 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesley. He was brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is different and it tastes different. Miracle Whip tastes so good it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. More Miracle Whip is sold on the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Try it. Make your salads better tasting with the one and only Miracle Whip. We don't know whether it's due to the genius of the great Gildesley or to Summerfield's rapid growth. But the fact is the water department is flooded with business which keeps the water commissioner on the go from early morning to late at night. Now it's early morning again. Can't you wait for your second cup of coffee, Miss Gildesley? No, thank you, Bertie. I have to be on the move. I'm late at the office now. Yes, sir. You want to drink your coffee on your way out and leave the cup in the mailbox again? I'll bring it back. No, Bertie. Why don't you take the cup to town with you and mail it back? All right, Leroy. Now where's my coat? I'll get your hat, Auntie. Thank you, Marjorie. I'll hold the burrow. That's the spirit, Bertie. Here's your chapeau. Chapeau? Oh, hat. It's too bad you don't even have time to enjoy your breakfast. You have my own fault. That worked so late last night I just overslept. Bert, open! Coming, Bertie. Auntie, you didn't shave this morning. I know that I'll try to find a few minutes later this morning and run down the Floyd's barbershop. Well, goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, Uncle. Leroy, I'll drop you by. I'll walk. I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry, too. Come along. Candy bar. Get one for me, Auntie. We'll see. Leroy, will you run back and get my briefcase? Okay, you hold my books. All right, eight books. You're walking library. Nobody hasn't opened any of them. Nope. They're slipping. You idiot. They would fall under the car. I dropped your arithmetic. I wish I could drop arithmetic that easy. Yes, yes. Climb in the car. It's so cold. Slide out. Last night I was too tired to put it in the garage. Don't antagonize it. Am I next for a shave, Floyd? Well, I wasn't planning to shave the broom, Chair. I thought you may have had an appointment, Floyd. No, you're the first customer I had today. Business a little slow? Yeah, but I like it this way. Gives me a chance to read and think. Yeah, is that what you've been doing all morning? Well, I've been reading. Yes, yes. And I've been doing some thinking, too. I've been thinking I might sell the barbershop. Sell the shop? Sure, I got to stand an offer. Just ain't standing high enough. But I may take it. I ain't proud. Floyd, you're not serious. I'm a level commissioner. Since that fancy shop opened across the street, my income ain't up to my out-go. That's too bad. Yeah, competition's pretty tough. He's got six chairs and a buckin' Bronco. Bucking Bronco? Yeah, wooden horse to set the kids on while he gives them a hoppy haircut. Oh, yes, I've seen it. He even put in a television set. Drove the barbers crazy trying to cut hair during a tennis match. But it brought in the business. It's all right. I'm sorry to hear things. I'm so good. Oh, well, I ain't worried. My wife, Lovie, has been wanting to take a job. She likes to eat lunches downtown. Does your wife ever work, Floyd? Yeah, she used to work for the telephone company. I like to kid her about how I took her away from Alexander Graham Bell. Operator, was she? Yeah. First time I talked to her, she'd give me a wrong number. Well, let's hurry it up, Floyd. I have a pile of work waiting for me at the office. I'll have you out in a jiffy. Say, how was just thinking, Kimish? Anything Lovie could do down there? Down where, Floyd? At the water department. The kids are weird at addressing envelopes, putting on stamps, stuff like that. Well, I need somebody, Floyd. She can run an ad machine. You want to see her punch them buttons. She uses all her fingers. You know, I mainly need somebody to do odd jobs. Answer the phone. That's for Lovie, the telephone. When she worked for the company, she was elected misnumbered, please, of 1935. How about it, Kimish? Well, I suppose I could use it. Hey, that's swell. You won't regret it, Kimish. She's really deficient. Fine, Floyd. Send Lovie down in the morning. That's what I need. A little help at the office. And I'll tip Floyd and Lovie, too. It makes me feel good. Say, before I go back to the office, I think I'll stop in at Peavey's