 What's going on, you guys? Okay, so today we got a question from this guy. He writes, Lloyd, big fan of your channel and advice. I had a question. I seem to fall for women super quickly and especially for women that continually ghost me and are not that into me. I tried to avoid these kinds of women but can't seem to get them out of my head. Why does this keep happening and how do I make it stop? Thank you so much, thank you so much and look forward to hearing your answer. Okay, cool. This is obviously a super common problem that I deal with. Okay, especially with my students, especially with people who watch my channel. Yeah, these types of things happen a lot where you're getting involved with women that are, you know, just not that into you that goes to you but you're really into them and you fall for women really fast, especially if they give you a little bit of affection at the beginning. Okay, the number one reason why this happens is scarcity meeting. You don't really have a whole lot of options right now so when you do get a girl who's pretty that's into you then you fall for her super, super quickly. But there's actually something else going on which I'm gonna get to in a second. And by the way, if there's any women watching this video I think this could actually be very helpful for you too because a lot of the principles that I'm gonna talk about are pretty similar for women that this happens to when they start falling for a guy or something like that. Okay, so let's talk about the scarcity part. So like I said, if you don't have a whole lot of options going on and you get a little bit of happiness or a little bit of affection or interest from a girl who you find attractive and you're not used to having that happen to you, well yeah, you're gonna fall for because especially if you have a bad environment too where things aren't going very well for you right now you're gonna latch on to that super, super quickly. And so that's why I recommend having options so that when you do find a girl that you like that's actually good for you and makes sense for your life you have the wherewithal to actually pick her. Now I say having options works too but also if you just have a high self-esteem you can do this even without having a whole lot of options too. So I talk about how to build that in some of my previous videos as well too in addition to having options as well. Okay, so that's the scarcity element which is a big part of this but there's also another element that I've seen consistently with a lot of other guys. Even sometimes the guys who do have a lot of options who think that they have a relatively high level of self-esteem, they tend to fall into this. And what's happening is that you're not so much into the girl because if you were just falling for people really quickly the scarcity would be the only thing that I would talk about or the lack of self-esteem would be the only thing that I would talk about but there's actually something else going on. And you say that you fall for these women who ghost you, who aren't that into you. So they're kind of, these women will maybe give you a token of affection here and there but in general they're just not that into you and you continually pursue these women because you're not into them but you are into, it's called, there's a term for this, it's called a relationship of deprivation. Meaning you are addicted to the fact that she's depriving you of happiness, okay? So what happens is that when people are motivated to do things, when they think about things a lot we are motivated far greater by pain than we are actually by happiness. So if you have a girl who likes you who's giving you attention, who's actually a great match for you, that'll give you, that'll bring you up here, that'll make you feel pretty good. But if you get a woman who is like, you know, she gave you a little bit and then she pulled it and pulled it away and you were really happy when she was into you but then she pulled it away now you're gonna think about her like way more, okay? And this happens all the time, okay? You're into the fact that she's depriving you of the happiness and I see this happen with my students especially, you know, it happens if you're in scarcity a lot too but even if you're not like it can still happen as well. So the question becomes how do you know if you're in a relationship of deprivation, okay? You have to actually write down the qualities of this person and see if they're actually someone who's making you happy. Think about the times that you were with them. Think about the amount that you're happy and the amount that you're not happy as a relationship with this person, okay? If overall, this person is making you feel like shit most of the time, you gotta get rid of them. You're not into them in terms of like who they are as a person, like this person is not gonna make you happy and that's why I always say, put yourself first. And a lot of people don't understand what that means. You are not putting yourself first when you're engaging in these activities because if you did a grand sum total of how this person was affecting your life, that person would be affecting you negatively. So that's how you can look at it and decide if this person's actually someone you should be focusing on. Now, the other thing too is that you're obviously passing over women that would be a good option for you, okay? Maybe they're not quite as hot or maybe they're, you know, they're just not pulling that away from you as much as the other person is. They're not being a bitch to you for lack of a better term. They're not being a bitch and disrespectful to you. So you need to focus on the positive qualities of that person and repeat them to yourself, okay? If you focus on the positive qualities of them, it will blossom into something more. Now, this is important for relationships, but I think it's also important too if you're just a guy who wants to sleep with a bunch of women which I was like for a very long period of time and I spent so much messing around with women that were just making me feel like shit, okay? So focus on the things that are about individuals that are a positive influence in your life rather than being obsessed with women that are not providing a good influence on your life, okay? So once you start learning how to deal with this, your life's gonna be so much easier. You're gonna be getting much more results with women with like a fraction of the effort and that's really what I talk about in a lot of my coaching programs is to be able to do that. Okay, cool. Well, if you guys made it to the end, consider subscribing. I come out with videos like this every single week. If you're interested in getting coached by me personally, there's a coaching form down below in the description. Click on the form, fill it out, and if you're a great fit, we'll get back to you. Thanks a lot, y'all. Good luck. I can't get dollars down. Can't even get my blood blood. I'm gonna make you green. I'm gonna break my dollar bill. I can't let it finish.