Helpless 13.514

I own nothing...
I have don't want make a description and mention, it's all my fault that this exists, this is here and why it's all my past that made me do this now and I am here now. Helpless, why? even if I can ask for help and clear everything things I have done and I have been doing still doing may do even after time goes on, It's disgusting to  think about and it's all my fault that can be changed but I can't change it no matter what I want to but the very much I don't want to, I don't desire it but I have to because that's what
 I have chosen and going back his a great difficulty that have to face but I can't but I WANT. What this all means failure everything to the point of the beginning to the point of ending, what I have doing can't be forgotten or forgiven even it's a fraction amount compared to the world itself but compared to a small failure of a being it's something that's big and anger that's from the darkness that I hold and not want to be seen or know that it exists.