 Welcome to Red Hot, welcome to Radiant Church. It's good to see everybody this morning. We are going to be talking about some Red Hot issues. We're going to talk about specifically singleness. So if you are a single person here or watching online or at our Portage Campus, this is your opportunity to ask some questions about that. Dating, that should only be single people unless you're dating your spouse. Don't be thinking about broadening your environment of dating. If you're married, looking around at other options. And then we are going to talk about sex. I think it was great to watch Pastor John say, sex in church. And then like qualify it with boundaries. No, we're going to talk about sex. And the reason why we're going to talk about these subjects in church is not to be provocative. It's not to be controversial. But we're living in a very sexualized culture that has all kinds of different pervasive views, worldviews, philosophies about what's acceptable, what's not, about sex in general. And God in his word has a lot to say about that. And if we are silent or if we never talk about these subjects in the context of God's perspective, who's the creator of all of these things. And if we're doing that and we're not talking about it because we're uncomfortable about it, then we're only letting the devil and the world have a voice into these subjects. And God wants to speak into our lives on these areas. So we're not going to do it to just kind of be out there. We want to do it respectfully, but we want to do it transparently and honestly. So all of these subjects, singleness dating, sex, sexuality, boundaries. We're going to talk about those issues this morning. We're going to take your questions. So if you haven't already, make sure that you go to radiot.church slash red hot, text in your question. If you're joining us online, you can also do that as well. Portage we expect to hear from you this morning as well. And let's go ahead and let's take our first question. This is John from Richland. Is it true that the first time you took Jane out to dinner you ordered a side of figs and kept holding them up asking, is this a date? Yes, it's absolutely true. Actually, on our first date, I said to Jane, it's like, hey, maybe I've got a Bible on and I've got the book of numbers, but the only number missing is yours. That's how I got a date with her. And she said, well, that's great, but have you read the Bible in the book of Job and do you have one? So those were our pickup lines. And look, it worked. We've been married almost 28 years. Marital bliss. So thank you, John. All right, this is another John from Portage. Is sex itself a sin in a dating relationship or other sexual acts also a sin? So great question. Thank you for your transparency. And the answer is yes. And sex outside of a covenant marriage relationship, the Bible describes it as sin. It covers it under a very big category called sexual immorality. You may have read through your Bible and run across different words that you don't know exactly what they mean. One of those words is the word fornication. You might look at that and say, I don't know what that means. Fornication actually comes from the Greek word pornaio, and it means sex or promiscuity outside of a covenant of marriage. Sex, here's what we need to understand, that the way that the world views sex and the way that God created and plans sex are two vastly different things. Sex itself is nuclear. And what do I mean by that? It's nuclear in this way. You can take nuclear power and you can provide electricity for an entire city with nuclear energy. But if you take that same nuclear energy and you misuse it, it can actually destroy an entire city. It's the same power. It's the same gift. It's just used differently. The way that God created sex, the way that he viewed sexuality, is number one, that it would be a bonding agent. In our world, the world's philosophy is that sex is recreational, sex is just physical, and it's all about pleasure. And so, if we view it only as that, if we just say, well, it's just physical. It's just our two bodies kind of doing something. It's like exercise. It's pleasurable. It's fun. Why not do it with as many people as you can, as many different ways as you can, and explore sexuality, then we're viewing it only through one lens. But when God created sex, how many know God wasn't shocked when he created Adam and Eve, brought them together, and they found sex? Their bodies were wired for sex, as well as their emotional drive and their desires were wired toward sex. And the reason why God didn't stand back and go, I had no idea they would do this with their bodies, wasn't like mankind, hey, I've got this cool little thing. Let's try it out. No, God intended for them to be drawn together and for them to physically come together as a bonding agent. Sex is a body, soul, and spiritual bonding agent. And the reason why God limits it to marriage is not to be a killjoy. It's because ultimately, when two people come together in a covenant, which means I'm laying my life down for you, you're laying your life down for me, and we're making a lifelong commitment to one another, marriage then becomes the safest relationship that we have in the entire world. Marriage becomes a safe environment where it's self-sacrificial, where we're laying down our lives for one another, we're committed no matter what to one another. Then we can become transparent, we can be vulnerable, and we can actually be physically, emotionally, and spiritually naked with one another. And in that, be bonded together and have pleasure together. The world says