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schmoyoho - accent on the YO!
Songify the News
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1
Songify the News #2 - MUFFINS IN CONGRESS
by schmoyoho 1,262,199 views
From the halls of Congress to the U.S. Military Academy, accidental singers solve the world's problems one troublesome muffin at a time. Featuring NicePeter - http://youtube.com/NicePeter -
Subscribe to his channel for great joy and betterment!
Our 2nd channel: http://youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/gregorybrothers
FACEBOOK: http://facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Original videos
Rep. Ted Poe on muffins: http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/301605-1
Anderson Cooper debates church lady: http://youtu.be/ez0AMf2U5RU
VP Biden congratulating West Point grads: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/05/at-west-point-commencement-joe-biden-focuses-on-future-challenges/
Alexander Foote contributed waily & picky guitars: http://alexanderfoote.bandcamp.com/
Dan Millice mastered - http://www.danmillice.com/ -
2
Songify the News #1 - GET MONEY, TURN GAY
by schmoyoho 3,840,703 views
As election season heats up, candidates and news pundits alike bring the core tenets of our democratic republic to the forefront with a driving beat and soaring melody.
SONGIFY the free iPhone app -http://bit.ly/songify
or on Android: http://bit.ly/YTGBSongifyAndroid
shirts and stuff - http://www.thegregorybrothers.com/music-store/
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's channel, hitRECord: http://www.youtube.com/hitrecord
Collaborate with him on his web site: http://www.hitrecord.org
More Gregory Brothers: YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/gregorybrothers
Webs! http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
original videos:
Newt Gingrich on cash money : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka0LMt5ciRc
Jim Stossel on voting : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM7GHzpNlXc
Vermin Supreme on Various metaphysics:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFXXAuDK1Ao
More Vermin Supreme: http://www.verminsupreme.com/
Lyrics:
My name is Vermin, Vermin Supreme
And you can vote, you can vote for me.
For president if you want
And my name is Vermin, and uh, okay.
Do you still stand by your pony pledge?
Yes, I do, free ponies for all
Turn all that pony poop to methane gas.
One more thing, Jesus told me to make
Randall Terry gay -
He's turnin' gay, turnin' gay!
Whooo Whoooo!
Thank you, alright, okay.
And all the un-gay is melting away!
He's turnin' gay, turnin' gay!
Whooo Whoooo!
Not a single straight gene in his DNA
'Cause he's turnin' turnin' turnin' turnin' Turnin' gay!
Our instinct says everybody should vote
but some people are dumb - and they shouldn't vote!
The kids are not paying attention -
Yeah, on election day give 'em detention
This endless cheerleading -
Let's go to the rock concerts, register the kids.
All the kids are so stupid, stupid, dumb stupid.
Speaker Gingrich, do you propose kids work as janitors?
You can hire 30-some kids for the price of one janitor
Those kids who get money, cash money.
Light janitorial duty - get money
Work in the cafeteria - cash money
Cash money is a good thing if you're poor
Get some cash money, then get some more.
Imma help poor people learn how to get a job
Imma, imma help poor people learn how to get
That money, that cash
Get money, get a stash
Get that money, that cash
Get money, get a whole damn stash -
3
Auto-Tune the News #13: driving. stripping. swinging. (ft. Weezer)
by schmoyoho 4,270,729 views
The hallowed inner sanctum of U.S. Government rocks hard with the aid of representatives from the state of =w=.
Weezer's new album 'Hurley' now available - http://www.weezer.com or on iTunes: http://bit.ly/weezertube
kite boy shirt: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
quartet sheet music: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers?v=photos#!/photo.php?pid=4861378&id=46060559283&ref=fbx_album
2nd channel: http://www.youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
Follow the Gregory Brothers for more remixes/songifications:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Chords:
chorus - E B
verse 1 - F# G#min E B
verse 2 - B5 E5
Lyrics:
Don't leave me swinging in the wind until November
I am here! I am not going away!
Hey, if I was you, I may want me to go away, too
You know, what the hell--do what you have to do
But don't leave me swinging in the wind until November, until November
Don't leave me swinging in the wiiiiiiiind, the wiiiiiiind
Democrats, hey! And Republicans, hey!
As much as I love you, I am not going away
I violated the rules and I'm apologizing
For God's sake, I'm 80 years old
And all I'm saying is heck,
Have the ethics committee expedite this--
This is an emergency
Democrats, hey! And Republicans, hey!
As much as I love you, I am not going away
He's still a contender
He will not surrender
Don't you leave him
Swinging in the wind until November
Don't leave me swinging in the wind until November, until November
Don't leave me swinging in the wiiiiiiiiiind
Do what you have to do
But don't leave me swinging in the wind until November, until November
Don't leave me swinging in the wiiiiiiiind, the wiiiiiiiind
There's a lot of pain and anguish from people worried about this Islamic Center
What about these strip joints? strip joints? strip joints?
Are these people who are holier than thou condemning the strip joints nearby?
Let's take a closer look at the strippers to see if they got somethin to hiiiiiiiide!
Painting Islam with a broad brush makes our problems worse, worse, worse
Makes them wooooooorse!
And I don't like it, nobody should like it, like it
Painting strip joints with a broad brush makes our problems worse (worse), worse (worse), worse (much worse!)
It was done to the Jews before--that's why we have perpetual war
Blood and gore!
Perpetual war
Forevermore!
Perpetual war
Persecutin Islamic strippers
I don't like it
Puttin a ban on Halal liquor
nobody should like it
Burnin Qur'ans to get people pissed
I don't like it
Puttin Tinky Winkie on the no-fly list
I don't like it, nobody should like it
Republicans drove our economy into a ditch
We got in there and we pushed and we shoved
And these guys were standin sippin on a slurpee
And they got the nerve to ask for the keys back
I don't wanna give em the keys back
They don't know how to dri--don't know how to drive
When you wanna go forward in your car, what do you do?
