 Did I have myself a ball? That was a great workout, great. Of course, I almost got the bends a couple of times, but that worked out all right. It's all a matter of having the right kind of equipment. And I've got the best. Say, can't you think of anything better to do with your time than that? Well, there's all kinds of exciting things going on out there. You're just going to stand by and let them pass you by? Now, come on, are you glued to that mop or something? Sergeant says the floor has to be done or no passes. Oh, man, I got a rest. I had a pretty rough afternoon down there, and the water was pretty cold, too. Water? You mean that mud we had to wait through on the combat course? You better get those fatigues cleaned up. Fatigues? Now, you better get that mud off, grab yourself a mop, and join the party. You know, I'm getting used to the pressure down there. In another week, I should be able to go down another 10 feet. Quit it. Were you cool? The whole trick isn't knowing how to breathe properly. Yeah, I know. I've been doing it for years. Now, get a move on. We've got to get this floor finished before the man gets back. OK, cool. What's on your mind? Well, the Ferrari's OK, but give me the Lotus any time. Hey, you should have seen Hawkins take those curves at Monza. Of course, track for track, I prefer Watkins Glen. Cool, I'm busy now. What do you want? Well, I figured since I have this kind of background that, well, it'd be shame to waste me on some other kind of assignment. There isn't a car made that I can't handle. Maybe the CO would be interested in an expert driver. Cool, the CO's already got a driver. And besides, what are you doing in here during training time? Now get back to your squad. I only thought that. Cool. Yes, Sergeant. Johnny, I have it all figured out. I'm going to keep my job at the commissary for about a year. And by that time, you ought to have your promotion. And then we can manage. Man, after I get out of the army, we're really going to have a name. Records, recitals. Do you realize how much money a good pop musician can make? Johnny, let's not figure in anything we can count on. I need a budget. Oh, honey, I'm not going to tie my wife down to a budget. Oh, sir, that's not Johnny Cool's style. We're going to go first class all the way, even if we have to put off getting married for a while. Oh, why do we have to put it off, Johnny? We'll be able to manage. Manage? Honey, I don't want my wife just to manage. Why do you always put things in the way, Johnny? You do want to marry me, don't you? Oh, honey, you know I do. But there's nothing wrong in wanting your wife to have the best. Johnny, the best is you and me, the way we are. Not the way you imagine it's going to be. Johnny, it's you and me, the way we are. What's wrong in trying for something better? Private Cool, I've been looking over your records. Do you have any explanation for this kind of showing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but it's just so hard for me to get used to it all. I'm sure it is. But just how hard are you trying? I try very hard, sir, but it's so different from what I'm used to from my background in civilian life. And what was that like? Securities, investments. My father was a broker. He was teaching me the business. He said I had a real talent for it. Have you thought of trying to put your talents to work for you and being a better soldier? I do try, sir, but like I said, I have this background. We have men from all kinds of backgrounds in this unit. Country, city, farm, college, business. They're all equal here. Each man gets a chance to prove himself, to prove what kind of a person he is. I don't want to know what a man pretends to be. I want him to show me by what he does. Doesn't that make sense, Private Cool? Johnny, the best is you and me, the way we are, not the way you imagine it's going to be. Johnny, the best is you and me, the way we are now. The idea is to stay in the water, John. What do you mean you don't like getting wet? How can you learn to swim without getting wet? Now, get off that inner tube and see if you can make it just once across the pool. Now, let's try it again, but slow and easy. And remember, this knob is the windshield one. The other one is the cigarette lighter. Johnny, Johnny, the break is over. There, there! E-G-B-D-F, every good boy deserves fun. Can't you remember that? E-G-B-D-F, do you realize we've been on scales for a year and a half? Your little sister is playing pieces and you're still on scales. Take you into the business, my business, are you out of your mind? You've got about as much business sense as your Aunt Sophie. Subject, John C. Cool, Private US Army. Exhibit symptoms of multiple identity syndrome and obsessions of grandeur. Has exaggerated sense of importance and simultaneous insecurity feelings. Request, read out of Cool's probable reaction to serious challenge. Be himself, be himself. Sometimes you've got to put it on. You've got to try to be something.