 I apologize to change the tone a little bit but definitely one has to react to the realities that are around them and a chover of mine a friend of mine that I studied in Yeshiva at a Kotel with a lifetime ago. Bayali was saying that he was a class behind Eli in MTA for those I'm sure everybody's heard but we lost the hero of Klal Yisrael, somebody who lived for Am Yisrael, for Eretz Yisrael, and for Torah Yisrael, Ari Fold, Ari Yol Ben Yonah, and I thought that the learning that we can do this evening could be as chus for his Neshama, that anything that we learn that we gain hopefully the actions and the mitzvahs that we do as a result of it should all really accrue as chus to him. I also noticed that because we didn't really know what to do about an admission and didn't want to feel like you had to, but we said just give to Tadaka because it's always a good thing. Perhaps maybe if people go online on Facebook you can probably find the GoFundMe page. They're putting together our reliefs behind the beautiful wife and four wonderful children and we all know how hard it is to put food on the table and on any given year let alone for the rest of one's lives. I'm sure Klal Yisrael will be there for them. It's more of our chus, our opportunity to be mishtate, to help and be a part of that as well. So when I introduced the evening to our Shul and encourage people to come out I said that it's a couple of rabbis, everybody's speaking for 10 minutes, it's starting at 7.45 so we should be over at about 9.30 or so. The just question is who's going to go the longest and how much time is left at the end. But I think specifically the idea of the Shuls getting together is something very special. The Gemara and Sotah says that there was someone sitting on his deathbed, right, the Talmeetim of Rebellazar bin Shemua comes up to him and says, but Maharat al-Yamim, why did you live such a long, healthy life? And he says, I'll tell you why. He says, for my entire days I never made my Shul, my base kinesis just a shortcut, a place I popped in and popped out. It really became an essence of a person's community where they spent time, they got involved in. Do you need them to join boards? Join boards. They made themselves indispensable to the community to help build a stronger Jewish people. And I think that Toronto is blessed to have tremendous Shuls up and down Bathurst Street and off Bathurst Street and that ultimately the strength of the community, as much as people think that, you know, there's many organizations out there, from birth to Admey Abbas and Shana, Shuls really function as such an important entity. And to have people like Rabbi Karfunkel, like Rabbi Sittner and others throughout the city is a big sluss for us to have. Without further ado, the first one to step up will be the first one to speak. A big cover to have Rabbi Karfunkel. It is a great honor for me to speak here because I'm here with two very close friends of mine. And in the zechus of the learning we're going to do tonight should be a merit for the Neshama of Ari and his family. And his family should have much strength knowing that Playa Israel, the Jewish people are behind them. I find it always very difficult because every unisana toka, fashashana and yom kippur we say uteshuva, utefila, utzedaka. That archuva, our tefila and our tzedaka make a difference, it makes a change. And yet 10, 20, 30 days later we're in the same boat. And so what I'd like to offer is a suggestion, really a prerequisite to how we can accomplish eternal teshuvah, tefila, utzedaka. And I'd like to suggest it's from a mishnah, a story about two basketball players and something that happened to me two weeks ago. The mishnah is as follows. The mishnah says, I say to you, you have to make for yourself a rabbi and you have to acquire a friend. Why is it that making a rabbi and acquiring a friend are different? Acquiring a friend is something bigger. You make a rabbi, but you have to acquire a friend. More effort has to be taken place. Why is it that the mishnah creates a second level when it comes to making friends? So perhaps the greatest basketball player of all time, one can argue LeBron James, Michael Jordan, but the last player that averaged 50 points a game in a season was none other than Will Chamberlain. And one game Will Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. That record has never ever, no one ever came close to that record. The amazing thing about that record was as follows, is that Will Chamberlain was a horrendous free throw shooter, a career 40% free throw shooter. When you shoot a basketball during live play, people get it in 50% of the time. But when you're on the free throw line, when there's no activity, when you just have to shoot, the league averages 75%. Well, Will Chamberlain, even though he was an amazing athlete, he was almost like a ballet player, even though he was a seven footer, averaged 40% from the free throw line. And yet on that night, the night he scored 100 points in a game, he was 28 out of 32. He scored 28 of his 100 points on the free throw