 Welcome back to the 21 convention 2019 of Warsaw Poland our next speaker is a good friend of mine he's spoken this convention many times before this speech now will be a sixth time he returns to this stage at the 21 convention he is the reason I banged the hottest girl of my life at his apartment in LA a couple years ago this fucking awesome he's a founder of intercomponents.com is formerly known as this convention and known now as the Hebrew Hammer of Confidence without further ado please let me welcome back to the stage Robbie Kramer all right everybody so I'm gonna be talking about how to execute the perfect first date and what I love about this convention is you get the most amazing speakers who talk about number one big picture theoretical stuff and I always like to come and add in some real deep dive deep dish sort of topics detail oriented actionable and applicable advice and I did that back in 2014 I spoke about texting that speech was really well received so I'm gonna do it again and talk about how to execute a perfect first date so this is about an 11 year discovery in the making of just constantly obsessing over women and trying to do everything I can to optimize my dating experience and when I first started I wasn't getting many second third or fourth or fifth dates and when you learn this perfect first date it doesn't matter if you're looking to date casually or find something more serious this will apply it doesn't require any manipulation or drama no weird pickup crap like that makes dating fun anxiety free saves you money and it battles loneliness and best part it creates sex on demand if you can consistently run really solid dates you can always have women in your life so why listen to me as Anthony's mentioned founder of inner confidence calm been a dating confidence coach for 13 years but it wasn't always so easy as evidenced by this photo here I don't know if you guys can read that but so as my pen is big so that was a nice shirt I picked up in my first day starting out as a you know reading the game and trying to get into all this stuff as a silly pickup artist this was back in 2007 and you know the advice back then was awful got me dressing like this as you can see I was pretty fat but it was my introduction to the red pill and it totally opened my eyes to just a completely different life as all of you guys know preaching the choir here about that so I'm really thankful for you know that crazy advice and just basically getting into personal growth because I was totally unaware I was just a poker and golf nerd finishing college as like a 23 year old had really no idea what I wanted to do but I found all this dating advice and it really kind of gave me a purpose so that was my phase one was getting into the red pill stuff learning how to be a more confident guy then my next phase I lost about 55 pounds here after my first speech actually of the 21 convention back in 2011 I was really inspired by a lot of the other speakers I was like the fattest guy there and I figured shit you know if I can't lose this weight and really optimize my appearance you know what business do I have coaching other guys so that was a huge turning point it wasn't just losing the weight I learned Muay Thai I played some competitive team sports like ice hockey and I really looked to build basically how I felt about myself so I my inner confidence could match my outer the next phase I call it developing game or reps and that's really what I'm going to talk about today because I think it's the most important thing mindset and approaching that's the first step as a kind of newbie in this stuff you have to go out there you have to face rejection you have to put in the reps you have to approach you have to get your mindset right and there's no skipping that phase if you skip it you're screwed and after that the biggest mistake I see almost every guy make when it comes to just simple dating is they mess up texting they mess up the communication and they chase women and if you chase women you're gonna chase them all away so learning texting which doesn't seem like that big of a deal is actually probably the most underrated thing when it comes to dating for guys because they all fuck that up that's what I gave my speech on back in 2014 and today I want to talk about the perfect first date as I mentioned and then recently I've made a transition I went I probably have been on no exaggeration maybe 500 first dates like just a ridiculous amount of first days I did 30 dates and 30 days one time in New York City as a challenge I've been doing this for you know a really long time and I've done everything poorly fucked everything up and after just going on so many dates I got pretty sick of just this whole dynamic that happens when you go on a date because what can happen when you start in a normal dating progression is you meet a girl maybe you meet her out in the street maybe meet her in a Starbucks or whatever you get a number you take her on a date that will continue on to some sort of relationship if it goes well but I wanted to be this player fuck boy if you want to call it that I basically didn't want any sort of committed or serious relationship so I transitioned from this approaching online dating this hunting mentality into what I call a more farming mentality and I focus on building my social circle building my social media and this was all to develop social proof and the difference really here is female focused versus male focused when you're approaching when you're developing these skills when you're going out going on tons of dates it's basically you hunting females versus when you're focused on your social circle social media it's more important to develop male friendships than it is female friendships because the men that you meet and that you be friend will bring more value to your life than a woman here or there that you're just casually dating so the next step was I started dabbling into the world of club promoters model houses photographers influencers so has anyone here heard of a model house know what that is show of hands one two okay good so I want to I want to shed some light on the bullshit of the nightlife industry and kind of what's been going on behind the scenes for the past I don't know maybe ten years almost so what'll happen in a typical nightclub you'll walk into a nightclub and the first thing you'll see is a table with a ton of beautiful models one or two guys and you're like wow this place is awesome glad I came here