You put it in D, they're gonna pop it in reverse
I don't wanna give em the keys back
They don't know how to dri--don't know how to drive
Our metaphorical car got no brakes and no gearshift
We'll go metaphorically far while we're standin in the ditch, bitch! -
4
Auto-Tune the News #12: weed. lesbian allegaytions.
by schmoyoho 6,543,044 views
The possibility of California marijuana legalization and suggestion of Supreme Court lesbianism inspire rousing choruses from concerned/excited news personalities.
Produced by The Gregory Brothers. More on us:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
Lyrics:
The market value of pot would go down, down, down if we legalize it
Then supersize it
Right now, now, now
$4,000 an ounce
That's way too much
$400 an ounce
That's ten times the blunts
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right right now, now, now
That huge profit margin would go down, down, down if pot were legal
For the needy people
Right now, now, now
Does it lead to harder drugs?
No more than cigarettes
No, absolutely not
It leads to happiness
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right. Right now, now, now
A photo of supreme court nominee Elena Kagan shows Kagan playing softball
Uh, uh...
That's been sort of a signal like 2 men sunbathing together on a beach
Or something like that
The immediate implication is that they're gay
That's all, I've, I've known that for a long time
And as soon as I saw that picture
I knew the implication:
She's gay, she's gay!
I saw the allegation:
she's gay, she's gay!
Her sexual orientation
Significant in her confirmation
Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay, gay lesbian)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay lesbian, lesbian)
Gay, gay, gay, gay like two men sunbathing together on a beach (3x)
Or something like that
The White House denies her gayness
But she got Village People on her iPod playlist
::laughing/chuckling/chortling::
There's nothing wrong with a little levity
When we're short on thoughts and long on brevity
::bantering::
Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)......
we're having a conversation
about the implication
of sexual orientation
a silly allegation
of extreme exaggeration
and pointless information
when it comes to confirmation
You would have to smooooke
14 joints in 1960
Today minus 50
To get just as hiiiigh
As in 2010 with just 1 joint
Goin back in time always disappoints
Isn't that amazing?
It's gonna be crazy in 2060
If we legalize marijuana
It would be a very dark day
In California
Dark with smooooke
Very bad idea
Would it balance our budget?
It would not!
Half of voters favor legalizing pot
If we legalize marijuana
It would be a dark, dark day
Very bad!
A dark, dark best day I'd ever have
A dark, dark, dark, dark, dark dark day. -
5
Auto-Tune the News #10: Turtles.
by schmoyoho 4,965,681 views
Original song, Aquarium Girl, by Kapluckus--album available here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/kapluckus/id287197642
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6
Songify This - Obama Sings to the Shawties (replay extended)
by schmoyoho 8,988,339 views
In order to work together, we must dance together.
THE FULL SPEECH: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZdEmjtF6HE
THE ORIGINAL IYAZ SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoG5jJ3E8rg
FOLLOW the Gregory Brothers for more remixes/songifications:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
2ND CHANNEL
www.youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
SHIRTS
www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
CHORDS
F#m - D - A - E
LYRICS
Intro:
Shawtayee, ay
Shawtayee, ay ay
Shawtayee, ay ay ay
Chorus:
All the people who sent us here
have different backgrounds,
different stories, different beliefs.
We do not give up.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, not today
We do not get stuck in replay.
Verse:
No matter who we are
or where we come from
each of us is a part
of something greater
more consequential
than we individually are.
New laws will only pass
with Democrats and Republicans.
I believe we can, we must,
get the economy going again.
Bridge:
We do big things
from the days of our founding
big things
cause we dare to dream
big things
our destiny is our choice
we share common hopes, common creed
Chorus -
7
iTunes Version - Backin Up Song
by schmoyoho 8,706,419 views
iTUNES: http://dft.ba/-backinup
SITE: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
SHIRTS: http://districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
ORIGINAL VIDEOS: http://www.kmbc.com/news/24836888/detail.html & http://www.kmbc.com/video/24837823/detail.html
WALK OFF THE EARTH COVER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p8p5JkWUGg
SHELLI LANGDALE: http://oustcat.org
Auto-Tune the News / Gregory Brothers links:
YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
2nd YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
Send us stuff!
The Gregory Brothers
442-D Lorimer St.
#102
Brooklyn, NY 11206-1030
CHORDS:
Chorus: Eb - Bb (x4)
Verse: Fmin - Bb - Eb - Ebmin/Ab (x2)
Bridge: Bb
LYRICS
I'm backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up
Cause my daddy taught me good
I'm backin' the hell outta there
And I'm like oh my God, oh my God, my God
I'm backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up
Cause my daddy taught me good
And I think maybe I should faint. But I don't. (NO.)
My daddy taught me good.
I was putting one more type of coffee in my coffee cup
And outta the corner of my eyes I saw two guys come in
One with a black hoodie, one with a white hoodie.
Black hoodie. (White hoodie!)
White hoodie. (Black hoodie!)
They said, "WE WANT YOUR MONEY EVERYBODY DOWN!"
And I'm like, "Oh UGH! Why did I need coffee now?!"
And soooooo
The guy in black starts comin' down,
comin' down down down down
(Chorus)
So I backed farther and farther away,
And I'm like, don't look don't look don't look.
And he comes right to me and he goes,
Get down now! Get down now!
And I just drop to my knee,
see my little knee.
And, and then when I figure I'm safe
I'm like, countin' to two thousand.
And I don't hear nothin'....Nothin!
Then I hear:
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
I'm like, Ohhhmigod they're dead!
(Chorus)
And I'm like I'm gonna have to find all my friends dead,
And then they were laughing (ha ha),
They shot the robber!
Hero of the day, saved my life, saved my life!
They shot the robber!
Hero of the day, saved my life.
Mi amigos, he's a hero.
