 Hey guys, what if the movie sucks? It does. It really, really does. Heh, Star Wars. Hey guys, so with the coronavirus keeping us kind of indoors for the next little while, I thought, hey, let's start just doing random reviews and something I realized I hadn't reviewed was the original Star Wars saga and we're starting off with the worst one. Even in an epidemic, in the case of where I can pretty much watch nothing else but movies at home, this is still by far the most boring, painful, useless experience in the entire Star Wars film. I have tried on four different occasions to watch this over the last seven years. Always fall asleep because it's fucking boring. It is the most boring Star Wars film in the entire saga. Sure two is technically worse, but at least it has a pulse. Phantom Menace is a crime against cinema because it fails to do the number one job of any sort of film and that's be entertaining. The last time I was able to watch this movie in full was when they did that 3D re-release of the first film. I still even have this variety children's charity pin that they gave with it. That was the only time I could actually watch it because everyone else in the theater was ripping on this movie. And what's unfortunate too is while the acting, the writing, and the directing are as lame as a wet sponge, everything else about this movie is trying so hard to make up for it. John Williams delivers a fantastic score even to the most dull, dead bit parts of the film. The visual effects team does a fantastic job with both the Gungans, the world, the fights. All the CG and practical effects in this film, very few there are except for maybe Yoda. These guys put the literal burden of the shit heap that George Lucas created on their shoulders and they tried to carry it all the way to the end. Have the visual effects aged over the years? Well, yeah, these are almost 20 years old but considering the time they are still quite impressive. Sure if you kind of keep looking at Jar Jar through his entire scenes you see that he looks like some sort of inanimate weird pexy glass version of Plato but it's still pretty impressive. There are only two good points in this entire movie. The first is the pod race and the second is the duel of fates lightsaber fight. Other than that this movie has no goddamn pulse. Qui-Gon Jinn, while being such an instrumental character that essentially brings about the destruction of the Jedi is so painfully banana one-tone faced by Liam Neeson in this movie. Ewan McGregor who while being Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't really get to do anything except be kind of a little whiny little bitch and then Jake Lloyd. This is a two-fold thing. George Lucas doesn't know how to direct his actors, it's been evident and his writing is also terrible. There is an interview we can find with Mark Hamill, apparently they made the joke that they would hold George Lucas at gunpoint and tell him to read his own dialogue out loud. Sure and it was so hard a lot of times it's a true story Harrison Ford who plays the space pirate in film at one point threatened to tie George up and make him say his own lines at gunpoint. That was for the original trilogy so you can see that Jake just didn't have really much to go on because the dialogue that he has is horrible but his acting doesn't help either and some fortunate what this kid went through. Both him and the guy who played Jar Jar both of them received an untimely amount of harsh criticism, harsh bullying and both of them I think almost killed themselves because of it all. It's unfortunate to see too because the caliber of child actors in the last 10 years has improved immensely. We have so many really talented child actors and it's unfortunate that Jake just just didn't have that gusto. But again he basically was already falling on a sword when he took the role. Phantom Menace isn't the most painful film in the prequel trilogy but it is the lamest. It is the most boring and I never want to watch this movie in full ever again because I couldn't. I tried to last night and I fell asleep again. I'm giving this a one in a seven. I'm serious. It's horrible. I literally can't stand it. So that's the first in the original saga. So we will be watching the films as we go along since I don't have anything else to do. We're going to be watching Attack of the Weinykins next and then obviously we'll see what happens from there. But I hope you guys enjoyed this review. If any of you somehow find some way to defend this film, I don't know what you're doing because it's boring. It's so fucking boring. Thanks for watching the video. My name is Knitz and you might remember me from the animated cult classic TV show Undergrads. It's been a while, but I'm happy to say the click is finally getting back together in an all new movie thanks to a successful Kickstarter campaign. But we are still asking for your support. To see any and all updates about the upcoming Undergrads movie, be sure to check out and like the Bring Back Undergrads Facebook page. And with any luck, we'll see you guys soon.