healthiest product around still tastes great. They want they don't want to be called athletic greens They want to be called AG1 because athletic greens they used to just market to athletes to professional Paid athletes who need to go you have the one percenters in order to get healthier and healthier And that's who was buying their product Now anyone can buy it. So now it's just AG1 AG1 that's what it's called AG1 has 75 essential vitamins and neutrals Neutrals in it, right that make you fucking healthy as shit That's so bio available you pour the powder in or glass with a bit of water in your skull and and that's your shit Done for the fucking day. You can get back to your wife Maybe not maybe you won't need to after an AG1 you'll feel better But also it's like also step one in just fixing yourself Um smash this little shake and you feel better and and the fun no, it's it's not it's it's for everyone now Okay, they want everyone to get the health benefits that professional athletes were going to it's a monthly subscription It rocks up on your front door. You have won a day and then you have to eat less veggies and all this fucking It's cumin and turmeric and coriander shit You don't have to eat that shit because it's always fucking powerful And you're fucking eat your steak and you're fucking fast food and you live a bit longer Tastes great. It tastes really good fully actual 20. The link is in the description Fully actual 20, right? You get a free travel pack So you can go fucking cheat on your misses and Perth and the one in breezy don't know nothing You come back twice as healthy. You can't gets rid of STIs. I'm pretty sure The media I had one today Yeah, I know I saw him and you must say he looks better. Yeah, it's happier a full ahead of hair. Yeah Yeah, it's very it's beautiful It's a shame about the Pikachu anyway swallowed my feeling Yeah, Matt. Oh, I get Marty's going through some of his feelings of falling Can I just I don't want to like throw our mates under the bus but Oh, my teeth whitened before my wedding and my teeth have started falling out I'm pretty sure it's feelings. It's like they've Anyway, no, I'm not gonna collect them. It could be a coincidence. That's not Yeah, we won't get into it. It's not proven Um, so there was a UFO Recently, did I watch Vegas? Yeah, you guys seeing that? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking oath, man I'm usually like skeptical a lot of these but this one looked like it was something definitely Well, what mate, you don't know if you're waiting or not. You wait. All right. There is gonna be It's all coming out. It's not it's not this isn't Like it's not a fucking guess anymore. Okay, it's proven that there are aliens. It's not Like like so, what do you know it? You don't even need proof Just know that they're fucking real and that's mind-blowing. That's fucking unbelievable The US government has admitted it every government has admitted it There's just it's endless endless evidence out there with you to believe it or not It's not a matter of belief anymore It's just going to become a normal fucking thing that they talk about you fucking wait And one next question unless it's holograms that question. Oh I was just we're just because raka raka posted that thing. I just got me going a bit Oh, they added a little ufo on this story today. Very very cute. That's more and more frequent, man It's more and more frequent go see that horror movie. Oh, I can't wait. Sorry frequent Can we go together? Yeah Thank you I'll enjoy that feeling come down. Oh more Anyway, um, that's shit talk. Hey, that's sponsors done too. That's a for client. Oh, no wait Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about the university of marco bro? Like the subscription website, bro It's fucking hectic as shit 270 videos on it We've got a brand new website where you can like and comment you can search the other videos It's fucking hectic as shit If you're a current member and you know not on the new website So yeah, just email support at university of marco.com and I'll send you the link and your fresh password and fucking off you go And if you don't fucking fucking get the fucking get in the fucking road Can't because there's fucking shit on there that ain't no one ever been seen done before and we've just We've got three new content creators lined up ready to make content for you We can't wait to confirm it and fucking make that massive announcement con I've watched one today. Matt watched a movie. He's gonna review it at the end And that's just the beginning If there was ever a time brown. Oh, I'm itchy All right, let's move on And we're back Look out And look who we have here We have a cheeky little poorly at the end And we got his big old uncle flop sitting next to him Welcome to the podcast boys. How the fuck are you? We are bad Not too bad What are you dressed as today flop? Oh The ring master so uh, don't bend over So you're saying that you're out of the two of you. You are the ring master I'm the ring master Would you agree with that poorly? Obviously, I'll he'd have this on Yeah, well, it looks like it at this point, doesn't it? I can't open down. Jesus So it's been a little while since we had John Paulie So um, so what's been going on since we've noticed you've It's been a lot more content with you two coming back, which has been bloody lovely to see So you guys um, you guys living together again now so You want to allow it while you go All right, so I do have my own place Yeah, all right. Okay, but uh I like to go down and uh, just harass this guy. So he's living nearby. I actually moved in So I've got I had a shit load of shit Yeah at my old house when I moved up from Victoria and I put it all in storage And I moved into this apartment and there's no room for it. So when he's got this house I got a truck to deliver all the shit to his house and made my own room because it was a spare room But I could not fucking live there with him And I couldn't have him live there. Oh, yeah, okay I'll cop enough shit as it is Is it and because you've obviously known each other your whole lives has has was he always Doing this shit before he had a phone film in it Or was it just sort of when when he started making social media? No, he's been a cheeky ass all his life So how old so like at what age was he were we were you like oh this this little cunt's a fucking little cunt for probably 9 10 He started doing it started being a little ass. Yeah, and what did you did you did you ever feel like hitting him? Many a time I'm back hand, but yeah, you can't can't do that Clip under the hip. Yeah. Yeah a little clip under the ear I think an open palm hit to the ass is okay. Yeah, I don't like the ass, so He did just say you're the ringmaster ringmaster, but you've taken that the wrong way I do recall this one time he was asleep on the couch He used to sleep on the couch all the time I had one of my mates and He was asleep It's like fully passed out and he snores like a fucking true place like a chainsaw just ripping trees down Fucking come off his face about this far and just farted And he's just fucking lost it. I don't know if you recall he doesn't remember yesterday, but As I said before he's been out for a long time a long time. Yeah Now we were talking before we jumped on it. So you've you've also started getting recognized flopper So people stopped me on the street and like oh you're that guy And all his vids. Yeah, you're that sucker. Yeah Do you like it or is it fucking annoying? Yeah, no, that's all good. It's good to know people are having a laugh So, you know some goods coming out of it. I suppose yeah, that's people happy. Yeah Come on keeps me happy, but Have you ever like gotten like really really angry and struck him or actually hurt him in any way? Nah, is there has he ever done anything so fucked that you're like, no, you're not fucking posting this Like um, I have stopped a couple of things. Yeah. Yeah, there's been a couple things that nobody will ever see Oh, can we hear one? I don't know only fans and release it Paulie Actually, just film him in the shower whenever you can and just post the time Floppers shower tails. Yeah, we're not here to give him ideas There is a source that source spot there. Yeah. Yeah, we're not going there I want to know so hard So pumping out heaps of your own shit now paulie so on where are you posting it mostly just facebook mainly facebook You go to youtube. Yeah, I I did mess around with youtube, but they just keep taking it down or And it just I don't know it just becomes a disaster and I feel like we're just going nowhere with it, but I think I need to clean it up a little bit more and maybe beep out a few things and I think it's just way too full on for YouTube what so they're like deleting them off youtube. I don't delete and they just demonetize. They just demonetize them Yeah, or yeah, and then it just doesn't go anywhere But the worst thing is too like you get these other pages, which are, you know, they they're very Close to my following because they've just stolen all the content. Yeah. Oh, and they're monetizing it They're monetizing it. Sometimes I feel like it's just fucking it's honestly luck of the draw like some like because yeah, we post a video and it's like Some of that tame shit and then you see, you know, so many other creators doing something way worse with millions of views Like like houston jones. Everyone always compares us to houston jones This american guy who also does like science experiments where he just fully just fucking like He's like bloodied and bruised and fucked by the end and we talked to him and he's like He's only I've had one video removed and like barely get some demonetized because he frames him as as education Or like he'll have a Thing a screen that comes up. This is for educational purposes. It's like it's not fucking Education is just getting hit with shit, which is what we kind of do. Yeah We say it's for educate. We say ours is for science And they fucking still ringworm us Yeah So youtube's been like, yeah, such a grind and even tiktok now like we fucking We can't post any like if I fucking You know pinch michael's they'll they'll delete it just pinch him like that and they'll fucking delete it like it's just How did that go? Like hey like no just let me show him. Oh, dude. I just let me show him. No, I can't take a head today I'm getting a heat wave after heat wave Michael's sick. So I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be honest I'm pretty sure I have that C thing that everyone complains about spicy flu and I'm and I'd still I welcome you Hoping to spread it Oh, hey, it's good for immunity Yeah, absolutely and chlamydia So you didn't mention that great, so what's like the um The long-term plan with it like obviously now you just fucking having a laugh enjoying it Like what do you what