let me spend a bunch of money at the bar or let me get another table and then you might see next to DJ another table with all these beautiful girls so those girls aren't just they're hanging out they're paid to be there and nightclubs got pretty pretty crafty while back and they started paying young broke guys to become promoters to basically wrangle beautiful models and girls living in the big cities LA New York Milan Miami and they pay them to bring the girls to the club and that way other chumps like me would walk in wow this place is great let me get a table by a bottle but I wouldn't have access to those women because they were there with the club promoters they wouldn't really leave the table and they were just kind of there for eye candy so I was thinking you know how do I access this sort of world because here's these guys that have crazy abundance while everyone else is the striking out or trying to get access to these women unsuccessfully so I met a guy in New York who was a club promoter and not only was he a club promoter but he needed a way to get the women from the club but to the club consistently because as everyone knows women are pretty flaky so you might invite 20 women out and you know maybe five show up so instead of trying to wrangle women and get them to come out at the right time he had a nifty idea I don't know if it was his idea but he started what we call mohose which is short for model house so model houses are kind of like female sorority houses for girls who move to New York and move to LA who are pursuing their modeling or acting career they want a place to stay for very cheap or free and they get that in exchange for going out to the nightclub so the promoter makes money by having the house the girls are in the house they take the girls to the club the club pays him that makes sense so it's a pretty interesting business model and at the time I was doing a side hustle by renting out short-term vacation properties on Airbnb and I had a couple extra places that I figured oh I could trade this guy for my Airbnb place let him turn into a model house and then I had access to these model tables and to hang out and drink for free and party with all these girls so at first it was it was like a dream come true I could show up to a club and not pay be hanging out at a table with you know 10 smoking hot girls but then I kept striking out with all the girls and I couldn't figure out what was going on because I was already pretty good I was crushing dates I was you know any any time I take a girl out and I'll go over how to do that in a second I was doing really well but at these model tables I was just getting completely obliterated and I didn't understand why and who was crushing it it was the other promoters photographers you guys all know these guys who are like photographers like everyone is a photographer these days and why are they a photographer typically because they want to bang and it's it's a joke because I know so many photographers and quote-unquote influencers who are just people trying to use that as a way to get laid or to you know some sort of scam deal but it was really pissing me off because all of these guys were crushing while I was failing miserably so I needed to learn to basically like everything I learned from pickup I had to drop it all because it was all counterintuitive and it and it worked opposite as high-level social circle game so I spent the next three or four years learning that getting some really good feedback from other social beasts other club promoters and essentially really weird when I look back on it kind of transitioned from a dating coach almost to a loser club promoter to understand this and the way I did that and as you can see from this picture that's it's me here is I started hosting parties and I met a guy in Kiev who had access to playboy models he was basically the owner and operator for the playboy calendar casting so he would you know cast a player calendar he would do these trips and I was like okay this guy is I met him through a friend of a friend and he was already doing these sort of trips and I thought how can I leverage my situation to come on these trips and I live in Kiev Ukraine now it's amazing it's like Warsaw but I think a little bit better but basically I figured out that if I could bring other guys to come on these trips then we could go it would subsidize my costs and it was my kind of hack to get into this world so this is me if you guys know who Liam McCrae is it's him right there looking like Jesus we started going on these crazy trips and the funny thing about about the whole thing it's it kind of went full circle so end up with these club promoters in the model houses with playboy playboy party girls from Ukraine and then other dating coaches so go figure and then I also want to talk to you guys really quickly about the circuit does anyone know what I mean by the circuit so women who are basically in this party scene they don't really have jobs right they they're like professional party model girls and they just basically travel around they go to Tulum they go to Ibiza they go to Mykonos LA New York Paris Fashion Week Film festivals and Burning Man and if you really want to go to the highest levels of social skills you know being a player living this ridiculous Hugh Hefner Daniels area type of lifestyle I would suggest checking out that circuit this is me looking extremely douchey surrounded by a bunch of girls and I have to tell you it was this experience the last two or three years has been the most ridiculous period of my life all my sexual fantasies everything on my sexual bucket list crushed all of those a million times over to the point where I'm finally kind of free from this obsessive chasing women craze and at first I thought it was healthy and I was like oh I'm a dating coach blah blah blah but actually looking back I think a little bit of it I think I took it to the extreme basically so the trade-off if you're if you want to live that that lifestyle is crazy fast fun adventurous party but physical mental financial unhealthiness so for anyone in here who is looking to you know if they see this picture and like oh I want that to be me I recommend if you maybe should try it but there is some definite you know downsides to it and you can see this meme here it says when you have a when you have a job but you're still broke as fuck I feel like I work just to pay the bills and that's really eating into my partying budget says this lovely