 Oh my god, who would do such a thing? Who made toddlers a thing like, find me the CEO of toddlers right now. Toddlers are so weird cause it's like, they're not like infants, you know? They're not like infants that are vulnerable but stationary, no. Instead, they exist in like this weird Goldilocks zone of being both mobile but too young and knowing what can end their fucking story mode campaign. Being around a toddler is possibly the most draining task. There should be a law, a law that forces people with toddlers to pay other people for having to be around their annoying ass kid. Each toddler gets a chip implanted into them. Any time they go above a certain decibel, money starts to exit their parent's bank account and everyone within a 15 meter radius gets money transferred onto their credit cards like, just imagine being on an airplane. There's some snot-nosed ass kid crying and you just start receiving passive income like as League of Legends. Toddlers are professional, very professional if I should add. Very professional vibe killers like, imagine that one friend of a friend of a friend that gets invited to the lunch table. You know, the one that's like the second oldest but still somehow four years of maturity behind everyone. The one that somehow finds a way of making the conversation about themselves over and over again never fails. Talking about the time you found a shiny rock at the beach, time to make the conversation about me. Oh, you wanted to hear what was going on in the life of someone that's only gotten to share 40 seconds of conversation in the group? That's too damn bad. That's my conversation now, buckaroo. That's what it's like being around a toddler. Always needing attention. Always killing the vibe. The only difference between a toddler and an egotistical motherfucker is that you can always tell the nigga with the ego to shut the fuck up. You can always start throwing hands if it gets to that point, but you try that shit with a toddler and it's like, damn bro, now you the bad guy. Only reason infants don't bother me as much is because when they start acting up all you really gotta do is just pop a titty in their mouth because they some perverted ass niggas but also again, infants can't walk or really move around that much. It's more manageable, maybe even satisfying hearing some annoying ass infant crying but has no other tools to exert that rage or distress. Sometimes, sometimes when a mind's not looking, I like the loom over crying infants and just smile at them. What's wrong, huh? Can't move? That's right, you pathetic punk bitch. Cry. Cry because that's all your lame ass can do. Toddlers on the other hand. Take and throw temper tantrums, run across the room, kicking, screaming, biting, tossing small toys at you like them. Vibe killers, bro. Absolute Vibe Killers.