Dark Ritual Bear

I don't understand myself. I used to think of YouTube as a way to make money by trying to become "internet famous". I realized that I kind of resent social media and internet virality, and I just want to make content for myself, so i can figure out who I am. I think it is hard to know oneself, but all I can do I try to figure out who I am. Maybe the pursuit of happiness is enough, what even is happiness? Is happiness just a chemical reaction that we experience in our bodies? If this is the case, then how do we know what is real? How do we experience happiness and how do we know that it is genuine? I don't care if anyone reads this, but I guess it would validate me a little if someone did lol. This probably sounds so crazy haha