lady here these are the type of girls in the circuit so they're not the healthiest women a lot of them are very toxic I met a ton of toxic women had some awful breakups got cucked a million times not actually cucked but you know dumped and cheated on blah blah blah but it was quite the experience so if you want to learn about the circuit there's a hilarious Instagram account to follow called super slutty snake he makes fun of this whole world and it's really important that you guys understand this world because if you want to date the most beautiful women they've probably been on the circuit or they're on the circuit now or they're really young and they're about to be on the circuit these are all your models actresses basically you know all the hottest girls in every social circle this is a life that they're basically accustomed to with sites like seeking arrangements and all these different sugar daddy things with Instagram like it's just a different world of hot women the the resources in the axis they have at a young age where they can basically just jet set all over the world hang out with you know idiots like me or guys they were just uber rich millionaires going from one party to the other on the cock carousel you know so you really have to understand that world if you want to date very beautiful women because that's your competition and you can also follow me if you want next step so I really recommend that no one skips the bachelor phase or you'll probably end up returning to it I should have done all this stuff in my late 20s but I'm 37 and I'm basically like eight or nine years behind most the other guys that were kind of doing this or there's guys who are really old and they're the sponsors of sugar daddies and no one wants to be that guy so yeah you know if you're old and you want to be that guy now that's okay no no judgment but it's it's best to not skip this because eventually you'll probably return to it out of a relationship that goes bad and she dumps you or you'll get bored of a girl and potentially return back to the single life and you'll regret it and you'll have to start over especially if you you're in a long relationship or you get divorced it sucks to do this you know again so I really recommend to you know enjoy being a bachelor and maximize it how often do you hear I wish I would have started a family earlier not a lot right did anyone hear that or am I I'm not crazy right how often does anyone hear that only for girls right now so should you aspire to the Hefner Bilzerian player status I'm just curious and I really appreciate it if everyone's honest here who does aspire to that who did who does you guys cool yeah I mean it's it's great it's not a very long-term healthy lifestyle and I bet if we got Hefner or Bilzerian to go on an interview and really you know admit about how they feel about it it'd be interesting to to get that sort of feedback from them on whether they're really happy because it is just so aggressive all right so like I said what made the biggest difference was step three developing game getting reps going on tons of dates it creates abundance it battles loneliness and it's a skill that every man should have and it's fun so I want to go through I spent a lot of time on kind of the step four stuff because it's just more relevant but I really want to dive deep into this dating protocol so you guys will have this tool to go home try it see if it works and rinse and repeat before I started using the dating protocol all my dates basically felt like I had to reinvent the wheel a big production like I had to think of what does she want to do what time should we go all the logistics when to schedule how much to spend had to deal with flakes getting catfished basically you know meeting a girl on Tinder and finding out on the date that she's 20 or 30 pounds heavier than she really is stressing to impress a girl so I don't know if anyone's experience these sort of things I'm guessing most people have but I had this anxiety to go on dates and that would really you know had a big negative impact on my dating life my self-improvement so with the dating protocol you get a foolproof plan to connect as fast as possible resulting in attraction chemistry sex and you get to choose a relationship on your terms so I'm gonna throw a ton of information that you guys now if you want to take notes great the goal is to appear casual informal spontaneous but you really have a plan or a structure that she's never gonna know about you want to keep it a surprise to her and always focus on entertaining yourself versus trying to impress her that's a big mindset shift to have when you're on a date move through the steps I'm about to share knowing that you can end at any step along the way so you can end it after step state of venue one venue two venue three so it just because this is a four step process it could take 30 minutes and you can quit after the first step and this is the most important thing that almost every guy messes up I have tons of guys who I coach you know day in and day out and they'll go on a date and I'll say how to go like oh we had a really good conversation I think she likes me and I'll say well what was the physical connection like did you guys touch what happened did you kiss oh no we were just kind of sitting at a table and it was a really good conversation though that almost never results in a second date really good conversation usually you know doesn't mean anything so it's always always always the only thing that matters is the physical connection and it dictates what you're going to do on every subsequent move so let's say you met a girl doesn't matter matter maybe you met her day gaming you met her on Tinder you met her at a party you got her number you set up a time you're now about to meet her out on a date where do you go so the first venue that I recommend is a park park is amazing it's free you can walk around talk in the park it's interactive there's always new scenery you're just cruising around and like I said I'm Jewish you don't spend any money if the if the weather is bad then and you can't do the walk-in talk in a park then I'd recommend a dive bar a wine bar a coffee shop if she doesn't drink or just as a place to chill this this first part is going to last about 20 to 30 minutes the vibe you want is relaxed comfortable chill music you're not going to obviously set the music but don't go to a place with loud crazy music you want to chill comfortable vibe and the goal is to break