 I want to start the interview with Ms. Sev here by first of all congratulating you because I understand that you just won Mr. Congeniality 2019. Tell us a bit about that. Thank you very much. I was competing in a competition here in Brisbane called Drag Royale. Our largest and most intense competition, run over the course of 12 weeks with a different theme sprung on us every week and a huge pool of performers. Over the course of that show I did all manner of ridiculous things for other people's entertainment and as a thread that runs through a lot of the work I do I always bring an element of fetishes and BDSM into my performance. And over the course of the show although I didn't make it through to the finale I was eliminated I think three weeks prior technically not eliminated I had to withdraw due to health issues so by default but my peers and the producers and my fellow performers voted for me and quite unanimously which was incredibly overwhelming and honouring as their Mr. Congeniality for Queensland so I have I've always joked that I would like to find a way just to turn sort of crying on stage into an effective performance art and they took that choice completely away from me and I balled my eyes out on stage at the Weckham and I've never felt so warmly welcomed by my queer community just appreciated for the very different but you know clearly accepted things that I do. You are a drag king yes so tell us a little bit about that I mean I'm sure this all sort of goes together. Yeah absolutely so I've been performing as a drag king now for coming up on two years I'd been a cabramba less performer for a decade before that I always felt like I'd maybe a little too weird for that scene. At Halloween I do fine the rest of the year people are not quite as entertained by my my bizarres but within the within the local LGBTQI community I found a very open willingness to accept not only the the fetish elements that I brought in but also the alternative and the weird and the challenging and the emotional I like to tackle difficult subjects in a way that makes people think and usually laugh at the same time and that has found it's I found home for that in drag and also finally a way to express my long held beard and penis envy. But let's loop back to the beginning you were born in Hong Kong yes your family moved often around the world so tell us about that what was going on there. So my family ended up in Hong Kong by accident as so often seems to be the way with the serendipitous nature of my life. My grandfather was an Australian journalist and was traveling through Hong Kong on his way to Vietnam when his health became so severe that my family were forced to stay in Hong Kong and seek medical help and some of the elements that he had including quite severe asthma turned out to be a lot better in that humid climate so he just stayed for 30 years and raised my mother there and then I was born there as well my father was in the navy and my mother was working in Hong Kong as a journalist and they met together and my my English military father he then kind of picked us up and scooped us off around the world as well my Australian grandfather then ended up moving to San Francisco with his second wife a Hong Kong Chinese woman that was under a lot of scrutiny by the government at the time for her activities that may have been a little anti-establishment so my my grandfather married her and they moved to San Francisco together and then spent the next 10 years systematically moving out members of her family to get them out of mainland China and into a community where they'd be accepted and welcome. Where where all else did your family go? Over the place so obviously we have got a large community of my family here in Australia but I also have a family scattered around Asia around Europe family in Holland Germany yeah okay so but your circumstances afforded you a breadth of diversity and you you learned quite a lot growing up so tell us about that how did that affect you? I have had the ultimate privilege of being able to travel so much and experience short amounts of time living in areas rather than just passing through them when I was 13 I had the opportunity to live in San Francisco with my grandfather for a year and I'm certain I would not be the person that I am today if I hadn't spent time not only living with the Chinese side of my family but also exploring San Francisco and as a young kind of weird alternative kid San Francisco was the place to learn about myself. My most visceral and prominent memory I was there when I was 13 and I am my grandfather who was not the greatest family man very fascinating and incredible writer and we adore him as an eccentric gonzo journalist but when it came to sort of being a sensible adult it wasn't really his forte so 13 year old me I've spent the day wandering around Berkeley all on my own and then head down to to the waterfront in main central San Francisco I'm hanging out at the pier and not great to say but I'm sitting there having a cigarette sitting on a wall and a group of guys walk past all in leather gear all of them in shining boots and vests and straps and I was in fraud and they were handing out flyers and they were doing community work they were actually out handing out condom and lube packets and handing out flyers and talking to people in the general community it was getting towards evening and it was obviously a bit of a party night and they were out doing community