 We all live in a world where social intelligence and first impressions matter. So today, I'm going to cover the last third of one of my favorite books, How to Talk to Anyone by Leo Laundice. Hey brainwash friends, I'm Aaron Tupaz of Positively Brainwash, and if you haven't seen the first or second part yet, then you can click on the I on the top right. But without further ado, let's begin! The first tip is to simply understand that many successful people in big shots are busy and are difficult to get a hold of. You will often get ignored and some of them even have secretaries or someone to screen calls for them. And some of these gatekeepers are very well trained and have many tricks up their sleeves. They may say something like, oh of course Mr. X, I'll put you right through. Now when the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr. Big is unavailable, callers don't usually take it personally. So some of the next tips will help you bypass them. Tip number 64 is to always try to greet the secretary, spouse, or the family members of whoever you're trying to reach and understand that they have lives, feelings, and names too. So try to get to know them a little better. They have a lot of influence in whether you will be able to contact your target person or not. This is important even in business meetings and parties. They might even put in a good word for you. So take the time to get to know them. Tip number 65 is to ask if it's a convenient time to talk. You'll never get a big no because your timing wasn't right. You can then ask when they'll next be free to talk. Next, if you have an outgoing voicemail message, change it from time to time. This goes for when you have to send emails or invitations. Personalize things if you can. This makes people feel special. Tip number 67 is to clear your throat when you make a call. If you're sent to voicemail, pretend it's a big Broadway producer saying, Next, this is your big 10 second addition to prove that you're worthy of a callback. In today's social media and texting world, try sending a creative and personal video message instead of a simple old boring text message. Next, if you want the gatekeeper to think that you are buddy buddy with the Avoid using your target's name. Just let the pronouns he or she roll off your tongue. Don't say, uh, may I speak to Mrs. Big, please? Just announce. Hi, Bob Smith here. Is she in? This will make you sound as if you know your target. Next, if you're in a call with someone and you hear his or her spouse in the background, be prepared to stop speaking in mid sentence if necessary and say, I hear your spouse or I hear your dog, baby, your phone or whatever. Ask whether they need to attend to it. Don't hold people hostage from what they need to do. Now, whether they actually need to attend or not, this tells them that you are sensitive to what's going on in their world and that you're a top communicator for asking. Tip number 70 is to record your business conversations and listen to them again. It's like football fans who often don't know if there was a fumble until they see it all over again in instant replay. Even on the second and third time, you may pick up on significant subtleties that you missed the first time. Next, when you're in a party, avoid holding food and drinks when you're interacting with the big shots. If you have ever lived in a farm or have a cat or dog, you would know that animals hate being disturbed while eating. When big shots scan a party room, they will pass right over you if they see you munching. This is why many politicians eat before they come to a party. They know that any objects except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. So decide if you're coming to a party to munch or mingle, but do not expect both. When you arrive at a gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then slowly survey the situation. Let your eyes travel back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a heartbeat to wipe out anything that moves. It's important to note that you shouldn't be thinking, look at me. You're doing this to diagnose the situation you're walking into. Take note of the lighting, the bar, music, and see who is talking to whom. Then use the next tip to decide who your first, second, and third target will be. Tip number 73 is to not stand around in a party waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere he or she will be. So approach who you think is worth approaching. If you don't know what to say, you can try. I'm Todd. I wanted to talk to you. Now to smooth a potentially awkward moment, you can quickly ask questions like, how do you know the hostess? Or do you live in the area? Next, you should also learn to become a human magnet and not a human repellent. Learn to stand in an open body position, especially your arms and hands. People instinctively gravitate towards open palms and wrists. You can check out my video on body language for more details on this subject. You should also position yourself in a high traffic area like near a doorway where everyone must pass through. Tip number 75, like an air traffic controller, you should track the tiniest details of your conversation partners, such as how their business is doing, their family, or any trips they're planning. So the next time you meet, your first words can be, hello Joe, how was your trip to Germany? Did your kid make the baseball team? Talk to them as if they are a star or major news story as if the world revolves around them. Next, right after you have talked to someone, write down keywords like their interest at the back of his or her business card or in your phone. So the next time you meet or message that person, you can try to toss references to their favorite restaurants, sports, movies, or drinks. You can also put them in separate lists on your Facebook based on interest, so you can share posts that are relevant to them. Next, the human body is a 24 hour broadcasting station that transmits. Always pay