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Only Ed and The Almost
  • Ringtone Retard

    1,415 views 5 years ago
    "Ringtone Retard" is one of the tracks on the third Only Ed and The Almost album, NANO MAN. Soundtrack and lyrics ©2006 by Only Ed and The Almost. All rights reserved. Grab a copy right now at iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us......

    RINGTONE RETARD
    A latte in one hand, your mobile in the other,
    you drift into traffic, you disconnect your mother.
    You text-message Suzy as you flip through the frequencies.
    Your system is pounding as you rack up delinquencies.

    You're a ringtone retard. I feel for you.
    It must be hard to be so without a clue.
    You're such a dope. But try to cope.
    Your ringtone may deliver some hope.

    Dinner, movie, work, play, the glowing display beckons,
    illuminates the hours of your life, it counts the seconds.
    You don't dare turn it off, the silence terrifying --
    Ricky, Bobby, Lou, one of them might be trying to
    reach the ringtone retard.

    I feel your pain. It must be hard
    being born without a brain.
    I feel for you. Oh don't be blue.
    Your ringtone is ringing for you.

    A latte in one hand, your mobile in the other,
    you fight your way through the traffic --
    you fight your mother.
    You're late for your date, but it's really quite early.
    You've got the numbers for them all:
    Johnny, Pete, Shirley...

    You're a ringtone retard. I feel for you.
    It must be hard to be born without a clue.
    I feel your pain so I'll refrain
    from calling you ever again.

    You're a ringtone retard. I feel for you.
    It must be hard to be so without a clue.
    You're such a dope. But try to cope.
    Your ringtone may deliver some hope.

    You're a ringtone retard.
    I feel for you. Oh don't be blue.
    Your ringtone is ringing for you. Show less
    Read more
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