outreach and as the youngest and most awkward goth um in the vicinity said I said something incredibly cheesy like I love your boots and ended up having the most fascinating like half hour long conversation with this large group of people who just took the time to talk to me and very appropriately for my age group you know I asked what it was all about whether they were a club and they were quite vague about the specifics but they did take the time to you know acknowledge that I was obviously interested and ask me you know about myself and I was already aware of my queerness at that age and I told them that I'd already come out as bisexual to my family and I just I remember this moment of kinship where they knew where I was going to be in five years they absolutely knew that I was on that path already um and I just remember them being so warm and welcoming and I remember being really inspired by them taking the time to engage with the general public and their visibility and having grown up around some military people and traveled around as much as I've experienced diversity I've always had the opportunity unfortunately to experience prejudice and discrimination as well sure um and to see people just flying in the face of potential consequence in the most public way ignited something in me and even if I hadn't turned out to be a fetishist and led the woman and into bdsm I definitely feel like I I still would have followed that need for community engagement thanks to their influence but you mentioned you you came out as bisexual very young how did your family react to that two sides to that story um pretty much split straight down the middle my my mother is incredibly accepting um beyond accepting I would say she's my best example of what an ally looks like she has two daughters and both of them are queer oh and she has never done anything to make any either of us doubt that we are a hundred percent loved and respected um for who we are I have this joke I used to tell him when I stand up sets until my mum started coming to my shows and she starts she writes a blog she started writing rebuttals she's a lot wittier than I am unfortunately um but I used to joke that you never get to come out just once you know like even when I came out to my family as bisexual and my mum reacted great and my dad reacted awkward um a year later I really thought actually I think I'm probably a lesbian mum I'm a lesbian she's like yeah you know it's all still cool a couple years later like oh that wasn't quite right either no I'm definitely bisexual um but I think I might be polyamorous like okay well that seems complicated and I'm it's not going to make your life easier but I support your whole heartedly and that's great oh mum by the way I now run a fetish club you're probably going to see that happening so you should know about that I was coming out to her constantly and never once has she batted an eyelid never once fascinating my my father on the other hand um his response was to take about a year to even mention it again and then it was to make awkward jokes about attractive women kind of in public or in the media and that maybe we have the same taste so like he was trying clearly but was very unequipped well tell us a little bit about your your early kink exploration because you liked damsel in distress play superhero play talk with us about oh absolutely so childhood me um yeah I was I was absolutely drawn to it now both of my parents worked in incredibly long hours and often you know my father was away for long periods of time mother was a journalist traveling to London all the time so I spent quite a lot of time with a childminder who had a number of foster children who were mostly boisterous boys slightly older than me and we would hang out afternoons and we'd watch cartoons and I definitely had a vibe for that damsel in distress motif that is so often repeated and hanging out with these these boisterous boys it didn't take long for the things that I enjoyed in TV to become part of our play as well so you know from the age of six seven we were playing tie-up games I remember getting tied up and put in the cupboard under the stairs for a few hours and thinking it was the best game ever um and yet strangely knew that that was probably not the kind of thing I should tell my mother about and the superhero fantasy was definitely the thing like I've always had an affinity for the bad guy mostly because the bad guy gets walloped a bunch I think and obviously like aesthetically I took it a little much too too much to heart but I love the playful relationship between villains and heroes when I was a young person I love that it wasn't just about defeating the bad guy and it being done it was about this playful dynamic a symbiosis where you know one needs the other and I just remember being captivated by that and thinking more about how much I would love to become a supervillain and have a superhero to battle constantly than I ever thought about like being a young girl thinking about my wedding like but never happened at all I wanted my toxic superpowers and then a superhero to come and be my nemesis I thought that was that was the dream well you mentioned when we were preparing for this you used the phraseology expression without fear talk with us about that what did you mean by that I think living and expressing myself without fear is a it's a place that I came to after a complicated and you know sometimes difficult childhood where fear