help me tarot?

♱✞ “Sometimes, just to feel alive, I think about death. Death justifies me. An object ages because it carries within itself a dynamic. Instead of saying 'my world,' I boldly say: the world depends on me. Because if I do not exist, the Universe ceases in me. Could it be that after death abstraction begins? I, reduced to a word? but which word represents me? One thing I know: I am not my name. My name belongs to those who call me. But my intimate name is: zero. It is an eternal beginning permanently interrupted by my consciousness of beginning. God is neither the beginning nor the end. He is always the middle.” - Clarice Lispector ✞♱