do you want to you're just gonna be a content creator now full time? Yeah, so basically that's um, that's all I'm doing at the moment And just dragging uh him along with me until he falls off the perch. I suppose just try and I don't know Just squeeze as much out of him till the sleep until the sleep and bear finally cracks Yeah till you go on a murdering rampage He fucking did kill paulie Wake up to the news next week and it's like paulie has been killed and floppers just eyes His pupils are fully dilated. No whites in his eyes and he's just fully fucking lost it and then raped him And there's footage of it on the news I could see that happen Well, you just don't know do you? Don't rule it out It's good to have that threat lingering in the background. I don't know anything about mental health I can't tell you whether I'm stable or not Is your honor Oh, well, we'll see what happens in the future. I guess Yeah, exactly Do you still have you still have a normal job plopper? No, I I am a painter. I haven't painted for a bit. I had surgery on the right arm and was that paulie's fault No, actually for a change. No So, yeah, they stuffed it up. I've got to go and save surgery again on it Well, they had they fuck it up. They leave a knife in there or something I was supposed to shift the nerve and decided that uh, they try and do it without shifting it and now it's like Still there. Yeah It's from erratic Yeah, I've heard that Matt might starting in the beginning stages of that. Oh, you are Welcome Oh, wow. So they She'll be all good once they do it properly and then you reckon you'll hit back up painting not painting because My shoulders are gone as well. Maybe you do just like art like just painting like canvases and shit You can do I'll do something that kind of painting. Yeah, I'll do something Hey How was um, how was barley we saw you went to barley with the boys show the boys. Yeah, barley was really good actually How long were you there for like three weeks or something? Yeah, we were there for three weeks Yeah, it was pretty full on it was good. A lot of drinking. Yeah, what drinking every day Most days most days. I yeah, we had I had a fair old crack. Anyway, um, a few of them went interested but Uh, I was certainly interested. I I took advantage of it. I just remember that one story I forget who posted it of you coming out all fucked up with a beer in your hand. Oh, I'm never drinking again Dude, I'll still I reckon this is one of the best videos I've ever seen is when you had a coffee in your hand and it was like 7 a.m In the morning you're facing all these massive waves at the beach Oh, yeah, I think you're just strolling out to it sipping on your coffee and then this wave just levels you And you just took it without any embrace. You just went bang hit the deck and then you just sort of rocked up to the shores Yeah, that was commitment that was in cops harbour the shories and that you could tell these waves are fucking heavy Oh, man, and I was just like fuck this. I'm just going to stroll straight out into it into this fucking Oncoming semi-truck. It took me out fucking big time Just smack me out that night these motherfuckers Had some force behind them. I think Austin was just pissing himself. Well, he was losing it He could contain himself any um any wild stories from barley or is it? Or nothing you can tell? um Oh Did anyone to fuck a lady boy No There was I was actually a little bit disappointed because Why fucking love looking at lady boys. They just freaked me out. Like they're just like, I don't know what it is But I like I like to look at them. But just gives me the They just freaked me the fuck out But there wasn't many there was we had to go to a lady club joint But I will I will say that like There was this one lady boy and like I was standing behind her on camera Like grabbing her tits and shit And then the other one she had the hots for me. I don't know if you've seen on my story I saw her in a story picture with her. Yeah, JJ put it up. Hey Oh, come on Anyway I'm I'm hugging it. I'm hugging her grabbing her tits and shit and this this His tits. Oh fucking hell And this and this and this other chick with a cock As has got my like grabbing my cock from underneath like I'm just like what the fuck is going on? Anyway, after I fucked him He might be pregnant. Oh great. He'll be rich if he is Certainly not for me better going to be made there Yeah Well, there you go. So that was any like like did it was any fights you said you got your wallet stolen got my wallet stolen So I'm not too sure how that happened. Yeah, okay. They just pick pocket. Yeah real quick. Yeah Oh, yeah, I've every time I've gone to Thailand or Bali I get robbed every single time. I'm like Yeah, next time I go, I'm just gonna have like I'm just gonna get one of those fucking Gay little bum bags and just fucking carry nothing but the bare minimum with me and just bring a shit phone Yeah, because fuck me. Well when I when I went out I'd take like the set amount of money that I was willing to spend and just have it in my pocket I wouldn't have any like wallet or cards 100 and then you just if you lose your cash Then you get like because then I stress like like I want my phone in case something fucking cool happens to film Oh, actually, I'd have my phone But you had the mistake of having it out on like a like a moped. I'd always have it in your pocket Yeah, but like I'm looking at the gps. I need to know where I'm going. I just let that little let the little man take care of it How I didn't lose my phone is just beyond me. I'll give it to jaden gilfellon He he was fucking my dad For the holidays. I so that you could tell me we were at fins And um, I was walking along the side of the pool and he reckons I fell in so he got me back out Then I will walk along and then he has a fell back in He said that he watched me like drop in the water and he's like fuck. He'll get up Anyway, he's watched me like take my last few breaths and just see to the bottom of the pool and he's like Yeah Values Well, yeah They you just can't operate when you mix it with the alcohol He fell in a drain and almost split like lost his two front teeth You know in but in bali they I don't know if you saw like on the sides of the road They'll just have huge holes on the sides of the road And we will like we'd add A bunch of valves and heaps of drinks and we're heading out And like we'll literally swank from one side of the road to the other and then couldn't balance It was so fucked. I just fucking fell down this hole and hit my Face on the other edge of the hole just above my teeth literally a centimeter above my teeth So I was like a centimeter away from losing my front teeth. That's what happened to you. I always wondered That's what it was. Yeah Yeah, no, I was in the 7-Eleven came out with beers and I just hear this Michael Michael help and I'm like I couldn't see him and then I would go to this hole and he's just like I fucked up man something's up with my mouth and I pull him out and oh he looked like shit It's a crazy time over there. I do remember this other morning I wake up and I'm just like fuck I remember going to Mexico and like it's crazy Like if you haven't been there before Everyone rides a scooter out everyone rides a scooter out every green light to start of a new race It's fucking can't go anywhere. It's fucking off its head. Anyway, so I've rolled into Mexico. I parked the scooter up I had a crazy night Wake up in the morning and I've got my I'm like fuck how the fuck did I even get home and I've got my scooter key in my pocket I opened my phone. There's a message from like this Balinese dude that I met that night And I just vaguely remember like he was a cool cat and he's got this video of me like He's taken me out for dinner that night like with a few of his mates and like I'm just like munging into this Feed and he's like if you if I'm not too sure if you remember, but his scooters parked at Mexicola And I'm like, uh, sorry not at Mexicola at red carpet Anyway, so I've googled um red carpet and it's like fucking ages away. I'm like How the fuck did I even get this bike here? Like anyway, we rolled in to pick up the bike Had a massive argument with the guy behind the fucking boom gate But we have got no money on us. We're trying to get this fucking bike out We ended up going to get some money out and fucking but yeah, how I even got the bike there Do you reckon it was seized because maybe you like left it at some way you shouldn't have and it's just been taken there Maybe I don't know because it sounds like if you got to pay to get it out like you've left it in the wrong place at the Wrong time. It's in the middle of the road or something. Yeah, you've definitely got to pay to get it in there. But anyway, okay, wow Well, yeah, yeah, man, that's the thing volumes and alcohol blackout central It's really and it really sneaks up on you. It's a kind of like mix that you think you're fine and then wake up in the morning Well, we're not even that just even just during it. You just like what happened an hour ago What I'm now just so fucked but you don't realize you're that fucked. It's a very strange mix Yeah, it's a highly highly recommended, but it is fun. It's fucking fun in a safe environment Probably not a good idea to go drink driving on it. I don't know if it's safe or fun No, no, well, I reckon if you say if you maybe don't be around a pool either Because you might sink to the bottom But um, like if you're in a safe like If like environment like a house where you staying at the house and all the boys just have a few vows and alcohol Then yeah, as long as you're not going out. No, I disagree. Do you remember that time? We took like five each at once And then we was just you and me in a house and then like Oh, yeah, two hours went by of complete. I don't know what we did or what happened And I just came to standing upstairs. I was upstairs now looking at myself in the mirror And that's when I when I realized I was like, what the fuck and I came downstairs Michael's passed out downstairs and I looked at my phone and I'd remember I'd sent all these fucking weird messages to people I It's not safe Yeah, and actually it's probably not a great idea vows you stick to by themselves and alcohol stick to it by itself But hey, like if you can have maybe one or two Yeah, maybe just one or two just to relax the muscles I'm absolutely crazy Yeah, absolutely crazy Yeah, five at once and then like a few shots to this wash it down with and yeah I just woke up. I was on like the floorboards just face up Marty wakes me up. Like what happened? He's like, dude, I've just teed up like some boxing matches with some other influences I was like And I'm like like messaging people like Like Like we never I never care about that or never. This is like even before boxing was a thing YouTube