 Pat Novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my office says Pat Novak for hire It's about the only way to say it No, you can dress it up and tell how many shopping days there are no Christmas But if you got yourself in the market, you can't waste time talking You got to be as brief as a pauper's will Because down in the waterfront in San Francisco everybody wants a piece of the cake and the only easy buck is the one you just spent It's a good life If you work real hard and study a little on the side you got to trade by the time you get to prison I rent boats and do a few other odd jobs. You can't afford to pick it on It works out. All right, if you put your tongue in Hock Because down here you shouldn't talk. It's like installing a set of drums in a belfry You make some noise, but it's never the right kind. I Found that out a few days ago must have been Tuesday or Wednesday night. Anyway, I was sitting in the office reading Time magazine from the door open I Looked up and had to keep right ongoing because the guy was so tall He'd have to bend over to see through a transom and he had a voice deep enough to read out as a bassoon Good evening, mr. Novak. I'll take your word for it. You have a small office. I'm small time What's on your mind? My name is Leahy. I want to hire you. Yeah, sit down. Are you cold? Yeah, that overcoat around your neck You're either cold or a priest. Oh I'm a priest mr. Novak. I'm sorry father. You got a slow brogue. What do you need a few hours of your time? I Want you to help a man escape from prison? Father you'll never get along with a bishop mr. Novak in a curious way. This is an errand of mercy. Well, this isn't my year for mercy I'm sorry father. Maybe you don't like to hear it that way, but if I got the right fee It wouldn't be mercy anymore when I say it's Sometimes tonight a man is going to break out of Alcatraz if he's allowed to get into town He may kill somebody you want me to stop him That's right And if he doesn't kill anybody he can still be shot down by the police Well, that's the percentage father if he comes off that rocky nose that stop worrying about him If you could bring him to me, I know I can talk him into going back tell headquarters. They'll do the same thing If I did that I'd break a promise This is the only thing I can do Will you help me? Yeah, I suppose How do I pick him up tread water in the Baidley comes by he's due in at pier 19 sometime tonight when he comes ashore bring him to me I'll be waiting at the ferry building. Well, suppose he doesn't want to come suppose. He wants to party How am I gonna get him there? I don't ask you how to say the beads you're any good You'll get him there, but you don't want him in sections. I want him all at once mr. Novak I wouldn't ask you this if it weren't important, but I gotta help him. He's one of my boys. Yeah, sure What's his name Joe Feldman Feldman yeah, if I don't worry about the spelling you don't have to either He's one of my boys slow down. Nobody's pushing your father. I don't know when he's due But I'll be at the ferry building from eight o'clock on. Yeah, I only got one worry Is there really a guy named father lehi? I suppose you'll have to take a chance on that. Yeah Well, it's a big chance you come in here with a story anybody can see through like a screen door And I'm supposed to buy it you could dig up a collar. What happens if you're a fake just try to guess right Suppose I don't then you're in the same spot Pontius pilot was good night mr. Novak Well whoever Joe Feldman was he had a good friend because when father lehi walked out of there I knew he was all right You could tell without even testing him the way when you pick up a pool cue, you know right away whether it's any good or not He stood at the door for a minute and he walked out You got a funny feeling that he didn't walk into the night that he was big enough to wrap it around his shoulders And take it with him. I Got a last look at him as he turned the corner under a street lamp He looked even taller now, and you know if somebody stood him in an oil field You couldn't tell him from the rest of the Derrick's Well, I made a couple of phone calls, and then I closed shop and went down to the end of pier 19 to wait The bay looked as dark as a bruised crow the fog was beginning to drift in over near the pier's By nine o'clock you couldn't see a thing you felt like a guy trying to shave in a bathroom full of steam. I Was about 30 feet from the end of the pier when a small boat pulled in and let somebody out I was sure it was my boy, so I moved behind a shed and waited The boat pulled away and the guy started down the dock. I Waited until he moved past me You ought to be glad how's the rock, huh You lonely mister. What do you care? You are by a beer and talk to the bartender. I'm busy. All right, you're tough Feldman Let's go now you got dates for us. You're gonna see Father Leahy. Come on. Are you doubling for Gabriel? Leave me alone mister. I don't want to go look junior if we draw straws you're gonna get the short one That's supposed to be a gun in your pocket you get a chance to find out that's what I'm gonna do cuz I have one too It starts to hit your stomach back down Now where's yours mr. Tim it? The