line. How did he do it? And the answer is, is because that year, he switched. He switched from taking a classic free throw shot, an overhand shot, and he took what we call in our vernacular, the granny shot. He took the ball in between his legs, remember when you couldn't lift the basket because it was too high, and you went one, and you went two, and you went three, and he threw it, and he got in. So many free throws that that year, he said, that's it, I'm moving to the granny shot. If he would have stayed that way, he never would have scored 100 points. Here's the kasha, here's the question. The next year, he went back to taking regular free throws, and he wasn't taking the granny shot anymore. In fact, there's one basketball player in the whole of fame that took granny shots his whole career. From the Golden State Warriors, none other than Rick Barry. They asked Will Chamberlain, and he wrote it in his book, why is it that you moved, you were the greatest basketball player of all time? During the end of games, you were taken out. How nebuch is that? Imagine LeBron James, the last minute of the game, he gets to sit on the bench. He wouldn't stand for it, and yet the coach used to take out Will at the end of every game, because he couldn't hit a free throw shot. Why would they, why, why, why did you change? And his answer was simple. All my friends were making fun of me. Can you imagine the greatest athlete of his generation changed the whole trajectory of his career because of what other people said about it? Rick Barry, he didn't care what other people said about it. And yet why is it that no one has adopted in the last 30, 40 years the granny shot, the Rick Barry shot in between your legs? They said about Rick Barry, that everyone in the NBA fell into two groups. 50% disliked Rick Barry, and the other 50% hated Rick Barry. He was a perfectionist. He didn't tolerate anyone. Everyone got under his skin. You know, two weeks ago I drove, I was so excited to do a special mitzvah. If you've ever paid a Shiva call, sometimes it's with trepidation. And when it's an old friend, there's a little bit of excitement, the shock value of you arriving at your friend's house to give him some strength. And so my friend's father passed away suddenly. I knew his dad. And of course, Shiva is not really seven days. It's a myth. Shiva's like, like five hours when you think about it, right? Because the Shabbos and Friday, the day of the funeral, the day they get up, you blink and Shiva's over. How many of us said, Oh my gosh, I got to go to Shiva. So that was me. I'd like that one day. So I went on the websites. And even though I live in far as till I felt I cannot afford a cheap ticket to New York. So I got in the car and I drove and I drove and I drove and I drove and I drove and I drove and I drove and I drove and I got to my friend's house Sunday night at nine o'clock. And I opened the door and he sees me and a tear goes into the corner of his eye and a tear goes into the corner of my and we sit down he explains to everyone there. He actually became a rabbi as well, who I was and we talked and we reminisced. And after 25 minutes, I got back in the car back in New Jersey, back from Pasek, New Jersey, and ready to drive as much as I can till I was tired. And I was going to pull over as much as I can back to Toronto. And I'm thinking about something he did in my life that was very special. We went to the elementary school together, but we also went to high school together MTA. And in MTA, he was friendly with a lot of boys from sleepaway camp and I was friendly with him. And so the first day arrives and I'm so excited because I'm in high school and I go to the college cafeteria, the YU cafeteria. So excited I take my money, I buy food, I sit down on a table, there's hundreds of tables in this university cafeteria, high school kids all over hundreds of kids, college kids, everyone's all over. And I realized that I was the first one to buy food for lunch. And I was by myself on a table. And lo and behold, all the tables start filling up. And the table right next to mine, I'm from Staten Island with the Brooklyn kids. And they all started piling up and schmoozing with each other, looking over at me by myself, with a big sign over my head, I am a loser. And lo and behold, my friend Avram Shulman walks in. And Avram Shulman went to sleepaway camp with the Brooklyn boys, but he was my friend from Staten Island. And if we could, if he could read my mind, I was saying Avram, sit with the Brooklyn boys, save yourself from four years of being a loser. Sit with them. Don't worry. Like in the westerns when they say go on without me, I'll sit here and die. And lo and behold, Avram sits down next to me. And he says pick up your plate. Let's go over to the Brooklyn table. Let me introduce yourself to all my friends from camp. I'm thinking about the story as I'm driving all the way back, one of the many stories of my great friend, Avram Shulman. And I see a call from a New Jersey number. I have two brothers from New Jersey. And, you know, I see it on the