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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Rap

132,140 views 1 year ago
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Rap - a music video parody of the Peter Jackson film, "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" by Frog Island Comedy
Written and produced by Ryan Fox, Cooper Barnes and Liz Stewart
Music engineered by Chris Constable
Directed and edited by Cooper Barnes
Starring Cooper Barnes, Chuck Ganchorre, Tara Shea, Liz Stewart, Ryan Fox, and David Craze as the Dwarves
Hunter Davis as Gandalf
Walter Harris as Bilbo
Indira G. Wilson & Devyan DuMon as Jersey Shire hobbits
Liz Stewart as Smaug
AD/DP: John-Michael Thomas
Special thanks to John-Michael Thomas, AJ Martinson, and Oscar

LYRICS:

COOP: Awwwwwww Look who it is! Everybody knows

COOP: The stylin' little midget with dem hairy toes

RYAN: He's got pointy ears and his pants are saggin'

CHUCK: Our #1 homeboy

ALL: Bilbo Baggins!

BILBO: Oh, do come in. I'll make us some food.

DAVE: You know I loves me some fried chicken

RYAN: Dude!

RYAN: Er, what he means is- your hobbit hole's tight!

LIZ: Not smelly

TARA: or dirty

CHUCK: No worms in sight!

BILBO: Pray tell, Gandalf, why I have so many guests?

GANDALF: We about to embark on a muthafuckin' quest!




TARA: So bust out the seed cake

LIZ: and pour us some ale

COOP: And sit right back and we'll tell you a tale

COOP: Let's blast to the past, way back when

COOP: Between the dawn of the faeries and dominion of men

LIZ: We dwarves had it made in Middle Earth

RYAN: We was rollin in money, and bitches and mirth

LIZ: When along comes Smaug and we under attack...

DAVE: Jackin up our hood

CHUCK: Man dat dragon is whack!

TARA: He smoked all our peeps, breathin his fire

CHUCK: They all got wasted like the Jersey Shire

RYAN: He took what was ours, and ruined all our fun

COOP: Five finger discounted our duckets, son!

RYAN: That dragon is evil!

TARA: But who can stop it?

GANDALF: THIS most fly and funky fresh hobbit!

BRIDGE:
Dragons and Elves and Dwarves and Goblins...

Giants and Eagles and Swords and Goblins...

Man Eating trolls and Wargs and Goblins

BIG ASS SPIDERS AND OF HORDES GOBLINS!

CHORUS:
Where we goin?

We goin' there and back again!

Yo, where he goin?

He goin' there and back again!

Yo, where we goin'?

We goin' there and back again!

It's an unexpected journey, shorty!

BILBO: What in the world does this have to do with ME?

LIZ: You gonna help us pull a B&E.

COOP: Cuz you're small and you're quiet and we got the feelin'...

BILBO: That because I'm a hobbit I'd be good at stealing?

DAVE: Er- No- we just meant- you people are skilled-

BILBO: You people?

RYAN: Fool, are you TRYIN' to get us killed?

CHUCK: We ain't got all day yo, so how about it, playa?

CHUCK: You gonna be our mudderfuckin dragon slaya?

BILBO: Adventures make you late for dinner!

COOP: Bilbo, don't be a dildo,

LIZ: We thought you wuz a winner!

BILBO: Now just hold on -- I don't like this one bit!

TARA: Let's leave yo, This pussy ass hobbit ain't shit!

CHORUS:
Where we goin?

We goin' there and back again!

Yo, where he goin?

He goin' there and back again!

Yo, where we goin'?

We goin' there and back again!

SMAUG: Ra Ra like a dungeon dragon!

COOP: Takin' walks by yourself, your life's pretty lame

TARA: Hiding in your hole, you ain't got no game!

LIZ: No glory, no balls, no fine ass lady hobbit

GOLLUM: If he wants it, he shoulda put a ring on it!

BILBO: Fine, I'll kill your dragon- I'll make us all rich!

GANDALF: Well done, my boy, I knew you weren't a bitch.

GANDALF: Pay no mind to these mannerless wretches

DAVE: Who's this hottie?

BILBO: Hey, that's my precious!

BILBO: This book's pretty short. How long will this be?

RYAN: Two long movies

COOP: eh, let's round it up to three!

CHUCK: P. Jackson gets richer with every ticket sold

PETER JACKSON: Give me the give me the give me tha gold!

CHORUS:
Where we goin?

We goin' there and back again!

Yo, where he goin?

He goin' there and back again!

Yo, where we goin'?

We goin' there and back again!

It's an unexpected journey, shorty! Show less
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