attention to your target's body language like if they are giving you eye contact and showing interest, or if they are starting to look away or closing their body language. If they are creating a wall, you can try making them interact with a prop, like showing something on your phone based on your common interests. If you can change people's body language to something more open, then you can change how they think. Tip number 78 is to be deaf to your target's cops, sneezes, burps, and hiccups. It doesn't matter how meaningful your bless use are, nobody likes to be reminded of their human frailty. If it's something very big, like your target spills something and creates a flood on the table, try to keep talking without missing a syllable of your sentence. Now if your target keeps apologizing, just say it's nothing and keep talking like it's no big deal. Next, when someone's story is aborted, let the interruption play itself. Give everyone time to awe on the little cutie, give their dinner order, or pick up the broken plate that fell. When the group reassembles themselves, simply say to the person whose story got interrupted, now please get back to your story. Or better yet, remember where they were and then ask, so what happened after the... The next tip is to mention the respective benefits when you ask a favor from someone. Tell the person what's in it for you and what's in it for the other person, even if it's nothing. If any hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled as a sly fox. Let the person know how much it means to you because sometimes the joy of helping you out is a reward enough. Next, whenever a friend agrees to a favor, unless it's very urgent, allow your buddy time to relish the joy of his or her generosity before you take their time. How long? At least 24 hours. Tip number 82 is when you do someone a favor and it's obvious that he owes you one. Make sure you wait a suitable amount of time before asking him to pay. Let him enjoy the fact or fiction that you did it out of friendship. Next, it's important to know that parties are one of the three most sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the toughest tiger knows that he must not attack. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings. Now the next most guarded safe haven is the dining table. It's okay to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business, but avoid any unpleasant matters. The big shots save all that for the conference room. Now the same rules apply in the social jungle. If one partner in a friendship or a love relationship has relationship issues to discuss, save them for after dessert. Even if you don't solve the problem, you want to enjoy the delicious chocolate souffle. The last safe haven are chance encounters, like when you coincidentally meet someone. If you're selling, negotiating, or in a sensitive communication with someone, do not capitalize on chance meetings. Simply keep the conversation sweet and light. Big winners make it safe for each other to accept invitations to play golf, spend the weekend in their country homes, or relax by each other's pools, where they know there will be no sharks swimming in the water. Tip number 86 is to empty people's tanks. Any kid working in a garage knows you can't pump more gas into a full tank. So before you pump your ideas into your listener's brains, let them talk first. Everyone has their own thoughts, worries, and enthusiasm. This is how you can get your own super supreme ideas to flow into their tanks unpolluted. The next tip is if you're in customer service or you're dealing with someone in a not-so-happy emotional state. Not only should you listen to them first, make sure you empathize and show that you truly care. Use words like, I understand how you feel. Oh, that must have been awful. Or, I'm sorry we caused you this pain and aggravation. This will often calm them down, and then you can use the next technique. Tip number 88 is to make your mistakes a chance to make your victims benefit. If you're in customer service or you just angered someone, it's not enough to just correct your mistake. Consider giving a discount, free gift card, or products, free dessert, or free anything. Next, whenever you catch someone lying, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don't confront the dirty duff directly. Unless it's your responsibility to catch or correct the culprit, or you're saving other innocent victims by doing so, let the transgressor out of your trap in one piece, then resolve to never interact with that person again. Tip number 90 is when people provide you with excellent service. Tell them they're great and ask for their boss's contact info. Write a letter telling their boss how great the employee was. You can even use a template. Then you can send these letters to managers of stores you frequently visit and to the bosses of people you often do business with. You may even get lots of customer privileges, like parking privileges, great customer service, immediate callbacks from banks and insurance agents, discounts, and much more. Next, no matter how prominent the big cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy cat who is anxious about the crowd's acceptance. Big winners recognize you're a fellow big winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive reaction. So be the first to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with or want favors from. And the final tip is to recognize the great scorecard in the sky. Any two people have an invisible scorecard hovering above their heads. The numbers continually fluctuates, but one rule remains. The player with the lower score pays humble and respect to the player with the higher score. The penalty for not keeping an eye on the scorecard is to be thrown out of the game. Remember, good relationships are based on win-win, so it's important to give favors as much as we ask for them. Watch this video that YouTube is recommending for you, or D, tell me to go to hell.