was always always looming it was always problems whether it was you know how my family was getting in trouble and being pursued by you know communist regimes or how my my father was you know very angry aggressive and man who used intimidation my childhood was spent very much discovering a rich inner world but not feeling entirely safe showing people who I was you know I was very bookish I was very contained and something started unraveling in me really early on where I realized that that I was never going to be known and I felt very detached from people and I was never going to be known I was never going to truly know people unless I overcame the sense of fear of needing to protect myself maybe something about me was wrong maybe the things that I felt were normal and I when you're a young queer weird kid it's very easy to feel like you're wrong and not normal and there isn't a place where you can be fearless and I realized that it's not a place it's a it's a perspective it's an outlook and if I could walk through the world without fear if I could show people that I was queer and comfortable if I could show people that I was kinky and comfortable if I could show people that I'm unashamedly me that they would have people to look to as well they they would know that they didn't have to live with fear well that probably brings you to the cognizance that you had when you were a young person because you told me that you used to go to parties and bring condoms and and what I tell us more about that because I the concept of a young person doing that is very strong I think so from the age of 14 roundabout that became pretty much my I felt like that was my place in my in my local like amongst my school friends in my community I was growing up at the time in a place called Hastings in England and at the time it had the highest teenage pregnancy rates in all of Europe I was a very aware young person I was a very sexual young person so I knew it was something that mattered to me and I knew that most of my peers and my school friends particularly I went to an all-girls school but didn't have the greatest sex ed I knew that so many people my age and up were drinking partying having sex they didn't have education they didn't have protection and I was deeply moved to just just that small thing I would go to a local health service in my young in my town the youth development service they had a sexual health clinic that saw young people and I would go there I would tell them that I was going out for the weekend I'd be socializing and I'd get a big bag of free condoms and I'd fill my handbag with them and if I saw anybody even like getting getting close to somebody at a party I'm just like the condom fairy but you have a condom you have a condom I started giving them away like lollies and there was a few there was a few reasons behind that one of them was that I wasn't ashamed to be seen going into the sexual health clinic because I felt informed and confident and safe and a lot of young people probably didn't I was very like my mom's very communicative and my mom's best friend my honorary uncle Fergus he had been incredibly open to me in talking about the importance of barrier protection sexual health he unfortunately passed away just a few years after that with complications from HIV and we'd known that he'd been living with his struggle for a while and so I've got Fergus in my ear on one hand like this is something that's important to understand from the youngest age that you've you know that's it's never a good time to forget about the importance of protecting you and your community and on the other hand I had girls that I was at school with 14 year olds dropping out of school because they were pregnant and it seemed like there was a simple solution to this problem and that was education and communication and you know I wasn't I wasn't the prettiest and I wasn't the coolest and I was awkward and there weren't that many people who were out at my age either and teenage boys are a nightmare um so I just um yeah I just carried a round bag of condoms everywhere I went the bars that I was sneaking into underage and the parties I was going to and yeah get a bowl out of the kitchen put bowls of condoms on people's coffee tables not even ask them just do it and um um it just kind of became my niche so when I moved out to Australia when I was 15 I kept I kept doing this so just Australian school kids I found I had a weird cultural adjustment coming over here just because it felt um the high school years run a little bit differently and when I left England I kind of felt like I was coming to the end of my schooling I was ready to go to college when I came out to Australia and I like enjoyed grade 11 and 12 I felt like I was being put down back into uniformed kid zone um and I noticed that there was just a difference in the way that young people age 15 16 Australia had felt to the young people in my hometown Hastings one that was very sex drugs and alcohol fueled and here very few of my peers felt like they'd kind of crossed that barrier yet and it was their older brothers and sisters and peers who were kind of getting into that stage so all of a sudden I'm the person nobody knows I had shaved my head I was wearing big men's goth boots to school um and carrying around bags of condoms and they had the weird English accent and it was not a good way to get popular um but it was a great way to start conversations with people um and by the end