radio, my brothers will call me when I sleep by them, I pick it up. And it's my friend Avram. It's one o'clock in the morning. He says, Ellie, I'm about to retire. I just wanted to tell you two things. First of all, so great to see you meant so much to me. But I just want to tell you on a shock level from zero to 100 of seeing you tonight. It is a big fat zero. I was zero shocked. I knew you would be there for me. I had to pull over as tears are rolling down my face when I realized what I meant to him and what he meant to me. That's friendship. We talk about a sailor carav going to a rabbi. The laib Simcha says that a rabbi can bring you to the level of fear of God. But only friends can bring you to the level of love of God. Because there's a disconnect with rabbis, let's be honest, we're on our best behavior when we're on when we're on rabbis, when we're with our friends, when they know our foibles and our mistakes and their sins. And I'm not so perfect around them. But they build me up and I build them up. And so you want to take a shortcut. You want to be good not only with the Chuvah and feeling at Sadaka, not only during Yom Kippur, but the week and the months and the years after any eternal greatness. Can you look over acquire a friend acquire a friend that believes in Chuvah, not just repentance, but a returning to God as a value pick those friends. Pick a friend that believes in Tfilah, not in Lush and Hara, but in Lush and Tov. Pick friends that use their mouths for good things, positive things. And at Sadaka, let's pick friends that believe in charity, not only putting money in the Pushka, but spending their time doing acts of kindness. And in the merit of us not behaving, not being so afraid to have good friends like Will Chamberlain and becoming the friend that Rick Barry could have had. Imagine if Rick Barry was that guy, everyone in the NBA would be shooting underhand now. Let's learn from Wilts. Let's learn from Rick. That's more importantly, let's make a commitment this year to find the right friends. And then we will have the eternal Utoshuva, Utophila, Utsadaka that we all yearn for. Thank you so much. I must say that I'm humbled to be able to be speaking in the presence of Rabbi Karfunkel and Rabbi Lipner. I must say that they are an inspiration to very, very special people. And for those of you that are part of their congregations, you know, Rabbi Karfunkel just talked about Selecha Rav. This year, I think one of the biggest brachas, gifts that we can give to ourselves is to get close with these two individuals because they are really an inspiration. So thank you for allowing me to be here and join you, the two of you together. About 10 years ago, on Arabium Kipper, I was sitting at my table. And I had opened up my Yom Kipper Moffzer. And the true story, out of my Yom Kipper Moffzer, a piece of paper falls out. And I look at the paper, and it was the notes that it had written from the previous year of everything that I had wanted to accomplish that year, the chuva I wanted to do, how much change I wanted to make that year. And I had specifics of what I was going to work on that year, where I was going to be in a year from then. And my heart dropped at like intense anxiety and fear. When I read the paper, and compared it side by side with the notes that I had written that year for what I wanted to accomplish. Because the two of them were practically identical. I'm looking at all the things. This year, I want to be patient. This year, I want to be patient. This year, I want to work on my anger. This year, I want to work on my anger. This year, I'm going to dub from a sitter. This year, I'm going to dub. And I'm thinking to myself, a year went by. What happened? I said I was going to do all these things. A year went by. What happened? And I don't know if this is something you can relate to, but I find this regularly that a year will go by. I'm working on something. I say I'm working on it. And after that year, there I am again, a year later, I'm like, I'm like kind of in the same place. Like I'm still working on it. It's a work in progress. Okay. But like, what happened? Why is it and I don't know if anybody here finds this. But year after year, we're facing the same issues, the same problems, the same avarice. We're doing Chuba for the same things. We tell us on this year, I'm not going to do it. But again, we're, we're again, we're saying I'm sorry, Ashamedu, but God knew I did it again this year. So I have an idea that I want to share that perhaps can shed light and when implemented may be something that will actually change the Chuba to a point where you won't be facing the same thing in a year from now. So I have to take a couple of steps back first. When I was growing up, my grandparents are Holocaust survivors. And so when they were naming their children, they gave them Hebrew names, which we all went by, which my parents went by, but they also gave them nice American English names. And so too, when my parents were naming all of us, they named us all Hebrew names, but they gave us really nice