 Good evening. Good evening. We thank God for this day. And we're going to do a few songs. Before we do that, we're going to have ourselves for a word of prayer. We request the people in the congregation to kindly rise up so that we may pray together. Let us pray. Dear Jesus, we thank you for the gift of life, for the gift of this day. We thank you very much, Lord. As we start our session today, Father, we ask that you maybe go ahead of us, Lord. We ask for forgiveness of our sins, Father. Here we've wronged the ascertaining forgivers, Lord. And the word that we learned today, Father, we pray that it will be that that glorifies your name and somebody, Samia, will get closer to you because of what will be taught today. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So we thank God for allowing us to have this week, this family life week. We're going to do a few songs. Our first song today comes from S.D.A. Himnal, song number 656. Oh, perfect love. Let's all join in the singing. See? Oh. In the sense of the living God. Okay, let's pray. Our Lord and our Father, who art in heaven. Once again it has placed you that we gather here in the Holy Sanctuary to listen to your instructions. Your children have also logged in virtually, heavenly Father. In five flan corners of the world. Just to appreciate you as the Lord of our lives, our creator, our sustainer, and our redeemer. This fire you brought us, heavenly Father, since Sabbath. And today we have a rich menu for us so that we can be able to enrich our families. We pray that you'll be able to send us a double portion of the spirit to minister to each and every one of us, heavenly Father. And we pray more so also for the speaker that you've prepared for today that you'll be using mightily today than ever before. May all be done decently and orderly to your own and to your glory because we pray in Jesus' name. So once again those who have come physically into the house of the Lord, the Holy Sanctuary, we welcome you in a special way and we continue to encourage you to continue coming and to invite friends and colleagues because there's much in store for you. We also want to invite those who have logged in virtually that you continue because this is one program that you want, you don't want to miss because it affects everybody in the family because the family unit is the smallest unit of the church because once the family is not well then the church will not be well. And so at this particular point I want to introduce those who are serving the Coristas, Carolina Simba and Betris Okongo. And we also have the sign language. I can't see anybody on the piano. Sister Lynette will be giving us a scripture reading and the speaker that the Lord has prepared for this week is Pastor Samson. And so I see him becoming, each one of us whisper a prayer for him so that the Lord can be able to use him mightily. Now we'll have an opening song, SDA Himnal 655. And we request you to be upstanding. Let's all join in the singing. Now there are some sisters who are physically here and those who are watching us virtually. It is another moment we are turning to the word of God and before I read the word of God, may we actually bow for a word of prayer. Almighty Jehovah, we lift your name at this hour. Thank you so much for this opportunity that you have given us to come into your house and be a booking of kings to feed from that which you have prepared for the children. We are opening the word further and we call upon the spirit to open our understanding and further to soften our heart that these words will fall and these words further will make us do us of the words. Bless it because I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Saviour. Amen. So I'm going to read from Proverbs 17-22. Proverbs 17-22. So I'm going to use King James version so you can follow in your various translations. Proverbs 17-22 says, Amiri heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bone. Repeat again, Amiri heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones. May the Lord bless that reading. Good evening girls children. We want to thank again our Lord for giving us the privilege to be here. We welcome our physical audience here. We also welcome our virtual audience and we want to encourage our virtual audience as many as are able to join us physically as we continue to serve what God has for us. It's important of course as we are able let's also come physically so that some of the exercises that we are doing here we could feel the atmosphere of everyone of us who is present participating. We began on Saturday and then in the morning of that day we looked at Christian marriages and families challenges and opportunities. Of course we know that the whole focus of this week of prayer is on Christian marriage and then of course on Christian family. So we set the stage on the first day in the morning looking at Christian marriages and families and then seeing the contemporary challenges that today plague not just families or marriages that are outside there those who also belong to the house of God and in the evening we looked at five signs of marriage fatigue looking at the background that we use that the four seasons of marriage and we did say that it's not necessarily something that we can give a timeline that between ages one to five in marriage this experience we call it could be winter could be summer could be fall or it could be spring these seasons can come anytime multiple times even in marriages and then on Sunday we looked at the nine blocks for building a healthy marriage yesterday we considered the effects of anger of course on mental health and definitely also on families today we are looking at natural emotional well-being in the family which is more or less like a bridge between our first three presentations and then our presentations tomorrow Thursday, Friday of course Sabbath is going to be a celebration tomorrow we will be looking at parenting today issues and challenges it may not be a