for that candy bar. Oh, Peavey. I don't know. I'm thinking honestly. What can I do for you this morning? You Peavey, I'm so busy at the office, I won't get out for lunch, so I'd better buy a candy bar. Oh, really? I have some new ones. Do you want a sludgy pudgy or a nudgy muddy? Well, which one smells so good? The ham. A ham bar, Peavey? No, no, the baked ham on the sandwich counter. Hey, it looks good. Make me a combination sandwich with some of that, Peavey. You mean ham between candy bars? No, Peavey. Combination ham and cheese. It's a little early, but I'll eat it now, I have to waste time unwrapping candy bars at the office. Yeah, I'm thinking of ways to save time, Peavey. My office is bursting at the seeds. Reports, estimates, expansion plans, new subdivisions, everybody's looking to me for water. Are you really that busy or are you just gilding water lilies? You're right, Peavey. I'm actually busy this time. In fact, I just hired Floyd's wife. How's that? Floyd's wife. You know, what's her name? Oh, you mean the lady who's known as Lovey? That's right, Lovey. You must be busy. Here's your sandwich, Mr. Gildersleeve. Thanks. You know, I just had to get help somewhere. What do you think about my hiring Lovey? Well, after you've hired her, it's hardly the time you think about her. What do you mean, Peavey? Mr. Gildersleeve, I never thought it a good idea to hire the wife of a friend. What's wrong with that? We have plenty of jobs around town if Mrs. Munson wants to work. Why shouldn't you work for me? Well, what do you say to the wife of a friend if she's late to work in the morning? What do I say? What does your friend say to you when his wife works overtime and can't get home to pixie dinner? Well, he'll say more than that. You know, this situation is different, Peavey. Floyd's having trouble making ends meet since that new shop moved in across the street. Hmm, yeah. Lovey was gonna work someplace. I think I'm doing a good turn. Hmm, yeah. And I need help at the department, so work-wise and friendship-wise is probably the smartest move I ever made. No, I don't care. Go, posh. You'll see, Peavey. There's nothing wrong with hiring the wife of a friend, especially a good friend like Floyd. He's a fine fellow. Down to earth. Just from what I know of Lovey, she's a little on the Gabby side. Yeah, well, I'll keep her busy. Nearly nine o'clock. I hope she comes to work on time. Yeah, I'll show, Peavey. Where's my office key? See? The door's unlocked. Boo! Lovey! Yeah, I mean, Mrs. Monson. Did I scare you, Mr. Gildersleeve? You jumped a foot. Well, I didn't expect you to jump up. He's from behind the door. Hi, Commish. Floyd! My wife's a great little kid, huh? Well, how'd you two get in? I dollied the janitor into giving you the key. Oh. Come on in. Make yourself at home, Commish. You're first talking with his feet propped on my desk. I'm not opening the barbershop till 9.30, so I thought I'd drop the little woman by. Oh, you sure got a swell office, Chief. Chief? Don't you like Chief? Well, why don't you be ritzy? Call a miss to Throckmore and P. Gildersleeve. Oh, Floyd. I got it. I'll call you like us girls used to call the boss at the phone company by his initial. From now on, you're T.P. T.P.? Oh, my goodness. Here, Commish. Take your chair and tell Lovey what to do and where to go. I may have to. Oh, sure is nice of you to put me on the payroll, T.P. When Floyd came home last night and told me to knock me over with a feather. Yeah, she didn't believe it. The water department, she says. Are you kidding? She says. And when we came to the office this morning, I still thought he was kidding. Is this really the water department, T.P.? Yes. Yeah, I think so. Well, where's all the pipes? You have pipes and things that are underground. The water doesn't run through the office. That's Lovey for you, Commish. She takes everything literary. Idiot centipedes. Idiot centipedes? Yep. You can explain all this destiny as we go along, T.P. I catch on quick. Yes, well. Did you ever run a telephone switchboard? No. Oh, you want to see Lovey at a switchboard. She can light that thing up like a Christmas tree. Me, I wouldn't get near one. Yes, well. You might find an octopus. Well, we have a lot of work to do, Mrs. Munchen. I guess you're the one to do it. Now, if you come over here, I'll explain the operation of the billing machine. Oh, I could have had a job at Hogan Brothers in the kitchen where, but I told him I saw enough pots and pans at