of that two years I remember being absolutely overwhelmed like my school here in Queensland our formal wouldn't allow same-sex couples so myself and my gay best friend we went together and protest we very sparkly and at that event so many of our peers of our school friends chose that time to come out to be visible to give us community joined us at our tables um I remember thinking like you know it wasn't a great way to be cool but being visible really really means something to people and they're giving it back to me in showing in solidarity and because my life is a constant back and forward a year after that I'm back in England um uh graduated at 17 instead of going to school he's got on a plane flow flew straight to England because I knew where the party was at um and the first job that I got was I walked into that youth development service that sexual health clinic where I used to go and get all those condoms as a young person said hey I'm basically already doing this job I would like you to pay me now um and they they gave me a job and I was running that project within a year so it was an interesting career choice yeah I then I then ran a young person sexual health clinic and got funding from the British government to start a new project called glisten which was the gay lesbian youth social support network um and I ran that out of my hometown in England for a number of years but you said your age was really what benefited you in that absolutely um I was the youngest youth worker not only in my center but at one point I think just as I finished my qualifications so I did my nvq on the job in youth work and just as I got my qualification I think I was just 18 and a half and it made me the youngest qualified youth worker in all of England at the time and I I was very lucky that platform allowed me to do some incredible work I ended up um giving speeches at conferences for other youth workers training them in how to deal with queer young people how to make services more accessible how to reach out in their communities both for lgbt qi young people and for young people with mental health concerns they were really my focuses in training other youth workers and it was a thing like youth workers tend to range from mid 20s you know up until 50s 60s sure um and the older a youth worker gets obviously the more experienced they have and so often the harder young people find to talk to them uh to open up to them uh I was so closely connected by generation to some of the young people I was supporting in fact my project one of the other projects I ended up getting funding for off the back of it a pulse project which unified local services like support for homelessness and addiction and brought them all into central hubs that would allow young people to access all services from a central hub um that project looked after people age 15 to 25 and so I was running this as an 18 year old slap bank in the middle of my own demographic and sometimes sometimes a little intimidated by trying to be a stable and sensible support person for somebody you know in their mid 20s when I felt like I barely started living my life yet um but what I knew I had was access and knowledge to things that could provide support and help and that there's no age limit on that it just really motivated me to keep pursuing that direction of connecting people with what they need to be safest and healthiest what are your thoughts on the stigma of hiv I mean the the stigma is I think the the number one factor in the fact that we still have high infection rates we still have people who are to this day not knowing even that they can access things like prep um what are your thoughts on that I think anything that allows us to take control of ourselves and our bodies is ultimately always beneficial and the biggest issue is letting people know that it is safe to talk about that we inspire each other so much more through our peers and through word of mouth than we do through big campaigns than we do through mass education as much as I'd love to see schools talking about I mean even just queer sex in sex education I would I would love to see that be more recognized and not such a taboo particularly here in Australia where it's um it's the even the idea of safe schools is used as a weapon to bash sensible conversation um to be able to tell your friend hey I'm going and getting my my tests redone this week would you like to come with me you know when was the last time you got tested shall we go together is a conversation that so few people have or feel comfortable having um and it's a conversation we should all be comfortable to have whether they're our lovers or not like I take my friends to the clinic like let's all go do a clinic day and then let's go go go get a mani pedi afterwards like why not um and why not make it an essential part of your self-care and your community love is to look after yourself check in with yourself and remind your friends and peers that this is an ongoing process of self-awareness self-care and community care just by being aware of your status by and constantly touching base with the services that have the knowledge and information you know developments and changes in treatments in drugs in ways that um you know some lubes and medications can affect different contraceptives if we're not allowing ourselves to be in the presence of the professionals who get paid to research and learn um we're not keeping ourselves up to date so I just um you