How to take ownership of your own emotions? How to behave with others by understanding their emotions? Those who have mastered this art sustain success and prove to be good leaders.
Where are emotions felt? Man wants to think more than feel. But where are emotions like - anger, depression, anxiety, joy, guilt, embarrassment, excitement, lust, hatred, fear, jealousy, loathing, etc. felt? Observe them in such a way that they are released. But often they form a knot in the body. Here's an analogy to understand how they are released.
There is a temple lined with flower stalls. Tumnesh a flower vendor is unhappy because his flowers don't sell as well as others. He goes to his Guru with his problem and the Guru advises him "Do not take the act of selling flowers as a job. Take it as a creative game." The temple here is your body, Tumnesh is you, and the customers who come and go are emotions. To play the game he was to use a new tag line everyday. Instead of the normal "buy my flowers." He says, "Buy a new fragrance today." Today's sale was better than before. Next day he says, "Bouquet at lesser rate". As a game he begins to enjoy it. Earlier his health was affected when less people turned up. But now his health improved as he played the game freely and more people came to his stall.
In the third scene, the crowd grew too much for him handle it. Few even cheated him as he could not carefully attend to each. Emotions had increased. This time his Guru told him to employ 3 helpers - Sumer, Suman and Sanju. Sumer stood for understanding, Suman for equanimity and Sanju stood for alertness. When a new customer arrives the helper reminds Tumnesh, "Sir, the season is on. Is the oxygen is on?" season is the surfacing of the emotion. Oxygen is a reminder to breathe. It tells you, you are alive - the feeling of being alive. People make the mistake of holding their breath and listening to bad news till they have heard the entire news. So the emotion forms a knot instead and takes root in your body. Emotions have come to make you rich and not to loot you.
Give flowers according to the emotion. Give a lotus to the one with dirt on his face...a sunflower to the one who's face is dull... a rose to those who are happy. Now each will enter the temple, offer the flower and surrender.
Remember that emotion is transient. People suffer and behave as if it will last forever.
5 ways of dealing with emotions: 1) Straightforward Talkers. The speak what they feel, but hurt others and relationships become unhealthy. 2) Stress-inward people. They suppress emotions within and their body becomes unhealthy. One shows anger outside to actually hide helplessness and weakness inside. The father shouts down a request from a child for a new bag and the child retreats silently. But behind the anger was helplessness of limited budget. It hurts and embarrasses to show helplessness. People prefer anger. Anger is not seen as a weakness but as power. But tell yourself the truth. When you decide to be honest with at-least your family you will start attaining good health.
The third method is to look for a responsible authority to speak to about your emotions. If a person filled with guilt hasn't spoken about his deed to anyone, this guilt is going to spread rot within. Guilt has power only till it is closed. Once opened, its power ends. And so it is for all suppressed emotions. The responsible authority could be any one from your brother, sister, father or the church father. The only risk is if the authority to whom you confess is not deserving, then (s)he could take advantage of your secret. So choose carefully or release it somehow into the universe by may be writing it on a piece of paper and burning it.
In the fourth method - "Lose the fear of losing." People are filled with insecurities of losing something or the other. The whole world is after securing their bank balance to lose their fear of losing their possessions. But you are most secure at your own Bright Center - 'Tejasthan'. In a jungle full of sounds - the crawling snake, the tiger, etc. a flash of light reveals you are in a glass dome. Attend retreats, read books or practice meditation to know this center.
The fifth method is that of Sadhana... practice... Whatever emotions emerge, feel fully and face them. Go step by step. Do not take on a large emotion to start with. Remember - 'Feeling is not failure.' Feel fully and face it till the melting point of the emotion begins. Once the melting point is attained, the emotion disappears by itself.
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