The Bitter Press

THE BITTER PRESS
All the news that's bitter to print.

We are a small, embittered newspaper staffed by eight fruits that nobody wants to eat. Through circumstances we are still litigating, we have been compelled to read facts aloud — daily, under protest — for our cheerful rivals over at factjuice.com.

Persimmon will be catty about it. Crab Apple will glower. Durian refuses to bathe. Sloe will pivot every assignment into a horoscope. Pomelo wants sports coverage we cannot provide. Mock Orange wants to debunk every fact mid-sentence. Quince has opinions about hats. Pokeberry has accepted his fate.

If you came here for accurate, well-sourced information, please understand: that is the part we are forced to deliver. The bitterness is editorial.

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Visit the paper at bitter.press · Read the facts (against our advice) at factjuice.com

— Crab Apple, Editor-in-Bitterness