I thought you might like to know some THINGS about me, and here they are. The most important facets of my psyche are all right here. Yep.
"Hello there. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "boy howdy, I sure wonder what that humanoid insect girl on YouTube dot com thinks about various types of biscuit". I can sense that you're definitely thinking that and not "how many cats will I meet in my life?" or "when will PointlessBlog notice me?" because I have the ability to read faraway minds, but only when I'm eating a Jaffa Cake and humming a Spice Girls song, so it's a bit of an erratic power.
Nevertheless, since I'm convinced of your ruthless and specific curiosities about me, I've decided to tell you some things. Some relatable and human facts that will manipulate you into feeling closer to me and wanting to buy me an ice cream cone if we ever should pass each other in the street. So here goes.
1. My favourite type of biscuit is one of those jam sandwich cream types. They are the perfect ratio of jammy to creamy to biscuit-y. The delicious prince of biscuits, if you will.
2. I can't decide whether I like Fox Mulder or Dana Scully more and it's kinda tearing me apart. I feel like it ought to be Scully but I think I relate to Mulder more somehow. I was watching The X-Files the other day and he was doing a lot of running and I imagined that 'Darude - Sandstorm' was playing all the time as he ran. It added another level to my enjoyment of the episode. I've gone off on a tangent here, haven't I?
3. My favourite fruit/berry is the dainty and unassuming raspberry. I love a raspberry. I like that they are sort of shaped like snazzy little hats for your fingers. I enjoy it when a piece of food can double as a stylish accessory, although finger hats haven't quite caught on in the fashion world yet, but they will soon enough.
4. I've watched an anime at least once. That's right. Put me in anime prison.
5. I'm 62% sure I'm related to icicles. We tend to share a lot of physical features as well as social interests.
Now I'm going to stop there because I don't want to bombard you with the intensity of this knowledge. It is a burden to know me and how much of an emotional attachment I have to Freddos. A Freddo, for the uninitiated is a type of chocolate frog which now costs one hundred of her majesty's simple pounds and ninety nine crying pence, and he is also a caring and wonderful man - I mean frog - who has offered me endless kindness.
Anyway, my point is, you'll need to take a break from learning about me to recuperate, and I'm generous enough to give you some time before the fifty page exam you're going to sit on the subject of 'mothcub historical studies' but you should probably start revising now. See you later."