(Chorus) -
8
Rent: Too Damn High! Song.
by schmoyoho 6,811,575 views
In the future, all political debates will be moderated by a DJ in a spaceship, and the debaters will sing and rap their way to glorious victory. Jimmy McMillan of The Rent Is Too Damn High Party demonstrates this utopian vision with a roaring rendition of his party's eponymous theme.
ORIGINAL VIDEO
www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4o-TeMHys0
FOLLOW the Gregory Brothers for more remixes/songifications:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
2ND CHANNEL
www.youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
SHIRTS
www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
Send us stuff!
The Gregory Brothers
442-D Lorimer St.
#102
Brooklyn, NY 11206-1030
CHORDS
Verse: Gm, Ebmaj7, Dm7, Cm7, F
Chorus: Bb, Gm, Bb, Ab7, Eb, C7/E, F, D7/F#
2 Damn High Bridge: Bb, C, Gm (rpt), Eb, F, Bb, Eb, F, Gm
LYRICS
I represent "The Rent is Too Damn High" Party.
People working 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week -
Some a third job - why?
The rent is too damn high!
The people I'm here to represent
can't afford to pay their rent.
'Cause rent is too damn high!
The people being laid off right now
can't eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner!
Only a governor, like a father of a house
can put everything in control.
The bottom line is, the economic state of emergency
is the way to go!
To go, go, go, go!
This will reduce the cost, you cut the rent down
you cut the taxes down!
To give business owners a chance to hire people!
To give business owners a chance to hire people!
That is it, nothing else to be said!
End of subject, there's nothing else to talk about.
Some say, I'm a one issue candidate.
But it all boils down to one thing!
What? RENT!
Is too damn high!
The people I'm here to represent
can't afford to pay their rent.
'Cause rent is too damn high!
The people being laid off right now
can't eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner!
Only a governor, like a father of a house
can put everything in control.
The bottom line is, the economic state of emergency
is the way to go, The way to go!
To go, go, go, go!
Rent is too damn high!
The rent is too damn high. (too damn high!)
Rent is too DAMN high!
The rent is too damn high. (too damn high!)
Too damn high, too damn high, too damn high!
Rent is too DAMN high!
The rent is too damn high.
Closing statement...
As a karate expert,
I will not talk about anyone up here.
Listen!
Someone's child's stomach just growled.
Did you hear it? Did you did you hear it?
Gotta listen like me.
Because our children can't afford to live anywhere.
Once again, why?
You said it - - -
The rent is too damn high! -
9
Bankers' Song - We Didn't See It Comin
by schmoyoho 2,563,201 views
"How Wall Street Made The Crisis Worse" by NPR's Planet Money in collaboration with ProPublica: http://n.pr/aRwYgs
This song, fondly entitled "We Didn't See It Comin", by The Gregory Brothers with some help from various titans of finance, not to mention the FCIC, scrutinizing in the key of B minor.
Planet Money: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/
ProPublica: http://www.propublica.org/
Follow us on your site of choice:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Lyrics:
Were you pulling funny business while you were doing business, with everyone's money on the line?
Some of the activities we undertook .. contributed to the prevailing mood at the time.
So did you know right then it would all come crashing in,
that something funky was cookin?
We didn't know it then, or even today, when it actually crossed over into bubble territory.
So you didn't see it coming, you didn't see it coming, well didya see it coming, did anybody see it coming?
No one involved in the housing system foresaw a dramatic and rapid depreciation of home prices. No one?
Lenders,
Nobody?
rating agencies,
Anybody?
investors,
Somebody?
insurers,
consumers,
regulators and policymakers. So you never saw it coming at all?
And then when you look back, you always look back, and you look back, and you say well, these were warning signs.
And then when you look back, you always look back, and you look back, (hindsight!) and you say well, these were warning signs.
They're not obvious at the time, they're only obvious in hindsight (hindsight!).
They're not obvious at the time, they're only obvious in hindsight.
So no one ever coulda seen it comin at all!
Wellll, *exhale* I'm not sooo sure about that. -
10
iTunes Version - Bed Intruder Song
by schmoyoho 26,088,322 views
iTunes link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bed-intruder-song/id3864780
06
Tribute Album: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/official-bed-intruder-tribute/id449636007
shirt design / iTunes album art by Shelli Langdale - more of her work here: http://www.oustcat.com
Antoine's sites: http://www.antoine-dodson.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Antoine-Dodson/102461723145137?ref=ts
http://www.twitter.com/antoinedodson24
Auto-Tune the News / Gregory Brothers links:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
Send us stuff!
The Gregory Brothers
442-D Lorimer St.
#102
Brooklyn, NY 11206-1030
LYRICS:
he's climbin in your windows
he's snatchin your people up
tryna rape em so y'all need to
hide your kids, hide your wife
hide your kids, hide your wife
hide your kids, hide your wife
and hide your husband
cuz they're rapin errbody out here
you don't have to come and confess
we're lookin for you
we gon find you
we gon find you
so you can run and tell that,
run and tell that
run and tell that, homeboy
home, home, homeboy
we got your t-shirt
you done left fingerprints and all
you are so dumb
you are really dumb--for real
you are really, really, really, really so dumb
i was attacked by some idiot in the projects
so dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so
chorus
bout 5'9", 5'10"
coffee complexion, low cut like a caesar
with some little waves in his head
clean cut, very smooth face
seein my sister when i walked in
he had his hands around her neck
first thing was to pull him off of her
and that's what i did
chorus
well, obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park
are you serious, my boy?
i got your t-shirt
i got your scent
i know what shoe size you wear, my boy
so you can run and hide
but we're gonna find you, find you
chorus x2 (with ballet dancers, orchestra, choir, etc.) -
11
BED INTRUDER SONG!!! (now on iTunes)
by schmoyoho 115,929,412 views
Single on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bed-intruder-song/id3864780
06
Tribute Album: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/official-bed-intruder-tribute/id449636007
Antoine's shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Antoine-Dodson
After Antoine Dodson, a young hero from Huntsville, AL, saves his sister from an attack, he sings an important message both to his community and to the attacker himself. Evan Gregory then proceeds to play a heartfelt cover of the resulting song.