know my message is always just talk about it share it and don't don't ever be ashamed of it ever I worry sometimes that HIV is the last major taboo in the in the gay scene it's one of the last things that particularly young people really struggle to talk about um and I think we went through a little phase in the last decade where because transmission rates were dropping and because treatment was in you know getting better and uh life expectancy was improving massively it was no longer a death sentence if you you know um that we now have young people coming up now who are actually a little too complacent yeah because they they didn't go through the the gripping terror and loss of the epidemic yeah um so keeping those conversations rolling and sharing them from peer to peer and generation to generation um it's never it's never a bad time to talk about it you were mentored in the community what are your thoughts about mentoring it was the biggest honor for me as a young person exploring the kink scene so I about 18-19 you know I started attending events actually 18 on the door was like to get in there started attending events um and within the first year I had I was approached by lady Raven who offered to mentor me and I remember at the time feeling like it was the greatest honor in the world that you know I was running around in cheap goth store bought PVC you know terrible paddle and flogger bought at my local adult store like didn't know any better but that I am I seem to have something that she thought was worth nurturing and I remember feelings just so proud um as I spent my time with Lady Raven and I learned from her and her family I realized a few things so firstly that mentoring is incredible it's a gift it's an absolute gift and I absolutely did not agree with everything that she did or said um which was an essential part of being a mentee because I've never never fit well in anybody's cookie cutter and that was absolutely fine and I was let know eventually that okay well there is if you wish to you know be a part of this this is how we do things I really respect that I will absolutely do that while I'm here and I'll absolutely respect your rules and learn from you that's not I don't feel like that's what I will carry on necessarily um but the things that I learned the opportunity I had to have one-on-one support and community support and to elevate myself you know to firstly break myself down a bit challenge myself very quickly learned that I knew nothing which was really important I think um especially I'm a I'm a switch but I spent most of my life being dominant and feeling dominant and loving dominance um and as a as a as a young dominant and shiny corset I remember like sometimes getting to that edge I'm like I almost think I'm hot shit right now um so it was wonderful to be smacked back down and like actually no there is a code you need to understand and there is respect you need to show and there are things you need to learn and not to be even allowed the opportunity to endanger anyone else with my ignorance I'm very grateful for because if I hadn't have had somebody grab me by the shoulder like come over here child this is how we do um I imagine it would have been incredibly easy to make some very very silly mistakes and mistakes for us they they can be really dangerous sometimes um and I you know I needed an adult and I was very glad that I had one who was prepared to to lead me by the hand and tell me to sit down shut up when I needed it I think we all kind of need that I think we you know when we're shy we need those people around us to encourage us and inform us and support us and help us develop skills that we can be more confident and proud in and when we're too confident and proud we need people that we love and trust to um to temper that a little bit and and bring us back down to earth and remind us how essential fundamentals are and how important communication is and that these are skills that you are constantly building on you don't learn the skill of communication and you're done right you don't learn the skill of relationships and that every relationship is cruisy from then on out and you certainly don't learn elements of our craft without really dedicating yourself to um to constantly evolving and learning and being better and mentoring although it was something that I stepped away from after about four or five years at that point I was in a long-term relationship and I had a little house sort of building around my my central relationship did did my own thing for a while and was able to lead and educate and support in my own way and after doing that for a few years realized like I need to go back to the drawing board actually because I've kind of gotten to the limit of what I felt comfortable teaching and I now find myself back in the position where I'm approaching people and asking like I would love to learn from you please you know would you teach me and I'm it's a wonderful experience a second time round to realize a you know in my early 30s that I I want to actively pursue that process again fascinating but you worked as a pro dom for a while tell us about that yeah so that was um I was alongside lady raven um she kept me on my toes for that first year of of mentoring um I was able to assist her in our dungeon she had a she had a private dungeon that she operated out of she also helped me build my dungeon um in a central location in in Hastings it was an incredible venue I'm still