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So let me share with you a secret. It is important that everyone understands this secret. The secret is:
The pursuit of a mate is not about finding a mate. The pursuit of a mate is about finding the greater you.
This is precisely what I was doing as a young man in preparation for my wife. I was not pursuing a relationship. I was preparing for a relationship. In the absence of preparation we will have failure. Therefore, what would be the point in getting into a relationship if we are not prepared? When we are not prepared for a positive relationship then our relationship will inevitably fail.
You will find that as you pursue the greater you, as you refine your thoughts, your words, and your actions, then you will become more prepared for a positive relationship. Part of the challenge is that we tend to be scattered as we pursue a relationship. We think about what we need to do for someone else, how we need to look for someone else, what we need to be like for someone else. But what about your own perception of self? Are you the best person that you can be? Not for someone else but for you. It is not about what someone else wants from you. It is about what you need to become so that you can be happy. The deeper question is "What do I need to become for my own happiness?"
In finding your own happiness you will open the gateway to a positive relationship. When we pursue, we expect someone else to make us happy. But you must find happiness for yourself. How do you find happiness? By pursuing the greater you.
The pursuit of a mate, the pursuit of a relationship is a distraction from the real work. the real work that will brings us happiness. We have to be patient with our process. We must be kind to ourselves by giving ourselves time so that we can heal from our past wounds and we can refine ourselves so that when that person comes into our life we will be prepared for them and ready to love. Being ready for love is about becoming the greater you.
It is not that you every get to some final destination of your own greatest but it is the pursuit of your own greatness that is of most importance. As you pursue your greater self people who are doing the same work will be attracted to you.
When you see someone really trying hard to do better and to become better it is in our nature to gravitate towards such people and help them in their process as they help us in our process.
3 things that you can do:
1. Purify your thoughts
2. Purify your words
3. Purify your actions
The more options you want in your life the more personal refinement you must engage in. The more personal refinement that you engage in the more options you will have.
It is not necessary to pursue a relationship. What really matters is the pursuance of your greater self. In pursuing your greater self you will become greater day by day. In becoming greater you will develop internal gravity which will allow you to perceive the truth that the possibility of a positive relationship was always there. You will see that the options were always there. It is about seeing all of the other options that were always there for you. But if you are thinking on a certain level, if you speak on a certain level, if you behave on a certain level then you will only see what is reflective of your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Therefore, when you purify your thoughts, your words, and your actions, you will see greater possibilities. This will open up the options that you will need to select the appropriate mate.
There are infinite possibilities and therefore infinite options. If you can see the options then you will have plenty of options to choose from. The gateway to these options is the pursuance of your greater self.
As you purify your thoughts you will see more options.
As you purify your words you will see more options.
As you purify your actions you will see more options.
Use every day to purify your thoughts, your words, and your actions. As you do these things you will see more options.
The pursuit of a mate is not about finding a mate. The pursuit of a mate is about finding the greater you. In pursuing the greater you you will open up the gateway to the realization of a positive male/female relationship.