English American names. Okay. So I was given the name Tvi. I was always given the name Tvi. I always went by the name Tvi. Yeshiva, school, friends, family, etc. Always Tvi. However, I also was given an English name. Everybody likes smiles and waits for this moment. I don't know why that's so funny. I recently said this and everybody laughed when I said my English name. And it's okay because we're before you in Kipper, you can all do Chuba. So I was given an English name, the English name, let's just say it was Brian. Okay. Because that was the name. And so I always went by Tvi, but you know on my passports and the driver lessons, all that, it said Brian. So throughout my life in secular environments, I found myself using the name Brian and everywhere else I used the name Tvi. I was 27 years old. I'm in a counseling program. At that point, I already had a, I was already practicing as a rabbi, but I went back to school for counseling degree. And I was placed in an environment where it was a drop-in center for clients who had multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, things of that nature, which are very serious. But as I went in there, I kind of wasn't sure, Tvi, Brian, which one did I go with. So I meet one client, Tvi, nice to meet you, Brian, nice to meet you, Tvi, nice to meet you, Brian, nice to meet you. And these guys are going, wow, we love this guy. He's one of us. Right? Eventually my supervisor calls me in and she says, she looks at me and she says, who are you? I was like, what do you mean? She said, are you Tvi or are you Brian? I said, well, it depends on who I'm with. So she said something to me, which I'll never, ever forget. She said, you need to decide who you are, regardless of who you're with. That's what I want to talk about now. What's our name? What's our identity? Who are we really? There was a study done by Dove, the soap company. And they brought in a FBI trained forensic artist named Gil Zamoro. And they asked Gil to sit on one side of this curtain, this mojica. And they tell Gil, you sit here. On the other side of the curtain, they're bringing a group of women. And they asked each woman, can you please describe yourself, look in the mirror and describe yourself, and Gil will draw a portrait. They then brought in another group of women to describe the same women who just described themselves. And Gil again drew a portrait based on the stranger's description of what these women look like. They then compared side by side the self-described portraits against the stranger's description of this other woman. And I want to share the results with you, but I want to first share a medrish with you. The medrish teaches that every person is called three names, every person has three names. The first one is the name that your father and mother give you. It's that moment they look you in the eyes, little baby, and they say, ah, how adorable, Rachele, David, Sarah, Maishi, Aaron, Brian, whatever, they look at your name, and they give you that name. That's your first name. The echad in the second, ma shakorm lo benayadim. It's the name that people give you. But I want to expound upon, perhaps we can say, we can expound upon this idea of what the second name is. This is the name, the second name is the name that you get from society. It's the name you really give yourself through interactions you have with other people. I believe this name starts when you're let's say two years old, you're home, and you find a big black magic marker, and you go up to your mom's beautiful white suede couch, and you make a beautiful, beautiful picture on the couch, right? And your mother comes home and she looks and she goes, no, no, no, bad, bad, bad. And she's yelling at you and you go, no, no, no, bad, bad, bad. And that's part of your second name. And then you get to school. And in school, you're placed in a certain class level, and you kind of assess how smart I am or not. You know you're somewhere near the smartest kid in the class, and you know that he's so smart or she's so smart, and you know you're not them. I see this with my own kids, they come home, do homework, all of a sudden they can't do a certain math problem or a Pusk and Chlemish. I'm so stupid, I'm not smart, I don't know anything. So-and-so, Benjamin knows it better, and Sarah, she knows everything, and I'm so stupid. Where do they get this from? They've concluded all these things about themselves, that their intellectual level is this, and that's part of their second name. And they interact socially, and maybe you're part of the cool social group like Robert Carfunkel. Or maybe not! Maybe not! Maybe he never felt included. Maybe he never felt popular. And that was part of your second name. Maybe they was bullying. And you grow up, and you're dating, and dating for marriage, and you're in marriage. And maybe you use healthy relationships and healthy dating. Maybe there was abuse. And you concluded, I'm not worthy, I'm not loved, I'm not lovable, so on and so forth. I'm not capable of growing. I'm not so frum, I'm not so religious, I'm not