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  • Friar in The Booth - Chris Turner (Fire in the Booth Parody)

    3,223 views 1 year ago
    MC Friar Tuck drops by Charlie Sloth's 1Xtra studios to drop some BARS FROM HEAVEN.

    Chris Turner - Lyrics and Performance
    Dru Wakely - Music, Recording, Camera and Editing

    Lyrics:

    Yeah, yeah, yeah…this is Friar in the Booth. Rhymes so hot you need a friar extinguisher! Fighting friar with friar! Out of the frying pan into the friar! It's a baptism of friar! Yes - this will be mainly friar puns!

    Friar in the hole…y house of the Lord//I’m a mendicant meanderer and heaven’s my reward
    Not an old bald man gone n’ grown mature//shorn a keratin rim that i call my tonsure!
    Order Dominican but not from the Republic//got a big belly and you know I like to rub it
    Dominic, he the patron saint of astronomers//pretty fittin’ cuz you be looking at a star!

    Uptown monk, downtown abbey//My other clothes are robes and they lookin’ pretty shabby
    Don’t smother monks in satin when the laypeople suffer//if you know your latin you can call me a brother
    I’m clever, girl - jurassic park classic in a cassock//put you in a casket have your pastor kneeling praying on a hassock
    Your life: pathetic - my lifestyle ascetic//you been prayin’ for your paradise, i just go and get it

    Sounds silly but this is friar in the booth//if i wasn’t celibate i’d be sirin’ the youth
    It’s absurd all these urges but i never tell the abbot//I heard they all virgins but i get em out of the habit
    In summary get me to a nunnery, alleviate the drudgery and rummage in their shrubbery
    Mother superior, my motives ulterior//num num on a plump nun with another superb rear!

    So let me see you lose your head like you be John the Baptist//Bishops got a lotta hi hats, s’why I call ‘em trappists.
    Unless the brothers taken yet another vow of silence//make some Friar-Tucking noise for St Thomas Acquinas!

    Henry VIII - suck my Saint Benedict… Show less
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  • 100% Freestyle with Chris Turner Play all

    Blisteringly quick, bitesized freestyle rap challenges, set by people from all walks of life.

    100% Freestyle is your quick-fire dose of jaw-dropping improvised hip-hop, conjured up by one of the nimblest minds in freestyle rap. Each episode sees award-winning comedian and Edinburgh Fringe stalwart Chris Turner challenged by a member of the public to rap about any three words or topics that they can think of - no matter how difficult, niche, or unrhyme-able! In just a few minutes, we meet the individual, learn a fact or two about them, and as soon as the challenge is set, Chris weaves a whirlwind of words to knit them all together, leaving his guest crying with laughter, staring dumbstruck, or just plain confused.

    100% Freestyle - fast, fresh and funny raps that will have you questioning how one man’s brain can work so quickly.

    If you'd like your beats to be featured in upcoming episodes of the series (with credit and links) then please get in touch here: http://www.christurnercomedy.com/100percentfreestyle
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  • Chris Turner - Freestyle Rap Play all

    A collection of completely improvised freestyles. #PrettyFly
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  • Chris Turner - One Liner Stand up Play all

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