Follow the Gregory Brothers for more remixes/songifications:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Original Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-OqYZC1DA
Send us stuff!
The Gregory Brothers
442-D Lorimer St.
#102
Brooklyn, NY 11206-1030
CHORDS:
chorus-
gm cm dm 4x
bridge-
Eb dm cm gm
Eb dm cm F dm F
Lyrics:
he's climbin in your windows
he's snatchin your people up
tryna rape em so y'all need to
hide your kids, hide your wife
hide your kids, hide your wife
hide your kids, hide your wife
and hide your husband
cuz they're rapin errbody out here
you don't have to come and confess
we're lookin for you
we gon find you
we gon find you
so you can run and tell that,
run and tell that
run and tell that, homeboy
home, home, homeboy
we got your t-shirt
you done left fingerprints and all
you are so dumb
you are really dumb--for real
the man got away leaving behind evidence
i was attacked by some idiot in the projects
so dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so
chorus -
12
OBAMA SINGS KICK ASS SONG?!?!
by schmoyoho 11,416,620 views
Obama declares his intent to kick somebody's ass, though determining the specific ass to be kicked may require an executive task force. The aggression of this declaration is made all the more resounding by its delivery as a dark, looming hip hop single.
Matt Lauer and Sarah Gregory contribute vocals and interviewing expertise.
original Today Show interview:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/37566848/ns/disaster_in_the_gulf/
Produced by the Gregory Brothers:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
youtube/twitter/facebook:
http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Lyrics:
I talk to the experts
So I know whose ass to kick
So I know whose ass to ki-i-ick
So I--So I know whose ass to kick
You know, when you talk to fishermen on the verge of tears,
gets you frustrated
There has not been an idea that we have not evaulated
I would love to vent--I would love to shout and holler
But my main job is to solve the problem
This happens and turns out they've had no idea what they're doin
We've just gotta keep on movin, pushin and movin, we're gonna get through it
People, they're upset and they have every right to be
The best possible service from me is ass-KICKin
If it's the last thing I do, I'ma kick BP's ass
This is gonna be a very, very difficult task
Chorus
Mr. T / Expert
Chuck Norris / Expert
Bruce Lee / Expert
Bruce Willis / Expert
Betty White / Expert
Al Pacino / Expert
Tinky Winky...............Expert
Jack Bauer / Expert
Jackie Chan / Expert
Darth Vader / Expert
Peter Pan / Expert
Genghis Khan / Expert
Batman / Expert
THE LOLLIPOP GUIIIIIIIIILD / Ya know, I have to tell ya...expert -
13
Auto-Tune the News #11: Pure Poppycock. (ft. Joel Madden)
by schmoyoho 3,676,046 views
Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental.
Find Joel Madden online:
http://www.goodcharlotte.com
http://www.twitter.com/JoelMadden
Mike Penny shreds the shamisen. His YouTube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/mikepenny01
Need more auto-tuned news in your life? Subscribe! Or find us elsewhere:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)!
and here:
NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Gorilla: Damp rag!
NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Gorilla: Bank Clerk!
NF: Who are you? I'd never heard of you!
Gorilla: Eat my poo!
NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it's your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don't know you, we don't want you!
The sooner you're put out to grass, the better!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Bølverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Gorilla: Don't make me have to start World War III !
Bølverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
NG: We don't know you, we don't want you!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
JM: How can he read if he's dead?
KC: Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
JM: Maybe he should check his head!
KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
JM: I do it all the time, makin up s--- is so sublime.
KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
JM: You can't protect the web from a--holes like me, shorty!
KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
JM: Don't play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we're both getting owned by the
Both: Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!
GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding.
EM: I I So
GB: Explain that one first.
EM: Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they're sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! - Um. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Staffers: Naked in the tub!
EM:You can take anything out of context!
Staffers:Huggin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Scrubbin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Rubbin and humpin!
EM: Yeah!
Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin!
EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn't breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It's my fiftieth birthday.
GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
KC/JM: Pure poppycock!
GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not,
SG: you're guaranteed to get caught
Both: in an avalanche of lies!
Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin' when i'm askin' him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i'm a goner
Tryna pretend that i don't notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina!
--------
Staffers:
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain't nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape
Tryna pretend they don't notice when he ejacu- - -
14
Auto-Tune the News #9: Nobel. health care. United Nations.
by schmoyoho 3,438,202 views
presidents and prime ministers sing in harmony. Love and happiness abounds.
Donations:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
Lyrics:
HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Seamos un tilín mejores
Y un poco menos egoístas
Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Huele a esperanza
FR: In this common endeavor
Huele a esperanza
GB: All of us work together
HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
BO: We must embrace a new era of engagement
Because the time has come
UN Choir: To smell the hope!
GB: For growth to be sustained
It has to be shared
UN Choir: ohhh, We can smell the hope!
BO: The time has come
UN Choir: To smell a better world!!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere.
AG: Don't get sick
That's right, don't get sick
If you have insurance, don't get sick
If you don't have insurance, don't get sick
If you're sick, don't get sick
Just don't get sick
That's the Republicans' health care plan
CC: He has a chart
AG: An angry chart
CC: A chart that helps us learn!
AG: ooh ooh ah ah
If you get sick in America, die quickly
That's right--the Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick
AG: I agree!
CC: He agrees!
AG: Angrily!
CC: Cuz he's angry!
KO: Afford to live?
Are we at that point?
Are we so heartless?
How can we not be united against death?
Us: My BFF Gilgamesh knows eternal life's an impossible quest
The resources exist for your father and mine to get the same treatment
Us: Yeah, we're in agreement
But first we gotta lay down some
All: High speed rail
Us: Bail out some
All: Banks
Us: Save your daddy with the leftover change
KO: How can we be so heartless?