there's no commitment, it's a hook-up culture. Do whatever you want to do as long as it feels good. And we have no idea that while you are physically connecting with someone sexually, you're also bonding yourself spiritually and emotionally to that person. That's why we have so much, I think that there's a correlation between the rise of depression, anxiety, suicide, and insecurity with the rise of sexual, quote, freedom. Because it really isn't freedom, it's bondage. You've given yourself to someone. Paul says in 1 Corinthians that when a person has sex, they're actually becoming one with that person. Well, that's exactly what God said in the beginning. The two shall come together and become one flesh. So think about that. If you've had 50 partners, I read something recently that said that the average college student who graduates in a particular place in the United States, I won't mention it, but college university, by the time they've graduated from college, they've had a minimum of 15 sexual partners. That means that you have bonded yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically with 15 other people. That means that obviously there's the physical ramifications of that sexually transmitted diseases. But did you know that there's also things that are called spiritually transmitted diseases? That means if somebody has issues, spiritual issues, demonic issues, addictions and bondages and iniquities, you get those as well. Those because you're joining together as one. And so the devil wants to flip sex, turn it into something that's all about liberty as a means to actually bring you into bondage. And so when we're talking about dating, yes, sex in the context of dating is simple. And if you're asking anything that is a sexual act, is it also sin? The very fact that the word that you use to describe the act is a sexual act means it's sex. Sex is sex, and it doesn't depend on what your meaning of is is. When we had a president in the 90s that made, and it's not funny, but when he stood in front of Congress and he said, it depends on what your definition of is is, and it was related to oral sex, what you will see in our culture among young people is there was a massive spike in junior high and high school kids that began to view oral sex as not sex. Because if the leader of our country can say that it's not sex, then what we're telling our kids is you can go ahead and do that. If you do in moderation, your children will do in extremes. And what we've seen in a generation is an increase in a rise in that. What God's looking for in us is purity. He's looking for purity of heart. Not trying to find what's the line that I can get as close to and not be in sin. He's looking for us to be pure and honoring and reverential to those that we are in relationship until you put a ring on it in the words of the great theologian Beyonce. If you like it, then put a ring on it. You can commit to it for life, and then you can have all kinds of fun. God's not against sex, go have lots of sex. Have fun sex and do it in the preface of your own home but within the confines of the marriage covenant. All right? So that's my answer to John. Not sure how I'll pronounce this name. I'm gonna say Dare or Dari, but it's online. Hebrews 4.15 says Jesus was tempted in every way. Did Jesus struggle with same-sex attraction? Recently Netflix, I think, put out a series on TV where Jesus is portrayed as a same-sex attracted individual, a gay man, which I think is blasphemous and I think is just horrible, and it shows you just how debased our culture has become. Not because same-sex attraction in and of itself is worse than other sexual things, but it's whoever wrote that script knew how provocative and how insulting that would be to the person of Jesus and his followers. Now, here's what the Bible does say. It does say Jesus was tempted in every way. That doesn't mean every single sin that any human being has ever been tempted by Jesus was. It just meant every category in every way. Jesus was tempted with appetites. Jesus was tempted with anger. Jesus was tempted with fear. All of these types of things came at him, except it says he did not sin. Jesus was tempted in all points, but without sin. So we don't know exactly what came towards Jesus in specific terms. We don't know what levels of temptation came against him, but what we do know is when it came to sexuality as a whole, that desire, that drive to have sex or to want to self-satisfy or experience that pleasure or that level of intimacy, what we do know is that in some way, shape, or form, Jesus understood that and experienced that. We don't know exactly how that manifested, but here's what I would say about Jesus in relationship to his disciples. Because many people, I've read this multiple times in different literature that's pro-LGBT or wanting to bring gay rights to the forefront, especially in the church. As they'll say, well, obviously Jesus was gay because he traveled with 12 disciples, 12 men. And you know what, that is so diabolically destructive because Jesus was friends, Jesus was a mentor, and I think it is such a shame that we live in a culture where you can't be close to anybody of the same sex without there being an assumption that there's a sexual relationship taking place. We've lost our ability to be pure, to have friendships that don't go sexual and to believe the best, and that affects our ability to mentor and disciple other people. So I don't know exactly what Jesus was tempted in. Here's the thing I will focus on. If you are somebody who has struggled with same-sex attraction, the fact that you have been