Panda eating a muffin

Hi. I'm a muffin-addicted panda, but good friends like you can call me PEAM.
Some fun facts about me:

- I know what rhymes with orange
- When rolling a D-20, I always inexplicably roll a 14, leaving scientists baffled
- I can talk to furniture on a full moon
- Your lungs just turned into manual mode
- I beat a level 20 chess bot by closing the tab and ceasing their existence
- I'm an expert in riding dragons, they unfortunately just don't exist
- I know what red paint tastes like
- I know what blue paint tastes like through scientific conclusion
- I don't reflect in mirrors, which causes some really confusing incidents with vampire-hunters
- I'm The Chosen One; just don't know what I'm chosen for exactly
- I'm terribly irresponsible with the superpowers I got after getting bitten by a radioactive skunk