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  • How To Be a YouTube Star !

    14,408 views 1 month ago
    New video on the first Tuesday of each month!
    Next video: December 6th, 2016!

    Remy shows you how to be a YouTube star these days.

    Please keep in touch!
    Twitter: @GoRemy

    Lyrics by Remy. Mastered by Ben Karlstrom. Music tracks by J-Beats Productions. Special thanks to everyone who has been watching my channel over the years--more videos to come!


    I got a camera, a laptop, some cables, a car
    can you help enable me to be a YouTube star?
    I need money fast and I'm taking a battering
    Student loan debts? No, Magic: the Gathering

    Do you use Logic? Never! It's software. Oh.
    Well you need to learn that, maybe Final Cut Pro
    Do you have talent? None. Really a pity, though
    Zero talent. Oh! You could make prank videos.

    Wait! Come back! We're just at the start!
    Don't you want to learn more about the technical part?
    Man I don't care what the lighting is, it's dusty and dumb
    cuz like the parents of Chinese twins I just need the sun

    Pranking it is! And you can think that it's lame
    but I'm thinking them clicks'll be my ticket to fame
    and so I stay up all night 'til my draft is ceased
    and in the morning only sight is a masterpiece

    Now pranking's where you put your priority first
    You make yourself a little richer and society worse
    it's like Paralympic archery, and I don't mean harm
    but what you really need is a target and a prosthetic arm

    I don't care what the weather is, don't care if it's rainy
    if I ruin someone's day or the picture is grainy
    so long as I get famous, that's me to a fault
    without that camera over there this would just be assault

    The white balance was off, the content should be admonished
    I haven't seen such poor lighting since the time I was Amish
    The audio's so bad it's practically weaponized
    That's him officer! Ooh, I just got recognized!

    Upload time and I'm eating some waffles
    The video's too wide, the picture is awful
    Widescreen like the pros! Pixelated confusion!
    Not since Gaza have I seen a strip with less resolution.

    Sign up for Ad Sense? That makes mad sense.
    My account's got nothing, shoot, how do I add cents?
    Pick a good preview image, they might see it wrong
    I'm picking out thumbnails like the Viet Cong

    But I get a thumbs down? Man, who sent a ringer?
    Not since my colon check have I been so surprised by a finger
    I guess now that I'm famous I gotta deal with the haters
    If I were you I'd analyze the backend data

    Analyzing data just like when I was a class nerd
    hide under a blanket so nobody sees the password
    I look like I'm hacking but feel like Josh Duggar
    examining a backend under the covers

    No comments, no likes, engagement here's terrible
    and according to wives your face is unbearable
    Add lyrics for women, you're ignoring engagement
    Like men today, right?? I need a replacement.

    Something women like that's benign and true
    Vampires. Love songs. Combine the two…
    That's not what I mean, that would just be the dumbest
    Surely you can do more than just songs about hummus

    uh, pranking it is! And you can think it's a shame
    but I'm thinking them clicks will be my ticket to fame
    So I stay up all night 'til my draft is ceased
    and in the morning--only sight? Another masterpiece

    That's how you make it on YouTube

    It's cool! It's for a prank.
    Oh! I work to feed my kids and now I'm late and may be fired.

    I was looking for love in all the wrong platelets
    Looking for love Show less
    Read more
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