still wistful about it now it was in a three-story nightclub in Hastings and they the when the owners changed over they allowed me to convert the ground floor of the basement floor into a dungeon the Hastings is a seaside town and historically it's an old smuggling town and there's loads of caves and tunnels that run all the way under the the town and a lot of them pop up underneath old bars and clubs where they used to like smuggle barrels so the basement of this club was an entirely man-made sandstone cave oh wow and so I turned a sandstone cave into a dungeon um which was glory like such a thing will never happen again because you really need all the stars to align for that to occur um and it was a beautiful atmospheric and it felt a bit like a tourist attraction but I loved it um everything about it was perfect except a sandstone floor and high heels are just the worst idea the worst idea in one of my early pro dom sessions I'm doing a sensory deprivation scene so I've mummified the client and they hooded the noise cancelling had phones on got them in bondage and I'm like I'm just going to go sit over there for five minutes put my feet up read a magazine let them enjoy the experience um and I I tripped ass over to it on the floor I didn't want to shout too loudly for my assistant who was out the front door because I didn't want to ruin the scene for the client but I did I got a I got a nine inch heel caught in the stone floor twisted my ankle and I'm in a long line course as well so I just went over like chopped tree um smacked my face on the ground I was like oh I'm the most glamorous and sexy person in the world right now so I did like knowing that they could humor was kind of like army called my way over to my couch I propped myself up got my makeup out touched up the little scab that was forming and ended that session as quickly as I could without them I think I got away with it but I'm still to this day do you not actually know through that process through the building the dungeon working with Lady Raven it really it really took me to school the difference in working as a professional to pursuing your own and your partner's desires and exploring with a client you don't have the opportunity to build the trust that deserves to be there um and it took me a little while to realize that I actually felt quite uncomfortable with that situation I wanted to be able to trust that they could communicate with me not just through safe words but also be able to tell me what they like and don't like how things feel and building that comfort of communication isn't something that happens naturally and in an instant for most people so I found myself have to get more and more explicit and stricter with absolutely how I expected people to communicate and exactly how and although that was helpful in learning how to lead people in communication it never really eased my sense of what if this person actually goes non-verbal and I can't pick their tells what if this person is uncomfortable but it is embarrassed or has the sunk cost fallacy where because they paid for something and they don't like it they can't stop but I just became more and more aware of the complexity as time went on I did get to do some amazing things that I would never have personally pursued though um I do like the confidence that some people have when they know they're paying for a service they no longer have any qualms at just telling you exactly what they want and some people are so incredibly specific but I had so many questions I wanted to ask and realized that wasn't really what I was there for I wasn't there to be like but why do you want to be interrogated and you know simulate having your penis chopped off like why is that a thing for you I'd love to know but obviously you don't really get that opportunity so just letting these fascinating uh opportunities kind of just pass by in the night indulge them once I've asked the questions I need to but um I liked that there was some mystery but uh I wish I had found a way to reconcile my concerns about finding the line between giving people what they deserve and want and have engaged services for and maintaining my own comfort my own boundaries and being able to understand communicate and respect their boundaries it wasn't it wasn't the most comfortable for me I loved I mean I loved it as a job didn't feel like I was developing in it after a while though but what it did give me the opportunity to do is having had this one floor of this place converted was to approach the owner of the rest of the venue and be like so do you want to give it to me a couple nights a month the whole thing and we can throw some shindigs um and I ended up running the largest club in my area for a number of years out of there with the support of the owners um and it was it functioned as a strip club so it had the best licenses of anywhere in town and the fact that the owners were comfortable and happy and lifestyles themselves were comfortable enough to say girls take the weekend off feel free to come back if you want to play but it's no longer a work weekend and um yeah that's when I started the club guilty pleasures and ran guilty pleasures for a number of years with a huge team of supporters you know my partner at the time and now our community around us are able to run a three floor extravaganza and let people come together as a community and as soon as I realized that that's what I was doing it wasn't just about throwing a