tempted by that in and of itself is not sin. If you have sexual, heterosexual temptations not given into them, that in and of itself, the temptation is not the sin. If you're married and you have been tempted by looking at somebody who's attractive, but yet you don't allow yourself to give into that, I taught my son when he was a kid that you need to learn to bounce your eyes. So you look at someone and it's like, oh, it's like learn to bounce your eyes. The fact that you're human and you're attracted, that there's an attraction isn't sin. It's what you do with that. It's what you do with that attraction. So if you are somebody who is same-sex attracted, here's what I would tell you, that Jesus understands sexual temptation and he can also give you the strength and the power to resist it and to overcome it because the power of the Holy Spirit who is greater on the inside of you is greater than he that is in the world. So there is freedom from temptation, okay? Travis online, if you have a child with a person but are not married and now no longer can get along, do you have to stay because of the child? Well, let me just say this to you, Travis. If you are not married to this individual, you should not be living with them in the first place because having a child does not make you married. Living in the same household does not make you married. Those are things Jesus met the woman at the well who was a Samaritan and he began a conversation with her and he grabbed a hold of her attention because he was being prophetic. He was ministering to her prophetically and he said, go get your husband. And she said, well, I'm not married. And he says, that's right, you're not married. He said, you've had five husbands and what you're with right now is not your husband. So just because you live with somebody doesn't mean that you're married. I've had people say, well, God knows a heart. Yeah, he does. He knows your heart that you're afraid of commitment, that you want to keep your options open and you want your cake and you want to eat it too without putting a ring on it and making a lifelong covenant. And so that's exactly what he knows about your heart. And in our culture, we've been told this, that you can be a family without covenant. It creates insecurity and it creates mistrust and it creates a whole big mess that we hand down to our kids and our grandkids. God established the institution of marriage because it is the safest environment. It is the best for society and it's best for kids to grow up in those environments. Now listen, Travis, you have a child and a person that you're not married to. Obviously you can't stand them any longer. The best thing that you could do not just for the sake of the child but for you is to move out and to repent before the Lord for living in a way that is contrary to His word that is more descriptive of how the world says to live your life than the Bible. Repent, ask God to forgive you and become a disciple of Jesus and begin to live in the Jesus way for your child. Here's what's gonna happen. Your child's gonna see that your heart is tender towards obeying God and in the process of you repenting and submitting your life to Jesus, the Holy Spirit's gonna change your heart and your attitude towards this individual. Probably part of the friction you're having is the fact that I'm assuming you're a Christian and yet you're living in sin, so that's a problem. God can change your heart towards the mother of this child so that you can have good co-parenting and raise this child up and you can't determine what this other individual's gonna do with their life but you can determine that you are going to be the best father, the best example of what it means to be a follower of Jesus and you can pass on your faith effectively to your child so that when they grow up they don't have to live under the implications and the effects of your sin. And here's what I wanna say in closing to those of you who may be in a situation where you're living together and you're hearing me say that, the reason why I'm saying it so direct is because you need to hear it direct. You need to hear that if you are living together you're in sin and God will forgive you and he can cleanse you and he can give you a good start. Some of you are living together and your next step is you need to get married. You need to just do this thing, you need to come, you need to get the pastor, you need to work through some things. You just need to get married. Some of you just need to break up because the reason why you haven't gotten married is you're good enough for me to live with but you're not good enough for me to marry. If that's how you feel about that individual you're defrauding your brother or your sister. Let me read to you what Paul writes in, I think it's First Thessalonians here. First Thessalonians I believe it's chapter four, it says this, he's writing to Christians. So by the way if you're here and you're not a Christian then you're sitting in on a family meeting. This is God's perspective for those who choose to be followers of Jesus. We're not judging those who are not followers of Jesus. But Paul's very clear in 1 Corinthians chapter six, we're supposed to judge those who name the name of Jesus Christ and call themselves a brother or sister. So we're not judging you to condemn you. I'm up here as a pastor saying, come on, do this thing right. Here's what Paul says. This is the will of God. You want to know what the will of God is? Here it is. Your sanctification, that you abstain from all sexual immorality and that each one of you know how to control his own body and