When Love Gets Violent

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The 911 caller and her mother are safe, the abuser received 3 years probation and some jail time. (Lisa, San Diego) --Many are not so "lucky"... :(

Lizzy is not the caller, Lizzy was a young woman in my life killed by her boyfriend.

Thank you to Jason Shaw at http://www.audionautix.com for the music!

All information in this video was provided by the Domestic Violence Law Casebook (3rd Edition) by Nancy Lemon as well as personal experience and my crisis counselor training booklet.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101 & RESOURCES:
find shelters and resources by STATE! - http://www.letswrap.com/usadv/
basic DV facts - http://bit.ly/bkSgiS
DV statistics- http://new.abanet.org/domesticviolenc...
general info - http://www.domesticviolence.org
national org - http://www.ncadv.org/
overview of treatment & prevention - http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domes...
recognizing abuse: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dome...
examples of all types of abuse: http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/wh...
why do women stay? -
1.http://www.eap.partners.org/worklife/...
2. http://www.associatedcontent.com/arti...
ending violence against immigrant women - http://www.immigrantwomennetwork.org/
ending violence against men - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dome...
anti-domestic violence forces in US govt http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/
unicef publication - http://bit.ly/dy7hUd
power and control wheel - http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/wh...
cycle of violence - http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle...

CONVERSING WITH/COACHING A SURVIVOR:
Questions:
-What would you like to see happen right now?
-How do you feel about all of this?
-What do you think he/she will do next?
-How can I help you feel more safe?
(**Ask broad questions - avoid yes/no)

Supportive phrases:
-You don't deserve this. Nobody does.
-I want to support you in every way I can, but you have to tell me how.
-I feel really awful that this is happening to you.
-No matter what, I'm going to be here. You always have me.
-My #1 concern right now is your safety.
-I can't imagine how much you must be dealing with right now.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE NEWS
October is DV Awareness Month:
http://www.wgil.com/localnews.php?xne...
Whole Foods launches Twitter Campaign to support Domestic Violence Survivor Advocates:
http://www.thehotline.org/2010/05/who...
Violence Against Women Act turns 16!
http://www.thehotline.org/2010/09/vio...
New PBS Documentary on Domestic Violence:"
http://www.thehotline.org/2010/05/pbs...
Detroit March Against DV:
http://www.detnews.com/article/201010...
San Diego Rally for Slain Woman:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/20...

NATIONAL HOTLINES:
Domestic violence - 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) orTTY 1−800−787−3224.
Rape, abuse, and incest national network - 1-800-656-HOPE

HOW TO BECOME A COUNSELOR
Look up a crisis center, shelter, or family justice center closest to where you live (you might also have luck with family law firms that specialize in family violence). Note that these are typically in BIG cities, and those in outskirts may not be able to help in this way. However, by contacting the crisis center, you can learn what needs they have for your area.

Ask the center how to become a crisis counselor. Some states (definitely CA) require a certification, some require a 70 hour training, etc. They can direct you.

OTHER WAYS TO END VIOLENCE:
-Educate others about healthy relationships and resources
-Spread awareness on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and other social networking platforms. These are POWERFUL!
-Get involved at your local advocacy unit or a crisis hotline.
-Report violence when you see it, hear it, OR SUSPECT IT.
-Vote in legislators who are educated about relationship violence
-Donate money to national or local advocacy units, they are always fighting for funds.
-Make a video about it
-Start a campaign in your community, at your school, or workplace taking a stand against domestic violence

• Category

  Education

[Clare Roberts]

The first 22 seconds of this video were fucking horrifying

[Con Dom]

the intro to this video made my blood turn to ice

[J0yisaL0s3r]

I totally get what you are saying, but 911 operators are trained to stay as calm as possible and get all the facts, so when the police DO get to the person on the other end, they know exactly what to do.

[SuperRainbowSherby]

The intro is so scary. ;_;

[Jibbas jibbas]

What about verbal abuse?

[Katie Pyland]

I think the 911 operator should've acted faster instead of trying to make the distressed child repeat what they had just seen. It's obvious that someone was in trouble, that's your job. It wouldn't have taken much effort to dispatch a police officer to the house. This is disappointing.

[Claire B]

I think they were more trying to calm the child so they could get an address and send help, it is definitely disturbing to hear them not affected by the call but it just shows how often police must get calls like this. :(

People who take these calls probably internalise the emotions they're feeling so that they can concentrate on helping the caller and not worsening the situation.

[Claire B]

That 911 call genuinely scared me.

[Claire B]

Many men are victims & we certainly need to remove the stigma associated with men being abused so that they are able to come forward. However, women are FAR more likely to be abused by a partner & abuse is far more likely to result in death when the victim is a woman.

Patriarchy oppresses BOTH women & men - women live in fear because 1 in 3 will be sexually assaulted or beaten in her lifetime (usually by a partner) & men are oppressed because they're too ashamed to report their own abuse.

[Nevergiveup41]

holy shit the first 22 seconds have me Crying.

[Siana Gearz]

Right where you never said that cops, judges and sociologists don't believe stories... what kind of stories? Stories they can't relate to? Stories from the internet? Stories about abusive women?

[ABC123STD1]

Ok you know what shut the hell up, you have been an ignorant prick this entire conversation, accept that men get abused to and that women are able to do harm too.