bad night for bluffing, so goodbye. Yeah, come here You can let go easy then come on Now you want to start again no All right, I'll see you man Leahy I gotta make a stop first make it after we'll take five minutes Look mister if you want to do it the easy way. Let me make this stop you go with me all right five minutes And then you see Father Leahy suit yourself I doubt if I'll make Kevin, but if you want to run into parents, it's all right with me You need the credits you need the credits Joe Feldman wasn't very friendly he sat over in the corner of the cab and he didn't say a thing He just kept looking at me and waiting like a guy feeding arsenic to a rich aunt a Few minutes later the cab pulled up in front of a hotel on Geary Street, and we walked in One look at that lobby, and you got the idea The place was about as cozy as an abandoned mine shaft Over by the wall It was an old mohair couch and the legs on it were so warped pretty soon. It was gonna look like period furniture There were a few chairs and over by the stairs a faded calendar of a girl in tights holding a jar of mayonnaise and winking whenever that man And it was a broken clock over the desk But you know it was all right because nobody there cared about keeping track of time It was something you got rid of in a hurry like a bent quarter Oh, we went up to the second floor we walked down a long hall that smelled like an anti room to a sewer When Feldman knocked on the door she opened it right away The room was full of taboo She stood leaning there for a minute a sort of a girl who moves when she stands still She had blonde hair She was kind of pretty except you could see somebody had used her badly like a dictionary in a stupid family Felburn seemed to know her Hello, I am well the harvest hands arrive all at once. Yeah good for the crops, but tough on a woman come in Who's your friend a missionary? I guess he grabbed me down by the docks. Does he talk or just stand there looking healthy? He growls a little do you really growl? Come on hurry up lady your friends got a date. I'll bet you bite instead Don't worry about him. He can go over in a corner and play fifth wheel. Now. Look. He's got five minutes use them quick Yes, I came up with a message and the time's been changed stay around till 10 o'clock all right That all yeah, that's all You want the other four minutes? Let's go all right Open the door. Yeah, you didn't open it fast enough Feldman hit me I wobbled for a minute and went down like the price of winter wheat Fatherly he had any loose prayers lying around now was the time to crate him up and ship him over Because I wasn't gonna stay awake long enough to test the varnish. I Rolled on the floor a couple of times and then I took a rain check on the next couple of hours When I woke up it was like buying a new Nash and then finding out you can't drive Joe Feldman was lying next to me with his throat cut like a pound of rib roast His head was over to one side and his body was twisted over the other way as if he couldn't make up his mind Which direction to die in I? Got up and roll him on his back He was grinning like a Pullman porter at the end of the line and his mouth was half open as if he expected you Dropping a suggestion on your way by I Noticed right then how thin and small he was about as fat as a shadow and tall enough to scrape his head on a lampshade Well, there wasn't anything I could do but wish him luck So I called the check stand at the ferry building and had them page father lehi about two minutes later. He answered Hello, there's no back father. Yes, call in the outfield your boys dead. I See what happened somebody didn't like him lots I wasn't around for the main event. No, I'm in some cave up on Geary Street. He wanted to come by here first Father who's Anne? I don't know this Feldman got a girlfriend. He's got two sisters I think one of them's named a tall blonde with lots of speed That's your definition, but it'll probably do as she was around for a while in case you ever want to check What are you going to do get on the back stairs and pretend? I never heard of Joe Feldman. I'm sorry, Mr. I'm sorry it worked out that way. So am I father if you liked him. I'm sorry He may have been a nice little guy. I could do without him, but if you like it I'll say he was a good little guy. I don't know we could start a picket fence with him Why because you've got the wrong man, Mr. No back if he's under six feet you've got the wrong man whoever you've got up there doesn't Joe Feldman He's happy about it now father It's the percentage Isn't Joe Feldman why that's the waterfront father if your name's Joe nobody you still can't do better than eight to five At least Joe Feldman was smart if you're gonna get your throat cut. It's a good time to send in a substitute As soon as father lay he hung up I knew hanging around that hotel was gonna be a waste of time like sending mash notes to a bearded lady If I couldn't prove the guy was alive They were gonna charge extra down at the desk and if Hellman down at homicide ever found out I brought the guy up here I'd have about as much chance as a bottle of scotch at a cocktail party So I picked up my hat and started for the door. I looked at him once more, but he wasn't