boxing was a thing. Yeah, very weird. I can't even keep my eyes open let alone send a fucking text message Or line fucking you lined up a fight. It must have been all the bag bad We had before the vows that kept me awake. Oh, dude, and then yeah I remember when we were in bar the same place And I'd pop so many that I started passing out and you started calling me you're being silly Yeah, that's right And he's just pouring all this water on me and I'm just waking up Please stop stop stop and then I wake up like the next day And there's all this footage of him just pouring bottle after bottle on my face Yeah, that's how I can get you to that state without getting you to drink actually. I might start spiking you with valium again. Thanks, mate So what's it like flopping what did you think when paulie first started fucking making these vids Were you like, what are you doing? You're fucking can't go get a fucking real job. You're fucking can't Yeah, no, I was I was all thinking um This better stop Well, you're like, what about how am I like what have I done to this kid? I need to take this guy Kid to a doctor to get him disciplined Yeah Something wrong with him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so you were fully like You couldn't understand it. You were like, you know, try to talk him out of it or that. Well, you just It's like your bright brain out trying to work out how he thinks it's funnier first You know, you just don't see the funny side of these things Um, but obviously people do Yeah How it really all come about Um, originally that we that I started filming at was that um I had this crazy truck driver kevin. Well, I would film him at work just blowing up all the time anyway, he um, he had an accident He's all right by the way But uh, he was fucking funny like he blow up I'd gone like hide in his truck away went and grabbed his ticket from the waybridge or You know, I'd do something with with his truck with the loader and he'd just fucking blow up. Anyway, so he was He was like my main like who I posted on tiktok And um, yeah, so there was no more of him And I thought fucking hell I need to start a rush and some other can't and that other can't It was him and I was like, you know, I can't you're my fucking next victim Have you boys had some like loose? Loose like since posting vids and having nights out Is there been some loose parties together or loose opportunities of just mayhem that's come about for him Not for me. I'm a little bit beyond that. Okay, so you're not much of a Valium and drinker No, I will have a drink We've dragged him out a few times. I've been out a couple of times But it's not a regular thing for me. Remember that remember that um guy that was trying to get you to kiss his mrs Oh, oh shit Did you So I tell the story what actually ended up happening you fuck up. I'm an idiot. Here's this guy. She is an absolute doll And not a fuck doll either by the way Next thing you know, he's wrapped around up And someone else is passionate And I'm standing there. I'm thinking Jesus Christ. I'm one of the two I wouldn't mind a girl But the thing is her boyfriend looks at me and goes You want to give me a girlfriend a kiss? and Normal me would just dive straight in But I was in shock. I'm just like It just fucked me Unexpected things where I fucking froze too long and it was too late when I thought hey, hang on. What are you doing? So you didn't kiss her? No, so you don't have a missile? No, not one. No What about old Jan across the road? Yeah, yeah, old Jan. She's all right Jan if you're listening next time you see Paulie go up to him and kiss him because he's wanting it bad Proposed to him That's okay Oh, wow So what was um, what was Paulie like at school? Like was he a fucking little menace as well? Little shit getting in trouble all the time. Yep. What was it? What was the worst thing he did at school that people don't know about? Oh look Whether he just didn't tell me and the teachers didn't tell me because it was that bad Um, the only thing I remember was that he uh, belted someone that um As I told the teacher when they called me in I told him to It's my fault There was someone having a you know a little bit of a dig picking on him and uh, I told him I gave him the knife I gave him to go in You're better off and then he didn't believe him again You're better off being in trouble for belting someone Then come and home crying because you're being picked on Yeah, that's true. Yeah, there's some advice every kid out there. He belted him. That was the end of it. Yeah Attack anyone who disrespects you I heard them now name them So the old eye for an eye, you know people don't believe in it, but I do And look so so just society and everybody on the planet because why do we have jails? Yeah, you do something wrong you get punished. Yeah. Wow. What's the difference? Yeah No, yeah, I know I agree I because as when Esther comes home and says, you know, this boy slapped me on the butt My eight-year-old step daughter. I tell her to like fuck telling the teacher to stand up for a second Yeah, that's it punch him punch him as hard as she can. You got to do what works. Yeah, exactly Have you told the boys how you got your nickname? Yeah, that's right How the fuck did you get called flopper from phil phil's your real name, isn't it? We say that you want us to say you feel is that allowed? Well, is it actually your real name? It's a long philip philip Philip or phil it's a long story. Oh Many moons ago, I think what is insinuating is I like to leave it to people's imagination. Okay. Oh fuck that. Let's have a look Ah Let's all get their dicks out and have a look. Do you want to feel insignificant for the rest of your life? I'm all right. I'm all right with having just an average size penis, but like I'll I'll happily look at a massive cock What's your thing that you do? Oh Well, there you go, we once knew a guy Who's like wow? Yeah, he's fucking tiny guy like real short imagine God with all your stats put Nothing into his personality or intelligence or anything looks like just build social skills Just a fucking like just Feel the length of and thickness of his dick up to full But as much as the it's like a it's a curse. I'm not even kidding. Like he's like honestly like Like maybe that big like it's just just a really small Skinny guy right strange and and very very weird guy always wore like suits and shit. And anyway, he had Like because Michael and I briefly when we were super poor living in a little share house He would live there sometimes with us and he'd come downstairs We're in boxer shorts and the tip of his dick would be sticking out Out of the boxer shorts. I'm like dude. Go put some fucking pants on I can see your dick And I got to a stage It was just so shocking because you wouldn't expect to looking at him that whenever we had friends over and shit Or in any social again social occasion We'd peer pressure me because I just wanted people to see it was just shocking It was like fucking this long. He couldn't get hard Like it was too big to get hard because there's not enough weight. There's not enough blood in his body He would have fucking fainted to try and get it hard. We tried we gave him viagra all his shit He would only ever get like so imagine that being cursed with such a massive dick, but it's always floppy I get dizzy when I bar up He can relate Well, yeah, like we'd always have to pressure him like it'd take like a few times But then like fine, and then he'd get it out and everyone would just be shocked And remember when we did the slow-mo camera on him doing the windmill? Oh, that's right. That thing is just it was shocking I'd hate to have too big of a dick. Yeah, same here some women run. They're scared of it when you look at porn too like Personally me I want to see the whole penis go all the way inside the vagina not just like a tiny tear I just skip pass out. I couldn't imagine how I shouldn't feel for him. Yeah I don't know why porn stars always Why why they what's Like to have such a big dick in porn because it's not relatable. So you're average guy. He didn't get his partner They wouldn't have sex together. Yeah. Well, his partner was like a sexual or some weird shit like that There you go guys You don't like sex you're weird. No, but she was like Like there was some word for it. There was some word for it But there was something there was a lot of things strange about that whole dynamic Yeah, very entertaining and very uh, a great little side freak that we'd show off to anyone. Yeah. Yeah, very good. But um Anyway, um, we've got a secret little, um liquid here. Um, now flop has no idea what this is So so we're gonna We're gonna give you you've got three guesses, right? If you can guess it, right we'll give you You can keep that outfit. Oh wow. She don't Now you get two verbal guesses then after the two verbal guesses you can have a smell which will help Which will help you determine what it is. Okay. All right. So I'm currently I'm currently holding you all Everyone listening you all know what liquid I'm holding here, right? We're holding the liquid liquid that sits On the set for those listening on Spotify. All right, so So as you can see it's a kind of like a whitey color Is it one ingredient? It is one ingredient All right. All right. So what's your first guess? Pineapple juice No, you're wrong. All right. You're one more guess and then you can have one smell Look at the bottom Settlement Yeah, there's a bit of that at the bottom And it's been here for about six months Fuck ginger It's getting closer. That's a little bit closer. All right. Now open it up and have a sniff Go on. You're right. And then you can give us your final guess Fuck me Fuck That's definitely piss human fucking piss It's not piss, it's cow piss The man standing behind you Has been coming in that bottle for over six months. Actually, it's been longer Mincing It does it smells like Corks with a bit of fart. It's like a fart mixed with a dead body It does smell like fun when it gets fucked it does the first three months are fine. Oh man, and then it's like they all die So that is a that is a bottle of ejaculate Oh You've smelt load I told you before we came here that these guys are fucking crazy. They're all guessing ginger You have lemon, ginger and piss And I can see sort of all that combined in some way I get it to be fair it does look like like ginger juice or something but no, yeah That is straight from It's because his last name's brown Oh Fuck man. That was very good. All right. That was a pleasure I can it's it's like it's still under me now Yeah, it fucks the room up for a while stuck to me nose here Told him to have a sweet Oh fuck very good All right, so fucking hell. All right, boy. So you you're pumping out your own shit now facebook instagram tiktok What are you on now on tiktok? You're fucking flying on there to a I think it's around 300 and something. I haven't really I haven't really put too much work into it because every time I post a video they just take it down Okay, same problem for you on On facebook we're floating around Close to 400 000. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, that's that's um coming up good It was only like this time or less than a year ago that you're at 100k. Yeah, so it's going exponential And your views are huge. Yeah, the views are going really good. Yeah, fucking I thought really good So I'm pretty happy with that Um, and then yeah youtube. I don't know. I just we we started vlogging We started doing a little bit of vlogging, which was fun and funny um, and Yeah, I just a lot of footage to go through a lot of footage to go through and I need some Need some help need some help Need some help with like if you get into youtube shorts to people have been growing their channels to fucking like couple 100k Just from posting their shorts and your shitty do all right really? I don't we've done that now because we fully like plateaued Because they're shitty just get you know demonetized so it doesn't get shown to anyone And then we started doing shorts at the start of this year and we've grown like 40 50k again sick Right. Yeah, I'm like looking for that But yeah, um, well, thanks heaps for coming on boys. Thanks for having me Very very funny content guys. Make sure you're looking. I'm looking up on facebook and instagram And youtube eventually and of course tiktok. They're pumping out a shitload of content and it's way better than ours So unfollow us and stop watching what we do and go and watch what they do that is not even a fucking joke Yeah, no we support that All right boys. Thanks. He's coming on. Do we get a gift? Oh, hang on. Yeah Fucking give for it Bakes well I hope you got a sweet tooth. I do. I'll fucking have a massive sweet tooth before I think because you guys want to film our reaction. Should we get james in? Yeah, that'd be great. Oh, yeah, yeah, true. Yeah James All right, let's fucking see what it is. So it's edible something edible. Well, it's homemade. So hopefully You'll like it. You guys haven't fucking done anything to it though because i've seen a lot of your fucking videos Well, you won't know until you taste it. I bet you it's fucking chilly. I'm not touching shit If it's up, no, no, it's safe. Have you ringwormed in it? No, we haven't spoilt it. Honestly, I'd I'd prefer if you'd done that over any chilly. We hate you. No, no, no. No, no. You're safe. You're safe All right. Well, that's it. It's very nicely wrapped. Who wrapped it? Well, fuck, I did wrap it I roughly wrapped it, but anyway, thank you very much. All the best. Thank you for having us and um No, it's our absolute pleasure boys. What are you fucking jumping at? Oh, no, I've just got the shakes There's nothing to worry about It's all good Why why is it in a wooden box? Is it why? I don't believe in Tupperware and I had nothing to put it in I love wine. There's something fucking in here. Is it? Is it? It's a fucking bomb. Have you guys Anthrax Someone's bought us anthrax. Oh no, dude. I really don't want to open it. Do you want to open it? Brown, were you open it? I don't have to fucking open it Matt, are you gonna open it? It's like I feel like it's gonna be an explosion No, I'm feeling something's gonna happen. It's innocent. It's not living No, it's innocent. Dude, I'm not fucking... I don't want to open this Paper scissors rock. Paper scissors rock, so you open it. We're a little offended. You can eat it Yeah, what if it is lollies? We're gonna feel so bad. Yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah, it's scary. That's their fucking flopper employee It's not gonna be good. It's nice. Yeah, that's so true Scissors, paper, rock. Shit, shit, shit Oh Fuck I'm gonna open it towards you though. Oh, no, don't fucking open it at me Oh my god, I thought it was a fucking mouse. Got him on the head. I thought it was a fucking mouse. What is that? Is that alive? No, it's like a little... Is it like a fishing lure thing image again? Yeah Oh, damn it. There's no lollies. He should have used a real one. Dude, that was fucked up. Oh, yeah, a live yabby It's floppers creation. He actually made that. We're gonna fucking... You should make merch for these like sell them as little gifts We're gonna um, fuck everyone. Let's get the boys with it, too, mate. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, they'll 100% fall for that. Yeah All you do is put a bit of tape across the top with lollies mixed lollies written on it I give that to JJ the other day and he fucking threw it that far I didn't film it. He's like, why didn't you film it? I was like, well, if I had the camera out, you're not gonna fucking open it Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true Oh, wow. Well, thank you very much boys. That's bloody lovely. We're gonna fucking see if we can give some kinds of heart attack That's the plan. Yeah, Flappa wants it back I'll combine another one. Oh, yeah, he's gonna have the back of his wallet. No, no keeping it now All right boys Cheers for coming on and um, thank you for having us. Good luck with all the vids and shit and um, let's bloody Let's film some shit soon. We'll come to the coast. We'll film some shit. We can fucking film some crazy shit here There's a missing person around here. So we can go try find him for a vlog. Actually, that's what we should probably Oh, we're busy this week. No worries guys. Thanks for coming We're gonna have a quick bong break and we're right back with Matt vs Michael. You can Hey And this is a segment where Michael and Matt go head to head In varying tasks to see who the better man is overall And whoever wins the most by the end of the season gets to keep Matt's bottle of freshly churned mints To do with whatever he wants. You guys excited or nervous? I'm so drain Drain well, that's not gonna help you for this one because today We find out who's the fastest sprinter Who can make the other laugh the fastest fastest fastest fastest? So You will take an intern to sit straight faced and the other one has one minute To try and make you laugh if you laugh I stop the timer if you smile actually I stop the timer. You must stay completely straight faced A smile is all that is needed. Usually a laugh might take a while a smile. Come on. That ain't nothing All right paper scissors rock to scissors. Okay, fuck. Okay, you should have the advantage here I've got a blank all right Scissors paper rock. Yes, you will be going first I'm just gonna make him laugh just make him smile. That's it. All you got to do is make him smile man You need to what he needs to watch he has to watch so you need to watch him as well because yeah Yeah, are we watching him? I'll be impressed if I get the littlest smile out of him Yeah, he's very good at holding a blank face, but he has had a bit of weed and It's just a smile It's just a smile You have to make eye contact with him to be like fair tear No, yeah, or you can stand too matt if you want you can stand and and do it do something. Sorry I feel like you should stand you have more He's still thinking about what he's gonna do. I've already got mine laid out in my brain I've got sets of this for days so many cords attached to me. Yeah, just take the headphones off and you'll be okay He's out for the loan nearly warrants a smile Yeah, I've got to like go to a dead place in the back of my childhood here because he's going to be high Matt so you need to bring him back to this reality You need to bring him back to this reality and you need to make him laugh wait One minute, but when I start the timer Yeah, yeah, I will be I will be All right, I'm gonna join me to count you in All right, three two one. I've run out of my material and you ruined it Stand up and do something if you if you move your body in a funny way He will laugh move your body in a funny way. No, you can't touch him move your body in a funny way Move your body in a funny way, dude Make a strange sound he loves sounds and shit. No, no like move your body just showing him your ass That's not gonna make him Matt move your do something erratic Oh my god, here comes the blame. He ruins everything. All right. Here we go. Michael stern. Let me start three two one Okay, let's do this check this out. I may be half human But I'm all woman Okay, wait pikachu He is good. No laughing. Well, he's annoyed at me. That's why it was easy for him to not smile Oh Holy shit, dude, that was how did you not laugh at that? Yeah, that was some good shit when you did the hand thing That had me. What was the hand you had one thing there nearly go other pikachu that nearly got I had to hold off All right guys, it's a draw this week a disappointing draw and um, we're gonna give them both a point for that And so now the score Do you have to give you have to give a points don't you because then yeah So now the score is um, it was 11 7 so now it's 12 8 12 8 to Michael everyone. Holy shit. Is that going to make the scores weird at the end? Or they'll be right We'll figure it out as we go as long as there's a winner All right Oh man, that was fucking how did yeah, I don't know how you didn't laugh at that. Hey You're very good. It's crazy. You should be an actor. No, what's close? Matthew brown is lost control now these women will lose their souls Now oh, yes, here we go now this morning I swear I sent you the number man I don't know. I don't think you did have you been messing. I think I did no. Holy shit I was too surprised showing everyone the work that I'd done Because you just read it this is girl. Yeah, I will but this girl is quite um attractive and um Like even just everyone I showed it to like James and Michael like I actually like try with her like you should actually try And I didn't I didn't at all But the even cooler thing is she handled it so well that she's like actually like kind of impressive So that's a test to see now that she's got a sick personality You can be yourself no matter what because the very worst version of you. She's already accepted. She's girlfriend material Yeah, maybe I don't know do you find out as she has she seen her yet? I saw a brief What do you think of this beauty? I haven't I can't remember but is she pretty? She's quite pretty. Yeah. She's quite pretty Brown everyone's imagine it's about inside their soul too. Once you get to know her you'll find even more tracks exactly It's all about that we push the button. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all about like Getting to know their soul and getting to know who they're really about and this is a conversation you had What are you looking at? I am looking for long-term and stable relationship. How about you? I'm looking for a hole to mince up could be caine for commitment down the track, but when's your rags Oh my god Is that who started it? Yeah, and she did not reply Oh, so idiot so far No, no that was a completely different. Oh, I thought that was the one of the girly story Oh, no, no, I thought that was that Sorry, yeah, that must have been confusing Oh My god Damn that would actually have been even funnier if I did that Made it out like I've made such progress. I'm sure it comes off like that. We thought that you were saying that Oh my god, that's it. Anyway, all right. Oh very good. Yeah, I'll get to that one I'll let you guys know when it's that one Are we close under that corner? That's hot. That's what that's asking girls to do in the mirror Um, hi matt. Do you live in browns plains, too? Oh Yep, I've actually seen you at the shops When I saw you I thought to myself, holy shit. This bitch is hot as fuck She better be fucking single conor all snipped my fingers off with tin snips Oh, I'll buy it. When did you see me? What shops? I saw you at browns plains plaza a few weeks ago. I think I followed you around for a while and thought you noticed me a few times You threw something in the bin and I scuttled over and grabbed it out It was a napkin or some food some scraps. I sniffed it eagerly. It was hectic. What were you doing there? She didn't write back. No, she hasn't written back yet. Oh my god. That is so dense That is so intense to receive She would hopefully she didn't go to browns plains. That's not good. She lived in browns plains She's like, yeah, I don't buy it. I'll see where this goes and then she got that Oh, man. I pray I hope that she does Always looking over her shoulder now I probably got reported if she lives in browns plains Maybe she gets the sarcasm and thinks you're a number one stand up dude. Imagine if matt got arrested The cops just rocked up and arrested. Well, it's not under my email. Who's email's another? I think your email's a mark mark when I get arrested Well, no, I'll take a hundred percent fall for if any there's ever any legal issues. That's on me. I'll take it And you can take that to the bank come what legal issues You might be going to jail brown like sexual harassment or something Yeah, we never really but I don't I steer away from that. We just hope you're just enjoying her rubbish I don't feel comfortable discarded of it. You are allowed to have that if she puts it in the bin It's like some man's treasure or trash. She's someone other's treasure. So there you go. That was your treasure in her trash. Sorry She's the one. All right. Here we go So she starts this conversation a lot of that going on lately Them starting the converse Hey, how are you doing for a Tuesday? Not too fucking shabby sweetheart two more days till the weekend and then I'm fucking getting on it Gonna be blind until Monday morning. What are you up to? What's the occasion or simply just the weekend? I'm actually going out drinking this weekend, which I don't do too often So that should be good And then I replied today this at like midday Monday Just waking up now Holy shit. That was a fucking hectic weekend Friday night. I just got a carton on my way home from work and literally just sat on the couch and On my own and sunk the whole thing Hung over as Mel Gibson on Saturday So I started having rumbos and then ended up getting a bag and watch the footy Dusted a whole bottle of rum off. I fucking spewed everywhere Didn't really sleep and then Sunday I had a boozy breakfast and went and saw my mate Nathan And we just smoked some crack and I ended up having another carton of bourbon and coax Just woke up Dan. How's your fucking weekend? Can't You didn't get a reply to that did you? Oh, well that wasn't this morning It's like just like the previous message saying that you're going to go through to Monday. You've committed to it and now set the message Yeah, that worked out perfect It's like on no occasion either just gets that fucked up for three days She has to reply because it's like it could be true Midday on Monday. Oh, you wouldn't want to date that Dude, be surprised. There's probably some girls out there that would do that. Real surprised. No Hey Matt, did you have a good day? Did you have a good day? Sister got trampled by a horse. She trains them and one got spooked and bucked her off Then stomped on her skull. It's just a hairline fracture, but it's still pretty dangerous. How are you in shit? Jesus, is she okay? In hospital? I take it that sucks and hope she has a speedy recovery. I'm good in shit. What's on foot today? I'm good in shit Yeah, she's in hospital. I got so angry. I I got so angry the horse. I fucking punched it as hard as I could in the face fully lost control Yeah, I'm just in the hospital seeing my sister, but I think She'll be out this weekend. I've been sneaking some of her painkillers Oh, that's so fun. Have we ever thought about what it would feel like to take someone's life? Please tell me she replied. No, that was against. Oh, dude. This morning Oh, dude, just set the tone that you can get so aggro that you're willing to get hit on a horse As hard as you can man, it'd be hard to knock it out You know that you could oh, holy shit All right, so this Is the girl that i'm talking about. All right, so she's sent her number. She wants to go on a date with matt's confirmed She didn't say she want to go on a date. She just gave a number matt. It's look look matt You can't not be happy after this conversation, all right because she is a cool. She's cool I didn't say I wasn't happy. Yeah Without a doubt this chick has a good sense of humor. Anyway, so she's you know quite good looking and And the boys will like oh don't ruin this one. Marty don't ruin this one. So I started one I started with Fuck my breath reeks right now. How's your weekend? So I disregarded that and just went hard and still you wait and see now Who are you sucking off on the weekend? She'd probably get that checked. Is that what she said back? Yep Sucked off my dead uncle by the smell of it. Why are you so good-looking and single? Fresh dad or newly there's only a small difference that needs to be established Single because guys keep sucking off their uncles Yeah, he died in the bushfires a few years ago. So not fresh but not completely decomposed I would definitely stop sucking my uncle off if you would let me take you out on a date But no guarantees. I won't suck him off of down the track Oh, yummy. I love a good barbecue sausage. No wonder you were into it Those are terms I could accept on a temporary basis Anything past one date and you'll have to let me join in on the barbecue. So the uncle sucking I didn't reply for a while and then I saw how cool her responses were. So I said Hey, sorry for the slow replies. I've been busy breaking the world record for having the biggest dick Oh my god Goals thinks that's that's hot, right? If they don't then disregard Anyway, how's your weekend? Can I please have your number? Please I will disregard the big dick record It's not about the size. It's how you use it clearly not as good a weekend as yours No record setting on my end and then she sent her number Wow So you have pretty much you're in a long-term relationship Hello It's that or long distance It's worth a text. So Matt, right? She leaves. She lives in Perth. You don't even have to tell us She does not live in Perth. No, she doesn't. There's a lot. How about this? Okay, if if you don't even have to tell us how it's going you just have to promise me that you're gonna text her You don't have to mention it again. We won't talk about it once on the podcast All you have to do is message her. Why do I have to message? Cause it's good for it's like it's option. You gotta move forward two steps forward three steps back just to see what she's like I'll think about it All right, last one here we go Um, I think I read the start of this one last week, but it's progressed nicely Hey, nice to meet you. What's the plans today? You haven't met me yet, babe. You won't forget it when you do Hi, I'm matt greg brown Today I'm meant to be having lunch with my wife, but I don't know if I could be fucked living the house you I know I haven't met you Met you, but I'm meeting you through here. Haha. So does your wife know that you are on here? That's so true. I never thought of it like that. No, she doesn't know yet. I'll probably tell her this week You got a boyfriend or anything? How long have you been here for and I hope you do she may not like the fact you're on a dating site But at least she will know and no been separated for almost 12 months and to be honest I don't even know if I will date for a bit yet after what I experienced in the marriage I'm more than happy to chat to you and be friends But I will not do anything more as I dis as I respect your you And having a wife. I'm not one to chop down another one's grass in all respects I got on tender two weeks ago. Yeah, my marriage is dead My wife crest won't even kiss me anymore. It's been like this for over a year I respect you respecting my bitch wife. How long were you married for? Oh, yep, I'll kiss you whenever you want and that's not good clearly someone else is in the scene I was married with him for 10 10 years five years married What would you sorry I was with him for 10 years five years married Would you suck my balls whenever I want it as well? I've got three I told my wife about tinder. She was pretty upset, but then she went out and I stayed home and watched porn Fuck that's a long marriage. Do you still see him? I just found some skittles on the ground Ha ha possibly Oh, I'm glad you told her and oh that okay, so it was good And yes extremely long celebrating one year today without him or seeing him So hopefully I'm drunk by the end Hey, how and then I didn't reply for a few days. Hope you had a good weekend. Hope things are okay Hopefully talk soon and then today. Hey, baby. So sorry for the So sorry for the slow replies my wife's been a real sick slobby flab Keeps bitching at me to have a shower even though I've already had one this week Fuck I just want to be with you. I want to grab your neck and shake it Then touch your nose with the tip of my tongue and stare at your tits for hours. Is that so much to ask for? Oh, hey, sorry later reply. I've been helping a friend. And what do you mean a slobby flab? Why whinge about having a shower? Don't you shower? Ha ha. Oh, I'm nothing special. I have a tummy that jiggles and stretch marks Yeah, she's just got heaps of loose skin under a chin and it flaps from side to side when she stops around the house She grabs it and stretches it out as far as she can because she knows it scares me I definitely do shower just like when I need to and shit And that's an ongoing conversation. I hated that whole conversation Oh my god, dude That whole conversation was so fucked She thinks your wife has like these big flabber skin hanging under a