 I'm really not sure what being productive is supposed to look like at this point. I'm also not sure that I'm supposed to be productive at this point, but I feel like so pent up and just like I need to do something. I just need to accomplish something productive or adult or creative or something. I don't know. I need to find something to do to fix this. So that's what we're going to do today. We're gonna fix it. Getting dressed seems like a good, good step to take. More put together. I feel a little bit more put together. When you're on the couch, it's just so easy to stay there. Like I'll wake up, I'll get some coffee. You can just fall into this deep dark hole of staring at a screen. Now on to the next thing. By the way, how white do I look under these lights? Like I look like I am the same skin tone as this, which is literally white, white, white. I think there's this weird paradox that starts happening when you're home for days on end. If you're like sick or recovering from something or have to take it easy, where you have to take it easy because that's what you're required to do for your body to heal well and not push things and all of that. You start feeling a lot better. Like you can do things. Like you can be fully functional. And then you start feeling like you're crawling out of your skin because you can't do what you want to do, but you have to do things. And I think I'm not making any sense today. I'm just losing my mind. So here's what we're gonna do. I am going to stretch because that is something I am allowed to do as long as it doesn't hurt too much. It is something a healthy productive adult would do. And so I'm going to replicate my idea of a healthy productive adult today. Side note, I just looked in the viewfinder. My leg looks so tripled up because I haven't been able to actually work it in so long. That's weird looking. Oh well. I wanted to talk a little bit about staying sane when you are home alone for days on end. Something that I have found really helps. And I talked about this a long time ago in one of my first videos is still having some kind of goal. Realize that probably sounds really basic, and it's really hard for me to get myself to stick to sometimes. It's hard for me to get myself off the couch because if you're stuck at home and you don't technically have a schedule you have to stick to, it's really easy to do literally nothing. But when you do that for days on end, you start feeling like terrible. So a goal that I set for myself during this recovery was to learn Final Cut Pro. I edit my videos. I shouldn't say this on camera, but on iMovie, which is terrible. I actually know a bit about video editing, but it's been a while since I actually worked with Final Cut. I do have it thanks to a job a while ago that put on my computer for me. I need to actually learn to use it. I told myself I will do that for an hour today. I don't feel like doing it. I don't want to learn anything. I just want to sit like a bump on the couch and do nothing. But I also know that it's not going to make me feel better. That's not going to propel me towards anything in life. And I am currently feeling up to it. So let's do that. Now that I have learned a little bit, I wanted to move on to something else that really helped me, especially when I was first adjusting to not having a leg. I made a list of things that I could actually do. I felt like there was nothing in my control, nothing in my power, and something that really helped me was having a physical list that I could look at of all the things that I could still do. There were still in my control. There were still in my power that I was still physically and mentally capable of. So I actually wrote down a list of what I can still do. For me, this was almost like an exercise in gratitude. Like, these are the things I am so physically capable of, mentally capable of, relationally capable of. This is what I can still do as a person, and it really helped me keep my hands around what I am in control of, because I think when we feel out of control, it's really easy to spiral. And so I am going to spend some time writing down that list again, because I am beginning to feel a little bit like I'm spinning. And if I can write down five things that I am in control of, five things that I can do, usually that gets my brain going, and I end up thinking of way more things than that. There's so much that you can still do, even if it doesn't feel like it, even if I don't feel like it right now. So I'm going to spend some time right now writing down that list. Okay, so I said I was going to write down five things, but then I decided on ten, and then I just kept going. Like I said, for me, when I start training my brain to think about the things that I still have power over, that I still have agency over, that I can still actually do, it starts making more connections and realizing, oh, I can still do that, and I can still do that, and I can still in control of that as well. So some ideas, some examples for me, was I can still call a friend. That's real groundbreaking, isn't it? I can text my mom back. I can sketch my environment. I can still do art. Practicing silence as an actual silence with nothing on, no music, no audiobooks, no nothing, which is really hard for me, but I can do that right now. I can plan out the next month in my bullet journal and organize for the future. Do ten push-ups because, gosh darn it, I am still capable of that. That's probably the only physical feat I can currently do, but that is one thing. Those are just examples of some of my things. What are some of yours? Comment down below what some things that you are still in control of are even if you feel like the rest of your life is spinning out of control. And I am going to go hang out with my rats because they deserve it. They are such sweethearts. I haven't been able to see them in a couple days really. Well, I'm like the first couple days after surgery just because I didn't want to risk any, like, kind of infection or anything like that. So let's go hang out with them. That's a good idea, right? I made it, guys. I wish that I could show you what it looks like. I'll probably have Brian do this when he gets his GoPro. What it looks like for me to try to go up and down the stairs we have because we live in a trilevel house with wood stairs. We have no carpet in our house unless we, like, put a carpet down. It's great for pets that way, but it's terrible if you are on crutches or on stables. So frankly, I mostly hang out in the downstairs living room because it's on the first level. I don't have to deal with stairs. It's safe. It's easy to get up to, like, the bedrooms or to see my rats or even to the kitchen. I have to go up hardwood stairs. And I feel like I'm risking my life every time I'm doing it. Stairs are definitely doable, but they do pose a problem. Has anyone, like, found any stair hacks? If you guys are stuck at home with one leg or on crutches and have a house full of stairs and have to use them. It's made here, the black and white one. Used to not even climb on the cage bars when the door was open. And then she would, like, put one foot or two feet on the cage bars, but she would never, ever step on hardwood. And now look at her. Is it safe? See if we can get her a little further. She knows she's not supposed to be there. I've taken off every way she ever has gotten on there, but she always finds a way back. You're very pretty, Ran. Oh, don't hurt yourself. Well, I'll be honest. I feel significantly better than I did when I started this day. I feel like breaking that initial feeling just gross and stuck and uncomfortable and lost and all of that is one of the hardest things to do. And sometimes I'd say most of the time I think the hardest step is literally getting dressed or washing your face or whatever it is for you. For me it was standing up and putting on a new sweatshirt and then hoodie. I mean, I don't know if those count as real clothes, but we're going to pretend that they do. I feel like I've gotten pretty talented at staying at least somewhat sane, being alone so much of the time, being home alone so much of the time. I know a lot of people really don't do well with it, but I've figured out ways to, like, stay happy, stay content, be able to, like, learn things and do things and being an introvert definitely helps that. There are times when I just hit a wall and I just feel lost and uncomfortable in my skin and unproductive and stuck and, like, I can't do anything, but I also don't want to do anything, but even if I wanted to do something, like, what could I do because I'm so helpless and, like, all of that, and it's this internal dialogue that isn't accurate and sometimes the best thing to do is just simply to get up. And if getting up and getting dressed is my grand achievement for the day, well then, you know what, that's okay. But I do think it's really important to keep habits, to keep some kind of loose schedule for yourself, even if it's just you, even if it's just you home alone and you're not responsible to anyone or, you know, anything else. It's a weird existence and it can kind of start to feel like the rest of the world doesn't exist and, like, you're an alien on a different planet and I'm focusing on what you're in control of and taking time to do something that's enjoyable, that's more than just, like, sitting and staring at a screen, like, going and hanging out with my little rats and taking care of them, I think is really important. It's those little things. Thanks for being here with me and letting me share this day with you. Let me know what your tips are if you've ever been stuck at home for days on end or just feel like everything's spinning out of control. How do you keep your head on straight? Like, what are some tips and tricks and ideas that you have for keeping sane when you are stuck at home for whatever reason? Let me know in the comment section. I look forward to talking to you guys then. I love you. I am thinking about you guys all the time and I'll talk to you soon. Bye, guys.