very long one then of course on Thursday we will be looking at the tripod of Christian parenting and on Friday we will do some reflections on some Bible passages contending for your children using three very key examples to be able to reflect on this contending for your children and like I mentioned the last day on the morning which is coming Saturday will be more or less a kind of celebration and of course thanking God for placing us in families and trusting him for his leadership in our lives this week when we began on Saturday we did mention that is a global family week of prayer global family week of prayer and of course we have modified it a little bit on the context by calling it family wholeness as we have it on here family wholeness but today what we are going to be discussing the presentation we are going to look at today is one of the presentations specifically prepared for this week and as you can see here it is being prepared by the couple who is in charge of family ministries for the general conference on the Adventist Willie Oliver and then Eliane Oliver but I have significantly modified success of it to give it some flesh and make it a little more practical and relevant to our context so it is important for me to bring out that now the seminar today explores family environment that is why I began by giving the long introduction of Saturday, Sunday and yesterday and then looking at this one as a bridge so we are no longer just looking at the parents but want to see the entire family before we move again tomorrow looking at the issue of parenting so we will be looking at family environment interaction and how it can impact an individual social, mental, emotional and spiritual well being across life span for that reason in the course of representation just like we did yesterday we will pause for about 10 minutes or there about for some personal reflection based on what we are going to project on the screen and it is important to do this so that we can see how this influences see how this influences of course as I grow up I can't stop talking about my family like of course second generation 720s my father being a pioneer adventist and also a lay preacher in the context where we grew up from but I'm also very familiar with the family setting as somebody who grew up in the village and not also that somebody who left home early with one of my older siblings which is African culture the older siblings I'm the last of 8 and the second the third or the second can take you out if you're married early and that can leave certain impressions in your life you see can cause some depend on the environment and the circumstances which you find yourself and I did find myself in some of those you can leave some very deep very deep emotions in mind that sometimes can be body positive positive and sometimes quite negative and if kia is not taking this can influence and I know some who actually suffer or perhaps are struggling with this you see as parents we want to see our children grow up holistically and I think that sometimes when we grow up and we become very aware there are some childhood experiences which we had which we don't want our children to have some childhood experiences that we had maybe negative that we don't want our children to have so it is a desire of every parent that children grow up physically mentally, intellectually, spiritually and socially and normally in our 720s philosophy of education we normally quote we normally quote no just go back to that slide we normally quote luke 252 I say luke 252 and Jesus grew in what wisdom which is mentally, in stature which is what physically then in favor with God which is what spiritually and then with man socially actually in wisdom would be both mentally and intellectually we normally quote this in our advent philosophy of education that Christ had a holistic growth I think it is somewhere that the bible also uses this kind of description that somewhere grew up also in favor holistic growth is always applied to Christ and I think it is a desire of every parent that we have this kind our children have this kind of experience especially also when we see the background in which we are coming from so we desire children to be fulfilling, to be purposeful to contribute to the home church and society and then of course also family becomes a primary center of nature primary center of nature and like I did mention earlier which I want to repeat here the choice nature of course family of it we are not all the same the temperaments are not all the same and that is simply because of what the gene does on us we take here but as children grew however we know that the environment is also very important and the first environment is the home so the choice nature temperament aptitudes the skill or nurturing becomes very important becomes very very very important and that is why we have a lot of bible passages 4 of them are given here those are very familiar they are very familiar 4 of them are 22 verse 6 talks about training of a child training of a child some versions today say educate because looking at the holistic then efficient 6 verse 4 talks about fathers do not provoke again family environment as a family environment we are also familiar with Romans 6 7 we have parents we are encouraged to teach diligently their children to teach their children when they sit when they stand when they walk and when they lie again family environment and another example is 2 Timothy 3 verse 15 and another example is 2 Timothy 3 verse 15 I think that should be 2 Timothy 3 5 2 Timothy 3 5 let me confirm that not 3 15 that should be 2 Timothy 3 5 we are Paul commanded Timothy 2 Timothy 3 verse 5 I think actually is actually think that is wrong when we can correct it here 2 Timothy 1 verse 5 2 Timothy 1 verse 5 so let me correct that one that is 2 Timothy 1 5 not 3 15 1 verse 5 there is a a misplacement of the fingers there now 2 Timothy 3 verse 5 is again said I remember the sincere faith we have and