chin Like a rooster on Austin Powers when he gets like by such ass He's got like just loose skin over his neck Or like a fucking rooster or something Oh my god, man, she like doesn't care I'm married Dude, yeah, she's like she in one sentence She's like, oh, I respect you that you married and then the next she's like, oh kiss you whenever you want Yeah, well, maybe because you made it clear that you're she didn't love you anymore and you wanted to like leave her Yeah, you did make that very clear, Matt Oh man, that was like Sloppy flab What do you mean? She pulls it to scare him I should chase it in my hand Oh very good That was well, look, there's a girl that you get to text out. So that's progression And she's got the same sense of humor. I'm gonna send you the number She's open to threesomes with your crispy uncle What it is time for the cues and the Oh, no, we're not doing the play the song man And this is where we answer your questions that you've commented on the money For the actual youtube channel and we answer the most liked questions first Can I just take this opportunity to please ask you to like comment subscribe And also give us a five star review on spotify. It really helps us really helps us a lot on spotify yet We're still 2.2. I keep we keep Reminding people at the end we gotta remind me at the front So now just go to our spotify and click five star review Yes, you may have to just go to the end of like a spotify episode So you click on an episode you skip like halfway through and then you can give us a five star review It would be the best it helps it does help and the subscribers on youtube, of course And we never make a fucking cent from youtube the only money we make is the sponsors. So please Please just like comment and subscribe. It's all that we ask for and also also Help us out the five star review and spotify. Yeah And that close that mouth What are you suggesting that you'll suck their dicks for five stars? Top question went to matt browns at dirty moot. Ha. Whoa. What a name. Yeah Oh, I think it's a picture of me Anyway, um, okay, um People have asked this before but it could have changed over time. Um, what's the most you guys have ever spent on a prank or video? Oh, man, probably our most expensive that we both decided to pay for equally was the tv prank The tv ad prank He's wasted that much money Even you heard at the fucking charity event. He almost just lost a 7k. It was in an adrenaline rush. They're gonna give me that Anyway, it's like it's fun sticking. It's up there near house deposit. And it's like fuck dude. I need I don't have I've got Yeah, look, we did agree a long time ago that We have no where she's spending large amounts of money on videos and um, I suck true to that Yeah, um, so yeah, that was by far the most expensive and should we just tell him how much and I think it's a bigger deal I don't remember. I don't even I was 25 thousand dollars 25 grand for that and um, I regret Because you can choose billboards. I like it. No the late at night like 11 Yeah, yeah, the thing I regret the most is letting the guy talk into his like this old tv guy He's like, no, no trust me You're money better spend if you like play it on the in between nine after 9 p.m So not prime time and on like the secondary channels like seven maintenance shit and like at the time I was like, there's no way this is true and I argued against him for ages But he finally convinced me he said mate. I guarantee you guarantee you making a mistake So I was like, okay, I'll listen to you And I wanted just it to run like maybe five times because it's far more expensive at like 7 30 p.m I just want to run like five times air So at least some fucking people will see it because I don't think anyone saw it on tv playing it with those shitty secondary channels I think I'm not sure you and me set there watching it for ages and it barely barely came on Yeah, so like there's more massive waste um Yeah, what it proved with the tv ads and the billboard is is that social media is way easier to get something out there to the people rather than putting on a billboard It's important. No one saw it and tv ads. See if that's a debt like unless she was prime spot prime time spots No one fucking listens or watches ads as soon as the tv ad come on people just change your channel They must pay hundreds of thousands to have it continuously come on Oh, you're the same ad over and over and over like the show I was hoping that we would get some marketing out of it, you know at least but Is that it turns out like have you seen water rats in the 90s? Yeah that tv show like that with blue healers That's so true, man. That was a good show next question is from tim mostray Did you like water rats dude? I loved it my parents put it on for me to that show mom always loved it It's search and rescue and they went down rocks. Sorry. I remember it rats. I remember like the You remember water rats. It's like water police Anyway, they were after me for a while. Sorry Tim mostray, uh, it's um Question of the park. It's great to see the assistant brown more often on the science experience and prank videos Matt if you could leave the concrete tower for good and go full time Um as their lab assistant or coos would you ever do it? I don't know depends where I fit in Imagine if Matt was just like had the best twitch set up and he just became like a full gamer And then was just podcast and gamer that would be your dream And you had to spray paint your body gold every you were the golden twitch You were the golden twitch the golden goose No, the golden twitch as opposed to the golden snitch and you dressed up as the snitch from harry potter Okay, would you do that? Maybe and you have to learn how to speak other languages. Is this so I leave the concrete tower? That's what I don't have to do. Well, you could do that and the podcast man I'd love to be like a golden snitch. You just game dude. Fuck and be a gamer would be so fun being a gamer would be like Holy shitman brown You know anyway answer is um, yes, but I don't know where I fit in yet. Um Um, next question is from uh, kaleb henry um Can you boys ever do a podcast while on mushrooms or acid? No, yes Fuck yes. No Michael Oh man, fuck such a shame that you have if you know, you know, it's had too many bad experiences Now, you know, okay, I think we've discussed this if brown does it we'll do it Oh, I'd do it, but I just don't think I'd last like if it's anything like the mushroom trip We had at um the boys trip. I just couldn't sit in the room Would you do salvia or like dmt? I think I'm more likely to do that. I think I think I want to get I'd need a few beers before doing dmt It really scares me. Oh, dude. You're not meant to do beers But I remember when the when we did it the first time that it's what it's literally the only reason I even attempted it was because I was a bit drunk Yeah, we I wouldn't I don't think I could say yes to doing it unless I had some liquid courage in me guts Man, that's the wrong way to go about it. But yeah, I can see what you say fine. Fuck. I'll do it then We said 10,000 likes, but yeah, I don't know 10,000 likes we'll do dmt live on the podcast Will I get a heart attack or some shit? Dude, probably you'll just get a life for oh, man You come back different if you do it properly. You won't be the same forever No Next question is from Jirex Jirex. Um When are you guys going to invite it when you guys invite a guest on for an episode? Are you able to tell us who you'll have on so you can have questions before? Um No, we struggle with that. We can't do that because we're always a week ahead in our podcast. So Yeah, it's it's a little hard because if we put out that a guest is coming on and we promise And then it has to get rescheduled or we're back out. It's going to be all over the place. It's falsify So, um, yeah, but let's get some fans on tonight Yeah, well, we are actually thinking about doing something soon. Come on in boys Oh, it's a poor joke I didn't believe you from the beginning I thought we were doing really well. We committed. We fucking committed. I was like, this is too much commitment How did you know we were lying? I know I saw James leave And I've got an eyesight to the always have an eyesight to the door I know so I know what's coming. Anyway, there is no fans coming on today, but um, there will be all right But Okay, will there be a all right. Oh actually because then we also have to give our address to people That's always a bit. We are going to have Pradeon soon, but it'll be over the phone. He's a he's a fan Oh, we'll have to go to a neutral location and and do the fans there Do them have them Next question is from Addison Leet Um, instead of uh, moogoo, are we able to get Michael to uh, watch and review the state of origin? Oh, that would be nice Oh, man, they're like watching state of origin last time. Did you got cranky? Cranky and put hole in tv Yeah, I guess I was a little out of line. Isn't that disrespectful matt? I would have been highly upset to break someone's tv like that. Yeah, you just pay for it after You've broken a lot of my things here. You've never paid for them Like what? He's a hyman my chairs He's hymen sometimes when I'm using a spoon. I just throw it like in the garden all my cutlery and Plates from my last place Sometimes Couldn't be fucked. He'll just throw his cutlery in the gardens or something. Yeah, it's a medal. It's like a rock Belongs back. It's like a feature. Yeah, but we bought more spoons the other day. We bought heaps of things Just the other day. We've been here a long time now. There's plenty enough things Now you're not going to get out of this. Oh, yeah, dude, it's just a fork. You're in the wrong Well spoon. They're the same thing pretty much It's heaps of them We're gonna have a chat after this Um next question from dylan b. Um, how do you still have feelings for cows? No, no, I don't I'm married now and you know, to be honest, I haven't really thought about Slinging my thing up a bitch and slamming away at a mook how for a while Oh, man, it used to be fun to be on their back and pull their heads back and slit their throats While I was having sex with a man. Do you remember that man? That was wild Yeah, the killing got a bit too much Well, the the look on the cow's faces was almost why I did it the other cows Yeah, that's fucking hilarious Yeah, it's good that you stopped that I think though. Yeah Yeah, I guess so you have more time in your day now You're not really a That's why I'm just don't have any time anymore Next question is from your boy shotguns Your boy's shotgun your boy's hot guns or your boy's shotguns. Maybe both. So What is the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house? I remember Michael used to fucking at his own house would do weird things to guests Well, yeah, what's a weird thing a guest