 Today's the day. Academia's never interested me before, but now with Magic's College in Strixhaven, I'm ready to go back to school for my masters or my PhD or heck, a doctorate in casting! Well, I'm glad to see the enthusiasm. It's greatly needed in the community. What? Nothing. Anyway, I see your college credits, but I don't see a Magic High School in your academic history. Did you attend a Magic High School? I only attended Normal High School. I thought Magic High School was for Britain and Japan, and I took French, so... Aha. Well, maybe that won't be an issue if you just take a few summer classes and get your Magic GED. Shouldn't be a problem with your other scores. What college exactly did you want to attend? Well, I almost majored in accounting, and math always spoke to me in my undergrad, so I figured, quandrix, where math is magic! Absolutely. Their master program is no easy job, but I hear Ralph Zarrick himself likes to hire graduates right into the is... Oh, oh dear. Magic job security and hard work. What's not to love? Well, they're not going to transfer these accounting credits or... Calculeous? They're more interested in, you know, real math. If you joined, you'd have to take a restricted semester in uncounting and remedial sacred geometry. I spent my entire college career learning all that math, and now you're telling me that none of it means anything? Oh no, no, no, no, no. It means plenty in your limited universe. It just means absolutely nothing to the vast multiverse. Okay, so the math is going to be a no-go for me, but, you know, history to life, how about, how about Lorehol? Oh, you like magic history. That could be a good fit for you. I love learning about history and all the figures of the past and the planeswalkers and what they did, like T. Ferrari and my favorite pyromancer, Janet Boulevard. Oh, and Garac. I love Garac. He's so cool. Oh, you know what? Maybe not Lorehold. I don't think you should go around inspecting elephants who carry hammers. Oh, I don't want to upset founder Velo Machis. You know, from what I'm seeing here, you can write better than you can talk, so how about Silverquill? Quick of pen and sharp of wit, and we're having a terrible personality as a plus, so you've got that going for you as well. I really don't think that's going to be the best fit for me. Come on now. You're being modest. Your essays are wonderful. I already applied there, but they only use dip pens and they only allow you to use dip pens in well. Yes, yes. Who doesn't like a nice pen? And, like I said, in Silverquill, confidence is going to get you- I'm left-handed. I see. How about witherbloom? Yeah, that school always just seems so expensive to me. I'll be paying it off for years. I mean, like, potion supplies? Sure. But also swampside lodging? Oh, actually, they waive tuition and lodging, as long as you donate 30 pints of blood. I've only got 20. Oh, but 40 pints in a game of commander, right? You didn't pass biology, did you? No, I failed it twice. Right. So all that's left is Prismari. It's, well, an art school. Oh, I love art. You know, you don't have to make art. Art history and art appreciation are both valid degree paths. Well, they're degree paths. Well, even if I can't make art, I can learn what art is and then tell people they're wrong for liking something. Wait, is there some other comically punctuating requirement that I'll never meet? Actually, your resume has already been accepted and chosen for an undergrad's senior project. So if you want a magic art degree, it's all up to you. I did it. Now what? Honestly, I just make YouTube videos with mine. We want to give a big shout out to Talaria Community College. Please check out his link in the description. Please just love him like we love him, even if you're not into magic. Watch how he reviews boxes. Anyways, head on down to our Patreon and donate if you want, and you can suggest a script. And we might use it. You can even hang out with us once a month as we sit on stream and eat pizza. And you can also eat pizza, but you don't have to. It's your body. It's your pizza. It's your right, patreon.com slash dormoster.