that is for this reason I mind that the gift you had and then that is the way I had in mind but if we also look at but where I have a mind is that one from a child you have no the sacred writings and it talks about the parents the role of the parents in bringing out and of course if we now look at 3 15 3 15 which is the second one so we want to put the two initially what I had in mind is the first one but then 3 15 you can also look at 3 15 which goes for the first the quotation on the screen but for your personal maybe reading we can also look at 2 Timothy 1 verse 5 because this also talks about the family environment because when you read 1 verse 5 Paul mentions the grandparents laws and then the mother Eunice see again family environment so that what he now fends in 2 Timothy 3 15 is actually talking about the product of the home so we have some of these quotations to portray this as well in the book child guidance page 297 page 297 how to make this statement for parents and teachers to do this work they more themselves understand the way the child should go again talking about the family environment this embraces more than merely having the knowledge of books it takes in everything that is good virtuous righteous and holy it comprehends the practice of temperance godliness brotherly kindness and love to God and to one another in order to attain this object the physical mental moral and religious education again the holistic understanding becomes very very very very important very very important in discussing this especially the family environment remember when I began I did mention that yes I left home quite early I think at the age of 5 I left home I began living with my second elder sister before of course I came back maybe home around age 12 13 or there about but I still remember some very childhood experiences you see one of such is because we are living in the northern part of the country I am from southern part southern Nigeria but we are living in northern part because we were married to a military man and then water was very scarce we have to sink well and when we are some of us are very familiar we have to throw the bucket into the well and then pull the water out and sometimes during dry season the water level is what so deep and I could remember that this particular well because if you throw in the bucket because the water level is very low the mud can mix with and you don't have a clean water so you can just walk on the steps very close and then you scoop the water fill the bucket and you come out and I remember one of these days early in the morning when I finished that I was coming up I think we are about 12 I missed my step and fell and I still have the scar here I also the other day I think we are sharing with some from friends outside here I can also remember vividly we are talking about the adverse child experiences I can remember also vividly my immediate sister playing with her in the joy of siblings playing I ran, she ran after me pushed me and then my family here was severely fractured that it took time and those are very traumatic experiences some may come in different ways some may come in different ways now experiences and research shows that every child in the first 18 years of life could have some of these experiences it could be an abuse it could be a neglect it could be severe household dysfunction and if we can go to the next screen we see some examples some other people here even though it's a bit far from you but when you have the slide you can look at it very well under abuse and neglect at home it is said that in some homes between ages 3 and 8 a child may have suffered sexual abuse in some homes or verbal abuse I see or verbal abuse which of course will be the way our parents spoke to us or physical abuse I grew up with parents especially my mother who was a disciplinarian who believed that a child can hear she believes so much in what the Bible says spare the road and you do what and spoil the child and many parents believe that but sometimes some parents leave children with lifetime injury and very difficult experience so this also can happen then we talk about living in care or being homeless maybe this for some of us here may not be affected then the other side of it we talk about domestic violence at home some homes children grow up really really seeing parents really fighting really really fighting I was embarrassed once with my wife who visited the couple and the next thing we had was noise from the upstairs and the next thing was really really fight and children are there at home this affects then of course maybe incarceration maybe that may not be about alcohol abuse drug abuse it could be mental illness or even parental separation it could even be death of one of the parents one of the parents now some of us here possibly that is what I say now and various studies before I go various studies worldwide review at least one third of children at least one adverse childhood experience before age 18 and approximately 14% experience two or more adverse childhood experience as for adverse childhood experience so I just want you to relate because the point here is that to some extent if not well managed a child, a parents adverse childhood experience can influence his marriage can also influence even his family environment how he relates with children the adverse childhood experience can influence his marriage can also influence even how he relates with the children so we just want to spend some time like we did yesterday just to reflect on your own we are not going to groups just look at it here unlike yesterday I'm not going to ask questions to see who suffered what or who experienced what but let's just look have a mental picture can we go to the next slide okay just look at it here now so maybe you can relate you may able to relate is it maybe that of parents physical abuse parental divorce family violence neglect at home witnessing violent acts maybe outside the home possibly in