has done here? I don't know Austin shat on the bonnet of a car here. Oh, yeah um strange The some kind went missing here Strange, baby. He wasn't really a guest here though. Oh, yeah, I'm trying to invite him over It's always just strange I remember when Michael, um lived With in high school Michael would know that friends were coming over and I'd hear him giggling in the toilet Then I'd ask him what he was doing and he'd come out and he'd have a shit in his head his own shit in his head I actually remembered doing that act and then he would go and play hide them Under the sink in the in the bathroom and close the door. So it didn't smell too bad Wait for the guests to come over Say hi You know all the initial little highs and then you're like, oh, hang on guys I'm just gonna do it and then he'd walk off and then Everyone's still in like the small talk phase. Everyone's just very like normal And then Michael would come out with his shit in his hand Like do you guys like what do I do with this? Where do I put this and everyone would just stop Stop talking and just be in such shock and so grossed out Did anyone see that enough and then neither every time nearly every time me or Henry Whichever one of us could get to him first Would slap his hands Shit would go flying on the wall and slide down Shit would get knocked out of his hand And there'd be a massive skip hug on the wall Do people not come back? They're like friends of ours. Yeah, they're friends. I mean, but was anyone like just a bit? Oh, that's not right. I've been doing it parties like when I have parties in my house I think it might have shocked some some people that night because they weren't like close close friends, but normally it was just like friends from school I remember we did Greg's mate. He goes. He's like this dude that goes to church day He did it in front of this like he's like father of three. He's like 40. So we're in his touch footy team And we're like we're like teenagers at the time And then we go and having celebrations after our like touch football season Drinks at mind and he came over and like witnessed it and he He sort of was like fine with it, but he is a cool guy. Yeah Anyway, long story short. We we yeah a lot of dumb shit a lot of shit What else have you done seen? I don't know. Jackson's done some pretty weird naked shit Yeah, I don't know if it's the I don't know if it's the weirdest thing I've seen but it's Yeah, I don't know I've done more weird things to guests Yeah, I've done weird things to pal like I had Connor in my room in front of everyone and not one person Stepped in to help and I just had him for like a good 15 minutes. Jesus. Oh my bad. Yeah, everyone was drinking having a good time I just started. Oh, you were holding him down. I remember it. I dragged him and just put my weight on him and just started Was he trying to leave? He was a bit upset. Yeah And he said let me go and I said no and I just kept going and going and going And a little Michael a little Michael was just like so happy to see that And yeah, everyone no one did anything to help Is this real kidding? I confirm this. I have a vision of walking. He was in your room in my bedroom Everyone was in my bedroom and I remember and he's like screaming stop. Yeah, stop It was like 15 minutes. Elias was like, this is so good. He just said just calmly said how happy he was and Yeah, Elias these best friend didn't even help him Yeah, it's crazy. That's special. That's like a fun moment on a buck. I feel like someone else got in there with me I don't know So that feels full. I think that inspired me to throw everything out of your wardrobe onto you guys Yeah, that's when everyone suddenly it was the chaos. That's all right. Yeah, that's all right. I should have done that That's okay. I emptied my wardrobe onto the ground If um It's all right, you know, they throw my I think I did it on you in your bed while it was happening Oh, that's fine. It was in defense. It's totally fine then stop Stop the uh, they throw my wardrobe. They They piss on my table. They I've pissed your bed a few times. They they attack my laundry when it's drying No, that was that was jay. We put everything back where it was. You're responsible. You're his your employee Yeah, well, I wasn't I I Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Well, you did put it back perfectly. Yeah, it did work. Exactly Oh, I think we broke the clothes also it only works one side Again, um, sorry. Sorry. Um, but yeah, I don't know weird things It's I've just done more weird things to guests. Yeah told the story about that kid in primary school I used to pretend to give him apple juice. Oh man That was just that's like that's bad karma coming your way, but very what'd you piss? No, no, no So there's this kid in primary school. He like would always come over unannounced on the weekend like just so annoying Oh, so he was sort of that kid that oh, man be at your house. He would be knocking on the windows at 7am Mom like hated it as well. Yeah, I can see your mom being annoyed. It's like you it's fucking You're trying to have a sleep in these kids just looking through the windows. Yeah, he's not all there You know, and and he'd always be I was like I have to be forced to fucking interact with him and play with him Like do you want so I would just from my own entertainment would just mess with him because it was just so Shit, how are we? It's already been like eight. Oh man, even at eight you had the mind and and so I'd be like, oh, do you want like Apple juice water? I'm like, oh, yeah apple juice So I'd go get a glass of water and I'd just sit an apple in it And then I'd go and hand it to him and with a completely straight face So he'd see me coming and he'd sort of start smiling like oh this guy's like taking the piss But then he would see how straight faced I was like that Germans operate like yeah I was just completely straight face like here's here's your apple juice. Here's your apple juice And then he'd he'd take it he gets so confused But would be too polite to say anything and then he'd sort of just take the apple hand drink the water and then eat the apple Oh man, that happened multiple times and once I did it. I did it with a carrot I was like, oh, what about like carrot juice? It was like, yeah, Carlos some car juice And then I come out just water with the carrot sitting in it and hand it to him again Oh my god And then it led to bikes on train tracks Yeah, oh, yeah, that's that's probably some bad karma coming that way But it was a shit bike though to be fair somebody clip He convinced the kid to put his bike on the train tracks I've never seen a train go past this place I don't know this kid was just very It was just very I don't even know if I should tell this story. I was a kid I was fucking eight years old. I think we have told this before in past But yeah, I don't feel good about this short. I don't feel good about this. All right. This is not destroyed He never had his bike again. I don't know probably. Yeah, we just it was it was stupid I regretted if I could go back and change it. I would I was a fucking kid. All right. It's a funny story now So I just convinced this kid. I just convinced him. I was like walking home with another mate and we're like, um Oh, dude, it would be this is the same kid before I explain this story where He would draw dicks in class all over his paper And he'd show me and I would laugh and laugh and then I'd be like, dude, you know who would find this hilarious The teacher the teacher would think this is hilarious And then he's like no way. No, he's like, no, no, and then I eventually convinced him I was like, I swear to you this is really good. It's actually really good drawing. She will love this Believe me it walked up to her And he shows the teacher this page full of dicks like with a massive smile on his face Just And then he looks back at me and I'm fucking in tears like trying but not trying to show him and I'm just like I shrug and I'm just playing off like you don't know Like I'm as shocked as he is Are you year Four or five three or something man. Oh my god. That's like the super bad story. It's crazy Oh, and then he had to go to the principal's office Anyway, I convinced him to leave his bike track on a train track And um, yeah, it was it was it was gone. He never saw that bike again. Yeah Oh, man, I remember you told me that nice guy. I just could not believe that was a real story That last story is very mean and I feel bad about it. It's a good story now And if Steven if you're watching I'll happily pay you for that bike but the other shit that's on you man. Yeah Oh god Um, yeah, we've all done something mean when we and we did that so you guys now know not to do that Yeah, I think just know if you think about doing that, you will regret it later. So don't do it. Yeah So, sorry, Steven. Yeah That's his name, Steven Is that in to umba? Next question from dion charat charat charat depending where he's from um All right, how how the fuck do you guys give matt a point for the capitals when he forgot melbourne? Okay, I've said a lot of comments about this. Yes, uh, when we did the uh, geography thing I confidently read out all the things I fucking left melbourne out Yeah, I didn't none of us picked up. I was too high. I literally didn't even realize we're all a bit out of that And um, yeah, I I left out melbourne. So good pick up everyone. You snuck one by and one I I didn't win that one. Anyway, so oh really? Yeah, you're the right place to go Really? Fuck. I thought you won it. No, you won the jarrison Next question from mikey bitna bitna bitna. Um, are you boys ever going to revisit the basketball explosion experiment? Yeah, one day. Oh, it's a bit scary that one. Hey I think because like it's sort of like the potato cannon the spud gun if you do it too close You can feel the shock wave that I swear does damage to the insides But like imagine if it went off in your hand. I know that's what I mean. It's close to your body Probably gonna fuck you up Yeah, I don't know Maybe we're Scary that maybe we do with big pair of tongs Yeah, maybe maybe we just sort of slowly get closer to it That could be it we pump it up. So you know, it just went off randomly on the last time Yeah, we pump it up and bounce it from different distances away until like we start throwing it at each other Oh That is not a bad video. We just throw a pumped up ball at each other back and forth and hot potato, but Hot basketball Oh, dude, and then you catch it and it blows up in your hand Lose one of your hands or you go to catch it. It goes through and blows up on your face No Or you just become steven. Yeah Fuck that All right final question. Oh, this name is extremely hard. It's an extremely hard name To say I'm gonna give it a crack though depending where he's from. I'm gonna go yon's sugar My