the ice to flirt small talk basically you want her to realize that you're just a cool normal chill guy and the physical cues that you're looking for which most girls will give if they're attracted to you is they'll be touching you a little bit and when I was studying all this dating stuff back in the day there was all this stuff around like keynote escalation and just these weird terms and like how to touch a girl and always just put me in my head and now I just don't even try to touch them I just wait for them to touch me because it's just way easier that way so if you have any crap in your head around like how do I touch her where do I touch her just don't touch her if she likes you and you're close to her if you're walking with her in a park and you crack a joke or you flirt with her she'll touch you on the arm she'll touch you on the shoulder she'll you know laugh and grab your arm when she's attracted to you and those are very solid signals that you can trust and just a silly escalation hack if you're if you haven't touched her at all and you want to move from venue one to venue two or you're just walking in the park and you want to see if she likes you when you're crossing a street just grab her hand and if she looks at you weird and be like why are you holding my hand or gives you weird look like oh what like it's dangerous to cross the street my mom told me always to hold someone's hand like why you being weird so that's an easy way to deal with that so that's venue one 20 to 30 minutes show her your normal start the date off all the small talk all the crap walk in a park is the best way if not the stuff wine bar coffee shop on to venue two and if she sucks and there's no connection and she's boring just cut the date right there venue one you're out and if you want to schedule four dates in one evening you could do back to back to back to back venue ones and wait till the next date to go on the venue to so don't waste your time if she sucks if she's not touching you if she's a bitch when you do the hand-holding thing don't go to venue two just you know you haven't wasted any money you wasted 30 minutes of your time venue two this can be done on a park bench so super fancy you're walking in the park and you go to a park bench all right it can be done in a lounge a speakeasy my favorites are hookah bars shisha bars because they well I like to smoke hookah and it's an interactive fun sort of thing as well the vibe for the second venue should be slow it should be a place it's kind of dark sexy soft music you want the vibe to be conducive to making out with her kissing her getting a little bit more physical and the goal of this venue is to build intimacy continue flirting deep in rapport almost always I will try to kiss a girl in this second venue and if I've gotten the sort of physical love from the first venue the hand-holding the arm touching it very rarely fails and if you're a really bad conversationalist as I used to be this is a really easy hack it's called the questions game you guys may have heard of that before it's basically truth or dare without the dare so everyone's played the questions game so what I'll do after walking around and taking her to a park I'll say oh let's grab a drink or let's sit on the park bench I'll go we'll sit and if I ever feel like I'm stalling in the conversation or if I want to find a way to deepen the conversation without potentially doing it in a like harsh jolty way I'll say hey have you ever played the questions game it's like truth or dare without the dare so there's four or three rules rule number one really simple I ask a question then you ask a question rule number two is all the questions have to make the other person slightly embarrassed or a little bit uncomfortable otherwise it's boring you know we don't want to ask boring yes or no questions and rule number three you have to be honest and rule number four is you have to answer whatever question you asked so it'll typically happen and and then you say all right and I'll go first don't be that guy to immediately ask what's your favorite sexual position or where is the best play ball like we all want to kind of you know get to that part and get sexual get physical like learn about that stuff if we're attracted to her but I always like to start with a more innocuous question like hmm what's the what what's the experience that you had where you got in the most trouble you know if she's been arrested maybe she'll tell you about that you can share any crazy arrest stories where you're kicking people's ass in jail you know make you look super alpha all that nonsense and throughout that game it's a great way to just deep in rapport enjoy most likely she'll bring up a sexual related question if you you should really hold off on that to like the third or fourth question and I know I'm getting kind of detailed on that but it's just so much better if she asked you a sexual question first because that's another huge signal that she's interested if she asked that first and then you can feel pretty comfortable moving it for a kiss later on so that's venue two venue three once you've kissed her you move on to venue three if you haven't kissed her do not move on to venue three because if you move on to venue three you'll just probably end up in the friend zone if you haven't kissed her and the date's going you know longer than you expected or if you haven't kissed her and you know it's getting to the point where you know you should move then end the date there and I'll tell you guys what to do later about going back to it but like I said you should almost always try to kiss her it's a total waste of time if you don't so once you've kissed her the point of venue three is to create a couple's sort of experience because couples have sex right and an important part of this of this whole thing is the faster you get sex out of the way in a relationship the faster you can understand if you like the person the faster you know how good the connection is I'm not saying you always have to speed through sex in actuality you you want to it's really important that you don't push for sex very fast but in general I'm saying the faster sex happens is better you know going out with a girl five six seven times without sex can be really frustrating and you might end up in a monogamous relationship you never wanted to be in just because you wanted to you know I spent all this time I went on five dates with this girl oh my god I have to sleep with her if I don't I'm