the neighborhood or family member attempting or committing suicide maybe substance abuse mental health problems or having a household member who is in jail or prison of course war or political conflict becoming a refugee the last one the we know Nigerian civil war 1960 to 1970 I think I was just about 3 or 4 that also is something I have not forgotten when my parents had to leave because you know the war was against southern Nigeria west and south trying to conquer the Nigeria which we call the Biafra I still remember that but about 4 or 5 of the child experience my leg accident and that war these are the 2 child experience that have ceased I have forgotten many things but these 2 I say these 2 these 2 have these 2 and of course for this time we are half a year on now that then maybe then surveillance was limited maybe soldiers fought as closer range but if it were not where you can use surveillance to see people how could we run but I know of children who went through this so the issue is that depending on how parents grew up on how parents grew up and how they might be impacted in one way or the other by some of this adverse childhood experience it is possible if not properly managed then the adult in adult life that can influence a person's marriage how he behaves that can also influence even how he release with his family members highly with family members so we could just look at this again and see we can relate with that so it is essential to understand and address these factors just like yesterday when we were talking about the issue of anger and we said that sometimes the immediate cause of anger may not be yuri cause of anger that could be something deeper that could be something deeper in the same way also a family environment either by the father or the mother what controls the family or informs the family environment may be a very distant experience very distant experience of childhood very distant experience of childhood and so the idea here is that to be able to create or nurture an environment a well-being it is also possible to do some introspection actually it is important to do some introspection and see how we may be able to detach ourselves from maybe a negative experience denying it sometimes may result into something else but at admittance and then the ability to walk through it can go through it so it is essential to understand and address these factors that put individuals at risk and be committed to protecting them from this so parents therefore can do their part by creating a safe and stable environment but we said to be able to do that as a parent sometimes it is necessary to do a kind of introspection especially on this adverse childhood experiences and see whether any of them is not influencing the adult life again cutting from Adventist home page 16 paragraph 1 here Eli, why he says to a large extent parents create the atmosphere of the home cycle and when there is a disagreement between father and mother the children partake of the same spirit take your home atmosphere fragrance with tender thoughtfulness if you have become and strange have failed to be Bible Christians be converted for the character you bear in provisional time will be the character you will have at the time of Christ, at the coming of Christ if you would be a saint in heaven you must first be a saint here on earth the trace of character you cherish in life will not be changed by death or by resurrection and she makes a very profound statement here you will come out from the grave with the same disposition you manifest in your home and society if there is no transformation of course Christian experience second Corinthians 517 which I have referred I think it do also I believe strongly in that if any man being Christ what a new creation a new creation it is possible for transformation to take place to take place so while of course this advanced child experiences may be very traumatic and painful but as Christians we can walk through them we can walk through them to see how we can minimize the negative impact of such on the family and even on ourselves of course even on a family and that is what she is saying here and so another thing also here is going to the issue of advanced ACs let me just use ACs that also can influence parenting style that can also influence parenting style and I'm sure we are very familiar with these four types of parenting style which we don't need to overflog authoritarian permissive, neglectful or authoritative authoritative sometimes the home we come from can also influence except again there is a change of world view that is change of world view a replacement of the world view a Christian world view then that also could be possible so if we again look at possibly we could place ourselves maybe in one of this maybe looking back at our homes I say we could place ourselves in our homes we could place ourselves in one or two in one of this in one of this but research parenting research parenting has identified two factors associated with the dynamics of the parent child relationship we are talking about the family environment family environment as I try to raise for children I think I was saying we don't actually say we have finished raising children maybe they are settled but raising children at least one is 24 24, 25 sometime this year 22 and we see the developmental stage and then of course third one 18 we sometimes ask ourselves whether we are controlling so much or we are supporting so much and sometimes also you realize that both parents don't have the same the same style we see both parents don't have the same style like I come from a family where my father believes much more in talking to you he believes more in talking to you reasoning with you so that you can understand but like I said my mum was more or less the action person who believes very much in spare the road and wards and support the child maybe my wife also tends towards my mum maybe something like that because I see that maybe it's