gonna say goodbye So I started out Who? Hello, Helman expecting me no back. No, I'd have rolled him first Invite me in crash the party Helman. You'll be more at home. All right He sure looks lazy. Who is he supposed to be Joe Feldman, but Feldman let him do the hard work I must be good friends. You better check. I don't know the guy Here here's his wallet. Let me have it. You're gonna break your fingernails. Give it here. All right No money in here. We're gonna drop the case My grilly Didn't you like you either? You're wearing out the rug Helman. I don't know the guy you brought him up I checked at the desk. Well check on who left then I brought him up here on a phony leave Why because I was hired to tow him around he liked the room so we dropped by and he cut himself shaven I wasn't around there was a girl here for the handshakes What kind of girl I don't know Helman. How many kinds are there a name was and she had a fast pulse That's all I know you must know more than that if you don't you'll never get a lawyer I won't need one you'll save money at least cuz you got a real hole this time Novak We get a phone tip and find you in the murder room. You got half a story Helman I know but I'll get the other half until then you're under technical arrest It's practically the real thing you got a technical head Helman I wouldn't tip myself off somebody else would walk around Novak and tie yourself out Because you'll wind up sitting down. In the meantime, I'll have your tail your men couldn't follow a moose through a revolving door And I look Helman. I'm gonna double back this guy's a phony lead I was supposed to meet a guy named Joe Feldman, but he never showed up. He didn't know I got a dead copper to prove He didn't your boy Joe Feldman killed a sergeant named grub at the Gold Rush Club Club a half hour ago Better start that walk Novak Well, there are two kind of raps you can't ever beat Cheating a woman with kids and killing a copper so I knew Joe Feldman could put in for reservations right away And I knew Helman had stayed with him like a February cold He'd stay with the whole thing and I'd have a real tough time explaining I couldn't explain it to myself What about the message up in that room? Why did the little guy tell Anne to stay until 10 o'clock? Why did he get off at Pier 19 instead of Joe Feldman once he got there? What was Feldman doing at the Gold Rush Club, and why did they spot him so fast? Well, it pointed to one thing a police tip-off, but that's as far as I could go On the way down I stopped at the desk and I asked the clerk to see the register He pushed it over toward me. It was a dirty brown thing that looked like an old tortilla. Somebody had left behind It didn't do any good. The registration was a phony Well, I had to do something in a hurry So I looked up the only honest guy I know an ex-doctor and a boozer by the name of Jaco Madigan He's a good man. He used to be a smart one too. I'm still he started chasing a jigger of beer with a glass of whiskey. I Finally found him in the Pied Piper room arguing with somebody about the words to Annie Laurie Patsy a drink for mr. Novak something cheap but impressive stop it will you Jaco are you gonna be drunk all your life? Yes, it's only a matter of willpower Patsy I'm probably the only man in the world who intends to carry a hangover into eternity will stop long enough to give me a hand Well, yeah, I'm in trouble. Of course you're in trouble You'll always be in trouble because you can't recognize it Patsy your fuzzy Jaco you have the social outlook of a bull with a hot foot and there's no hope for you because if From time to time a moral feeling does sweep over you you mistake it for influenza and go to bed All right. All right. Oh, you try hard enough you go through the motions Patsy, but you never get anywhere You go stumbling through life doing a tight wire act and a rubber band. You're always in the middle Will you listen to me? It's because there's no variety in your life. You won't allow it You're a broken down banjo not a very good instrument to begin with them to make matters worse You allow everybody to come along and pluck the same string. All right. Are you all through now Jaco? Yes, you sound angry. I think you have a bad disposition to what kind of trouble Well, I tried to help some guy at a prison tonight. You got drunk and thought you were the parole board No, I did it for a good guy a priest named Leahy Yes, the guy was already out and father Leahy was trying to hurt him back without getting shot But this guy Feldman didn't want to play another drink will clear this up for me. I picked up the wrong guy I took him to a Geary Street hotel I napped a while and they cut him up like a piece of parsley sounds like a gruesome hotel The dead guy's name is Mike Greeley. I don't even know who he is Well, this is no time to start building a friendship anyway who is in the room some girl She may be Feldman's sister would she kill a man if she did he'd be crushed to death No, I'm sure somebody else came in that room. You better talk to Feldman He's a hard man to reach a sergeant almost made it tonight Feldman shot his way out of the Gold Rush Club That's one way to get out of a nightclub. Well, Helman steamed up. So you got