 The narcissist can never know the real you, the narcissist may think that they've got you all figured out, they may think that they know the real you, as something that exists outside of their imagination, as something that is not an imitation or artificial, as something that is authentic and genuine, based on things that they've experienced with you, based on past events, as though they know you, as though they've got you all figured out, they know everything that they need to know, which is typical narcissistic behaviour. They think they know everything based on their feelings, because their feelings become facts, rather than reason or logic, rather than a cause, explanation or justification for an action or event, rather than the power of their mind to think and understand, form judgments logically, rather than rationality, logical thought or scientific thinking. It's whatever they feel in the moment. It's not based on sensible or wise thinking. It's not based on insight, intelligence, perception or understanding. It's their emotions, and their emotions are just a result of their past traumas, of their past deeply distressing or disturbing experiences, of severe and lasting emotional shock and pain that they experienced in their childhood. It's their post-traumatic stress rebonds to an event that they found highly stressful, which is what caused them to become narcissists. It's what caused them to become self-absorbed that they lack empathy. It's what caused them to create a false self and the illusion. And that is the reason why they will never know the real you, because how can you know someone if you don't even know yourself? And how can you know yourself if you don't self-reflect? If you don't heal your past traumas, they will never know who you actually are. They will never be able to see it. They will only see a reflection of their past traumas, and they will project the feelings that they felt from those events onto you. They will want to put you through it, because it creates a distraction. It prevents them from concentrating on something else. And that something else is themselves, their own madness and insanity, which is why they're always seeking an escape from their trauma and pain. They always needed aversion or recreation, they always seek an amusement and entertainment, because they just don't want to look at themselves. They don't want to witness the mess that they've become, so they're always looking outside of themselves. They're always looking for new supply, but they can never sustain it. Or if they do, it's only because their supply doesn't recognize that they're full of shit, that they're not genuine, that they're just bits and pieces of something they've seen in movies or on television, or other people they've admired and looked up to, and deemed to be something desirable or attractive. Because once you realize that, you take your power back, and then you would no longer want anything to do with them. So this only works if they can fool their supply, if they can pull the wool over their eyes, if they can mislead you, if they can cause you to have a wrong idea or impression, because the reality is that they can't be vulnerable or be themselves around anyone. Being yourself means you like who you are. You live your life how you want to live it, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Even if the entire world is against you, you will still remain true and authentic because you respect yourself. You have due regard for your feelings, wishes and rights. You take yourself into consideration instead of worrying about other people's opinions, because you accept that you can't control other people or their thoughts. But narcissists are very worried about what other people think. Their false image is the most important thing to them. If they have a choice between their false image or their supply, they will always choose their image, even though it's just a picture in their mind or an idea of how people perceive them. It has nothing to do with who they actually are. They fake an identity because they think it will be attractive to other people. They abandoned their true selves a long time ago and that is why they will never know the real you and they will never experience true love, because they chose to manipulate people over authentic connection. Which is why they walk around with an inflated ego. Thinking as though they're better than everyone. When it's just distorting their ability to recognise the truth in themselves and other people, because sometimes you have to accept that maybe you don't know everything. You need to be open minded, you need to be willing to learn new things. But narcissists tend to react intensely and take things very personally. They assume everything is about them, because in their minds there is nothing outside of them. They live in a world inside their heads with a population of one. So there's no room for them to invite anyone in. Because if anything real ever got inside their heads it would destroy their false reality. It would destroy the lies and illusions that they've been telling themselves. And then they just have to accept that they don't even know who they are. Which is something they're never going to do, because they need this false character to extract supply. They can't generate that power and energy from within. Which is why they're so manipulative and deceptive, because that's how they survive. Which is why when you reject or threaten to expose them it's like death to them. They lose their minds. They can't just laugh it off and say that maybe they got it wrong. Because they wouldn't know where to start. They've been living their life their entire lives. So all they can do is manipulate people. And they will come across as very arrogant and entitled. As though you're like this object that exists to serve them. You're this possession. You belong to them. It's fake confidence. It's based on their past successes. Where they were successful at manipulating people's emotions. Because that's all their supply really is. It's just someone who's under a spell. They're in a trance. They're not in a sane state of mind. They're just sharing a fantasy. A dream. Which is why when you first meet them you will often feel like you've found your soulmate. You've found the one. When it's all just a fabrication. Crazy makes you crazy. They manipulate you into sharing this delusion that exists inside their