like my wife tends also towards my mum we are you see you have to cause we are they feel affirmed but at the same time they know they are responsible they are also responsible and that is the balance and so children are more likely to become responsible and emotionally healthy adults when parents have a healthy balance of warmth and boundaries and like I said I come from a home where I saw the balance in the father and mother and I think somehow also I see also the balance in the home but it's very important there's also a greater likelihood that they will accept parental values develop morally according to age and become socially responsible and I think when we stay develop morally according to age is very important of course family environment because developmental psychology helps us to understand although sometimes we want our children to perform at an age bigger older than they are we want them to exhibit setting characteristics older than their age of course there are some children who are gifted who can actually be 13 but they behave like 17 some may be 8 they behave like I think that even in my own family too the family with the 4 children the maturity level for each of them is not exactly the same but what we are saying here is that when there is that support and control it is possible for children to grow up accept parental values develop morally according to age and become socially responsible and caring adults and we come again to another text from a quotation from a white adventist page 15 paragraphs 3 and 4 home should be made all that the world implies it should be a little heaven upon earth a place where the affections are cultivated instead of being studiously repressed our happiness depends upon the cultivation of love sympathy and true courtesy to one another the sweetest type of heaven is a home where the spirit of the Lord resides if the will of God is fulfilled the husband and wife will respect each other and cultivate love and confidence so creating a heavenly atmosphere and the five of them five traits have been identified five tribes have been identified in this presentation here healthy families create an atmosphere where angels want to dwell on our first day here at the Sabbath we talked about some of the characteristics that God desires that they be evident in families because these are the characteristics that He used in defining His relationship with us love compassion discipline faithfulness loyalty we cannot talk about trust, perseverance protection and provision these are not just automatic they need to be walked upon love, compassion discipline, faithfulness loyalty trust, perseverance protection someone has said family is where we love where we share where we play where we laugh where we fight at least but not with a hand glow because some tension can also exist but where we live so one of the the ways of nurturing emotional webbing in family is to create a very positive atmosphere where angels want to dwell and we will say again here that the characteristics will be love compassion discipline, faithfulness loyalty, trust perseverance, protection protection and provision of course in the context of support and control they have that balance that we have talked about here in that context the balance of love and also and also control and also control the second trade is Heady families practice effective communication of course experts in communication can positively talk about this but we will just address it briefly Marital communication is an interaction between spouses involving action of information creating meaning and influence each other positively or negatively I believe that one key text that can help us is Colossians 4.6 We have policies let your speech always be with grace season result that you may know how you ought to answer each one So heady communication at home is very important now and this could be verbal and non-verbal communication experts tell us that body language actually takes a larger percentage of communication how I say it you see how I say it 55% then the tone of voice is 38% and then words how many percent just about 7% I say the tone of voice the tone of voice and then of body language and sometimes also at home of course we know how we can use we can use this now some strategies to improve family communication one of them availability availability I told you the story yesterday or two days ago about my daughter who said listening to me with words with your eyes not just words not just your ears be available be available so create time cherish time in every family but be schedule hot and talk about things also create time to talk about things talk about things when a child begins to say I want to tell you something daddy or the husband says or one mother says so and I say wait until I have time and it takes one week, takes two weeks it is likely that the person want another year elsewhere so availability is very very important is very very important available to each other and to one another as the case may be then clarity clarity we say exactly I think that was in that was maybe sometime in October also because my second daughter was doing so much job and I had told her this so much job we are doing part of the money is going to your face just to discipline her so that she will let it in and by the time I ask her later she made some good money working for three months in her school in the US she told me as I said no you go and write down for me this money you made give me what you have spent on each before you say we now have this amount and my wife said you are not always clear on what you say you should have told her from the very beginning and I told her I said no you didn't tell her exactly that this is what you want and I think she repeated that to me two or three times when you say something you always like to moot and you think that people have understood you why not say it very clearly you see so that people understand this is what you mean exactly I said