Help me 1k subscribers without any video Challenge

A (very successful) commenter here on YouTube.

Fun Facts:
• I want to reach 1k subscribers on October 18, 2020
• I regret at least 40% of the comments I’ve made within my YouTube career. Please don’t cancel me. I’m sorry.

FAQ
Q. How do you have so many subscribers?
A. I really don’t have a secret. I just comment on a lot of videos that I watch, and sooner or later someone would probably recognize you since you’re pretty much everywhere. Boom. Profit.

Q. Do you/have you ever used sub bots?
A. Absolutely not. Each and every single one of my subscribers come from real, legitimate accounts. I believe using sub bots is cheating, and it kind of defeats the purpose of this channel.

Q. Will you ever post a video here?
A. Most definitely not.

(i ran out of space to write)