holiness and in honor not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles do, who do not know God, that no one transgress and listen and wrong his brother or sister in this matter because the Lord is the Avenger. So when we choose to be in a relationship with another believer, we're Christians, but yet we're living according to sexual passion we're actually defrauding the other person and we're setting ourselves up for God to resist us and to resist our lives and to resist our hearts. What's the answer to that? God doesn't want to judge you and condemn you and separate you. Here's what God wants you to do. Repent. Which says, God, I blew it. I've messed up. Anybody ever messed up in this room? Raise your hand if you've ever messed up. Guess what? The only recourse we have is God's grace, right? Anybody grateful for God's grace? Any married couple ever blown it in your marriage relationship? Raise your hand. Okay, what do you do? God, forgive me. And then we repent. We say, I want to do it better. I want to change it. What we don't do is say, well, God's just a big meanie because he won't just accept me the way that I am. No, because the way that you are, contrary to the word of God, is going to destroy you and God doesn't want you destroyed. God wants you blessed, all right? So there's your answer, Travis. That was the longest answer of the weekend. Karen at Portage says, is it wrong to date someone who is actively working on overcoming sexual sin, masturbation, porn, et cetera? We use the M word here. There we go. Last night, we got that question. So here's what I would say. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to date someone as long as that individual recognizes that they have growth and they've got accountability and they're really working on that because there are lots of people that struggle with these issues. But here's what I would say. The bigger issue is not what they're wrestling with. The biggest issue is who they're turning to. So if this individual says, look, my heart is I'm turning towards the Lord. I want to change. This has been bondage in my life and they're honest about that and they're asking you to walk with them and give them grace. And they're really genuinely turning towards the Lord. Then God can do a massive work. But if somebody uses the phrase, I'm struggling with it, but I'm not doing anything about it. And now they keep, every time you're alone with them, they're trying to put you in a compromising position. You will have to come to a place where you say, look, this is how we're going to continue to be. If you're going to continue to make moves on me, put pressure on me, you're still giving yourself to porn and to all of these sexual sins and you never do anything about it. You need to know that that's not the type of relationship I'm interested in being in. And so there is help and there is grace. And if somebody is turning to the Lord and really wants to grow and following Jesus and get set free, by all means, walk with them because all of us have issues to overcome. But if somebody is using that as an excuse, every time, I'm sorry, I know I got to do better, that's not enough, because insanity is this. So the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and yet expecting different results. And so if they're doing the same cycle over and over again, but they're not changing it, asking for help, trying to break out of that, getting accountability, really leaning into the Lord. The words are the only thing that really say that they want to change, but really their heart wants what they want. Well, then you're just, you're going to get pressured and day after day after day after day, that pressure eventually will wear you down. You will be the person that changes, not them. But the grace of God is available for all of us, I'm so grateful for that. And he absolutely can transform and change our lives. So I would say get some counsel, have an open and honest conversation, get a plan and begin to work that plan in dating. Okay, here we go. Next question. Alyssa and Rich Lynn. How can I find joy in singleness? Great, great question. There are so many people, especially on an increase in our culture today that find themselves in their 20s and 30s and still single or are single not by their choice because they've been through a divorce. And now they find themselves really struggling with finding joy because for many people, singleness is great. They just like, look, I don't have any desire to be married. I enjoy my life. I enjoy my friendships. And what I want to say to that is to all singles, if you're listening to me, is this that you don't need anyone else in your life to make you complete. Regardless of what Napoleon Dynamite said, regardless of what Kim Kipp said about La Fonda, that she's your soulmate and she completes me. You can be complete in Christ. And you don't need any other person. If you're waiting for somebody to make you feel complete, you will not feel complete when you meet that person because only Christ can make you complete, make you whole. So there are people that are single. It's like, look, I don't think I want to get married. I enjoy being single. And you know what? You're not a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God. Some people have chosen to be single for multiple different reasons. Number one, out of choice. Number two, because it's like, look, I want to give myself to my career. I want to give myself to ministry. I want to give myself to the mission field. And that's fantastic. But there's a lot of singles who the desire of their heart is to be married. They