but I told her no no no I was there when you were talking to her on phone you didn't say it clearly possibly I didn't say it clearly the way she would understand it but we resolved that because I had to say ok you go back like my daughter give me a term as for me this is how much you made tell me how much you made and tell me how you spent it and then the balance was ok you put it in your tuition account we will still support you but at least so clarity is very important it could be in many other areas in other areas then being a good listener is also very important for at the risk of overstating we want to listen both with our ears and words and our eyes being a good listener big listener and then also being empathetic being empathetic identify with family members feelings letting them know you understand their situation understand their situation of course like my first daughter I told you the experience of her war I'm sure that is also going to be for her even though she was more than 18 and AC carrying her bag everything she had abandoning them running for her dear life from Ukraine when the war began and of course she has been with us now be able to finish few months before the war began but sometimes you could see that she is not herself because everything she had she abandoned her and you need to realize you may be talking she may be looking at you but you need to let her know that she is your dear so that empathy is very important that empathy is very important and we try to take her along as much as possible while we engage her and then within that very soon she will get all her documents in place and then she can move to her next stage of life so empathy is very important identify with family members feelings and letting them know you understand we may not feel exactly the kind of pain that they feel but if they are aware that we are not just say it is your own problem that we are with them that can also enhance the communication in the home that the third thing is healthy families have family bonding time and then family bonding refers to being intentional to connect with family members for the purpose of improving family relationships it is like in our African context here that sometimes is not very much cherished you see is not very much cherished and that is why we talked about when we should be friends at home not just friends outside so bonding is very important bonding is very important we will talk about the literature bonding can improve communication I say it can improve communication if there is that assurance of safety from children they can tell you they can tell you you see they can tell you my little girl one day she came to me and said when I have bad dream when I wake up what do I do I say when I have bad dream when I have bad dream hardware always reacts and I told her and that was when she told me that she had a bad dream when I have bad dream I react and many other times too she has sought to explain something very deep so it can improve communication it can minimize and resolve conflicts it can improve self esteem because people know that they are valued you see they are valued it can also foster mutual respect it could also protect family members from external negative pressure why this because if the home is not safe if home is not safe I will speak about this again on Friday when we are going to do reflection on contending for your children if the home is not safe children will go out and think that if if the environment becomes hostile for children they should be able to find safety at home so it can also protect family members not just children family members from external negative pressure now possible bonding activities we are drawing clarity to an end we can do affirmation of memorable events unique to the family what are some memorable events unique to the family family milestones and engaging activities that involve the entire family you see what are memorable events unique to the family so we could possibly want to lease them we do that in my family and we always find occasion to talk about it from time to time also the family milestones some major events some major issues that took place some major issues that took place then of course some occasions this bonding it is not necessarily the length of time of a whole day but the quality press attention and emphasis so this can improve bonding then volunteering together too volunteering together can also help like in the church here like in Aloka church my wife and I belong to the community service group so we can volunteer together when we volunteer families can volunteer together and go and do something and do something before we came here 9.5 years ago every year the church I pastored in the Babcock University since a big university we normally take one community project to visit children's home visit maybe the modelers or visit I forgot the name now maybe Dr. Mutai will help us those who are terminally ill I think they say home we call them also I'm trying to but I think they escaped me now and sometimes we take the two families especially the older two so they can appreciate even life and see how things look like and of course church volunteering outreach so a family can volunteer together can volunteer together of course for for all that children now even my first child what are family when they live home it's about lunch of course it's not possible for everybody to eat together at the same time but I think it's important also for once in a while for the family to have meal together I think that is very important so our time is going fast very fast then family outing I say again that for us here maybe some people is not very important but I think we practice this a lot in my home family outing I see from time to time family outing together and somebody has said traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion I say it gives an opportunity for the family also to bond together to bond together and then spending time together