heads. It has no basis in reality. Which is why as soon as you start to catch on. And you start speaking on it. You start using logic and reason. They have to devalue you or discard you because they can't be around that type of energy. It's exposing them for the frauds that they actually are. It's like kryptonite. It renders them powerless and helpless. Because they're not connected to their soul. Many of them may not even have one. It's all just their ego. Their false sense of their self-esteem or self-importance. Which is just based on other people's opinions. It's not because they actually believe it. Which is why they need constant validation. They need supply. Because it makes them feel alive. It makes them feel like they actually exist. When in reality they do not. But when you're around them you will feel whatever they want you to feel. When they're sad you will be sad. When they're happy you will feel happy. But none of this is actually real. It's just because there's no boundaries or separation. They see you as an extension of them. They manipulate your emotions. They gas like you. They're all encompassing and suffocating. And it just makes you feel trapped and oppressed. To where you just have to believe in whatever they're telling you or showing you. Because you can't get away from it. They're always there. They never give you any space to breathe or to think for yourself. They don't encourage you to be who you want to be. So all you can do is reflect whatever they want to see or hear back to them. So they can never interact with anything real. Because they're not real to begin with. Which is why if you have an opposing idea or belief. Or you just present your authentic self. They have to destroy it. They have to devalue you and put you down. They have to make you think something different about yourself. And if they can't do that then they will try to change what other people think of you. So that it reflects on the different back to you. They will try to erase your identity. They will try to stamp it out. Because it's something they don't possess. All they have is this inflated ego. This need to feel important. And you will find yourself having to be very serious when you're around them. You won't be able to be yourself. Because your identity is a serious threat to the illusion. It intimidates them. It makes them feel inferior. They don't know what it is but it has a lot of power over them. They just can't be open minded. They can't accept it. Because it reminds them that their reality is false. And that they're not who they say they are. So they have to devalue you and discredit you. And they will start to mere campaigns and force fly monkeys. And it's all just in an attempt to control you. To make you think that something is wrong with you. To prevent you from being yourself. Because that's where your true power lies. And they never wanted you to know that. But if you're smart you will detach. And you will give them a false character. And be your true self whenever you're not around them. And that is the only way that you can be yourself. And if you don't take the initiative to do that. Then in time it will erase your core identity. And you will become a shell of yourself. Whenever you're around them you can't be who you actually are. You can only react emotionally. You can't use reason or logic. Because that is a threat to the illusion. It exposes their false self. So you learn to walk in eggshells around them. Out of fear, guilt or shame. Or sometimes because you think that you love them. Or because you just want to keep the peace. Because you have empathy. And you can see that they're having a hard time adapting. So you feel bad for them. But by doing that it's almost like you become them whenever you're around them. Because they're manipulating your emotions. They're inducing you into this dream like state. Which is how they seem to develop this supernatural ability to always know where you are or what you're about to do. Because they're always the orchestrator. They arrange and plan by means of clever planning or maneuvering to achieve their goal or effects. But they don't connect the dots to realise that it's just a reflection of them. Because they lack empathy. The world revolves around them. And they just see you as the subject that exists to meet their own needs. Which is why you can only ever be a reflection of their false character or of everything they hate and despise by themselves. There's no in between. They're never on the fence. You're either everything or you're nothing. You're either all good or you're all bad. And you may notice this when they deal with other people as well. But it's all an illusion. Because they secretly hate everyone unless they're serving their image. Even their flying monkeys are just pawns. They're just agents who act on their behalf. Other than that they have no significance unless it pertains to you. And their flying monkeys have strong narcissistic traits. They have a desire for attention, a lack of empathy and a desire to bully or manipulate you. So they're not even real. They don't know who they are. So they will never know the real you as well. All they can do is disown parts of themselves that they don't like and assign them to you. But they can never actually see themselves. And they can never see that the people around them are narcissists as well. Because they have a black and white mentality where people are either all good or all bad. And if you're bad then they have to be good. And everything they do must be right while everything you do must be wrong. And you will know when you're around a narcissist. Because you will find that you're emulating some of their disordered behavior. And level of narcissism may have been induced in you. Which is often just an in the moment reaction to their mistreatment of you. Of you being treated cruelly and violently. Regularly and repeatedly. And this is what they will use to impart further abuse in the form of blame shifting. But they will never actually see what they're doing is wrong. Because that is how they manage their shaky sense of self-esteem. By using denial, delusion, gaslighting, minimization, deflection and playing the victim. They will always refuse to accept it. Because it's either that or they accept that they're not real. And that's just something a narcissist is never going to do. Instead they will lose their minds and try to destroy you. Because