Us: We're nihilists!
KO: How can we be so heeeeaaartless?
Us: We're tryna die quick!
KO: What more obvious role could government have
Than the defense of the life of each citizen?
KC: How is the Nobel Peace Prize decided?
BS: Well, uh, that is what people were asking all day today
Bølverk: We mix a secret potion,
And roll the ancient dice,
Then hire a focus group
And have a human sacrifice.
KC: A lot of people are asking today why do you think the committee elected President Obama?
Bølverk: I believe a prize for peace should go to the biggest wuss.
BS: They were giving Obama a prize for not being George Bush.
Choir: They can smell the hope!!
KC: Take a deep breath!
Choir: And hope a smelly world!
KC: A deep breath!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere -
15
Auto-Tune the News #8: dragons. geese. Michael Vick. (ft. T-Pain)
by schmoyoho 2,913,569 views
iphone auto-tune app: http://iamtpain.smule.com/
We were honored to be joined in our newsmangling by Chairman Pain of the Federal Commission of T-Pain. Find him here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TPainVideos
http://twitter.com/DaRealerstTPAIN
http://www.facebook.com/t-pain
links to us:
t-shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
donate: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Lyrics:
JB: Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine an America. Imagine a world Where people pop the hood of their cars And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words: "Made in America."
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: Imagine, imagine...
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: That's what I want to imagine!
All: God bless y'all.
MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem. I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk.
All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk!
EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle.
EG: woo!
SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now, he has either earned or been given another chance.
SVP,EG,SG: Another chaaaance!
MR: Katie Couric is off today.
AG: But I'm still lookin at a fine shawtay-ay-ay.
MR: I'm Maggie Rodriguez.
AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let's talk about the noo-ews.
MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese And some animal activists are crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying foul.
AG: Crying how?
MR: Crying fowl.
AG: oh
MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes
AG: True.
MR: Operation Goose-Be-Gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport
Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer
Both: A wing and a prayer
AG: How many geese?
MR: Two thousand geese.
AG: That's a lot of geese.
MR: Those geese are f---ed.
AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies.
MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now
Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked.
CG: As you can see from the chart, A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon
CG: I have a chart.
CC: He has a chart!
CG: I have a chart.
CC: A dragon chart!
CG: The surtax is painful to the goose, Lethal to the goose
CC: Which goose?
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg
CC: My favorite goose
CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg.
CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked!
JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire? So many metaphors my brain is on fire. *phone* Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Aaaay!
TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls. Or else, she gon be on Very thin ice
JE: Very thin ice
KC: Very thin ice
All: Very thin ice
JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on
All: Very thin ice
MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked.
SVP: Give 'em another chance.
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg!
MR: Those geese are f----ed. Those geese are
All: Made in America, made in America
SVP: Michael Vick served his time
JE: But he's on very thin ice
All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I have a mullet.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I'm offerin you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet. piece of BREEAAD! -
16
Auto-Tune the News #7: texting. rhyming. pat buchanan fail.
by schmoyoho 2,590,318 views
ATTN shirts available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
thanks to our friend Aaron for his arresting appearance in this episode!
http://www.myspace.com/asteele
also, thanks to Tchaikovsky for providing such a fiery hook (from Swan Lake):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyotr_Ilyich_Tchaikovsky
lyrics:
JE: Let's get it right.
ABS: Let's get it right.
JE: Shawty on the mic.
AH: The fact is that right now if you are black or hispanic,
you have a much greater chance of being arrested.
JE: Are you sayin we got thugs in the fuzz?
AH: Particularly when it comes to the war on drugs.
JE/ABS: Real talk, we got caught together smokin lettuce leaves.
JE: Lettuce leaves.
ABS: They put me in the slammer.
JE: They gave me a college degree!
ABS: WTF?
JE: In biology.
ABS: He don't know a tiger from a giraffe.
DB: It is painful, it is shameful.
ABS: Disdainful! I'm on parole.
JE: I'm keepin my glass of champagne full
top of the world.
ABS: Brick on my ankle.
DB: If you are stopped by the police
Putcha head down and just wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Don't say nothin.
ABS: Shh.
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Putcha head down
ALL: Do the dance now!
DB: Putcha head down and just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
ALL: Putcha head down, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
AH: This is happening all the time
It's really stunning
-------------------------
PB: This has been a country built by white folks.
100% of the people who wrote the Constitution,
100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence,
White folks, Whi--i--i--ite folks!
I look at the track team, and they're all black folks.
I think maybe those are the fastest guys we got.
Fastest guys in the country,
Fastest in the wooooorld.
Black folks, Bla---a--a--ack folks!
SG: WTF? I think I'm having an stroke,
Suffering a white guy overload.
Doctor, doctor, can a shawty get a shot to the frontal lobe.
OH.
AS: It's not always just black and white, black and white.
We're fighting right now for a young white male
Who we felt the police abused by sticking something in his rectum.
EG: Why they gotta disrespect him?
SG: Can we please move on now, Reverend?
AS: Sticking something in his rectum.
-------------------
DL: Trouble, we got trouble right here in Capitol City.
With a capitol T, and it rhymes with B, that stands for broke!
CC: We broke!
DL: Right here in Capitol City, right here, we gotta figure out
a way to help the Americans who are about to choke!
CC: No joke!
DL: Oh yes we've got trouble. Trouble, trouble.
CC: Triple trouble.
DL: Trouble, trouble.
CC: Big time trouble.
DL: T! Rhymes with -
CC: P!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: C!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: G!
AG: I'm angry!!
DL: Rhymes with D.
And it stands for Democrat.
CC: Oooh.
-------------------
KC: Texting while driving is dangerous, dangerous.
EG/SG: Treacherous!