to help me Jackal You'd better look up father Leahy. You'll probably be electrocuted and if you are he may have some drag I want you to go down to the Chronicle morgue and pull the clips on Joe Feldman Will you get everything you can and then hit the horse parlors find out what they know about him, huh? Maybe he's a heavy drinker. I'll check the bars. Jackal wake up and get on there If I don't pace helmet on this thing, I'll be a dead pigeon. What am I supposed to do? I don't know you might start cooing. Good night lover Well, as soon as I left Jocko, I went down to the Gold Rush Club on O'Farrell Street It was a little nightclub where they charge 80 cents for a drink of whiskey that a killer Redwood The floor show is just as bad and the headliner was an Oriental dancer whose only talent was a zipper. I Sat at the bar and I tried to pry some talk loose, but they liked the boss I finally got a hold of a fat waitress who should have been wearing a harness instead of slacks She told me a little The owner was a guy named Charlie Giffin. He used to make book with Joe Feldman She told me that Joe's sister worked at the Gold Rush Club for a while, but she got sick a few months ago and quit I asked the girl if tonight's shooting was a police plant She didn't know but she said that Feldman had been in to see Giffin tonight and on his way out He ran into trouble. I gave her five bucks and she looked hurt as if somebody had given her a plow for Christmas She showed me where Giffin's office was and I walked back there Giffin wasn't there, but the taboo was do you have the right door? Mr. Novak? You seem to be in all of them. Do you mind if I lean in the doorway? No, but I'll bet you need shoulder pads by this time Where's Charlie Giffin why I want to ask him about Joe Feldman ask me. I'm his sister I'll ask you about Mike Greeley. Who killed him. I don't know. Is he dead? Yeah, he couldn't stand the bleeding. He was all right when I left What were you doing up there? Waiting for Joe my sister and I were going to meet him up there Relax, Mr. Novak relax for me. No when people relax for you. They do it on the floor I was out long enough for homicide to catch up. They want me for Mike Greeley, but I'm gonna send him you or Joe You're forgetting my sister Norma should I for most things yes, but she was up in that room tonight after me I'll ask her ask her about the money too Well, you're out in front of me on that you see me better that way Joe had a lot of money on him tonight, but the police out he wouldn't carry it with him I know the money's gone. So's Norma. Do you know where it is? No Well you growl and you bite and you lie you must have a full day Sit down relax. I want to see Giffen. He won't be back tonight. I'll lean back That's it Betsy You really want that money I can split a motive Can you split at 90 10? If you can't you better get your breath back. I won't need it. I don't want to talk anymore Come here, make me stop over close If I get any closer, I'll be on the other side of you Betsy you ought to get time and a half darling Thought you were coming in to curl up with a good book. Mr. Novak came by full of questions This is Charlie Giffen Betsy. I got some questions for you, too. Giffen. Well, I'll scum down the bore of this gun Over for the desk Novak. Did you lose that knife Giffen by the desk? That's it Where's the money Novak? I gave her the last where's the money Joe gave it to somebody Try the Red Cross, Mr. You got a tender face Novak now get out of this club before I slap on a cover charge I was getting sick of tonight In three hours, I'd seen more service than a mix master in a cooking school When I left the Gold Rush Club, I dropped by headquarters. Helman had nothing to show but his badge They had a drag net around the city for Joe Feldman and they lined up the record on the dead guy in the hotel He'd been a friend of Joe's before his trip to Alcatraz There wasn't much I could do if homicide couldn't find Joe. I couldn't find him So I looked up Norma Feldman in the phone book She had an apartment out on the avenues, but when I called there was no answer So I tagged by my apartment to see if Jaco had left a message I opened the door Norma was there and she had a gun to keep her company. Come in Mr. Novak Yeah, I Came up here to kill you if you're Norma the rest of the family is ahead of you What's happened to my brother? I don't know. Please. What's happened to him? Mr. Novak? Well, if he killed a cop, he's hiding out. I know he didn't mean to do that. Mr. Novak Joe's not that way Somebody told the police he was going to be there That's why I came up here to see you. Oh put down the gun. You can't shoot through the tears Mr. Novak if you know where he is, tell me make him give himself up Make him stop hiding like a small frightened animal. You look big to that copper. Please Please find him Yeah Hello, this is Jaco. Yeah, you sound ruffled Joe Feldman's sister just walked in to kill me. Don't argue It's the best offer you've had what you find out Feldman has two sisters. I know they both go to pieces the gold rush club is owned by Charlie Giffin He owed Joe Feldman $2,000 and the horse people say Joe collected it tonight. It fits in Jaco everybody in towns after that dough