party it was about bringing people together and in an area that didn't have public events sure I was realizing like oh well I can tie these things together why don't I contact people I've worked with in the past the Terrence Higgins trust for a HIV support trust in England they would bring down their bowls of condoms and information to talk to our clients and then I contacted projects I used to work for like Pulse and they would bring a rack of you know how to access services and they're putting out leaflets about what health facilities were supportive to the community and that was really great and I started bringing in people to do demonstrations and teach classes and Q&As and realized that actually it's not just about bringing community together it's about bringing people together getting them talking sharing knowledge sharing information sharing stories and that felt like at the time the best culmination of all the things that I'd worked on already and how to bring them together but what advice of you for people who are new to the community always ask questions always um if you're irritating someone will tell you don't worry about it there are so many people who will willingly share their knowledge their experience their time and obviously you know 101 the first thing we all learn is about how to ask right and how to accept and know and how to appreciate other people's boundaries so asking for somebody's help for somebody's encouragement for somebody's knowledge these are things that practicing how to do in a social environment actually benefits the rest of our community life right so get involved community is a word that is used a lot and sometimes it means that close knit unified family that we we hope for and sometimes it's used very amorphously to be you know places where kinky folk gather and doesn't necessarily bring us all together and doesn't but we're the opportunity to do that with the with the glue and there are always going to be people who are more visible and that's because we make ourselves visible to be flags and beacons for other people to come towards because we can point them in the right directions even if we're not the right people ourselves you know it's it's what you do by collecting knowledge and information it's what rena not bound does by bringing people together and putting on events that share knowledge it's if you look for the people shouting the loudest and waving our flags and showing us showing us all where there is safe place to communicate that's where you'll find people who can help direct and guide and educate and I've always been proud to be one of the people that puts my hand up and you know does a does a silly song and dance about it and lets everybody know where I am because I want to share the best things about my life with anybody who wants to listen what's the biggest misconception about you I think that's changed recently actually once upon a time I think people thought that I was intimidating and I've never felt personally intimidating unless you know I'm very specifically in that moment with an individual or three generally I find myself to be a bit of a bit of a dork and a complete fool but I've been told that I'm scary and intimidating and unapproachable so I think that's that's generally the biggest misconception is that I don't want to talk and share constantly I know that particularly when I perform as well some of you know I've lived with depression anxiety most of my life and being a solid part of a community really is my my saviour is my way through that mud is to know that I am one amongst many people who all have my back and I as I have theirs and that that keeps me confident and going and getting up in the morning but as somebody who does have anxiety and depression I know that often I will rock up to a event or a gig and before it starts I might be completely silent either I'm running through my concepts or I'm doing last-minute checks whatever and I apparently I mean I don't have resting bitch face I have resting kind of sad mad face like I look like really like I'm not having a good time and it's just my thinking face but if I'm quiet and have a stern face on I think people think that I'm very detached and not there to be friendly and I just I would welcome anybody to ask me anything in fact that's why I started my podcast kink clinic was with the with the tagline ask me anything because I really think that people need to learn that they can always ask the question like okay you might not want to ask your family you might not want to ask your friends they might you know particularly around kinks and fetishes and btsm okay choose your audience maybe I've got a little little carefree with it over the years and just hold everyone but choose your audience and sometimes people don't know who to who's that safe person or where that safe community is and so I wanted to put up a a new medium for people to be able just to reach out with their questions either in person or nominously can't speak and say you can ask me anything that is kink fetish I'm leather related and either I or the people I think are more equipped to answer your question I will reach out to them on your behalf I will get you the answers for any question that you have relating to kink because everybody deserves access to resources knowledge yes yes well said Faustus I would like to thank you so very much for being part of inside leather history and fireside chat thank you so much for having me