 When we're talking about consent, it is a hard discussion to have. It's still uncomfortable for some people to talk about, you know, a healthy sexual relationship. Never mind if you're trying to discuss consent around sexual assault or if there's alcohol involved. Oh my gosh, senior chief wants us to talk about sex. Like she really wants us to talk about this. Yes, I really want to talk about it. You're old enough to say, raise your right hand and join the military. We're old enough to talk about sex. Because you have to understand, you know, what is consent? The best way to explain a healthy relationship is consent. And if people don't understand what consent is, does he or she, do both parties agree? Consent is that yes, that enthusiastic, I'm into it, let's get ready to rock and roll yes. Yes, I want to kiss you. Yes, I want to touch you. Yes, I want to have sex with you. I'm really straightforward. So if I want to get sexually active with someone else, I'll just tell them. Asking for sex is what you want to do. Because if that person wants to engage in intimate contact, you want to know. You don't want to assume that I have a green light when you don't. People skirt around the issues and don't want to say it out front because maybe they think it's lame or because they're afraid of hearing no as an answer. It's not a turn off for someone to ask me directly. I think it's very brave and I appreciate it. Ask me. Don't be scared to ask me. If you can't feel comfortable to ask the question, then maybe we need to think about that we're not ready for this situation. Consent isn't necessarily just vocalizing yes or no. It's reciprocation as well, giving and taking participation, active participation. It comes down to touching and then reciprocating that touch as well. Consent is that person who is actively participating. Their actions are telling you that they're participating. Consent should be a happy, healthy thing. Both people want to have sex the same way, at the same time, in the same place. Does somebody seem to be pulling away a little bit, sitting back, not really engaged? Does somebody got their arm around them, but they're leaning out from that person? Your partner is just laying there and you don't know whether or not to continue. You can stop and say, hey, is this still good? If someone doesn't like something, you might get a facial expression saying, hey, that doesn't feel good. If you're not sure, if you can't read body language, get that verbal. Pardon me. Would you like to continue to have the sex? Yes, I would like to have the sex. Thank you very much. May we continue? Yes, you may continue. Awesome. It doesn't have to be like that because, again, if you care about the person that you're with, you're just going to stop and check at different intervals, are you okay? Is this okay? Do you want to do this? And sometimes it might be okay to ask, do you mind if I kiss you? Do you mind if we do this thing next? It creates a dynamic that makes the situation better, in my opinion, and you also understand that the other person that you're with likes it too. And that might make it even better because now it's even more exciting. It's not just me doing what I want, it's, wow, we're both into this? Okay, that's exciting. But you don't have it right to say, well, we got you this far, we're sitting on the bed in the barracks. It doesn't make it okay at that point. If the other person says no, that's the end of it. Saying hey, I feel like someone says no and I'm like, all right, how about some Netflix? If you come up and you make your approach and they give you the big, it's a no-go, it's a no-go. It doesn't mean that you should come back and try again, or maybe after three more drinks he or she will be ready, and no means a no. One yes is a yes all night, it's until no, and as soon as a no, that's consents over. Yeah, we're gonna get it on, so on and so forth, and then when they're in that moment, that individual decides they don't want to, consent can be taken away at any time. Well we had a prior sexual relationship, so it was okay. No, it's not okay, you have a right to say no, you have a right to choose whether or not you want to have sex with that individual. Both parties are willing and ready to participate in the action at hand, not one individual submitting to the desires of another. That's not quite consent, a lot of times that's fear. Fear and submission does not constitute consent. I'm not residing myself to what we're doing and I'm not just enduring what we're doing, that's not consent either. So consent is, in my opinion, two adults agreeing to participate fully and completely in the act, not one giving in and being submissive to the other. We consume a certain level of alcohol that our decision making is impaired. And so in those situations, when I know that someone has had just a little too much to drink in the same way that I would not trust them with my keys, I'm not gonna trust them with any other part of my body either. If I know that you've been drinking a little too much, I'm gonna back off, because your yes might not really be your yes. When someone is intoxicated, they're vulnerable, and so there are some people that are looking for that vulnerable person. And some of those people actually might be predators, using alcohol in place of a gun as a weapon to get someone incapacitated for the purpose of having sex with them. If you have to get your date drunk in order to get laid, you're doing it wrong, you know, and you need to recognize that. If you know that that person has had a little too much to drink or if you don't know that person very well and you don't know their threshold, you don't know how much they can take what their tolerance level is. The best thing you can do is just back off. Everybody responds differently to alcohol, so you can't say, there's a certain number that while I drink this much, so therefore I can't give consent, it's all about the totality of the circumstances is what we call it. Don't worry about, you know, legal consent. At what point is consent reached and when does, you're not a lawyer. Don't be a lawyer. Just know that if that's a crucial part of your plan, you're wrong. Sex is supposed to be fun. If sex isn't fun, both parties are not interested in participating, then we have a problem. If you take advantage of someone or if you don't obtain consent and you do something against a person's will, you've committed a crime. We are all equals and no one's entitled to me or my body. Ultimately it comes down to respect for that other individual. We treat each other with respect. We expect that.