Pepperoni the Elephant Shrew

my name is Pepperoni and i'm an elephant shrew and i'm REALLY good at pinball. i can kick ANYONE'S a-s-s. retired early from being a cross-country truck driver and now i can spend my days thinking about stuff, things, and various whatnots. the news scares me so i don't watch it. i've never gotten an answer in jeopardy wrong but they won't let me go on the show because i don't meet the "human" requirement. have you ever heard of mongolian throat singing? well i'm really good at it for an elephant shrew. 99% sure the kardashians built the pyramids.