 If you guys have been following along my recent experiment, I've been talking a lot about manifesting, mindset stuff, and really tackling core beliefs that then show up later in your life. Well, in this video, I want to share my top 10 tips, the top 10 lessons I learned from Gay Hendrix's book, The Big Leap, because this book is all about self-sabotage and how when things are going really well in our lives, we tend to mess it all up. What's up guys? Alex Hein, author of the book, Master of the Day. Now before you guys go on, I've actually included a brief goal-setting worksheet. It's the exact goal-setting process I've used in my own life to reinvent myself to tackle some of those core beliefs holding you back, so you can check it out right there in the description box, modernhealthmonk.com forward slash I think goals, right there in the box there. So go check that out. For me, the first lesson was all about how we self-sabotage, especially when things are going really well for a long time. So in Gay's own words, he said, some part of me was afraid of enjoying any amount of positive energy for a long period of time, and these thoughts of worry brought me back down. So he was talking about how life was going great, and then out of the blue, he was thinking about his daughter who was off to college, and he started to have all these fears and all these worry thoughts pop up, and later he reflected and was like, that's weird. And it's kind of how we all tend to self-sabotage when things go well on some level. For some people, it's the relationship. For some people, it's fitness. For some people, they get all this money and then they blow all the money. So just reflecting on how when things are going well, they can continue to go well. It doesn't have to be like a bad sign that something bad's going to happen. That's just a belief. The second thing I realized here is that all of us have this gremlin in our head, and it's the voice that eventually pops in and is like, oh, you're doing so well, and you know what happens when you're doing well, something bad must happen, right? It makes no logical sense whatsoever, but then that fear pops in, and it's like the, I'm the cursed relationship person. I'm the financially cursed person. Our family has a money curse. It's all a bunch of steaming pile of crap to just upper limit yourself to use Gay Hendricks' terminology. The third thing that made me think about is how we often complain and blame and have a lot of negative emotions, and you often see these only in people who are not living that inspired life. You really see that a lot in people who are upper limiting themselves in terms of their financial life not going well, their spiritual life, their health life, their dating life, physical fitness life, and you usually only hear that in people who really aren't living the life that they want. When you get to the levels and the spheres of people who really are jacked up on life, they're doing what they love, they're trying their best to live it consciously. You see a lot less of that. And so you can actually assess in your own life, where am I? Like what's the barometer for myself in terms of the complaint, the blame, the victimization and all that, but also the people around me. What are my parents like? What are my siblings and my friends like? And that can be a good indicator of, you know, should I still hang around these people? The fourth thing I think of a lot is this idea of the zone of genius. So Gay talks about the zone of genius, which is this zone where you don't only really like what you're doing and you're in flow and time vaporizes, but you're also really good at it. And he gives this example of a CEO who was trying to install his own printer, and it took him like three hours to install this printer. And he still did not get it installed. And Gay was like, is that in your zone of genius, right? And if not, outsource it, have someone else do it, pay for it. And he ended up paying a college kid 15 bucks an hour. Meanwhile, the CEO, his time was worth well over $1,000 an hour. The fifth thing is breaking down what the zone of genius actually is. So the zone of genius is what you love. In other words, what you want to do and what you're good at. So it's the fusion of things where you're noticing you get good results for people, or you're starting to notice that you may be good at this. But also it's the time where you're in flow and time vaporizes. You don't have to push too much. You're pulled towards it. You feel compelled to do it. It's something that intrinsically, it just feels good to do right now. That's kind of your zone of genius. And what Gay wants us to do is gradually move more and more towards that. Not only does it feel good, you also begin to open your life towards that kind of synchronicity and towards the magic, where when you're doing what you love, it's easy, it's fun, it flows, and doors open that weren't open before. Now in Gay's own words regarding the zone of genius, she said, it's been 20 years since I did anything I don't want to do. And now he creates projects based on just what's in his zone of genius, which idea does he focus on, which ever is the most internally