MG: Perilous!
KC: People who were text messaging were 20 times
more likely to have an accident than those who were
talking on phones instead of typing. Just say no.
EG: But I'm a sucker for peer pressure. My thumbs can't stop!
KC: Get a designated texter.
MG: [sexy breathing] Ow!
KC: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
ALL: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
---------------------------------------- -----------
find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews -
17
Auto-Tune the News #6: Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin.
by schmoyoho 4,290,206 views
ATTN shirts now available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
disclaimer: DON'T TAKE PILLS WITH GIN! (OR ELSE YOU WILL WAKE UP DEAD!!)
the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)--find the original song here:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=287197640&s=143441
Lyrics:
NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let's get our debate on--1,2,3
MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It's one of the two
liberty or tyranny
EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!
MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It's our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?
MG: it all depends--who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate
NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let's vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don't forget about jobs
Speaker: Those in favor say "aye".
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, "no".
JB:
Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
Let's allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
---------------------
SP:
I'm not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I'm not seeking re-election, I've determined that it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.
RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?
EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!
CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.
MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table -
WK: She's really all in.
But it's high risk.
JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!
----------------------
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?
JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin
What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?
JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it's unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals
-----------------------
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone--
SG: --He told you so
BO: --one day we're going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
.......whoo!
---------------------------------------------------
find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews -
18
Auto-Tune the News #5: lettuce regulation. American blessings.
by schmoyoho 2,630,644 views
find us on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
and/or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
Lyrics:
ML: Any world order
That elevates one nation over another
Will fall flat
SG: Ah, snap
ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
JB: God bless America!
All: Ay!
JB: Gah-awd bless America!
All: Ay!!
JB: God bless, God God bless
God bless America!!
All: Ay-men!!!
SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it...
MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit.
SB: You smoke your lettuce.
MG: Believe me, I've tried.
SB: You're gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato - burnin salad in my throat!
RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
MG: You can warn me all you want, but you'll never stop my leafy green fetish.
SB: It's not the nicotine that kills! It's the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it's the smoke. Heart disease: it's the smoke. Respiratory disease: it's the smoooooooke! It's the, it's the inhalation, it's the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it's okay. It's the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
KC: Some companies say they've received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
EG: Shawtayee, don't you know
That Air Jordan was from meeee?
KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
And carried a walking stick
EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
Don't stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
EG: We can be
KC: Bringing on the boogie
EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
Both: Bringing on the boogie
EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
LC: We've got some breaking news
Let's go to Tracy Burns--she's got all the news
TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
I don't know what the hell's goin on
Or where the camera belongs
Let's go to Nicole
NP: Me?
Robert: Yeah, you
NP: Me?
Robert: Baby boo
NP: Me?
Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
NP: Me?
Robert: Nicole don't know; let's throw it to Joe
Joe: Uh, you know, I'm, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
Breaking news guys, um
I, I don't have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
I'm afraid
LC: Okay, that's okay
But the basics of it is
Clearly this is a fascinating story -
19
Auto-Tune the News #4: spa regulation. serbians. sotomayor.
by schmoyoho 2,158,137 views
Urgent issues call for equally urgent harmonies, and they are provided by politicians, pundits, and gorillas alike in this chapter of news opera.
Lyrics:
EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh
MG: I agree
EG: Where all the shawties on the court?
JS: It's ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn't seem right to me.
EG: Ain't nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.
MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.
EG: When the court convenes it's an ancient sausage festival.
MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..
BB: There are so many qualified women out there.
MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.
MB: I completely agree with you.
EG: And I complete agree, too.
MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain't a man?
BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she's really very lonely without another woman.
MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!
EG: I know what it's like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.
MB: Breaking news!
EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!
MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.
EG, MG: She's a shawty, She's a Boricua!
EG: Jurisprudent!
JS: With soft thighs!
MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.
EG: because she ain't
All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!
EG: Listen up, y'all, Joe Biden's got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians
JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives
KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I'm gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You'd better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I'll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you're in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it's healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I'll say it's healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain't tryna munch on a poison zucchini
NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts
AG: I agree--I'm an angry gorilla and that makes me angry
JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy
AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I'm angry
NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas
All: Portable electric spas!
MG: No spa is above the law!
NG: Now, I don't know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that's in this bill
AG: So it's true!
I'm no longer angry at you
My original anger's renewed
JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn't offend you
AG: He might have a point
My anger's makin a switch
Cuz you're being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you're just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What's this? a single tear that is wet that i shed
When an angry gorilla cries
Who's gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla's depressed
Who's gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete
And I'm a soulja, but a soulja's got feelings,
Don't know whom to lend my anger to,
And that's why I'm crestfallen and confused
Shawty -
20
Auto-Tune the News #3: cuba. afghan friendship. 2-party woes.
by schmoyoho 2,811,535 views
Zach McNees helped mix:
http://www.zachmcnees.com/
Lyrics:
EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement
Umm, I was even a person who thought
You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point
SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town
EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited
Anywhere around me
EG: Does baby need a tissue?
Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you
Before you caught him creeping with the Shih Tzu
RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos
RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude
Their attitude, attitude
MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do
To make a change
RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms
They have to believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!
MG: You saying Republicans on crack
Are you cozy with the Democrats?
RP: I just don't think that either party
Right now offers a whole lot
MG: You'll see some real change
From the 3rd party at my house
Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out
Triple rhymin with Joe Biden
While we Imbibin Hennessy
Come on over--drinks on me, homey
HK: We'll be friends with you
AZ: And bff with you
Main Damies with you
HK: And colleagues with you
AZ: I'll be in your crew
HK: I'll be in yours, too
AZ: Jumpin rope with you
HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you
AZ: Hatchin plans with you
HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you
HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan
Can achieve lasting progress
Without the full participation of all of your citizens
Including women and girls
AZ: Having a barbecue
HK: Grilling a goat with you
AZ: Grilling terrorists, too
HK: Getting matching tattoos
HC: The rights of women must be respected and protect--
AZ: --Picking flowers with you
HK: Hot showers with you
AZ: Falling in love with you
HK: Nude at the zoo
AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon
KC: It would be one of the most dramatic
Foreign policy about faces ever
AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee?
KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end
The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba
AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta
KC: It has only spotty support so far
But President Obama's already taken some baby steps
Letting Cuban Americans visit family members
And send them money
But for most of us it's still a place that is
Strictly off limits
AG: Not for this G
I just went there illegally
Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me
On national TV?
Don't fret--the people think I'm joking
But guess what (what?)?
I've never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee
KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago
AG: That's 50 years
KC: During the Cold War
Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy
But the Soviet Union is long gone
AG: Disbanded:
KC/AG: Long gooooone!
SG: Dick Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who's your damie?
DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh
In terms of being a Republican I'd go with Rush Limbaugh
My take on it was Colin had already left the party
SG: I don't think that actually happened
[awkward silence]
This is an awkward silence;
I guess I'll fill it with ad libs
Oh! Shawty! Yeah
EG: Whoo! Aaaah
KC: Now it's up to Fidel and Raúl Castro
AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado
KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms
Particularly on human rights and free speech
So congress will be looking for signs of change
After almost 50 years
AG: Ay, that's half a century
KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight
Relations remain chilly
But for the 1st time in generations
A thaw is possible
AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw?
What exactly is thawing?
KC: Very, very, very, very
Very thin ice
AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice
Follow us on twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
or facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Gregory-Brothers/46060559283 -
21
Auto-Tune the News #2: pirates. drugs. gay marriage.
by schmoyoho 8,303,644 views
For the second time, pundits and news anchors urgently break into song to deliver the news.
The players in the news opera include:
Ruth Marcus on gay marriage
Kiran Chetry on marijuana
Sean Hannity and Hillary Clinton on pirates
Katie Couric on melting ice
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442-D Lorimer St.
#102
Brooklyn, NY 11206-1030
Lyrics:
RM: This was a pretty remarkable week on the gay marriage front
First of all, to have a state like Iowa
MG: Whatchoo tryna say about Iowa
RM: Not the east coast state
MG: East coast
RM: Not the left coast state
MG: Left coast
RM: In a decision written by a republican appointee
MG: shawty, now you sounding so fine
Give me your number, we can bump and grind
Talkin about politics all night
Leavin the club in the mornin light
If we get carried away
We might get gay-married today
KC: We just heard from some of our viewers who strongly support legalizing marijuana
MG: Shawty, 5 of those calls was from me
KC: Do you think we should legalize pot alone or all drugs, including heroin, cocaine, and meth?
MG: My brain says no, but my body says yes!
AG: I'm an angry gorilla. I heard you needed me (ooh ooh ah ah)
SH: Now that Captain Phillips has been successfully rescued
The president has decided to step in front of the spotlight
AG: Ooh, I'm angry! You can't see it, but my forehead's veiny
SH: And even take some credit for authorizing the mission
AG: Well, don't you worry, baby boo
You'll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you
That's what I do. Just ask Donkey Kong. He's in my crew
KC: At the North Pole, new satellite photos show arctic ice is melting so fast
AG: Oh snap, how fast?
KC: Many scientists now predict it will be gone within 30 years
AG: Surely you jest! I'm under cardiac arrest, shawty
KC: Some researchers think it could disappear in just six
AG: Shit!
KC: Without it there could be a snowball effect
AG: Oh
KC: With temperatures rising even faster
If we all don't take bold action and take it soon
AG: Yeah,
Both: We will find ourselves on very thin ice
MG: Tell em, Hillary, pirates on very thin ice
HC: These pirates are criminals
They are armed gangs on the sea
MG: That means the ocean
HC: The United States does not make concessions
Or ransom payments to pirates
...
MG: Hello, shawty, we can meet up at the mall
Browse around at the bookstore
Mentally ball until we fall -
22
Auto-Tune the News #1: march madness. economic woes. pentagon budget cuts.
by schmoyoho 4,781,382 views
Interviewers, sportscasters, and vice presidents alike break into song to report important news. The players include
my homey Sarah Fullen Gregory (she married my brother). You can find her music here:
http://www.myspace.com/sefullen
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sarah-Fullen/8570601474
Newt Gingrich (on nuclear disarmament)
Robert Gates (on cutting the Pentagon budget)
Jim Nantz (on March Madness)
Joe Biden (on the economic situation)
Wayne Ellington (on how it feels to win)
Lyrics:
MG: Mr. Gingrich, what do you think about Obama wanting to cut down on nuclear weapons? In the key of C. And...go!
NG: Uh, I just think that it's very dangerous to have a fantasy foreign policy
And it can get you in enormous trouble
MG: What's wrong with fantasy?
I like fantasy and I live in the sea
RG: We must rebalance this department's programs
In order to institutionalize and finance our capabilities
SG: Yeah, forget about the jets;
Use our super soakers, get al quaeda wet
JN: Tar Heels: rolling on to Monday night
Another convincing Carolina victory
SG: Ooh, that's cool, but it ain't time to pop the hennessy
JN: Michigan State: heading to the national championship game
Your team responded late here, coach, how did you do it?
MG: Three words: Vi ag ra.
JB: There will continue to be job losses
The remainder of this year
The question is will they continually go down
Before they begin to rebound
Before they begin to rebound
Will they go do-do-do-down
Before they begin to rebound
And now it's my pleasure to present the 2009
National Championship Trophy
To Coach Roy williams and the North Carolina Tar Heels
You can just tell the unity you had
It's something very special
And we saw it on the floor tonight
SG: Oh yeah---
Michigan thought we was playing some football
Lions' stadium; they played like the Lions
Throwin interceptions in the first down
Watchin us dunk on their ass
Goin home cryin
Congratulations Wayne
I know you're emotional
Talk about what this feels like
WE: Feels great. You know,
You never know what this feeling feels like
Until you experience it.
