ZACH SELWYN AND ELI BRADEN "My Kid"

My kid is the playground king /
Your kid is a ding-a-ling /
My kid, skin smooth like silk /
Your kid, choke on milk //

My kid push himself in his stroller /
Your kid, diagnosed bipolar /
My kid eat Cookie Crisp /
Your kid talk with a lisp //

My kid walk at six months old /
Your kid wear clothes Goodwill sold /
My kid use his dick like a tripod /
Your kid got showtunes on his iPod //

My kid, straight A's /
Your kid, shit for brains /
My kid's sippy cup is full of White Russian /
Your kid use a priest's lap as a cushion //

* It's time that we let the world know /
Dude, your kid goofy like Elmo /
My kid is the best at the daycare /
Rockstar 'do while your kid rock the gay hair //

My kid pop a boner, it rip his diaper /
Your kid's babysitter ... my kid piped her /
My kid could star in porn /
Your kid cried like a bitch when he was born //

My kid, Tiger Woods is his caddy /
Your kid wish I was his daddy /
My kid had a three-way with the Olsen twins /
Your kid, karma for your sins //

My kid, king of the Jews /
Makes out with Suri Cruise /
My kid stepped on his own dick /
Your kid hung like a candlewick //

My kid looks like Joel West /
Your kid's six, still on the breast /
My kid got blown by Hannah Montana /
Your kid got brought coal from Santa //

It's time that we let the world know /
Dude, your kid goofy like Elmo /
My kid is the best at the daycare /
Rockstar 'do while your kid rock the gay hair //

My kid, potty trained at month four /
Your kid, still takin' dumps on the floor /
My kid, Wolfgang Van Halen /
Your kid, Bristol Palin //

My kid already got groupies /
Your kid cries at G movies /
My kid eat meat that's lean /
Your kid vegan, need protein //

My kid got a nine milli in his holster /
Your kid got a Clay Aiken poster /
My kid, shit don't stink /
Your kid, the missing link //

It's time that we let the world know /
Dude, your kid goofy like Elmo /
My kid is the best at the daycare /
Rockstar 'do while your kid rock the gay hair

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• my kid
• music video
• parody
• funny
• comedy jesse
• zach selwyn
• eli braden
• mickey avalon
• dick
• children

[Moletastic69]

I like how these guy's rhymes are actually better than the original song. Nice touch.

[razaklks]

haha, good video, but your Joaquin Phoenix parody is the best thing I've ever seen

[cjcbeme]

i tried singing this while doing the jerk

[hotchowder]

didn't know zach selwyn was so hardcore about being a jew

[miraclebabiesmama]

This video ROCKS! I want the cd!

[ultimatenerd22]

this version is sooooooo much cooler.

[redsoxfan9000]

lol 1 49 elmo puppet

[redsoxfan9000]

i love this song my aunt went to high school with Zach so ya its kinda cool

[Zacharyzer]

this is a parody of the Mickey Avalon song "My Dick" - we reworked it, vanilla ice style. If we ever made a dollar, wed get sued.

[ultimatenerd22]

hilarious

[HyperMushrooms]

Avalon fan, love this song, love your cover even more!