as religious as that person. And all that becomes part of the second name. Perhaps you've made mistakes in your life. Maybe. And as you've made mistakes, you define yourself based on your mistakes. This is who I am. I'll never forget that one. I'll never live it down. So they compared the two portraits next to each other. The self-described portrait and the stranger's description. They then showed the portraits to each woman. And one by one, and you can see this video looking up afterwards, it's very powerful. One by one each woman starts to cry because she sees that everyone else who looks at her sees a beautiful woman. But when she looks at herself, she doesn't. Why? It's because of our second name. It's all the stuff that we picked up that tells us we're no good. And we're walking around now in our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 20s, 30s, whatever age you are, we're still walking around with that second name. How do I know? Because every single year when we say we're going to do chuva, we end up in the same place a year later. It's that second name. It's holding us back. You know, when when Adam was created, we just talked about Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah was the day that we talked about Adam being created. And then Rosh Hashanah itself was created. And what's Adam's first name? Adam. There you go. And then what happens? Adam goes and he's told, right, don't eat from the ate's of dots. And he goes and he eats from it. And immediately after eating from the tree, what is Hashem's initial reaction? What does Hashem say to Adam? Adam, ayyekah! Where are you? Now it's a very strange question considering there's only two people in the world at that time. Like Hashem couldn't find him. Where are you? They're hiding, go seek. Where are you going up? Where are you going to hide? There's only two of you, okay? It's not like you're in New York City. There's millions and millions of people. What is Hashem asking? All the before Hashem say, what is Hashem asking? Where are you? Hashem wasn't saying ayyekah. Where are you? The same word ayyekah can be read, eichah. Eichah. How has this happened? Meaning what has become of you? Meaning who are you? When I created Adam, when I created every human being, you were good at your core. There was nothing bad about you. Nothing about you wanted to do anything bad. And look what happened. And now Adam, I know you think this is you because you're hiding, you're embarrassed. So you think that you are your hate. But who are you? That's not you. That's not the one I created. Why are you viewing yourself that way Adam? Thankfully though, we have a third name. And the measure says, the eichar ma'shakona hu la'atzma. And the third one is the one you acquire for yourself. Tov me kula ma'shakona hu la'atzma. And the best of all of them is the one you acquire for yourself. We find this with Yaakov. When Yaakov is born, he's given the name Yaakov. And there's a postage that one of my friends pointed out to me, which was amazing. Ace of his brother uses the name Yaakov. But he uses it as Yaakov. Which means you have deceived me. He took his name Yaakov, the good name he was given, his first name. Yaakov. And maybe Yaakov believed this. I'm a deceiver. That's me. That's part of my second name. Maybe Yaakov, I don't know, I'm not saying, but maybe Yaakov concluded, look at this. I have a father-in-law who's deceitful. I have a brother who wants to kill me. I have a daughter who was raped. I have children who kill each other, who throw each other into pits and so on and so forth. And they're fighting. Maybe I'm a bad father. I don't know what was part of his second name. But what I do know is that Yaakov then faces the ma'alach of Asa. He faces Asa's angel. And they wrestle. And it's a spiritual fight. And it's a physical fight. And he wins. And what happens after he confronts that second name, after he confronts Asa? He gets a new name. What's his new name? Israel! What we learn from this is an amazing thing. How do you get your third name? How do you get past your second name? How do you get the name? How do you acquire name for yourself? You confront your second name. You think to yourself, where do I want to be this year? I don't want to speak Lush and Har anymore. Okay. I want to have good friends. Okay. I want to get, I want to get more seductive. These are the things that I want. I'm looking, eye on the prize. Here's where I want to go this year. You're focused on it. You know what you want to acquire, what you want to change about yourself. You know the truly you want to do. But then what happens is all of a sudden the second name creeps up. And each year what we do is we reset our goals. I want to get there. Again, we eye on the prize. I'm going to do it this year. But perhaps what we're not changing is the second name. This year I want to wake up. I'll give you an example. This year I want to wake up for Davin. I want to get up for Davin. I want to come to to Rabbi, Rabbi Lipner's million every morning. I'm just so tired in the morning. So don't