in their minds if no one is around to tell them they're wrong. What difference does it make? Which is why they're so hell bent on their smear campaigns. It's what allows this delusion to continue. Without that they would be left to their own devices. They would have to look after themselves. Which is something they can't do because they have no self. It's just this character that is enabled. And sustained by their target and their flying monkeys. If you took all of that away. You would soon see them lose their minds. They wouldn't know what to do. Because they're dependent on using other people to get their emotional needs met. Which is why they have to break people down to make them dependent on them. And in that process you will learn a lot of wrong things. Because they will indoctrinate and corrupt you. They will tamper and infuriate with you. And for improper use. In a way that is not in accordance with accepted standards especially of morality and honesty. Which will have an undesirable and unwelcome effect on you. But fortunately anything that you have learned can be unlearned or forgotten. It will never completely consume you. As long as you practice acceptance and you invite it in. Because although you may not desire this type of behaviour in your presence. What you resist persists. Life isn't about what happens to you. It's about how you respond to it. Adnarsis is a very resistant and unaccepting. Which comes out as passive aggression. By indirect resistance to your demands and avoidance of direct confrontation. Because deep down they already know that what they think of you doesn't make any sense. And they secretly desire to be involved with you. But they can't. They can only respond to their post-traumatic distress. Things that have happened to them in the past. Things that they thought were harmful or unfair. And they're not going to put themselves in a position where they could be rejected or humiliated. Because they felt that way before and they never want to feel that way again. So now they'd rather be on the other end of it. By gaining power and control over you. When all they may really want to do is just be themselves and have a good time like a normal person. But they can't because they're too afraid that something might go wrong. That you won't accept them if you saw the real them. Because something happened to them a long time ago. It had a damaging effect on them. So now all they can do is respond to their past traumas. Which only leaves them hating themselves. And then they never get to experience true love, peace or joy. Because that energy has to go somewhere. So they just end up dumping their emotional garbage onto you. You become this emotional trash can. And then they wonder why you become so difficult and oppositional. They wonder why you don't accept them. Because they just assume that it's something to do with you. When deep down they know the truth. They know they have a problem. And it's the result of their past traumas. For that reason they act like they don't want anything to do with you. But deep down they do. Which is why they try to attach themselves to you. And they have difficulty letting go. Because they don't feel like they're good enough. Which causes them to become more narcissistic. Where they act arrogant and entitled. And now they think you owe them the world. It becomes transactional and you become an extension of them. Because they can't stand themselves so that energy has to go somewhere. And if they're not going to experience it. Then you're going to feel it instead. It's going to rub off on you. It's going to become a part of your character. As a result of you spending time with a person. Who has those negative traits. Which is never going to result in anything good. Because nothing good can grow from having that way of thinking. But this is what they have to do to survive emotionally. They have to make you feel bad, wrong or crazy. They have to project these negative emotions onto you. So that they can live vicariously through you and feel sane. And for this reason they can never know the real you. And they can never experience an authentic connection. Which results in them only thinking short term. They're aware of what they have to do to get their emotional needs met. And they realise that it's always at another person's expense. And by this point they know that nothing good is going to grow from that. But this is just what they have to do. And if they've done it with you. It should reveal to you that they're in that state of mind. And it's going to continue with whoever they're involved with. Because otherwise they could have been caring and compassionate with you. But they can't. All they can do is dump that emotional waste on people and make you feel like you're worthless. Because that's exactly how they feel as a result of their past traumas. So they're dumping their baggage on you. From a lifetime of failed relationships and endeavors. And they're expecting you to carry it and deal with that. Because then they can sit back and watch you going through it. And in that moment it makes them feel a little bit better. Because it acts as a distraction from their pain and traumas. It makes them feel like their situation isn't so bad. And sometimes they will switch and act as a hero or saviour. This person who can help you out. Because that makes them feel powerful as well. So they will switch back and forth between these roles. But neither of them are genuine. They have no identity of their own. All they have are these responses to their past traumas. Things that they never resolved. And these could be things that were done to them. Or things that they did to other people. But either way it had an effect on them. It made them feel bad, guilty, shameful and wrong. And it buried them in a pit of their own misery and pain. Which they are constantly trying to run away from. But they can't because they're resisting it. So they can't let it go. And instead they hold grudges for life. Which actually has nothing to do with you. They're holding a grudge as a result of their trauma. They damage people. They're broken. They're full of resentment and hostility. And from that nothing can grow. Anything they touch will fall apart. Because anything they see or perceive is filtered through their past traumas. They can never see anything real. They can only perceive things through what hurt them in the past. Rather than accepting