Start with what! The world's worst OKR advice

We're Alessia and Sandy, 2 OKR practitioners who have seen and done a lot - with more than 15 years of experience between us. And let us tell you this: there are superb ways to fail at OKRs, frustrate your employees and burn some money. Where all there's left is scorched earth and a framework that shall not be named. 
 You want easy answers to the question "how to make OKRs successful?" and are sick of the complex answer "it depends". We can't give you a perfect one-size-fits-all recipe that make your OKR introduction successful, because that's individual to your company. But we can give you a recipe for disaster.
Times are tough, so we wanted to share the best ways to fail fast - with an extra dose of humour and a pinch of irony. It's a cordial invitation not to take your own mistakes too seriously, as long as you learn from them.
There will be some "oh no we did that!"  face palm moments. But don't worry. We are all in this together.