this or that of the other so you want to eliminate that from your from your head but coming back so venue three is something you can do to be playful juvenile have fun be silly be kids together because what that does is it creates a couple's experience and a couple's dynamic and it really allows you guys to bond on a deeper level arcades are the ultimate place for this any place that has ski ball pool you know all those stupid games big buck hunter those are great and another one rock climbing very physical you get a workout in usually get a nice view as well and other activities basically any activity is great for a third venue however if you're trying to move through the dating protocol in one evening best is to do a park a park bench or a park and a hookah bar followed by an arcade so I developed this when I was living in New York and going on all these dates and the arcade place I would go to was in like the same block as the other two bars so it was this bar bar arcade move through this dating protocol very quickly and physical cues you're gonna touch her like a couple right you've already made out with her you've kind of crossed that imaginary threshold where you know do we like each other the answer to that is did you make out with her did you kiss her the answer is yes and yes she likes you the case out of the bag and if you want just a fun way another silly little escalation hack is betting on a game of pool or betting on one of the silly arcade games or something during the activity and the winner gets spanked or the winner has to go in the bathroom and I don't know use your imagination venue for anywhere you can buck pretty obvious the vibe chill sexy the goal have a great sex enjoy the connection physical cues the escalation hack this one's kind of silly so typically I would you know go to this arcade we'd be making out having fun and then I'd be like all right let's go we jump in a cab or an uber I would you know just put the address of my place in and the cab would just start driving sometimes the girl would say nothing and she was like okay guess we're going home and hook up cool sometimes she'd be like where are we going and I would just say my place and if she gave me a weird look I'd be like don't worry I'll be an 86% gentleman and anyone know what that means really it has no meaning exactly it basically means you know don't worry about it and you really should be an 86% gentlemen which means don't be pushy don't rush it also you can you never want to give make a girl responsible for going back to have sex because it can trigger all of the sort of crap in our society especially in the US and Western society about being a slut or being this or being that so I'll always use the 86% gentlemen thing or I'll say oh yeah we're going back to you know you can you can meet my dog and sometimes you know she'll arrive and she'll be like where's your dog oh he died I forgot cuz she's not actually going back to meet your dog or any dog or your goldfish or you can like I had a lot of fun just making up the most ridiculous shit possible I was in Australia and I said oh I really need your opinion on this shirt I got oh okay it's crazy when you get back to your place the best thing to have as I mentioned earlier is a hookah shisha it's just such a great little fun thing to do if she doesn't drink then you know she can still smoke they say it's not so healthy for you but I don't know it's a yeah so get a shisha it's like the easiest thing to do cost 20 bucks following up the next day it doesn't matter if you had sex you didn't have sex whatever if you want to see her again this is just the easiest standard text so I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to text you to say that I had a good time last night no but I really did and the beauty of this text is you know you're saying that you had a good time you're acknowledging the fact that you enjoyed you're kind of teasing her a little bit and you'll have a pretty good general idea of her interest in you based on her response to this alright so second third fourth fifth dates if you ended the first date at your house or a hotel or any venue where you can hook up whether or not you actually had sex or not you know don't be pushy don't you know just because you got her back to your house doesn't mean you're gonna have sex you know and don't be that guy because if you push too hard you'll never see her again if you know she obviously likes you if she's made out with you she's going back to your house she likes you if she doesn't have sex with that night she'll probably have sex with you the next time or the time after that but if you push really to if you push hard and you try to make it happen then odds are you'll never have sex with her and who knows that's a terrible fumble on the one-yard line so don't be don't do that if you ended the first date on venue four start on venue three if you ended the first date on venue three start on venue two if you ended on venue two start on venue one and if you ended the first date on venue one start on venue one again so you always want to kind of back up one level and to re-engage reinitiate that physical connection that you had before because I see so often guys will they'll make out with the girl at the end of a date and then they'll immediately go to the next stage in the in the protocol which would be a couple's experience the next time they hang out but maybe they they don't have that same chemistry and that same connection that they had in the first date because a week has gone by or whatever happened life got involved then they do this couple's experience but it's not really a couple's experience because there's no physical vibe and then the whole date just kind of crumbles and she says oh sorry I didn't feel the vibe so you you won't have to deal with that if you backtrack to the venue previously and if more than a week has passed in between dates then it's very important just to start from the very beginning scheduling the weaker the physical connection the faster you want to schedule the next date ideally two to three days later you know if you simply went out with her on the first venue and that was it you'd want to schedule the next date two or three days later it feels a Thursday night try to see her on a Sunday or a Monday because if too much time passes that connection will fizzle and if it's a very strong connection if you hooked up you could wait seven to ten days to see her again and the reason for doing that is