They'll have to look some more. Hmm. I'm out on our well old Boulevard homicide Just Joe Feldman out of the gutter homicide finish second. He was a lucky guy. He didn't have the dough on him No, he stashed it somewhere Yeah How do we know he got it there Compact it's as he's getting too social A minute Jaco hung up things began to fall into place But I knew the last piece was gonna pinch somebody hard If the Feldman blood was gonna turn bad father Leahy was a good man to send in so I called him He was out, but I left word for him to get out to Norma Feldman's apartment Norma and I left and on the way we picked up Helman When we got out to her place and started up the stairs we could hear people moving above There's no point in trying to keep quiet because Helman was creeping up the stairs like a stallion with a broken leg Yeah, if you got a bomb touch it off too, huh? I'll open it Helman Hello, Novak, did you find the dough given you mean my stolen dough? Yeah, come on No, you and Anne better wait. This is Helman from homicide. We're leaving you better move Novak Not until you settle a murder rap. Can you pay it off that fast? I can do it on the way to the door Oh, wait a minute point the gun at Helman. He's official I can take you both so move away you two Norma and and I are leaving look Giffen Homicide gobbles up nightclub big shots like you nothing to me copper move away. You've got the hammer use it and come on through All right, I will You need a refill Giffen that's right darling hand him your gun and and you couldn't have done that you couldn't have taken I'm out. All right, so they fell out you better taking for murder Helman you little bum that leaves you all the money I can spend the darling. You better do it fast You can fucking for both murders my grilly and my brother. I'll testify and I'll ride there in a cab on your dough Giffen Yeah Are you gonna pose or take me Helman if you're anxious? Sorry about you Norma you get nothing out of this, but that's better than I got Goodbye Anne Lots of luck. Thank you darling. You know what kind I Hope you're rock Come on Helman I'm ashamed of you and leave me alone Norma. I'm ashamed of you What you did to Joe? I'm ashamed leave me alone Norma. I'm sick. You know that I didn't know how it was gonna work out Oh Joe was trying to help you when you got greedy. He was trying to help you That's the only reason he came out and you let this happen. I told you I didn't know how it was gonna end I thought they'd get him and take him back again. There's no good in you and I couldn't find good in you anywhere You let that happen to Joe you stood by and watched him walk into something like that. All right I stood by what can we do about it now except weep and that won't help him, but hey That'll help Joe a little I'm here at least they hate you for the short time left please Give them told you to spend it fast. Well, you better you better say it bend it fast Ask him at the hospital that isn't so what do you mean? Ask him out there what you've got they told You ask him what you've got ask him. What's tearing you to pieces as come they'll tell you They'll tell you you've got cancer. No, I'm a police. Tell you cancer ask them They'll tell you your foot now spend your money spend your money and see that it lasts as long as you do Goodbye girls. Hello, mr. Novak Did you miss much father? Oh Feldman luck is running kind of bad tonight. It does for some people I guess All they get is unhappiness They were at the same way you'd wear a sports coat only they never seem to get a new one. I'm sorry about tonight, mr. Novak I'm sorry. It's not a smoother world. Yeah, but if it were you'd be out of a job father See you later If you get a bad first break you never run the table that's what happened to Joe Feldman Charlie Giffin owed him dough and wouldn't pay up But Joe didn't care until Norma showed up and told him how sick and was so He decided to collect from Giffin and divide the dough between the girls Father lay he couldn't stop him. All he could do was try and make it work out Joe was gonna get the dough and meet the girls in that hotel room But he changed his timetable and sent Mike Greeley up to tell the girls Giffin showed up there and figured that Mike had tumbled to a double cross. So he killed him and Engineered the double cross, but she didn't mean to go that far She wanted all the dough and tipped off Giffin He was supposed to turn the dough over to her and then have the police pick up Joe, but Joe got there early He took the dough away from Giffin and shot the copper on the way out Giffin followed Joe and killed him out on Arguello, but the dough was gone He finally tumbled to Norma's place and that's how her apartment filled up so fast Well Helman asked only one question. What did I get out of all this? Nothing father lay he offered me 50 bucks, but I didn't want it Jocko was with me and he offered to give it to charity I guess he did because we're Jocko spent at the drinks aren't worth money Pat Novak for hire was previously released by ABC the American Broadcasting Company for listeners in the United States and Re-broadcast for our men and women overseas This is the United States Armed Forces radio service the voice of information and education