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  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Rap

    132,300 views 1 year ago
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Rap - a music video parody of the Peter Jackson film, "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" by Frog Island Comedy
    Written and produced by Ryan Fox, Cooper Barnes and Liz Stewart
    Music engineered by Chris Constable
    Directed and edited by Cooper Barnes
    Starring Cooper Barnes, Chuck Ganchorre, Tara Shea, Liz Stewart, Ryan Fox, and David Craze as the Dwarves
    Hunter Davis as Gandalf
    Walter Harris as Bilbo
    Indira G. Wilson & Devyan DuMon as Jersey Shire hobbits
    Liz Stewart as Smaug
    AD/DP: John-Michael Thomas
    Special thanks to John-Michael Thomas, AJ Martinson, and Oscar

    LYRICS:

    COOP: Awwwwwww Look who it is! Everybody knows

    COOP: The stylin' little midget with dem hairy toes

    RYAN: He's got pointy ears and his pants are saggin'

    CHUCK: Our #1 homeboy

    ALL: Bilbo Baggins!

    BILBO: Oh, do come in. I'll make us some food.

    DAVE: You know I loves me some fried chicken

    RYAN: Dude!

    RYAN: Er, what he means is- your hobbit hole's tight!

    LIZ: Not smelly

    TARA: or dirty

    CHUCK: No worms in sight!

    BILBO: Pray tell, Gandalf, why I have so many guests?

    GANDALF: We about to embark on a muthafuckin' quest!




    TARA: So bust out the seed cake

    LIZ: and pour us some ale

    COOP: And sit right back and we'll tell you a tale

    COOP: Let's blast to the past, way back when

    COOP: Between the dawn of the faeries and dominion of men

    LIZ: We dwarves had it made in Middle Earth

    RYAN: We was rollin in money, and bitches and mirth

    LIZ: When along comes Smaug and we under attack...

    DAVE: Jackin up our hood

    CHUCK: Man dat dragon is whack!

    TARA: He smoked all our peeps, breathin his fire

    CHUCK: They all got wasted like the Jersey Shire

    RYAN: He took what was ours, and ruined all our fun

    COOP: Five finger discounted our duckets, son!

    RYAN: That dragon is evil!

    TARA: But who can stop it?

    GANDALF: THIS most fly and funky fresh hobbit!

    BRIDGE:
    Dragons and Elves and Dwarves and Goblins...

    Giants and Eagles and Swords and Goblins...

    Man Eating trolls and Wargs and Goblins

    BIG ASS SPIDERS AND OF HORDES GOBLINS!

    CHORUS:
    Where we goin?

    We goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where he goin?

    He goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where we goin'?

    We goin' there and back again!

    It's an unexpected journey, shorty!

    BILBO: What in the world does this have to do with ME?

    LIZ: You gonna help us pull a B&E.

    COOP: Cuz you're small and you're quiet and we got the feelin'...

    BILBO: That because I'm a hobbit I'd be good at stealing?

    DAVE: Er- No- we just meant- you people are skilled-

    BILBO: You people?

    RYAN: Fool, are you TRYIN' to get us killed?

    CHUCK: We ain't got all day yo, so how about it, playa?

    CHUCK: You gonna be our mudderfuckin dragon slaya?

    BILBO: Adventures make you late for dinner!

    COOP: Bilbo, don't be a dildo,

    LIZ: We thought you wuz a winner!

    BILBO: Now just hold on -- I don't like this one bit!

    TARA: Let's leave yo, This pussy ass hobbit ain't shit!

    CHORUS:
    Where we goin?

    We goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where he goin?

    He goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where we goin'?

    We goin' there and back again!

    SMAUG: Ra Ra like a dungeon dragon!

    COOP: Takin' walks by yourself, your life's pretty lame

    TARA: Hiding in your hole, you ain't got no game!

    LIZ: No glory, no balls, no fine ass lady hobbit

    GOLLUM: If he wants it, he shoulda put a ring on it!

    BILBO: Fine, I'll kill your dragon- I'll make us all rich!

    GANDALF: Well done, my boy, I knew you weren't a bitch.

    GANDALF: Pay no mind to these mannerless wretches

    DAVE: Who's this hottie?

    BILBO: Hey, that's my precious!

    BILBO: This book's pretty short. How long will this be?

    RYAN: Two long movies

    COOP: eh, let's round it up to three!

    CHUCK: P. Jackson gets richer with every ticket sold

    PETER JACKSON: Give me the give me the give me tha gold!

    CHORUS:
    Where we goin?

    We goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where he goin?

    He goin' there and back again!

    Yo, where we goin'?

    We goin' there and back again!

    It's an unexpected journey, shorty! Show less
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