to signal that you're not looking for anything serious if you want to stay casual I'll get into more of that in a second all also I like to avoid weekends because if you try to see a girl on the weekend immediately you're giving off more you know serious relationship type of vibes and also kind of shows that you don't have a social circle and you don't have a life you should be going out with your friends going to meet more women having fun doing things for yourself rather than going on dates on Friday and Saturday nights setting expectations after sex so you have to ask yourself what do you want you know if you're looking for a serious long-term monogamous relationship you can run through this and keep seeing her and that's likely what will tend to happen in the western world under the traditional dating standard narrative with that we have if you don't want that don't ever get into relationship just because you want sex and it's always better to take things slow so I like to if I'm seeing a girl in the beginning for the first time just getting to know her hooking up with her casually I never see her more than once a week because like I said it'll give off the vibe that you want something more committed you want something more long-term a quote I heard a long time ago from a mentor of mine who says if you're seeing a girl more than once per week you're in love with her or she's and she's your girlfriend and it doesn't matter if you tell her baby I told you I'm single you know I'm a player I'm this I'm that if you're seeing her more than once a week she's going to think you're in love with her or she'll think you want something more serious almost all the time so let your actions do the talking more than your words players versus fuckboys does anyone know the difference between a player and a fuckboy basically a player is someone who's dishonest and they're lying manipulating using girls for example and a fuckboy is just a guy who fucks a lot and he's an idiot but whatever he's just a horny guy who likes to fuck so it's actually better to be a fuckboy than a player and girls love fuckboys they'll keep fucking fuckboys if they think you're a player they'll probably stop fucking you because I feel like you fuck them over so that's an internal mindset to have and when you're when you're basically when you're too much in this like I described this so if you're a fuckboy and you have that mentality you're going to avoid tons of drama right so the way to deal with running through this dating protocol and still remaining single is and not having to deal with women you know breaking their hearts wanting to be with you long term blah blah blah is you you turn this into kind of a hybrid date slash invite them out to hang out with you and your friends I'll explain that so let's say you meet a girl you're already you already have a good social circle you're partying you're kind of living this you know next stage that I talked about in my progression do you want to take her on a date well probably not so what you do is very simple just to get to know her you meet her for 30 minutes for venue one you end the date there and the next time you want to see her you wait till you're doing something social maybe that's a party you're throwing or maybe you're going out with some friends to some other party or nightclub and you invite her with a friend what'll happen when you do that is she'll show up she'll meet your friends she'll also see that you're a I don't want to say you're a fuckboy that could be the the wrong interpretation for people out there listening I'm not a fuckboy but she'll see that you're not looking for anything serious and that's very important because then she'll know like okay this guy is obviously very social probably hooks up a lot if she's beautiful and sexy blah blah blah she probably does too so it will be a very comfortable environment for her to go out she might even hook up with your friends which is okay because you can hook up with her friends and later on eventually I like to say if you're living this sort of social social circle circuit lifestyle you'll hook up with everyone in the end of the day and that was interesting phenomenon I had a friend say that to me a long time ago he's like eventually I hook up with all of them and I'm like how what do you mean how does that work and then I learned that the reason why is because you're providing so much social proof and so much value in your social circle you're never chasing girls you're never trying to take girls on you know crazy dates that all of them are like okay this guy clearly has other women in his life he's cool he's not super into me or chasing me huh I should hook up with him too like everyone else makes sense so that's how to essentially be a player that's honest how to be a fuckboy and be ridiculous and live this lifestyle if that's what you want so these are just some mistakes I'll run through a huge mistake that I'll see you guys make is I'm asking out on for a specific date so you're texting with a girl and you message her hey are you free on Thursday and she responds no I'm busy then you have to say oh what about Sunday immediately puts you into chase mode so never ask a girl out for a specific day always say hey when are you free or hey how's your schedule next week next letting her pick the venue if you let her pick the venue you can't do any of this right all of your planning will be for not the most important part of this protocol is you have a plan you have a structure to follow it allows you to enjoy yourself and not stress over what you're gonna do where we're gonna take her what you're gonna order blah blah blah and if she tries to pick the venue and she's and she's not she like won't waver on that reschedule if needed better reschedule than to let her do that scheduling the date for too early if she wants to go out before 8 o'clock then she's probably going to be expecting dinner and dinner is not part of this dinner is stiff it's boring or it can be boring trying to make a connection and talk with a mouthful of food is never fun I really like to enjoy my food so I like to eat without talking a lot of the time so I just find that when I'm on a date and I'm eating at the same time it just sucks so avoid food until later maybe like a venue 3 if you've already connected with her and it's a couple of sort of experience so always try to schedule your dates for 8 30 or after if she can only meet early then just meet for coffee for 30 minutes and and leave