 People that you surround yourself with are either going to make you the best version of yourself or the worst version of yourself. I got a request a while back to do a video on how to know if you're surrounding yourself with the right people. And so that's what we're going to do today. If you're new here, I'm Sarah and I created this channel to help you build a more loving and fulfilling and beautiful life through self mastery and spirituality. And today I speak loving, uplifting and positive relationships over you. So there's a few ways to know if someone is a right fit for you in some sort of relationship, whether that's a romantic relationship, a friendship, a roommate, a job, a boss, whatever. But I truly believe that the easiest way to tell if someone should or shouldn't be in your life is by the way that they make you feel. Whether you have a five minute or a five hour phone call with this person, how are you feeling after? Do you feel lighter, happier, appreciated, loved, valued, understood? Or do you feel sad or frustrated or annoyed or angry or anxious? Realizing how you feel after you spend this time with someone is really that easy indicator of whether they are uplifting you and making you better and should be surrounded by that person or not. A lot of times after I've personally spent time or talked to someone that I know is a good person in my life that brings out the best of me, that makes me feel good, that uplifts me is sometimes I feel so good. I'm almost like buzzing a little bit. My heart feels calm, it feels safe and it feels at peace. And another thing to keep in mind is like we're all different, so we all want to feel different ways. Personally, I thrive in relationships that make me feel safe, that make me feel understood, and that make me feel free. While for you, maybe what makes you feel the best is relationships or people that make you feel super pumped and high energy and excited. So first, you kind of have to figure out like how do you want to feel? When do you feel your best after you converse or spend time with someone? How do you want to feel? When do you feel your best? And then you just evaluate if you're feeling those emotions after you interact with someone. Another way to know if you're surrounding yourself with the right people is if they have similar values to you. Now that doesn't mean if you want to be a millionaire that you shouldn't spend time with people who is happy and content making minimum wage. But again, it all comes back to what do you want out of these specific relationships. So I think it's important to point out that we obviously have all different types of relationships. You might not want the same thing out of a parent as you do with the spouse or a sibling or boss. So it's going to be different and but only you can figure out like what you desire and what makes you feel valued and good out of each type of relationship that you have. Think about think about a personal trainer, right? Some people do really well if that personal trainer is encouraging to them. You can do it. You've got this pushed a little harder, blah, blah, blah, blah. But other people myself will thrive under a personal trainer who's kind of mean to them. Get your shit together. What are you doing? So you have to I know it's kind of a weird example, but like it's true. Like we all need something different from different relationships. You have to figure out what you want, what your needs are, what make you feel good. And that's going to be different from me and everyone else. And the bottom line is you just have to listen to your heart. Your heart knows, okay, you know, if you have an inkling that someone's not good for you or not right for you, they probably aren't. And sometimes we stay in relationships and again, not just romantic relationships, but all relationships for different reasons. And I want to go over four of those reasons with you right now. Also, excuse my voice. I spent the weekend with a bunch of my girlfriends in New York City and you know, take it to my body for sure. So the first reason we might stay in a relationship that's not good for us is time. Maybe there's been a relationship between you and this person for a very long time. Maybe it's been a year, maybe it's been a few years, maybe it's been your whole life. And you feel like because of that time spent and that relationship built, you can't just end it. You can't just walk away. But maybe you've just outgrown them or you've just gone in different directions or you just don't resonate with that person anymore. And we have to give ourselves permission that just because that person's been in your life for a long time doesn't mean they're right for you at this stage of your life. The second reason we might stay in a relationship for too long is guilt. A lot of times this can be through a parent and child dynamic where the child feels that they owe their parents X, Y and Z just because they're their parent. But if you're operating out of guilt within a relationship, no matter what type of relationship that is, either something has to change within that dynamic or it might be time to, you know, walk out of that relationship, you know, whatever is best for you, but you can't be bound to someone because you feel guilty. Okay, that's not, that's not the basis of a healthy relationship. Number three could be some type of obligatory relationship. Maybe it's a friend group or your family where obviously everyone's very intertwined. So you know that you're going to be around this person a lot or maybe everyone else loves them, but you don't. So you feel this obligation to be friends with this person even though you don't really want to be because you see them so often. But if you're not operating in a type of relationship out of love and wanting to be there, you're not doing yourself any justice and you're not doing the other person any either. It's best to just be honest and you don't necessarily have to go out of your way to like tell someone off or say you don't want to be friends with them anymore, but sometimes just kind of letting it fall into place, taking a step back. If you feel obligated to invite this person to go to lunch, maybe don't. Okay, and you can just take it step by step. It doesn't have to be this dramatic thing, okay, but you don't have to be friends or be okay with someone just because other people that you love do. And the last reason we might keep someone in our life that we shouldn't is a lot of us have it and that is people pleasing. We're afraid of how someone is going to view or judge us if we walk away from a relationship or a job or whatever it may be, or if we don't do something or if we don't go somewhere because we don't want to be around someone who we don't want to be around. And at the end of the day, your relationships, as I said in the beginning, are what build you up or tear you down. So if you're surrounding yourself by the wrong people, you're doing yourself so much harm. So if you have any more questions about this, please drop it in the comments below. And if you want to learn more about the type of people to keep in your life, let me know. Don't forget to like and subscribe so we can hang out again next week. I love you guys so much. And don't forget, be limitlessly yourself.