exciting. Now the next section of the book that really helped me was talking about the four barriers to us being more successful in terms of holistically, but also staying in our zone of genius. And it really comes down to four key beliefs. The first key belief is that I am fundamentally flawed. So I'm fundamentally flawed means I always date these kind of women or they always date these kind of men because there's something wrong with me or there's something wrong with them. I can't possibly be successful because I think I was born dumb. I can't possibly date amazing women and be in a healthy relationship because I believe I got all this negative programming from my mom and from my dad. I can't possibly do XYZ because this thing is wrong with me. This is just a belief. You can see how if you believe that you're screwing yourself effectively for the rest of your life. You're telling yourself right now, you know what? It can never possibly work. And again, most of the time it's just a story. The second belief is that more success means a bigger burden. More success means that if I'm super successful, my friends and family are going to start asking me for money. More success means people are going to start judging me for being successful and thinking that I must have abused or used people, oppressed people, my workers, I overwork them and underpay them in order to get to where I am. Again, this is just a belief. The third belief is that I'm a burden on this world that somehow by succeeding, I'm leaving behind the people and being disloyal to my friends and to my family. That's tough, right? Because if I believe that if I'm super successful, I'm going to alienate myself away from my parents and from my siblings and my friends, then you're not going to do it. And again, these are all subconscious beliefs. They're really, really deeply held with people. And of course, I have the same fears, too. That by becoming more successful, I won't be able to relate to the average person as much. Or again, that people will judge me or think that they are incapable and that I was born special. Again, these are the deep, deep, deep beliefs, the fears that sabotage us. And the fourth barrier to us kind of expanding is the crime of outshining, as Gay calls it. The fear that if I perform really well, my siblings will feel like they have to compete with me. It'll affect their self-worth or their self-esteem. Or that my parents may make judgments about me. And look, the thing with all four of these fears is that on some level, they are true. They're true because they actually happen. But the trick is to make those fears, bring them into the conscious, to know and acknowledge them before they sabotage you. Now, I want to break 8, 9, and 10 into what Gay calls the zone of genius questions. So how do you find your own unique zone of genius in your life or in your work? The first thing is, what do I most love to do where I don't get tired or I don't get bored? Now, maybe you realize that everyone else hates math, but you actually love doing math equations. So maybe you realize your siblings all hate sports, but when you play tennis, time vaporizes for three hours. The second zone of genius question is, what work do I do or can I do all day that doesn't really feel like work? For me, early on, I realized that for a lot of people, medicine is a really intimidating field. And I have to do a lot of work to get to where I am and I will continue to have to do a lot of work. But for me, sitting down with a patient and trying to diagnose what's gone wrong and even going home and studying for three more hours to figure out what's wrong with that one person, that to me is like a game. That's like fun. It's like time just goes away. The third thing is that in your work, what kind of work produces the most satisfaction in relation to the amount of time you spent doing it? So there are certain things you do throughout the day that you just feel good about. They just make you feel good. Really hone in on those key things. And the fourth question is, what is my unique ability? And Gay says that when he asks people this, they often have like a look of wonder on their face when they find it. What is something I think I'm uniquely suited to do or I'm particularly good at and really can laser in on and it really helps people? Maybe it's reading people. Maybe it's feeling feelings. Maybe it's focus and discipline. Maybe it's organization. Maybe it's being an idea person, a creative. Thinking uniquely what you are good at and then spending your time as much as you can in that zone of your genius. So these are some ideas I learned from Gay Hendricks' book, The Big Leap. I highly recommend it. I've included a link in the description there below to the book. He also has a new book coming out soon so keep your eyes peeled for that. And before you go, don't forget to snag my free goal setting checklist and cheat sheet in that goal setting checklist. We actually go through how to set up the proper beliefs, the proper habits, the proper rituals to help you become more successful holistically. So you can download that there below. You can also get my last two videos right here and right here.