 What's going on my people? Listen, I am here taking over Shan's channel because of this comment. Okay, but before I get into my video here, I just want to bring attention to the set now. I just want to bring attention to this set up here, and the only reason I bring attention to it is because Shan doesn't let me set up her shot the way I would set up the shot, the way I would like it. My aesthetic. She has her own aesthetic when it's nice. I'm not gonna lie, it's nice. But I think mine is a little bit better. So if you think so too, go over to Shan, let her know that Jared knows what he's doing and that he can set up your shot beautiful. Now anyways, back to the video. This video is going to be all about what I didn't know about being a father until I became a father. And this is gonna sound cliche, but the amount of love that I felt for Ryu when she came out of that womb, it was like a wave of emotions. I mean, even thinking about it right now, it gets me kind of choked up like that experience of going through labor and then finally here and then you finally get to hold her and finally get to see her breathing and beating and it's just it's just an incredible experience. And I got something to admit when Shan was going through her pregnancy and she had the belly bump, she would always get me to try to connect with Ryu through the belly. And I just couldn't do it. Like it was really hard for me. It felt like there was a barrier between me and Ryu. It felt like I couldn't really feel her, you know, emotionally, spiritually. I felt like I couldn't connect with her. And I did a lot of pretending. I'm not proud of it. I feel guilty. I felt guilty the entire pregnancy because of this. And you know, I think that it's a lot easier for the woman to connect with the baby when she's in the womb because she's literally physically connected to her. She has this emotion. She could feel her. She can literally sense her before she even gets to moving. So I just think that if there's any men out there that have a wife or a girlfriend who's pregnant, who's trying to get you to connect with them and you just can't really fully do it and you're pretending, just know you're not alone. I'm sitting right here and I was one of those guys, but it will hit you because when that baby comes out of that womb and it is real, those emotions come heavy. The second thing I didn't know was I didn't know how magical and bonding and beautiful changing a shitty ass diaper would be. You know, all growing up, I used to just fear that like, dang, when I become a parent, I got to change all these dirty ass diapers, pee, shit everywhere. But listen, guys, that is one of my favorite times is like, she just laying there. She's looking at you smiling, cooing and kicking and there's just like this weird connective thing that I feel when I'm changing her diaper. I can't really explain it, but I'm sure there's other parents out there that are like, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. It just feels so tribal. It feels so, you know, I don't know, it's just a crazy experience and I never would have guessed that that would have been a magical experience. So the third and final thing that I want to share with you guys is I think there's this misconception that fathers don't know what to do when they're alone with the baby. And the only reason I found this out was because Sharon went on a work trip and I was left alone with Ryu and the amount of text and calls and concerns that came with that was overwhelming. I mean, people were checking in being like, are you sure? Can you really do this? Are you all right? Do you need any help? And it was cool and I'm sure it was out of love, but what it made me feel was that like, nobody thought that I was capable of doing this. And what I really want to share is that fathers have instincts as well, just like the mothers do. Like I wake up just before Ryu wakes up. I hear her cry and I can tell what type of cry that is. I can hear her cry in a room full of babies that are crying and I will know her cry through all the thickness of the sounds that all these babies are making. And so I just really feel that fathers need more credit in this area. And just because we didn't carry the baby and we didn't spend that type of time with them, we still are connected and have DNA and wrapped with that baby. So I would love to, you know, I didn't do any research on this, but I'm sure there's research out there on the instincts that fathers have with this baby. So if anybody out there knows anything, drop it in the comments. But I just really wanted to say that if any fathers out there feel like the family, the friends are making you feel like you're not as capable as the mother you are. And that's it, man. I say that with love and I say that with peace. And I hope that I don't get attacked for saying that. But yes, I am capable and I can take care of my daughter. Okay, wait, real quick before you guys go, I have high check chance channel. So I think I should share and shout out my channel. I have a podcast on there. It is called enjoy the podcast. We talk a lot about fatherhood. We talk a lot about relationships and it's everything from the male's perspective. So if you're wondering what he's not telling you, go over there and check us out. Foreplay is more important than sex to me. Okay. Okay. Foreplay is more important than sex to me. I'll say that again for anybody who was not paying attention. Do you ever, do you want to have kids? Do you want to be married? I never had a chance. Kids, yeah, I could do kids. Who said I can do kids? I didn't even know. What nigga says I can do kids? That shit ain't a drive up the coast. I think we put trauma in this distance because we go, yes, we recognize that that was a shitty moment, but we don't need to feel it. But what ends up happening is it internalizes. It exposes out of any other poor that you have. I don't want to say it's not our fault completely. But it took me a long time to become aware and to understand that I was emotionally unavailable. When all these women kept saying the same thing like, I can't read you, I can't get you. I'm like, yeah, why do they keep saying this? The actual nice guy is going to be able to challenge you. The nice guy is not going to challenge you. He's not going to want you to evolve. He's not going to want you to help. He doesn't want to help you grow. Right, right. He's just going to agree with whatever you're saying. You know, whether that is depression, whether there is anxiety, trauma, sexual abuse, whatever that is, you just know internally, like I'm not good. Right. So that's kind of like an indicator for me. And when I say I'm not good, like, I feel like that resonates with people of color a lot. What the fuck are you? Yo, this is called fashion, bro. Fashion. Ladies, do you like this shirt? Friends of Benefits is a version of like love bombing. I've loved from what you guys described. I've loved. No, do they communicate during love bombing? I understand you communicate. But like, imagine me being like, all right, I love you. But when I say that, I really mean I care for you. I would never say that unless I meant it though. But, but that's the symbolic, the symbolics of like flowers and dinner. What? No, it's not. Me giving you flowers as I love you. What's the fuck? Yes. No. No, I'm comparing the two. There's a, there's a, there's a, okay. Just like you said, I just told you with the origin of flowers and what they are back in 1417. Sure. Yeah. You don't believe, do you not, do you not think that flowers mean something? I guess we got to just, we got to do that first. It's a symbolic gesture. It's not, I love you.