Cosmic Questions with Joe.

Greetings, primitive carbon-based lifeforms.

My name is Xylorp-Glaarg-Zhtnnx, but since your stunted earthly vocal cords would immediately snap trying to pronounce it, the channel is simply called 'Cosmic Questions with Joe'. According to the GalaxyTube algorithm, your limited brain capacity only clicks on simple names like this. 
You're welcome.

While orbiting Earth, I've observed that your species is completely illogical and fundamentally ridiculous. In this show, I beam unsuspecting earthly test subjects up to my ship's podcast studio to demand explanations for your most absurd habits. I then upload the recordings to my galactic GalaxyTube channel so advanced civilizations actually have something to laugh at.

Assimilate the subscribe button. Or don't, I really don't care. The viewership is wired directly into your subconscious anyway.

Joe out.