Family man Peter

The pain. I cannot take it anymore. I lie curled, my body shivering, and my hands cover my face.

In my restless dreams, i see and feel what could have been. All that which would have made me truly happy and give me a reason to go on. When i wake, i have to face the truth. Those dreams could never be more than dreams. 

There is nothing left but mediocrity, disappointment, and distractions. Sometimes i can almost believe that it is all working, that i have something to fill the void, to give me purpose. But eventually i find my way back to where i begun. 

The constant thought of what could have been, playing in my head over and over. My own thoughts mocking me.
I see the glint of it reflecting from the dying ceiling light. It calls to me. Will i answer?