home. That's what I like about being in water. It's a clean. Oh, brother. Now, Mrs. Munchen, about the billing machine. Yeah, Lovey, pay attention. Another thing I don't like about these big department stories is punching them time clock. That's adulterated nuisance, T.P. Oh? Time clock isn't necessary in your case. You were prompt this morning. You should have seen us getting out of the house. We was flying. Yeah, I was so anxious to get down here on time. I didn't get a tasty breakfast. Now that I've checked in, how about me going out for coffee and donuts? Yeah, coffee. Well, I guess the billing machine can wait. Sure, come on, Lovey. Let's see. I'll be back in a jiffy, T.P. Oh, by the way, I know the T stands for Throckmorton, but I don't know what the P stands for. Yeah, I know. Pigeon. We'll be back in just a minute. One of the easiest ways you'll find to brighten up any meal is to serve a colorful, tempting salad. Here's a wonderful fruit salad that's made with pineapple and peach slices. For each serving, place a drained pineapple slice on a bed of crispy lettuce. Then on the pineapple, arrange four well-drained slices of peach in pinwheel style, and top it all off with a spoonful of Miracle Whip salad dressing and a maraschino cherry. There, it's pretty, it's easy, and you can be sure it'll taste especially good. Thanks to Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip gives salad such wonderful flavor, a lively, teasing flavor that's peppy yet not a bit too sharp. It's a flavor most folks call just exactly right. And it's a flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing because Miracle Whip is actually a different kind of salad dressing made from an exclusive craft recipe to give you the best qualities of old-fashioned boiled dressing and fine mayonnaise. Treat your family to colorful, tempting salads often. And to make them better tasting, make them with Miracle Whip salad dressing. Remember, there's only one Miracle Whip and it's made only by craft. Let's get back to the great Gilda Sleeves. Yesterday, under pressure of work and out of sympathy for his friend, Floyd the Barber, the water commissioner hired Floyd's wife, Lovie. Already, his little family is wondering if he did the smart thing. Hey, I'm late for breakfast. We had a hard day at the office, Leroy. Listen to my job. I thought Mr. Gilsley wouldn't have to work so hard after he got some help. Why not? So sure, Mrs. Munson's going to be a help, Birdie. Now he's working twice as hard. She sure is a talker. Oh, and you know her? I do now. I called the office yesterday and she answered the phone. I not only know her, I know by everybody else in town that all I asked was what Mr. Gilsley wanted to send to the cleaners and she had everybody else's laundry. Yeah? What's the dope, Birdie? Now, Leroy, we don't listen to gossip. Birdie, I didn't know Mrs. Munson gossiped. Oh, she didn't say it was gossip. She was just repeating what other people told her. Hey, Miss Marjorie, did you know that Miss Aftermathie bought a new dishwasher and an installment plan and a husband may have sent it back and now she makes him do dishes? No, really, Birdie. When did that happen? Oh, for corn's sake. We don't listen to gossip. Well, before I could find out when it happened, she started talking about something else. Miss Marjorie, do you know what she calls Mr. Gilsley? What, Birdie? She calls him Tee-Tee. Tee-Tee? What does she think I'm giving? Isn't it? Oh, Birdie, his initials, Leroy. Oh, yeah. Poor Unkie. Good morning, everybody. A muddler still flew. Good morning, Unkie. Hi, Tee-Pee. Leroy. Where'd you hear that? Oh, gossip. Excuse me, I'll go get you breakfast. Unkie, we understand Mrs. Munson calls you Tee-Pee. Well, yes. Do you call her Lovie? No, Leroy. I call her Mrs. Munson. And I wish she'd call me Mr. Gilsley. Why don't you tell her, Unkie? Well, she's not easily told. You know, I'm afraid I made a slight mistake, children. I suppose I did hire her on impulse. But my snap judgment has always been so good. Now your judgment's snapping back at you. Yes, yes. But she may work out all right. She's giddy. She accomplishes quite a little when she finally settles down. When was that? About a quarter of five. That was a bad case of parking. Mmm, looks good. Thank you, sir. And here's your coffee. Unkie, if Mrs. Munson is like you say she is, maybe she'll lose interest in quits. That's a pleasant prospect. Yeah, maybe some morning she won't show up. She has been