It's something that you really can't explain
SG: Yeah, believe in your dreams
MG: Yeah, you know you can never explain the unexplainable -
23
The War On Drugs Is a Failure
by schmoyoho 569,265 views
To celebrate 4-20, A bi-partisan panel of politicians somehow come to a unanimous agreement that The War on Drugs is totally effed up.
Guest Starring Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes. Subscribe to their channel!
http://www.youtube.com/user/seesmod
Watch a cover by Andrew & Michael here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY46pYW3isw
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FREE!?! A 21st CENTURY MIRACLE!
This video was originally part of The New York Times Op-Doc series, curated by Jason Spingarn-Koff:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/19/opinion/gregory-brothers-the-war-on-drugs-is-a-failure.html
our stuff that you should click, to be happier:
YouTube 2! http://www.youtube.com/thegregorybrot...
Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
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Lyrics below:
We need to repeal the whole war on drugs
It isn't working
We don't have to have more courts and more prisons
This has to change
This has to change
Prohibition didn't work
Prohibition on drugs doesn't work
We have spent over 400 billion dollars
It's a waste of money
We need to come to our senses
Let's put down the guns and unclench the fists
We need to come to our senses
Yeah, we don't treat alcoholics like this
We need to come to our senses
Prohibition failing harder than 1926
We need to come to our senses
We don't treat alcoholics like this
Too many people doin' time
Somebody tell me - when did recreation become a crime?
It's bright-eyed kids we're sendin into prison
They go in as superheroes and come out supervillains
Could have had more Einsteins, more Magellans,
But we made a thousand Al Capone level felons.
Take out a dealer and ten more appear
So let's ban curing cancer, we'll cure it within a year.
We need to come to our senses
Of 50,000 arrests, 82% were black and hispanic
These arrests stigmatize, they criminalize
Making it harder to find a job
Making it harder to get into school
Making it harder to turn their lives around
It must end and it must end now
The war on drugs, while well-intentioned, has been a failure
We're warehousing addicted people every day in state prisons
Giving them no treatment, sending them back on the street
And wondering why they don't get better
Why they commit crimes again
Well, they commit crimes to support their addiction
The war on drugs is a failure
Put down the guns and unclench the fists
The war on drugs is a failure
We don't treat alcoholics like this
The war on drugs is a failure
Prohibition's failing more than in 1926
The war on drugs is a failure
We don't treat alcoholics like this
The cops got better things to do anyway
Like stop real crimes instead of wasting time
Chasing that mary jane
Stoned people don't start fights
No, they don't
Stoned people don't rob banks
Not even close
The worst thing stoned people do
Is steal their roommate's oreos
And that's a misdemeanor at most
A misdemeanor at most
A misdemeanor at most -
24
Obama Goes Ham
by schmoyoho 1,194,305 views
George Watsky tour dates: http://georgewatsky.com/tour
his channel: http://youtube.com/gwatsky
In his 2013 State of the Union address, President Obama calls attention to the opposition party's lack of compromise and the abundance of Snooki tans.
Our 2nd Channel: http://youtube.com/thegregorybrothers
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mastered by dan millice - http://www.danmillice.com
singing by stephon lamar - http://www.youtube.com/stephonlamar
LYRICS:
hey, what up it's been a while
how's your wife, how's your dog, how's your child
let's do this everybody listen to this
time for the state of the union
last year was wack but now we got a new one
fresh out the shrink wrap and i think that
if we try, we can do what we never thought we can do, son
because our asses aren't quite as broke
and our foreign policy's not as much of a joke
dreamin up imaginary enemies and droppin bombs like we mixed mushrooms and coke
so listen up kids let me teach you about the government
guys wearin ties all decide how all your money's spent
i try to make as much change as i can
but i can't seem to get it past man with the spray tan
this year i won't abide by that
imma introduce john boehner's face to my pimp slap
believe me, 2013's gonna be
the best damn year your grandpappy's ever seen
and no one can stop us from makin history
not even the man whose orange tan is a mystery
why would he want to be so tan?
is he an oompa loompa out on the lam?
why would he want to be so tan?
is he snooki & jwoww's number one fan
it's really weird to be so tan
you lie
the constitution is orange and so am i
In you're in need or got lots and lots
if you're clean or you're on the rocks
if you're a heeb or a proper WASP
I don't give a HOOO if you're green like you're roger klotz
or bright red like sriracha sauce
forrest gump told me life is a chocolate box
you never know what you're gonna get
so love every flavor like you got a big crate of otterpops
baby this america
bright orange, be carrot top
grow up to be president
you could be a dinosaur
you be a triceratop
I got a terra cotta body and a lot women want it baby I'm so orange
red White and orange
freedom is a word that rhymes with orange
alright someone get me a tissue
i'll compromise on the skin tone issue
but if i do you compromise too
instead of bitchin about all the things i do
according to the haters, i do everything wrong
alright, then put your tin foil hats on
if you blame me for stupid shit, i'll show you what stupid shit is
from now on, we all follow sharia law, bitches
nah, i won't abide by that
imma introduce john boehner's face to my pimp slap
believe you me, 2013's gonna be
the best damn year your grandpappy's ever seen
what about 1999? NO
what about 1865? NO
what about 1777? NO
what about 1611? HELL NO
what about 1539? NO
what about 1455? NO
what about 1334? NO
or -6 when Jesus was born?uh uh
what about -413? NO
when greece was still a democracy? NO
what about negative a million one? NO
when a dude was born with opposable thumbs? NAH
what about negative a hundred million? NO
when dinosaurs were smashin and killin? NO
what about the year the Earth was made? WELL...
and Ice Cube said it was a good day? MAYBE