and schedule the next date on an evening when she's free driving so this is a huge one especially if you live in the US in a big kind of sprawling city somewhere like Orlando LA what you'll have is you'll you know she'll live 30 45 minutes away and she'll want to meet at a place in the middle and that sucks because now you're driving she's driving you guys can't drink or someone might drink and then they risk a DUI which is completely insane so just eliminate this totally by offering to send her an Uber and you might be thinking oh it's expensive to send a girl an Uber might be 20 bucks for to Uber her to the venue you might have to take a lift because your Uber is busy and that might be another 20 bucks but you'll save that money and not going for dinner not going on other stupid expensive dates because this stuff basically is free costs almost nothing so you'll save that money in the long run and the faster you get sex out of the way the faster you can go on Netflix and chill dates which don't cost anything at all so save it really don't drive always use Uber pushing her to drink some girls like to drink if she shows up and she starts drinking beer or whiskey as they say she's probably frisky I never try to push a girl to drink I'll order a drink and I'll ask her what she wants if she doesn't want to drink that's fine especially in Ukraine a lot of the girls like to drink juice doesn't mean they won't hook up just they like to drink juice reacting to flakes girls flake the hotter they are usually the more they flake because they just have more opportunities and it's cost them almost nothing to flake they know that you'll probably be okay with scheduling again so be completely non-reactive she flakes say okay cool if she flakes and doesn't even message you just no shows don't ever talk to her again that's just rude as fuck but if she flakes just say okay cool and wait for her to schedule the next date because if you get try to schedule it now you're in chase mode so it's okay if she flakes just say cool and you're not going to contact her again eventually she'll hit you up because you're the guy who didn't chase her it might be three months might be six months she might start dating another guy in between and come back to you and then if you hear from her three or six months later you know she was thinking about you all that time or at least had you in the back of her mind so it'll even be more powerful if she comes back and gets in touch with you later conversation booby traps this one should be pretty obvious do not discuss politics do not discuss religion unless you really want to talk block yourself those are okay discussions for after you've had sex and if you want to see if maybe they're a potential for some sort of other you know longer term relationship and you want to make sure your values align but it's just not ever a good conversation even if you have the same ideologies and even if you're the same religion discussing that stuff is just not sexy it's not fun and you think you're making a connection but you're really killing the physical connection which matters the most like you don't talk about politics and have her like you know start caressing you very often it's just I don't know of course there's situations that their exceptions to the rule not many having a dirty place I can't tell you how many guys make this mistake you know they'll schedule a date they'll run through the dating protocol they'll bring her back and they'll be like shit my place is dirty and she comes over and you look like a frat boy or a disgusting pig and the whole thing is ruined because you were lazy you didn't clean up your place so it's a great excuse to always have a clean place yeah and what most importantly for your place for it to be clean focus on the kitchen and the bathroom if you have roommates you might be like oh I'm just gonna ignore those areas because my roommates are dirty and slobs but I'll keep my bedroom really clean because you know if I bring a girl over she's obviously gonna come in the bedroom well think again she's gonna come over if you have a dirty kitchen or dirty bathroom she's probably gonna use your bathroom she's gonna think you're a slob she's gonna think you're gross it's not gonna turn her on it's gonna turn her off and she's never gonna make it to the bedroom and in fact I prefer to try to hook up on the couch or on the kitchen table or somewhere totally unexpected you know because she's expecting you to like try to take her into the bedroom and the less that the more you kind of throw her for a curveball the more she'll be like oh wow this guy's super smooth this is this is interesting this is cool different don't have a dirty place and lastly not following the data dating protocol follow it it works it makes sense if you try to change or do something on the fly or say oh no this girl's different I shouldn't follow it for this reason or that reason I I created this thing and I've even screwed that up many many times and always I kick myself what what's wrong with you why didn't you follow your own stupid dating protocol idiot that's the reason that most dates fail is because you screwed something up in this and if you look back on all of your successful dates I'm guessing they kind of followed a very similar structure it's not like I just made this up this is reverse engineered from not just my experience but hundreds of other guys that are very very successful next steps I would recommend getting maximum reps going on so many dates that you either find an awesome girl or you build a you know harem of girls if that's what you want or you switch to the social circle thing I talked about throughout the speech if you really want to enjoy life as a single guy travel around hook up have fun meet really interesting other other guys like that's probably the best part of all this is the friends I've made traveling around and hanging out with beautiful women because those guys are always interesting they're usually in really good shape have really successful businesses and careers and the networking and the payoff of meeting these guys is totally life-changing meeting one amazing guy can radically change your life you know meeting a hot girl and hooking up with her is fun but it's not typically something that's gonna last so get maximum reps in switch to the social circle stuff if you want to learn the social circle stuff I was talking about and dive deeper into that I have a course called leverage you can check it