offered other jobs and water can interest a person only so long. Sure, I take a bath and then forget it. Yes, sir. If I know Lovie, Mrs. Munson, she won't be with us long. She'll fled someplace else like a happy hummingbird. Miss Giltley, there's a hummus bird outside. You know, isn't it a little early? Not for this one. It's Mrs. Munson. Oh, my goodness. Why is she coming by here? Hello, Mrs. Munson. Come in. She's already in. I thought I'd drop by and take you to work, T.P. T.P. Yeah, right. Well, Mrs. Munson. And Marjorie, how are you? I haven't seen you since you had the twins. You're looking just grand, honey. Oh, thank you. Hello, Bertie. Good morning, Mrs. Munson. Where's your handsome husband, Marjorie? Oh, he goes to work early. Why, T.P., you're still right in the middle of breakfast. Come on, let's get the waterworks going. Well, thanks for offering me the ride, but I'll be down a little later. Well, if you're not in any hurry, I may as well have a cup of coffee. Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Munson, won't you join us? Thank you, honey. Anything in the pot, Bertie? Yes, ma'am. I'll go get you a cup. Wonderful. Get two cups. Will you, Bertie? Two? Floydie and I left home without breakfast again. Something has to be done about this. I see you managed to get out of the office this morning. I had to, P.P. Did you hire Mrs. Munson? Yep. And it isn't working out. I never should have hired the wife of a friend. I should have taken your advice. Oh, I'm sorry. Thanks. P.P., I'm glad you're not the type who says I told you so. You didn't give me a chance. P.P., how am I going to get lovely out of the office? I can't fire her. I don't want to hurt Floyd's feelings. Oh, I know. You wouldn't have hired his wife in the first place, but I didn't want Floyd to have to sell his barber shop. It seemed a delicate situation. A few years ago, I had a clerk I couldn't get rid of. You did? He was a great one for eating. He used to sample everything at the soda fountain, ate up all the profit. How'd you get rid of him, P.P.? Well, I had a little private chat with his wife. I told her the reason he ate so much was because he worked too hard. Ooh! Goat-chat was a little fib, Mr. Gillespie, but she made him quit the job. Yeah, that's an idea, P.P. You didn't have any trouble finding other work, did he? Oh, no. He caught on at a machine shop, nuts and bolts. I bet he isn't eating the profits now. Surprise George P.P. while I talk to Floyd and tell him the job at the water department is too much for lovey. Well, husbands don't like it when their wives work too hard, unless it's around the house. P.P., this time I'm going to take your advice. My worries are over. I'm back in this chair reading a magazine. What a barber. What are you doing out this time of the morning? Now that you've got lovey running the office, you're a free man, huh? Not exactly, Floyd. Are you out reading meters? No. I walked over here because you're a friend of mine, and I have your interests at heart. Oh, yeah? What's up? Well, to tell you the truth, Floyd, I'm a little concerned about lovey. Yeah, I mean your wife's health. No kidding. You never mentioned it to your wife, Floyd. I thought I'd come to you. Oh, yeah? What's the trouble, Commissioner? Well, there's too much work at the office for her. I don't think she can stand the pressure. Are you kidding? Lovey's strong as a horse. That may be, Floyd, but everybody has a breaking point. Well, that ain't like lovey. That kid got an iron institution. I don't doubt that. But there's so much work to do up there, if she ever does it. It'll endanger her health. It will, huh? She's developing nerves, Floyd. Nerves. See, that's funny. Lovey ain't never been a nervy type. She is now very nervy. You really think she's cracking, huh? I think she's already cracked. You guys probably want to go out for some much coffee? No. In the movie magazine. She's trying to escape all that work. But, Commissioner, she's only been at the water works two days. Hardly long enough to get her feet wet. She might pull out of it. You're right, Floyd. Don't say I didn't warn you. But if you don't care about Lovey... I love Lovey. Well, why don't you do something about it? Before she's a total wreck. She's a cinch. I don't want no wreck around the house. I'll see if I can't handle it, Commissioner. Can you handle it today, please? Well, I'll be by before you close the office. Good for you, Floyd. See, I'm sorry the job's too much for