want to be married. And the Bible says in 1 Corinthians chapter seven and eight that there's absolutely, or six and seven, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that desire. If that's your desire in your heart to be married, then by all means go ahead and get married. And if you get married, you haven't done anything wrong. Marriage is honorable. And I can understand what it must feel like to want to be married, understand I'm complete in Christ, but have not yet met the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or you thought you were with the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with, and yet maybe they've died prematurely or they've left you or they've been unfaithful to you and you find yourself in a position of being single again. How do you find joy in that circumstance? Well, what I would say, and this is not a cliche answer, but it's an answer that applies across the board, regardless of what kind of situation you're in, that you can find contentment in any situation that you find yourselves. And Paul said in Philippians, I have learned to be content in whatever station of life I am in. If I'm rich or if I'm poor, if I'm imprisoned or if I'm freed, Paul said I've learned the secret of life is to be content in wherever I'm at. Here's what I want to say to you. It doesn't matter if... Let me just say this. There are some people that are married and don't have joy in their marriage. And so marriage in and of itself doesn't make you joyful. There are some people that are widowed and single and have found joy in life, even though they may want to be married. You can be content in Christ, regardless of the station of life that you are in. There is a difference between contentment and satisfaction. I'm content where I'm at, but I still have a desire to be married. And that's exactly where we need to be. So I would say in a practical way, the way that you find joy in singleness is, number one, seek first the kingdom of God in his righteousness. Make Jesus, make God, make the kingdom of God the thing that you pour your life into. Surround yourself with friends, godly friends, spiritually mature people. Be a part of a group. This is launch week. Find community of people that married single, it doesn't matter, station of life. We can find fellowship with one another so that we have friendships in the meantime. What I have discovered is, if you're seeking first the kingdom of God, the trajectory of your life is, I'm going after seeking first the kingdom of God. As you're making that your path, the odds of you finding a person you want to spend the rest of your life with that's equally committed to the things of God increases exponentially. Because if your path is going this way, who are you going to cross paths with? Somebody else who's also seeking first the kingdom of God. And so you might find them at church, you might find them in a community group, you might find them on a Christian dating app or a website, you might find them on a missions trip. But you do the things that you find pleasure and you find joy in. Seek first the kingdom of God, surround yourself with community, and then trust God with the rest. And I think that it's very possible for you to find joy even in your singleness. And submit that to God and ask God to fill your hearts with joy. And I know this, that those of us who are married and it's easy for us to say, oh, just be joyful where you're at. We're praying for you, because Jane and I are the ultimate matchmakers. We're like constantly going, we got this young lady and that guy, who do we know that we could, we're praying for you. So if you're praying to get married, know that Jane and I are praying for you and others are as well. So hopefully you'll find some joy. Here we go, next question. Phil, what are your thoughts on Luke 16 verse 18? Is it sinful on all accounts to marry someone who is divorced with the exception of adultery? Luke 16, let's just turn there and read it. I know the passage that he's referring to, but not everybody may have that lodged in their memory. So 16 verse 18, it says, this is the words of Jesus, everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. Divorce is a big issue and it's broad. It's not, divorce is wrong. It's not that simple. First of all, I would like to clarify this, that everything that you did wrong before you came to Christ is under the blood, it's washed, it's cleansed, and you are a new creation in Christ Jesus. All things have passed away, and behold, all things have become new, including divorce, including adultery, including sexual sin, that is all under the blood. So when we're talking about being in Christ, I've had people come and say, you know, I was 22 years old, I wasn't serving Jesus, I was married and divorced, but now I don't feel like I can get remarried because I committed adultery or da, da, da, da, da. It's under the blood, okay. And then when it comes to divorce for Christians, the Bible seems to give three, two very clear, one I think is assumed throughout the pages of the text, exceptions for divorce. Number one is sexual immorality, okay. If your partner has committed adultery in your marriage, just as much as sex is the bonding agent that consummates a marriage, sex outside of marriage is also an act that breaks that seal on marriage. And so the person within the marriage that was violated has the decision, has the choice to divorce their partner because, or their husband or their wife, when they've been unfaithful, but it doesn't mandate or dictate that they have to. You can experience restoration and healing, and we've seen