out there on my site and if you guys want to download this speech and a longer version of the dating protocol with some different examples and stuff like that it's free just download at interconfidence.com slash 21 that's it I've got three questions but I'll try to get one yeah all right so so pertaining to the venue yeah situation so in my experience I don't really have time I find to progress on to venues three and four so my model has been very similar to yours in the sense that you know one two and then that's where proximity comes into importance where I always make sure that venue two it's close to where you're gonna bang her basically right so apartment hotel Airbnb whatever like do you do that does that factor into yeah the closer the better right like obviously you save on Ubers shorter time walking I mean the my favorite is walk in a park sit on a park bench find a little silly arcade or a hookah bar right by my house and then straight up so proximity that's closer the better for sure that's my one question thanks one more one more okay yeah so have you noticed a real dichotomy between night game and day game these days because I have because you know getting a girl's number and you know following up that later is okay for day game but it seems to me like especially in the last five years or so night game especially with you know if the girls like a six or a higher you pretty much need that same night lay to get any sort of traction on her and follow up so you know it's it's not like in the past where you get the the contact info at a club or at night and then follow up later nowadays I find if you do that eight out of ten times you're not gonna get any response from her especially if she's six and above she's got so many other options guys blown up her whatever yeah on the circuit yeah exactly she's on the cc right so if have you noticed that yourself night game like it's almost imperative nowadays to get that same night lay yeah I have noticed that and in different different cultures different cities that's even more of a factor like especially in northern Europe where you know a girl will go home and fuck you before she'll hold your hand you know depending on the culture the the physical escalation the connection can be radically different like you guys have ever been to Iceland Sweden like it's it's you know casual sex just not a big deal at all so yeah and you can actually run through this in a bar or a club you can kind of do the same thing if you just think about the no you meet her at the table you're at the bar you move her around you go somewhere a little bit more intimate you make out you bring her back to the table or you cruise around you make fun of other people that's like the couple's experience you go outside for a smoke go people watching and then you bounce to another club or you bounce to your house so it's you can do this all you know in one venue if you're creative enough about it it's especially in Western societies like the Anglosphere that is a huge cock walk I mean at least for myself I find that you know every time I've tried to hold a girl's hand during like the first day or even second day they interpret that as a sign of weakness so I've gotten to the sex without holding the hand a lot more often than you know had I held the hand and cock block myself yeah I'm glad you brought that up because I there was something I wanted to add to that so when I do the handhold thing like the silly example on the street I'm not looking to hold her hand the whole time I'm only looking to test to see if she'll hold my hand or if she's like weirded out by it and there's some cultures where I won't do it at all like if I'm in Sweden or Iceland because handholding for them is more intimate than sex so that's not every girl obviously but be careful about that and it's more of an attraction test than like hold her hand and try to be you know cute boyfriend girlfriend it's more about getting seeing if she likes you and touching a lot so thanks hey man thank you so much for the presentation and sharing the knowledge I want to ask you about farming when you like the way you put it like when you're bonding with other men and you're socializing and you're you're getting to know other guys out there during the night and in my head I have this like moment when I'm like socializing with the with guys getting to know someone sharing some knowledge and then there's this hot chick right there and I'm like most of the times I'll feel inclined to like oh so like wait a second let me run to her and like talk to her right so well in your perspective what would be a mindset that you would suggest in these situations well the beauty of farming and social circle is your your mindset your goal is to always provide maximum value so I never show up to a party without either things to help people you know get more drunk or girls right you never want to come empty-handed and that way I'm always invited back I'm always loved by the guys like if you show up to a party with three girls you're always going to get invited back and every guy is going to want to meet you if you show up to the party with a ton of booze it's not as good but you'll still get invited back right and what I'll find is the more I bond with the guys especially if they're you know other guys who brought other girls or you know high status cool guys is I can ignore the girls and just talk to him and the more I ignore the girls the more they come to me in the end the more that the more they vie for your attention also because I'm only going to parties and events where the ratio is hugely stacked in my favor as you guys saw in that picture there was six of us on that boat and 20 girls so when the like when you get into these high-level social status social circle games or social circle communities the ratio is always great because you're weeding out guys that don't have girls and that creates a really competitive environment for the girls where they're always chasing you and it completely changes everything because now instead of like worrying about going to talk to this girl you're just hanging out talking to your buddy and at the end of the night you're like okay maybe I'll take you three let's go have an orgy I mean it sounds crazy but it's really it's it's very very common and normal for the people hanging out in these sorts of environments great probably got time for one more anyone else you you got another okay anyone else all right let's give it up for Robbie Kramer