 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic Watch this before you use a dating app or before you use a dating app Watch this really quickly. If you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button hit the bell So you can be notified of new content These are actually my weekend videos that I shoot out on my balcony that are very similar to the videos that I Shoot in my private group called midlife love mastery check out the link below In the description so you see if you'd like to join our group and you can have direct access to me on a regular Basis through a private Facebook group and a once a month webinar. All right, we're going to talk about dating apps for a second because Let's just get real Dating is a cluster F. Okay. I'm saying a cluster F. I didn't say the F word F exclam asterisk, if you will you seek a hair CK And and part of it is because you know human beings are no longer meeting in the same venues that we did You know throughout history. We met in villages. We met in tribes. We met in towns We met at work and now not just because of the pandemic because of all facets of life We are not exposed to single eligible people on a regular basis And this is where this little device came in and revolutionized the opportunity to meet people The challenge is though that most people are hung up on where do I meet quality men? Where do I meet quality women? Where do I meet these people? Okay, so think about this for a second Where do you meet people first you have to be seen by single eligible people think about that for a second You have to be seen by someone Okay, and they have to know that you're single and eligible and as we age We're no longer in an environment like we were in high school or college or in our 20s Where we're surrounded by single eligible people This is why dating apps have just exploded because it gives you access to more people than ever before And here's the real challenge now. We have access to all these people. How do we filter these people? That's the real question How do we filter people to determine if they share our values if we have blendable lifestyles if we have if they are Emotionally mature and then chemistry Chemistry right and Instantly enough we can actually improve the opportunity to create chemistry by actually putting together Quality photographs and I can tell you as a man and I know many of you women feel the same way You're frustrated as hell because most of the photographs from men and women alike are just crap And so we can't even tell whether or not we're going to be attracted to them on a first date And then there's and then there's the chance of where one photograph is great And then you see three others that are mediocre and you're like well, which person is this? So these are some of the challenges with the dating apps, but here's the even deeper challenge is It's very difficult to communicate with our thumbs. It's very we weren't human beings weren't designed to communicate with their thumbs. Oh The mug says let that shit go let that shit go and what does the t-shirt say? I wonder if you can guess what the t-shirt is It's Willy Wonka All right, so It's very difficult to communicate with our thumbs human beings weren't designed to communicate with our thumbs In fact, we weren't even designed to communicate via zoom or video and whatnot We were designed to communicate face-to-face. In fact, 80 90 percent of all communication is non-verbal. It's our our body language It's our pheromones. It's our eyebrows moving. It's our ears twitching if those happen I don't think my ears twitch But we weren't designed to do this so absolutely dating is very frustrating, but it's not dating that's frustrating It's how do it's the meeting process that's frustrating when I don't mean physically meeting the first time I'm talking about meeting them to create the connection And then what makes it even more frustrating is we swipe and we swipe and then there's more after more after more after more And so I guess the real question I'm bringing up today is how do we overcome this? How do we solve this? We solve this by actually first building the relationship with ourselves Before you ever go on a dating app build a healthy happy relationship with yourself This is why I wrote my book called what the heck is self-love anyway what the heck is self-love anyway It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work to shore up our inside Because the dating process the process of meeting through the internet is an absolute pain in the butt And this is why I'm such a big proponent of reading this book if you haven't read it yet called if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated I highly recommend reading this book it allows you to explore Relationships from a spiritual perspective when I mean by spiritual perspective I mean from a heart-centered Higher self so you can tap into your intuition and why this is so critically important is We're not gonna gonna get around the fact that the internet is the way most people are meeting in fact 50% of all new relationships for people over 45 years old is happening through an online connection Now that's anecdotal and I will I encourage you ask any of your friends who've gotten in a relationship in the last few years Ask them where they met and I bet you have one out of two times. It's going to be the internet So why is it important to read these books before you do online dating? Why is this so critically important because when you shore up your self-worth your self-esteem your self-confidence? You're not going to be bogged down by the crap that Craps of not a fair judgment the The challenge of so many different swipes with and here's the real kicker You'll begin to develop your intuition if you're not familiar with Malcolm Gladwell's book blink It's learning how to parse things so you can actually learn to develop your intuition on the inside So you can be able to tell if someone's actually a good candidate and that's what I want you to lean into So much more is developing your intuition So you can actually feel into whether or not someone's a good candidate for you or not Because we dismiss good people all the time and then we go after people that are misaligned for us All the time I've done it you've done it We've all done it and I'm here to say the most important relationship You're ever going to have is the relationship with yourself because the quality of your relationships in your life Determine the quality of your life. That's Esther Perrell and I want to encourage you with this video is yes Dating apps are not going in a way going away, and there's still one of the best places to meet new people How do we overcome the frustration piece by building and shoring up our Insides so we can actually invite a great person into our lives, and that's my invitation with this video today Is this sinking in is this resonating? I hope it is Look it I get it I'm I'm frustrated with the process to a lot of you asked Jonathan. Why are you single? Well? I work from home Here's my home. I'm looking out at the ocean right now No women are walking up to my house and saying Jonathan. I'd like to go out with you I'd like to know if you're interested in going out. This isn't happening for me, and I suspect it's not happening for you How do we connect with people and and and sadly because the pandemic we can't go out and meet people? That's going to change actually rather quickly Online is how we're connecting with people and I want to encourage you to get better at the process And if you need some support at that check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with The coach is right for you. My expertise is to help you learn how to vet for emotionally mature men that are ready Capable and willing to be in a relationship for the versus those that are so wounded that they're incapable to either Receive love or give love beyond the first initial. Let's get you know, let's connect and have sex Okay, men are great at let's connect and have sex women are great at that too. How do we go deeper? And that's my invitation how to spot those men because when you get better at spotting those guys You're gonna have a much better experience. Is that sinking in? I hope so Alright, if you have some thoughts, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear them as always I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. Excuse me first off giving myself a big gigantic John the bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow and give it or them a hug of love I just spit Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now