things without criticism or judgement. So all they can do is pass off everything they hate about themselves on to you. And this is why they can't be alone. It's why there's always conflict and confusion, chaos and drama. They're dysfunctional and maladaptive. Because they don't want to be who they actually are. And even we don't want any part of them. Some of us may accept the ill treatment. But deep down they already know that it's just because we've been gaslit or manipulated. They know that no genuine person would ever decide to be around them. Which is why it's all about keeping you down and making you question yourself. Because they already know that themselves. But once you know the truth, you will decide to be anywhere other than around them. Because contrary to what they led you to believe. You do love and accept yourself. You always did. It's just that they gaslit and invalidated you. They made you question yourself. Because that was the only way that they could control you. Otherwise you would run far away. Which is why at times they will bring back the false character. They will show you whatever they think you want to see. And you may think that you love them. But you're just attached to a false character. And it's something that doesn't even exist. Because it's just a reflection of your own virtues and ideals. That's what you fell for. Which showed that you loved yourself all along. You were just brainwashed and to think that you didn't. They had to pull you outside of yourself. So that they can feel more comfortable around you. Because the truth is that they have no identity of their own. If they were comfortable in their own skin. They would feel no need to lash out at you. But many times they beat us down emotionally. And we react in ways that are out of character and we become defensive. But that's only because we don't need to be anyone else but ourselves. And we don't want to have these parts of ourselves robbed from us. Which is how it feels when they try to pretend that we're alike. Or as though they can fulfill us. It's invalidating. Because deep down we already know that it's never going to pan out like that in reality. They don't even complete themselves. So how could they complete us? But what attracted them to you was yourself love. Which is why it's what they later robbed from you. And you began to feel like less of yourself. And then you felt attached to them. Because they just took a piece of yourself. They took something that belonged to you. Because your self love shines the light on their lack of self love. It triggers and intimidates them. Because they don't self lose or self reflect. Instead they look outside of themselves for things to complete them. Which is how they're not even a complete person. And they have no identity of their own. They're just a concoction of other people. And that is why there's no end to the abuse. Because they keep needing parts of you to sustain them. And despite what they do to you, you continue to love yourself. Which is a threat to their false character and the illusion. Pay attention to your emotions when you're around them. How you feel is how they want you to feel. And how they feel is typically a million times worse. You're just experiencing a fraction of what they have to go through every day. Because they don't love or feel positivity like you do. What we feel is what we have to give. You can't give emotions that you don't already feel for yourself. And they also cannot receive anything from you authentically. Unless they are manipulating you. Which means that it isn't authentic at all. They never get anything real from you. They only get a reflection of who they are being. Which is fake. But they need it because they're constantly in survival mode. They operate from the reptilian part of their brain. So they're only thinking about satisfaction and reward. And this overrides any empathy or respect. And they will try to pull you down to their level. They will try to get you to act out just as they do. So that they can feel normal and sane. As soon as you react, they will point the finger at you. And they will deny or ignore anything they did that provoked you up until that point. Which is insanity. It reveals that they're completely insane. A lot of them may think that they're normal. Because they think they know exactly what they're doing. But that's just it. All of the cluster B disorders know exactly what they're doing. And that doesn't make them any less insane. In fact that just makes it even worse. Because although they know what they're doing. They're experiencing these intense negative emotions which they cannot control. They can't control how they react. They lack discipline and self control. Because they're extremely weak and insecure. Which also makes them very dangerous. Because there's no telling what they will do next. They're unpredictable. And it's all because they don't love or respect themselves. If you love and respect yourself. You can't hate or disrespect another person. We all know the difference between right and wrong. Even though they try to justify it. And it doesn't matter what they tell themselves. Because the shame will continue to grow. And that will result in them becoming more and more abusive. As they don't self reflect or heal their wounds. So they will end up becoming even more crazy and delusional. If you get them enough rope they will just end up hanging themselves. And even then they will just play the victim and blame you. It's a vicious circle that they can't get out of. And it's why they're always so miserable. But as they age they will become more meditative and covert. And they will get better at hiding the abuse. And it's why they're always so miserable. But as they age they will become more meditative and covert. They will get better at hiding the abuse. But everything they do is just manipulation. Nothing from them is real. There's no genuine action out of their heart and soul to uplift another person. Without expecting anything in return. Even if you've been with them your entire life. Everything they did was manipulation. Nothing was genuine. It was fake. And that's all they've ever known so they will never know the real you. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel. You can donate at payable.me.narch.survivor You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's narch.survivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.