set the goal again that you're going to go to Davin. Yes, that should be the goal. But don't leave it at that. What about the fact that maybe you're lazy. Maybe you need to work on yourself disciplines that you go to sleep earlier. This year I'm not going to talk Lush and Hara. Maybe you have to get to the root of it. What's the second name? Maybe the second name is I'm no good. And I only feel good when I put other people down. So find out, ask yourself what's really getting in the way of the chula that I want to do. We all have a first name. We have all acquired a second name. But this is the year to acquire our third name. To really, really see who we are. And to be able to focus on the third name. Here's what I want to get to. And all the second names that come up to get rid of them. To really address them. A therapist, a friend, a ruv. I want to just end off concluding with a quick story. There was a story they tell of this lioness, a pregnant lioness. And she goes out one day hunting and she sees this flock of sheep. And she runs after the flock of sheep and she pounces on one of them. And as she's pouncing on her prey she doesn't even realize but she gives birth among the sheep. And she returns home and this little baby cub is born among sheep. And this baby lion never sees another lion in its life. And it just grows up saying ma, ma. Funny scene. And that's what the lion does. And he spends his whole life grazing with the sheep. Until one day he's a full grown lion. And another lion comes hunting and sees this flock of sheep and is about to go pounce on one of the sheep. And what does he see in the middle of the sheep? He sees a lion. And he goes, what's a lion doing there? That's crazy. So this lion who's hunting runs out and instead of attacking one of the sheep jumps right on this lion that thinks it's a sheep. And the lion that just got attacked who thinks this sheep looks up at this fierce lion and says ma, ma. Please don't kill me. And the big lion realizes what's going on. So he grabs his mane in his mouth and he drags him over to the water. And he forces this lion, this baby lion who's now a big lion who thinks he's a sheep. He forces him to look in the water. And for the first time ever this lion who thought his whole life that he was a sheep, he looks in the water and he sees I'm not a sheep. I'm a lion. And he looks up at the big lion. And the big lion lets out a roar. And for the first time ever the lion who thinks he's a sheep also lets out a massive roar. We're not sheep, we're lions. This has got to be the year where we get in touch with that, the real name, our true name. We should merit this Khosary fold. We should merit to be able to really really overcome our second names, to be able to merit to become the people that we should be and to acquire our third names this year. For its fee you should know not accidentally, nothing's accidental that to get into our inner lion we're learning this Khosary. Ari means a lion. And while I had many thoughts and Khashbonos of what to speak about today, I was really quite deeply impacted by the events today and it sort of shifted a little bit of where my head was. Very often through life we're going through so many different things, so many different choices that we make. And the idea of Chuva, whether choosing the right friends, getting in touch with ourselves, understanding who we are. It sounds simple, but there are so many choices to make. And the question is how can we really make the right choices or could we perhaps boil down the choices to a choice? See for me to make 500 right choices is extremely difficult. But I have the strength perhaps to make a choice, one right choice. And the question is out of all the choices that I could make, what choice should I focus on? I think part of the beauty of the Aserisme Chuva, the days between Rosh Hashan and Yom Kippur, is we just sort of slow the pace down a little bit. We take a little bit more time to reflect. We're not moving as fast anymore in what we call the human race, perhaps because we're always racing. And we get to think a little bit. Now they tell a story familiar with Moshe Dayan, one of the greatest military generals of all time. He was driving his car and sure enough he was speeding. He's going a good 50, 60 kilometers over the speed limit. Mishdara, police pulls over the car. He's not even looking at the individual. Rolls down the window. Excuse me. No, he couldn't say excuse me. It's an Israeli police. Sir, you were speeding going 50 over. That's a ticket. Hands on the ticket and the person inside the car, Moshe Dayan says, do you know who I am? And he's about to say I don't really carry looks and he sees Moshe Dayan. Everybody knows what Moshe Dayan looks like because not only was he the greatest military leader that the Jewish people had in Israel, but he also wore a patch. So you knew Moshe Dayan if you knew anybody. Ben-Gurion had the hair. Moshe Dayan had the patch. Sorry, sir. I didn't realize it was you, but you were speeding. Come here. Tell me, how many eyes do I have? Cop's feeling