apologies. Oh my god, man It's a tough one. She was like the way you read that was like so racist Pikachu level. I doubt that Pikachu level. I'll accept that So Oh I'm also going to reword the question because it's a cool question, but he's worded funny, but I will reword it Sure. It's a he quickly could be ago Um, don't assume genders, mate uh When aliens is finally revealed to the public and everyone's finally knows how will it change the world in your in your Yeah, who knows once aliens are fully out there in the world for everyone to see and they're migrating to earth How will it could unify everyone or it could divide everyone? It'll be used to fucking control like everything always. Mark will be very negative in his answer, but um So Michael thinks just in question world control in a way though I'd be like for me personally it'd be so it's gonna be it'd be so cool I'd play pool with somebody and I've been playing pool with an alien and I think it'd be cool if they bring cool things And I think if a civilization is that advanced they must have at some stage Reached enlightenment and realized no fighting or war or anything can exist for there to be A living civilization. So they probably are so advanced that they are nice Maybe it's just us who left so long ago, and then they just come back to check on what's left And like imagine talking to them and then they say oh, yeah, this is a do that can't you don't need to fucking worry about the fucking The fucking the fucking car not starting. Like, you know, they could teach you shit, bro Like to fly Don't you want that? Yes, would you use? Yeah So close to sleeping long break. All right guys, um Fuck and we have been going for a while and we want to try and start getting I know some of you really like the longer podcast, but we want to try and get them down to like an hour and a half So I'm going to skip the movie reviews this week, but don't worry. They will be back next week. I promise You'll be little promise. Okay. I promise you they'll be back next week come and We're going to replace it with we've been sent a huge package in the p.o. Box p.o. Box 256 taken 401 If you want to send a shit we open it live letters Michael passes the letters Yes, we have some hair. Thank you very much All right, we're gonna just got sent some pubic hair out of this letter. I'm gonna add it to the box This looks hard dude. Look at matt looking at the box There could be an animal in there. Don't you know I like it It's hot. Whoa. What is it hair? Yeah a lot. All right. We're getting sent some hair It's getting everywhere. Keep it coming guys. Keep the hair coming. Here you go Oh Shit, that's a lot. Keep you take it out. You're so Oh for fuck's sake It's getting everywhere already There's heaps now. Yeah, it's growing rapidly Oh All right, thank you so much everyone sending the hair keep the hair coming now We've got a massive matt's gonna be doing something with his hair the season finale. So please keep the hair coming Oh, that's a lot of hair dude Did you touch a lot of it? How much how much to put some of that in your mouth? Wow, the hair jar is really starting to fill up now, isn't it? Very good work everybody Very good work That's fucking all right. Let's have a look at that big old box What do you got? It's treats. Careful. It's treats Oh, no, it's not a container with inner container. That's not good. I'm not doing the rest there Looks like animal Oh, no, it came from like a cage Yeah, it kind of looks like an animal cage in a box to be honest. It came from overseas Imagine if some fucking monkey jumped out right now. It's some kind of bucket We got sent a bucket. It's matt's new chair Ah, it's matt's new chair Oh, wow Oh, what what's in the bucket? I don't know, but there's an asshole photo there Someone sent us a bucket with a picture of an asshole. All right. I caved asshole on it All right, there's a lot here to go through. So I'm just gonna pull it out Bit by bit. There's gonna put that over there a zigzag hemp cones. Guess I look Oh, wow some pre-roll. Fuck yeah. Thank you so much There's a letter on this one. I don't know what that is Edibles? There's a few letters here actually Edibles Hello boys If you're reading this letter, you are still alive. Good. This means you can utilize the new year you'll receive in this package Use the contents wisely for your safety Is at risk. I am deploying defensive and offensive weaponry to use at will I've provided you with photos of usage and keeps sake I think he says that to keep you. I don't know what that word is Thorough through if you put on sorry to keep you pushing through Love bret Pierce this message will self-destruct in three two one and my wife said I couldn't handle the toys. Oh, wow A family Family invented this in the 1990s and where and where's worldwide? Oh my god There's pictures on each thing of him using this they're bringing it back out this key I wanted y'all to have the first of the production. What is it? Spin and pop no way. This has been opened. Hasn't it? Yeah, I think this has been used I kind of want to eat this look. There's photos of him in this That goes on his dick Oh my god, these guys send us a box of some fucking weird shit and pictures Okay, so this thing which he's been on his dick is called a cock pro 3000 So it must go on his dick somehow Wow, it looks like this That spins in your mouth Oh, it's not on. What's this? Okay What's that? This is a silicon jack rabbit ring So it must oh you wrap it around your dick and then the chick has lots of fun with it. There's like two dick things on it It's double Okay, this is called the fetish Fantasy series is this just quite expensive man sex toys are not cheap. I feel like these have all been used though Oh, well, yeah, this one's open No, these look like they haven't been used Well, there you go. This looks like um, uh Face masks and We'll do be these out at the end Man, is there any candy apart from this one? I'm looking. I don't know what this is. It looks like a bag of some kind Do you reckon that bucket is a seat for you? No Oh, there's some kind of sex swing. Oh, there's something in the bottom. It looks like candy Yes, please be candy Oh, he says it's for bozzly Bar bar biscuits. Is it safe for dogs or? Yeah, but does it say it's for dogs? I don't know Oh, yeah All right Thank you so much for all of that. Do you reckon this is safe to eat Michael or is this guy like shoved it up his ass or something? Man, I don't know you smell it His dick was on this one that I can see the photo. He probably would oh, yeah Why would there is a hair on it where? That's there's not do you reckon this is Yeah, it's not on smell it Just risk it Press the button spin it Oh my god, there's another photo here. Oh no, oh my god He put it in his bum. You're lying. Oh, wow, that would have been so good Oh, thank you very much for that. That's been absolutely out rain. Thank you, dude Your time is there for us to waste picking up your phone was your first mistake. Ha ha ha It's prank call time Excuse me. I just called the stern has someone Hang up on me darling. I'm just after to speak to someone about an issue of hat Yep Was that yours just talking to your darling? Uh, I'm not too sure. Um, I picked up the phone, but there was no one on the other side. Okay, sorry darling Sorry, that's my mistake. Okay All right, what was the issue having a slight I've come in Yesterday evening to pick up a couple of bottles of shiraz for the girls And I've bought one of your bottles was delicious. Okay. I've had it many times And it was delicious but The second bottle I purchased It was a st. Hallett. You know the St. Hallett bottle you have A st. Hallett. Yeah, correct correct And that was in the shiraz Yeah faith shiraz bottle. I'm looking at it right right now darling. Okay Yeah, so we do have a couple bottles of that left. Yes, I'm saying darling. I bought one of those bottles last night and One and two glasses later. I realized the the bottle Has gone rancid darling Okay, the bottle is rancid And the wine is very vinegary Okay. Yeah. I mean if you wanted to bring that bottle in we can give you a I do one Yes, darling. Well, that's what I was going to suggest before you cut me out. Okay. Yeah, I'm bringing Bringing this bottle back. Okay, and I demand to have another bottle Okay, because that's Not acceptable. I just trying to have a good night with the girls Yeah Okay, so I'll bring empty bottle back And just typically I will be re-saving a full replacement Well, that's all right all four I will be re-saving. Okay A full replacement of my bottle of san jala Yeah, I can give you a free bottle if you bring in the one that's um Damaged or not up to standard then I can give you a replacement bottle. Absolutely Even if the bottle is empty If it's empty Um It might be better if you come in tomorrow with my manager I'm not sure if we're able to do that. I'm the only person here I'm entertaining people this evening darling. Okay, not tomorrow So I'm gonna need a new bottle today. Okay. Yeah, but we can't give a new bottle if you drunk Like that excuse excuse me. Okay. I was the only one drinking that bottle darling Some it's one of the girls had to glass with me and she said Exactly the same thing as I'm saying. Okay vinegar vinegar vinegar, okay. I know My rights as the consumer Okay, and you must reimburse me the full price Sure, man. Yeah, if you want to come in I can replace it. Excuse me. I am not mad. My name is ronda Thompson darling, and I'll be coming in and you will have some Respect for your customer. Thank you or you'll be hearing from my lawyer. Okay. Okay. I'm not very sorry about that Studying to do lawyer and he wants to be hearing Ted that much right now Now Now I'll see you shortly drunk, but just remember the same hell Right. Yeah, right. This is how it's your eyes behind the counter for you full bottle darling I want to be full bottle. Yes. Now. Now. Okay. I'm coming in now Okay, okay darling. Don't you send now when I'll get there. I'll call my Yeah Don't you dare interrupt drop me darling. You do your job. Okay, and I'll do mine Yep Okay, so I'll see you shortly. I'm just writing in front of okay But sorry, what was that? I'll see you shortly. I'll see you shortly Darling, I'm just waiting for an uber Okay, but I'm coming right now Yeah, okay right now. See you shortly darling Let's see. It's shortly darling darling Oh I wonder if that would work. See imagine if we had two days on the podcast. I could get dressed as ronda right now Now Holy shit, thank you Thank you for that. All right everyone. Hey. Hey, all right everyone Give us a five star review on spotify if you would please and don't forget to like comment and subscribe We're on our road to 40,000 subscribers on youtube That's crazy, man Whoa, we're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best We're the best. We're the best