 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com. And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, men are like dogs. They're like dogs. And they require training. And I know you don't like this, but they require training. See a little puppy dog? All right. If after this video, this content resonates with you and you're a single woman looking for love, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. That call is with me. All right, men are like dogs. They need training. OK, right off the bat, I know you're not going to like this video. You don't even like the idea of it because most of you are looking for that 10% or that unique guy who's out there that's already fully trained and he shows up in relationship, very emotionally mature, very intentional, very chivalrous, and demonstrative. OK, I know that's what you want. Let's look at men in the reality here and why a little bit of training goes a long way for helping you establish the relationship you want. So let's just start from this premise. Just hold with me here. Just stick with me, OK? First off, I want you to see this little chart I've created. And literally there's this half and this half and this represents men. Now in this box, these are men who are emotionally stifled. These are people with clinical issues that makes it very difficult for them to be in relationship. And on the flip side is this 10 and you see this 10 and 10. This represents percentage. And this represents men who fully know what they want. They're the men we talked about. They are the Prince Charmings, the guys you want. And the most everybody are in here. Now, here's the unique part. People with clinical issues, about 10% of them are in relationships. And trust me, they're in dysfunctional relationships. And that other 10% represents not in relationship. Then there's this 10% fully know what they want. They're in relationship. Then there's another 10%. Guys like me, fully emotionally available, emotionally mature, know what they want, but they're not in relationship. Now, here's the tricky part. Most of the time, you're all dating in this category. Because by the way, just like this represents men, this represents women as well. Now, just bear with me a little bit longer. These are people in this category, they just don't make good partners. They're emotionally immature. They lack intentionality. They lack direction. They're wounded. Most likely childhood and women's and traumas that have been unhealed. Then there's this other category that they're literally working on themselves, like I did. They're in the tunnel. Now, this is where the vast majority, you're either dating in this pool or this pool. What we're talking about is this pool right now. Now, you might go, Jonathan, how do I meet that pool? Hey, that's my area of expertise. Again, if you're single looking for love, check out the discovery call with me. So why do men need training? Well, it's really more, it's not so much training, it's more about you establishing your standards. If you watched my video recently on boundaries, setting your standard starts, that's how you train a guy by starting with your standard. Standard is what are you seeking in relationship? And if the man doesn't know what your standard is, then you're gonna have to train him on it. Or first, you're gonna have to figure it out for yourself, which I can tell you as a coach, so many of you have no effing clue what you want. And I see this time and time again. And you all go, yeah, Jonathan, I do know what you want. Yeah, ladies, you know it at the 40,000 foot level, but not at the ground level. And if you want support on that, again, schedule a call with me, that's my area of expertise. But what's most important after you've set your standard is establish the rules by what this relationship looks like and hence why you're training a guy. You're training them like a dog. And one of the best ways to establish the rules in the relationship is both buying a book called Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman and Julie Gottman. Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman and Julie Gottman. There's a link below to all my recommended books. This is the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship. This is how you train a guy by introducing him to what it takes to be in a healthy happy relationship with you. And if you're not doing this, you're setting yourself up because most men are effing clueless. If you watch one of my recent videos, I showed you the chart about, you see this chart here? It says child, adult, parent. Most men and women are operating in their emotional childhood. They're emotionally stunted. Men and women alike. So this is why you have to move into, slightly the parent role for a little bit to get them into the adult role. And you want to be in the adult role as well. Now I know you can't stand this. I know the idea of training a guy, it goes against everything. Look, I know you're shooting for that 10%er. Just remember, 10% of the 20%er, I should say. 10% of them are already in relationship. And then the guys like me, we're seeking that 10%er ourselves. And in a sea of dysfunctional people, sometimes it's just hard to see them. It's one of the reasons why what I mean by training, I literally mean introducing the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship before the penis ever gets to go inside the vagina. Okay, there, I said it. I said it, I said it. Before you begin an intimate relationship with someone, understand the mechanics for yourself and then introduce it to the other person. Because without it, you just look at the vast majority. Think of how many people are going out on a first date tonight, or a second date tonight, or a third date tonight. And it's never gonna go anywhere. We have so many people going out on date, after date, after date, after date. Some people are going out on 52 dates a year. Oh my God, that's exhausting emotionally, as well as physically. And it's emotionally, it's exhausting here, which can affect our hearts. This is why become a grownup before you ever begin dating and you're gonna have a greater chance for success. So can you see where I'm going with this? Is this resonating with you? Please post a comment. I wanna hear your thoughts on this. I'm hoping this is sinking in. And if you need some additional support, then check out my book, What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway? Because if you're struggling, chances are there's a lack of self-love going on inside. And this is a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work on the inside. And those who know me know this book was birthed after the loss of my 19-year-old son a couple years ago. And I just decided to do a deep dive on what it means to love. And I want you to do the same. In honor of Connor, I encourage you to begin, oops, begin a deep dive of self-love for yourself. So you don't have to be the dog trainer. I hope you like my little prop here. All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going here. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off, giving myself a big, gigantic Jotland Bear hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a pillow or even my little teddy bear here and give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Saying bye-bye now, bye-bye.