extremely uncomfortable at this point. One, sir. He says, so I have one eye. With that one eye, do you want me to look at the speedometer or where I'm going? See, very often we're so busy just running so fast in so many places that we don't actually look. Where do we want to end up? The Rambam, always when you study Maimonides. Maimonides is very particular in his words. He doesn't just say things as nice paragraphs. Each word is used for a very specific purpose. In Hilkhus Chuvah, which I recommend if people are looking for readings, the Rambam impurets in English, 10 chapters for each of the 10 days. You're behind so you only got a few days left to go to catch up. He's talking about what's your choice because at the end of the day, free choice, free will is part of our essence. That's why Rosh Hashanah and Kippur matters. Or else if we're programmed, it's not up to us. It's not our fault. So he says as follows, Rosh Shus Kola Dam Nisuna Lo. Everybody's got their own choices. You've got permission to do anything. It's an unlimited amount of options at any given moment. Imrat Sala Hattos Asmol Liderach Tovah, if you want to turn to a good path, Lios Tzadak and the Atzadak, Harish Shus Bi Odo, right now everyone here can be Atzadak Satsadeikas if they want it to be. Don't think, oh, that person over there, they were created with DNA of righteousness. I'm created with DNA of just normalness. Everybody in this room and you have to believe it. You have to believe that you're capable of actually being that Atzadak. At the same point in time, Imrat Sala Hattos Asmol Liderach Raah, if you want to go down a bad path, Lios Rasha, Harish Shus Bi Odo. Two people at the exact same point in time. One person is then not being, not exactly what they thought they would be. They were circulating a little while ago, I think, a video down from Florida where there was someone who was charged for, I think, grand theft. And sure enough, the judge, after she goes ahead and says the sentence, asks where he went to school. And I think she finishes it because they were both in school together, in high school. And now she's the judge and he's the convict. But they had the exact same opportunities starting off. So we have to believe both of those are on the table and they never stop. The question is, how do I get there? That's the hard part. I really would like to be the Atzadak. So how do I get there? So I always thought the most important word in the Rambam was either words like Tovah, if you want to do Derakhtovah, the good path, or Atzadak, or Derakhrah, stay away from the bad path. But then I realized that there's a word that comes first. The word is Imratzah lahatos. If you want to turn in order to be Atzadak, a righteous person. Or if you choose to turn towards a bad path. Meaning, if I were standing at this place, and I wanted to go to my in-laws who live up in Thornhill, granted I've got to get my passport, it's a whole long trip to cross, and get up there. But the reality is, all it is is one turn. I don't have to think how many to get there. Go to turn and then like most of us, we space out when we're driving. What? I didn't realize I got there already. Because you're just going Yashar straight. But that one turn takes you in the direction you want to go. If I go out and make that one wrong turn, end up at the waterfront. It's not really a matter of the destination figuring out how I'm going to get to the point that I want. It's a matter of deciding which way do I want to be faced this coming year. Ever since we're kids, we come home with school with those little scales. And we know that when we read the books, the good books and the Atzadak books were already sealed. The Russia books were already sealed. That was Rosh Hashanah. And now we're all around because we're sort of what's called Benonim. We're in the middle. So what does middle mean? We're neither the good people nor we're not that terrible. We're Benoni. We're average. We're in the middle. And kids come home thinking that that means what? It means Rafi Lipner has done 964,532 mitzvahs. And lo and behold, I've also done whatever that number was, Averus. So it's like hanging in a balance. It's like, oh my gosh, which way is it going to turn? So I've got 10 days to just sort of get a little bit more. So we're all unbelievably made it so that to this day, we're exactly equal with our good deeds and our bad deeds. Is that really possible? It's not really possible. Thanks for nodding. So what is it? Sort of Kutner in the Pachet Yitzchak explains as follows. He says it's not a matter of how many good deeds or misdemeanors you have. It's a matter of what do you want to be. The people on Rosh Hashanah who determine to themselves, that's it. I just want to live the most righteous, idealistic, meaningful, fulfilling life. And everything's got to serve that purpose. How I communicate with my spouse. How I interact in business. How I go ahead and treat my rabbi. How I go ahead and draw everything's got to go ahead about Sadiq. So that person, they're done. The rest of the time, they're