that so many times where it actually brought things to the surface that needed to be clarified. And with the help of good Christian counselor or pastor and the work of the Holy Spirit, their marriage can actually be stronger than it's ever been before. But when there has been a massive ongoing breach of adultery or someone just says, I can't get over it, this is too much, it doesn't mean that you're necessarily gonna be happy in the future, it just means that you have the freedom to do that. The first exception that Jesus gives is sexual immorality or adultery. Number two, Paul gives in 1 Corinthians the exception, what's called the Pauline exception. And that's if you're a believer and you're married to an unbeliever and they leave you or they abandon you, then it says that you are free in Christ to remarry. You're no longer under bondage. And the bondage that he's talking about is a yoke of marriage. So if you're married and the partner abandons you and leaves, and I would even say, well, you might say, well, I'm a Christian, I was married to a Christian, but they abandoned me. The very act of abandonment without proper biblical grounds is actually acting and functioning as an unbeliever. And I think that after a period of time where spiritual leadership can speak into your life, I think a person who's been abandoned on everything that they can to bring about restoration and their marriage can be free to remarry as long as it's in the Lord. Third area that I think the Bible generally speaks about is the arena of physical abuse. I think that when you read Ephesians 5, it says that, and we're talking primarily a husband to a wife, that a husband lays down his life, he loves her as his own body. And who does not take care of their body? Who would dare abuse their body? And that's the violation of the covenant. And when there is an ongoing endangerment to a person in marriage or a threat of danger where they don't feel safe, first step isn't necessarily divorce, it's separation to get safe. And if there is repentance and if there is healing and that type of, there may be reconciliation to marriage. My experience is when they're, I'm talking about real physical abuse. I'm not talking about we got in a fight or they just got mad but they didn't touch you. I'm talking about when there's been physical abuse. Rarely is there the level of repentance that can rebuild trust. Now, what about, hey, I'm a Christian and I divorced my spouse from my first marriage. I didn't have biblical grounds but now I wanna get remarried. Do I have freedom in the Lord to remarry even though I didn't have biblical grounds for divorce? I would say that your first step is for you to evaluate your heart and is there the possibility of restoration with the first marriage? Because that's God's best. If that other partner has then, or your ex-wife or your ex-husband has married somebody else, well then now they've entered into a new covenant and there's absolutely no way that you guys can ever come back together. So there's freedom in there. What about if you say, oh, I'm a Christian, I didn't have biblical grounds for divorce but I married somebody else now. Are we in adultery? Technically, the act of you marrying somebody else or dating somebody else was adulterous but that doesn't necessarily mean that your marriage isn't valid in the eyes of God now. What God would ask you to do is to repent of the sin that you committed with the first marriage, repent of your sin of adultery in the dating process and let God cleanse you and bless the current marriage that you are in. Paul says whatever state you were in when you came to Christ, remain in that state. So here's a biblical example I would give to you. David, how many know that character in the Old Testament? David was married multiple times over which was his major problem but he committed adultery with Bathsheba and he committed adultery and then he committed murder. By the way, the two sins that the Old Testament law did not have atonement for. He committed them both, the adultery and murder and conspiracy to murder. So he has Uriah killed and he takes Bathsheba as his wife. So here we are, he's in a situation where he's committed adultery and he's married somebody out of adultery and even include murder which just ramps that up to a whole other level. But what eventually happens is David's heart is right before God. God brings healing, it doesn't mean that there wasn't some issues going on but God healed their heart and when you read the genealogy of Jesus it includes David and Bathsheba and Jesus actually comes through the lineage of that. What man did in sin, God redeemed and brought about redemption through it. And I believe if you find yourself in that situation where it's like we got married and we shouldn't have gotten married, that doesn't mean that you divorce, it doesn't mean that adultery is the unforgivable sin or that divorce is the unforgivable sin. The biggest issue is our hearts before the Lord. The thing that scares me the most is how we have our heart so callous oftentimes to what God thinks about us and how we need to constantly come before the Lord and ask for him to forgive us, cleanse us and then bless us into our future. Last question, here we go. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of while single and I wanna get married. How do I move forward as a Christian when all I feel is shame? Well, let me just tell you, if any of us, and this is Max, a portage, if any of us stood before God and had to give an account for the things that we've done in our past, none of us would be able to stand. None of us could stand. The only way that we stand, according to the book of Romans, Paul says, we stand in this grace. And grace is available. Grace is not God's big get out of jail ticket for us so that we can continue to do what we wanna do. Grace is actually God's mercy extended to us that washes us, cleanses us from all unrighteousness and then positions us before him in right standing even when we don't deserve it. So Max, what I would say to you is go before the Lord if you haven't already, ask him to forgive you, repent, say, God, I'm so sorry. I made so many mistakes and reject the shame that the enemy is trying to put on you because shame, God does not relate to us through shame or condemnation. God relates through us through conviction and grace. Romans chapter eight says there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus for the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus sets us free from the law of sin and death. Grace and the law of the spirit is much stronger than the law and the shame and the condemnation of the law of sin that leads to death. So go before the Lord, give him your shame, lay it all down, receive the grace of God and determine in your heart, you know what? I'm gonna live righteously before God. I'm gonna be a Daniel that lives in the midst of a very sexual perverted and licentious culture and I'm going to be different. I'm gonna live devoted unto the Lord. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I was purchased with a price and I am not gonna defraud a brother or sister in the Lord because of my own sexual passions. And I'll tell you what, when you do that, God's grace will meet you. His blessing will be upon your life and you can have an amazing future as you move forward. You don't have to be defined by your past. I don't know about you, church, but I am glad that I am not defined by the things I've done in my past, the weaknesses that I have today. I am glad that I am defined by one thing and it is the blood and the righteousness of Jesus Christ who has made me a new creation. Did you stand with me all over the room? Great questions. And I want to invite you, if you would, to bow your heads with me all over the room. Here's what I want to say to you as our prayer ministry team can go ahead and make their way up to the front, both of our locations. Here's what I want to say to you. It's something like Red Hot. You can have your eyes closed and your heads bowed as we're in a place of prayer, but I want you to hear my heart on this. In something like Red Hot, it's easy to take a sound bite and say, wow, that was really direct. That was really strong. And the enemy will oftentimes, when you find yourself in a similar type of situation, what he wants to do is he wants to take something that's a sound bite and he wants to use it to judge you, to condemn you, to shame you, to belittle you, to isolate you. But that's not at all the purpose of Red Hot and it's not at all the heart of the Father who's here today. He wants you to know the truth so that the truth can set you free. Maybe you've never heard that living together is a sin. God's not waiting with a baseball bat to beat you over the head in judgment because you've done something wrong. He's calling you, there's a better way. I want you to be blessed in your relationship. I want you to be blessed in your marriage. Do it my way. That's what I'm supposed to do. Today, you're supposed to be bold and courageous and say, God, from this day forward, I want to do it your way, whatever that means. I repent. I'm changing. You may have brought sexual sin, sexual history that you wish you could go back and undo. What do I do with that? It's not about you proving to God that you've changed. It's about allowing him to wash you, cleanse you, forgive you and empower you to be free. You say, well, I'm lonely, I'm a single person and I'm lonely. What's the solution for me? This is draw near to the Lord. He'll fill the gap. It's to surround yourself with community in Christ. And it's to trust him that he knows the past, he knows your future and he knows the plans that he has for you and he knows the desires of your heart. This morning, I'm going to pray and we're going to dismiss. Today, some of us in our marriages, some of us in our dating relationship, some of us just with our own hearts and our own actions, we need prayer. We need to tell somebody. We need to receive prayer. We need to confess some stuff. We need to pray that stuff gets broken off of us so that we can walk in freedom. Because red hot is not just about us asking red hot questions. The intent is that our faith and our passion for Jesus is red hot. Jesus said I wish you were either hot or cold. We don't want to be lukewarm believers. We want to be hot passionate about Jesus and about his kingdom. So I'm going to pray and when I say amen we're going to dismiss. But if you desire or want or need prayer I'm just going to invite you to come and receive prayer and believe that God's going to meet us in this place. Lord today, thank you for your word. That's a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. Jesus, your word is a hammer that breaks the hard the steel of the fetters of the enemy off of us and sets us free. And today Lord, I pray that we would walk out of here drawing closer to you than we've ever been before. Freer than we've ever been. Hungrier for your word than we've ever been. Filled with purity and desire to serve you in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Help us to be the light of the world that you've called us to be in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.