doing some family chores of course I know many families do this okay let's hear the families play and laugh together our Bible text which were our dear sister ready for us say a cheerful heart is good mercy from the good news Bible say look how hard the good news Bible posits say being cheerful keeps you healthy it is slow death to be gloomy all the time that is how the good news posits say being cheerful keeps you healthy it is slow death to be gloomy all the time to be gloomy all the time humor is important at home a family can be serious but it is also very important a family to laugh so we can create an atmosphere of joy and delight in the home delight in the home and this can strengthen family relationships too family relationship and then also for some natural bonds and crazier memories so humor is important at home a family can be serious but it is also very important so humor is important at home very important at home then it has also been identified that humor promotes affection and fosters closeness by enabling the members of the household to enjoy on another's company it encourages honesty and transparency it creates freedom and easy tension and opens up a channel which even healing can take place so how do we cultivate humor getting to the last one now where we can resolve to laugh when even we don't feel like laughing especially for men we feel always very serious we can know for the humor around us identify what makes your spouse or children laugh of course we do all those things and many families do it and sometimes too in a non-derigatory way we can make light of even some members of the home which we do sometimes just make light and people laugh not necessarily that we are pulling them down they are pulling them down the final possible trait for natural emotional well-being in the family is how the families worship God together which is a family order this cannot be overemphasized for a whole 10 days as a church in January we spent a whole 10 days talking about the importance of prayer and of course not just a corporate prayer in the church but family prayer it's very very important God gives the mandate and responsibility of providing spiritual guidance to family members directly to parents especially in the context of our discussion Christian parents but we know today there are many things that affect family worship but family worship helps in discipling younger family members I say have been discipling younger family members on Saturday one of the opportunities we spoke about that's available for the Christian home is intergenerational faith transfer and also talk about family as a fortress as a Christian families can fulfill can provide this opportunity when family worship is taking very very seriously it also helps family unity family unity and also can contribute to the strength of the church stronger church community because when by the grace of God we are able to raise children who are disciples then there is also the likelihood that they contribute to what they contribute to the church and the church community is strengthening basic principles are being participatory being participatory it does not matter how young a child is everybody participates making it possible especially for young families who are still raising children it's very important for this to be emphasized participatory not just only one person at the same time now like when my son left my son left home and then my daughter left and then of course my second daughter left before my fourth daughter there to still see that we connect apart from the one that we had home we have formed the tradition and I keep telling them a time comes when we can no longer do that but for now every Sunday at 8pm it does not matter where a tank to zoom we bring the family together and so wherever anybody is he knows that 8pm we are there at time zone we bring family together for one hour and in doing so we rotate it so that even those who are fast feel that they belong to the family of course for those of us who are around we practice that daily but we can also need to adapt family worship according to age according to age because what may be possible and relevant for a child of 5 cannot be relevant for a child of 25 so that adaptation is also very important and then of course time for worship family dynamics also differ family dynamics differ some we say we pray at 4am some at 5am family dynamics differ but I think that what is important is consistency consistency a family can decide this is how we do our family worship it cannot be prescriptive mode of saying family worship must go the same way so that is also very important that is also very important family worship is the time the family should be together and get together and spend time worship God and just be family then it can also be forstand by cultivating and nurturing personal spiritual commitment in family members in family members so that they know that they are also accountable they have a personal accountability I say personal accountability personally I believe that as time goes on we have the collective worship but it is also very important to emphasize personal accountability because a time comes when we cannot dream can never always be gathered but if they have been raised to know that they have a personal spiritual accountability I say they can charge family worship and that can also enable them as they grow and then cultivate a gratitude culture in families that is also that is also very important so as we conclude this evening this has been a little longer than the previous evenings some families encounter more stress than others but everyone experiences the ups and flow of a life where deaths divorces step family blending economy crisis pandemics or other life occurrences when the emotional well being of the family members is nurtured including parents and children the family becomes more resilient and the individual members also become more resilient resilience acknowledges the