just figuring out how to get there. People who said, you know what, this whole Jewish thing, it just meant too much. At the end of the day, I just want to work, do my thing, go up to the cottage and that's it. Not that that's evil, but that's kind of my, that's my goal. Okay, they made their goal. But then a lot of us are in this Benoni stage. I sort of, I feel like I want to do more. But sometimes I, you know, I don't know if I can and we grapple with this. And therefore it's like we're standing at this fork in the road and we can't go anywhere because we haven't decided which path we want to take yet because we're so worried about where that path, how am I going to get there? But the Rambam saying, don't worry about how you're going to get there. Just decide to take the turn to go on the right path and look ahead at where you're going to go. That in of itself, if you turn to the right path, then you will start heading down that path. So everything that Rabbi Karfunkel, Rabbi Sittner spoke about, if I choose, you know what, I've got friends, certain types of friends. I've got friends that I grew up with in high school who happen to be in from Israel, right? I have friends who I got at college. I have friends who I chose, friends who I inherited. What are the friends I really want to get me there? Just make the choice. Whom am I going to surround myself with for the important conversations? And just make the choice. Don't worry how and where it's going to lead, but surround yourself with that. Am I going to take time to go ahead and figure out which identity of mine is most important? Is my identity, is it not, is it Jewish, is it not? Figure it out. Just make the choice to go down the path. And ultimately, when it comes to, I believe, Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is one of the most beautiful times where we turn to God and we finally say, I figured it out. I know exactly what I want. And then my favorite time of the year is Na'ilah when we close the doors. And often we think, wait, the doors are closing and we're about to get our last sort of words in there. Wait, God, I got one more thing. I forgot. I got one more. So I saw a beautiful explanation that Na'ilah, the closing of the doors is actually the doors close and you're on the inside. And God says, come here, Avinu, my father, my mom, right? You're my child, my son, my daughter. Tell me, what is it that you really want this year? No one's around. It's just me and you. Doors are closed. You've been thinking about it for 10 days. Just tell me which direction you want to go and the Talmud teaches us. The sages teach us whatever path we want to achieve. God says, I'm there. I got your back. I'll help you down that path. I'll send you the right friend. I'll send you the right moment. I'll send you the right class. I'll send you the right strength. All you have to do is tell me what do you really want? May we be socha. May we merit in this wonderful city of opportunities. I believe it's doesn't take miracles for God to send us the right opportunities. It takes us to space, spend the time to figure out what it is that we want. And then I believe there'll be an abundance of opportunities sharing our way. I think one of the most important ways to get there, and if I can actually ask Rabbi Sittner and Rabbi Karfunkel to come up, I think one of the most important things I know I struggle with this also is the realization that the Jewish community is something that's really strong when we're together. The actus of the community, the strength together. I remember, I don't know that much about basketball, but I remember, what's his name? Little guy, Isaiah Thomas. The Isaiah Thomas movie. He spoke about why Isaiah Thomas made it. He says they had a tough growing up, but his mother treated them all like a bunch of sticks. They're a bunch of kids, and they realize if each stick was on its own, you can snap it. But if you bring all of them together, and you bind them together, it's impossible. There's no strength that can sit there and snap those. So I think perhaps maybe it's going to be a shame not to utilize the opportunity for us if we are sitting there and saying that this is besklus, the future of the coming year. Anything that really happens up until Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, was already goes there from the year before. So the whole 12 months plays out on things that are going to happen. So perhaps maybe we can offer Tfilah together, and we can go ahead and maybe Da'van as a K'ilah that we give each other the strength, that our community the strength, K'al Yisrael the strength. Maybe we have the opportunities to get together on these occasions. I definitely feel humbled to be flanked by not only the rabbis on my side, but the community that's here as well. And may we really be able to merit to see a year that is not only good with good things, but also sweet and enjoyable, not only sweet that's enjoyable, but good for us as well. And may we ultimately see the coming of a much better messianic time in Herabiameno. Amen.