Lovey. I even had envisions of her being the first woman water commissioner. Lovey? Yep. And who knows? From there, she might become one of them female business typhoons. I'll see you at the office, Floyd. Make it soon. I'm getting machines to keep Lovey busy until Floyd gets here. He's 4.30 now. Copy's when I finish this batch, TP. Oh, almost finished. Are you, Mrs. Monson? Sure, I'm rolling now. What's next? Well, you might take these water bills on my desk and put them in envelopes. Sure thing. Say, what's this you wrote on this bill? Oh, that's just a way of greeting new customers. Welcome into the fold, honey. Mrs. Monson, what's the idea? Well, when you're sending them bills to pay, you've got to be nice to them. But... When you're billing, what's wrong with a little crewing? I hardly think the mayor would approve of being so chummy with the customers. I'll answer it. You're fine. Well, I'll find some more work for you. Water department, hello. Yeah, he's here, Mr. Mayor. You're Mr. Whittaker? And you're lucky to find him in. He's been out all day. Sure, sure. I'll relay the message. Mrs. Monson, that was the mayor. I know it. Oh, well, boy, it'll be here soon and take it away. What was the message, Mrs. Monson? Oh, that's funny, I forgot. Oh, yes, very funny. Now, now, what did you want me to do, TP? Well, we still have to put the bills in the envelopes, but please, no greetings. Check. And there's filing to do and reports to check. Check. And letters to write. Right. Oh, brother. Hiya, Lovie. Floydie! Hi, Commiss. Floyd, am I glad to see you. I had a lot of wheels turning since I saw you, Commiss. What? I bet you came to take me out for a cup of coffee, Floydie. Wait, Mrs. Monson. I think Floyd had something to say. Yeah. I had to make a big decision, Lovie. The Commiss tells me there's too much work here for you. I only had your interest at heart, Mrs. Monson. What? Come to the point, Floyd. We'll all try to take it big. Well, Commiss, since there's too much work for Lovie, I decided to take that offer I had for the barbershop. You sold your shop? Yep. And out of appreciation of all you've done, I'm coming down here to help you and Lovie out. Oh, Floydie, you're going to work here with me? Yep. Well, you work, I work. You've been tried. Commiss, Lovie and me are insufferable. I'll say they are. What have I done to deserve this? The Great Gilded Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. The next time you need a main dish for a luncheon, how about serving a shrimp salad, and to make it really delicious, make it with Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip will give it just the lively favor you want, not too sharp and yet not too mild. Miracle Whip has a flavor millions of folks call just exactly right. Get a jar of Miracle Whip from your grocery tomorrow and make all your salads better tasting than ever with America's favorite salad dressing, the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. What's the matter, Anki, tired? Leroy, I'm exhausted. Dinner's on the table, Anki. Aren't you going to eat? Yeah, I don't think so. I just want to sit quietly and not hear any voices. I've had all I can take for one day. And Mrs. Munson didn't leave then? No. No, I have Floyd in the office helping her. I have to get there early in the morning to have a place to sit. Well, relax, Anki. You can have a nice and quiet here. Yeah, I tore out of the office so fast tonight I forgot my hat. All I wanted was to get home. Poor Anki. Shall I get your slippers? Thank you, my dear. Thank heavens a man can come home and find sanctuary. Hide from the world in all the trouble. Oh, it's her. Trapped again. Good night, folks. Good night for the craft foods company, makers of those famous craft quality foods. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further developments in the life of the great Gildersleeve. Boy Scout Week begins today. This week, the Boy Scouts of America are celebrating their 42nd anniversary. More than ever before, men of good character are needed to serve as cup masters, scout masters and explorer advisors. Here's your chance to do something curbing juvenile delinquency in your community. With more unit leaders, the Boy Scouts of America can enroll more boys in their program of training for good citizenship. During Boy Scout Week, offer your services. Volunteer to your local Boy Scout headquarters. Find out how you can help. Tonight, be sure to hear the Robert Montgomery News program on NBC.