retrials but believes emotional well being is possible despite the challenges so what we have done so far is to see how we can be continue and for some of us still determined to be able to bring that family emotional well being to homes that is not just something of a particular age is something that can influence everyone because ultimately our desire is that we have a healthy home a healthy family as we prepare for eternity before we take our song I believe for lack of time I won't speak much on that again probably tomorrow things through us may not be very long but just to say that the family ministry council will share a worksheet which we have developed and we are encouraging families we keep emphasizing that every day remaining part of the program when encouraging families they are just three activities there they are three activities when encouraging families to attempt to do some of the activities attempt to do some of the activities and I believe that when we attempt to do some of them definitely it will cause some positive changes positive changes so that will be circulated on the virus platform but again I want to encourage you just attempt, I will speak on that again tomorrow just to practice some of those activities I believe strongly it will make some positive positive changes even in the context of what we have discussed this evening the issue of family well-being so we invite our choristers to lead us in the song as we prepare to pray in him will be SDHM 0301 nira still nira let's all rise and sing together nira still as we pray for the prayer requests that we have before us mighty lord in heaven come to thank you because you are a mighty god you have been a blessing to us throughout our lives it is because of your power and your love for your children that we are drawn much much nira to you Lord may you love us with an everlasting love your children we come before you with our praises our joys our burdens before you that is why your children have decided lord this week of family life that lord we may come to you that you may hear us we ask you that lord you know every point that your children have written how we plead with you that lord may you shine your countenance on us that we may see the bright beams from your throne and we will find blessings lord it is in the families that Saturn has brought a lot of tears to us because he knows that when we are happy in our families lord we will serve you he knows that when we are having peace with our partners we will serve you when we find a lot of joy with our children we will serve you this is why Saturn is detaring this from us may you father open to us the blessings of heaven and we will find peaceful families you will restrain us from sins that destroy our families other relationships that destroy our families you will destroy them our children that are going astray lord you will bring them back to the fold sicknesses that destroy families lord you will prevent these ones lord we pray that may you bring blessings to us your children let praises be to thee any other need that we have lord and we bring before you in these baskets that your servants are holding lord may your angels write them and as you say nothing escapes our lips without you noticing nothing that is for our good you can prevent from us may you provide for us lord provide for your children continue to bless us this week as we continue with our prayers and as you bless our speaker in Jesus name we pray amen let's be seated what do we say to our pastor what do we say again we want to thank God so much for these wonderful messages which we are continuing to receive I am sure especially from tomorrow I would be very happy to see younger people I am not saying the older ones should not be here I am saying only that this really this issue of children and especially when you are in Nairobi I think these are the type of talks you cannot miss I know some of us are saying I will go and watch in YouTube I will go and put it on YouTube but I know how busy people are in Nairobi they say that they don't manage to do it I think what I want to encourage each and every person is to come and listen to these programs life is the only way you will enjoy so I am requesting us let us pass the message so that tomorrow we can see many many of us coming to attend you already had very interesting discussion from our pastor I think during our time I was just trying to think very hard whether I created laughter and humor in my house I think I may have missed that opportunity I don't know but I think what I am saying is there are good things that you can get from this talk and I think there is no doubt as pastor said it creates, it brings it brings togetherness so my request is let us listen, let us come and let us come be blessed here so thank you pastor we will continue to pray for you and I want everybody to continue praying for pastor so that these messages may touch somebody out there as you heard tomorrow the subject will be parenting today's use and challenges I am sure if they are young and medium sized parents we are keen to listen because really this is a time when it is very difficult and very challenging to bring up children otherwise I want to thank all of you who have come today we appreciate you for creating time we thank you so much I also want to thank our pastors let me ask our pastors to wave to us in fact today we are blessed all our pastors are here pastor yes, can we wave back thank you so much pastors sometimes you get busy but we appreciate when the flock see the pastors they feel more obliged to be here so thank you so much for coming and thank you again all of you who came physically and those who are watching us virtually we thank you for creating time please pass the message to our friends otherwise I want us to stand as we say the grace so that we can all go home may we all say the grace may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forever more amen God bless you and see you tomorrow