 Good day and welcome back to the 4DOD podcast with you as always Mr Thomas Henley and today's being a bit of a strange one for me, I've been feeling quite calm on top of things, very abnormal for my stressy head as you will know. Today I've got a very special episode for you as per usual, we're going to be talking to Rachel Barcelona who is a sort of a big media figurehead in the US. She's Miss Florida and she's done lots of things in terms of Broadway in New York City. I won't divulge too much but we're basically going to be focusing around Rachel's story, some of the things that she's come across in her life, some of the amazing things that she's been a part of and I guess dive into the world of the autistic Miss Florida, very cool. How are you doing Rachel? I'm fine, I'm really happy to be on here, how are you? Not too bad as I said, quite uncharacteristically relaxed today. Me too. Yeah, I had a bit of a Instagram live session thing, I'm trying to do like a regular live session every Friday on my Instagram page now which seems to be going well. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it's been really nice because I tend to produce a lot of content like posts and videos and stuff like that but I'm not really big on the whole using Instagram stories and checking the comments every time that I post something. I never used to be big on it either, it's really funny, I think it was a few years ago the whole time I was on Instagram, I didn't even know how it worked, I thought the stories were just there and I never paid attention to it ever and now I'm addicted to them and I think my stories are really funny. What kind of stuff do you do on your stories? Well, I also, it's a mixture between me using it for professional reasons, I like to promote my events and I also like to show off my personality and what I like, I like to put a lot of jokes in there and I also love promoting other people too like for example, I love vintage things so if I see something from a vintage clothing store or a shop that sells, well, I saw this little ceramic troll for some reason and I just thought that's the cutest thing ever and I shouted out the person who made it because he made it by hand so that's just, it's little things like that because I just think that we should love other people and appreciate other people too. Yeah, definitely. And I think it's hard on social media because it's such a big place and it's quite hard to grow things on social media, you have to be like constantly producing things and scheduling things and doing things to make it big and there's a lot of people out there who produce some really sort of different and cool and educational content that I think, I see these accounts and I'm like, oh, God, I wish that you had as many followers as you deserve. It's just so tough on social media, isn't it, growing? Yeah. And it's really been tough for me because I used to have a lot of followers. I had over 10k, but I was hacked recently. So my, my account is basically me building myself back up from the ground up and I'm over 2k now. So I'm just always telling myself if I can get back to 10k by the end of the year, I'll be happy. But for me, it's really not all about the followers. I just want to build, I want to build a community of people who really, really like me for me. And that's what matters. Awesome. Well, on that note, would you like to tell our listeners a little bit about your story, who you are, what kind of stuff you do on a daily basis? Yeah, absolutely. Well, a lot of people know me for being well versed in the pageant world. I have done them ever since I was five years old because I was born in Clearwater, Florida. And in Florida, we take our pageants very seriously because we're in the South. But my parents didn't really care about that because they were not, they're not Floridians. My mom's from Canada. My dad's from Illinois. So they didn't really know much about that. Since I'm autistic, they were more concerned about getting me out there, making friends. And let's just see what happens. And I always loved being on stage. I didn't really have the big hair or the fancy dress because we couldn't afford that anyway. But I liked it. I just love performing. I love being in front of the camera. And I did it up till fourth grade. And then I stopped because I wanted to focus on my studies. I cared a lot about school. I won the spelling bee. And I just really, really cared about school. I wanted to stay in school because as you could tell from a lot of pageant shows, they cost a lot of money. Kids can get pulled out of school for that. And my mom didn't want to do that for me. But I restarted them when I was in middle school. And I just liked being on stage. And I continued here I am. I am I find it really interesting because you're saying something about like the spelling bee. I don't think in the UK we have such I know that from watching some like American movies and stuff that spelling bees are quite like a big thing over there. But I don't think we have very much of that in the UK. What is like the experience of going going to one like? Oh my gosh, I thought there would be like spelling bees everywhere to be honest. But the experience is it gets pretty serious. I'll just say that. But yes, from my experiences that you study really hard and they want to pick some of the smartest people definitely. So I know that when I was in fifth grade, they lined up all the kids and we had a spelling contest and whoever could spell the longest words and not mess up, that's who would go. And of course I did it. And there were just be like five of us. So five of us went and it was insane. There was a lot of people. It was like it was like a pageant in itself. There was a big building there. We all went on a bus. It was awesome. And I like that I got to go skip school for that day. I I forgot kind of a funny relationship with spelling because I'm actually I'm not that good at like remembering how to spell words. But I have a really big passion for like creative writing and writing in general. But I very much use like, like the spelling correction tools like a lot because I don't know. It's just like some some words. I just it's like I struggle to spell words that don't sound exactly like how this how the spell. Well, I think that that was sort of my thing because I love creative writing. I'm a good editor and all that is because I did not like math. I have a legitimate math learning disability. So I feel like this Calculia. Yes, that's it. Yeah. We all have our thing and that's what makes the autism spectrum so colorful. Everyone has their own thing. That's really interesting. Well, I suppose like before we we get into sort of the the big stuff around like your your pageant work and some of like the performing arts arts side of things. I guess what I really want to know is your kind of like your your backstory with with autism? Like what were your experiences of autism in childhood? Oh, boy, there is a lot that I have. There's I always say that I want to write a book about it, but it's just so much. Currently, I have I have two children's books about me coming out. So I mean, that's a start. That's really cool. But we'll just start with the few experiences. I was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. And everyone says that that's a rarity because there's this whole theory about the girl brain and a boy brain. And I apparently had a boy's brain, because everybody thought I had autism right away. And it's not very picked up, is it in women? So like the the masking elements and like the stereotypes and stuff. Yeah, but I didn't mask at all. And still to this day, I don't really mask. I am not ashamed. So I don't know what that says about me. But I still think that scientists nowadays, they got a lot of researching to do. But we can agree on that one definitely. But yeah, I didn't, I didn't speak until I was about five. And that's probably why I sound very slow talking, because I just I was very delayed. But I read a lot. And I didn't want to stop myself from learning. And my mom didn't want to stop me either. I still remember as a three year old, she was in the principal's office, she was like, I'll be damned if she doesn't go to college or make any friends or anything because there were doctors everywhere. And they seriously, they told her I was never going to go to college or be much of anything. That's really hard. I couldn't believe that. But I didn't want to give up. And I'm so thankful to my parents for believing in me when times were very hard. It sounds like you have very supportive parents. Yeah, yeah, even though they worked a lot, they always made time for me. And my mom is a nurse. She's a doctor now. But at the time, she was a nurse practitioner. She was working very hard. And she managed to get me some therapy. There were there were a lot of therapies, art therapy, music therapies, everything. And we did what we could just to make sure I was okay. And there's many, I believe this wholeheartedly, there's a lot of things you can do at home. If therapy is too expensive. I know, have you seen the things on Instagram where people make their own little things at home like slime? I think that's a great thing to do. So like, as far as like, like the struggles that you've experienced sort of at school, I know for a lot of autistic people, including myself, it can be particularly difficult around sort of secondary school, high school age. Do you have any experiences with with that? Did you find that you managed to sort of be included in like social groups or go through the education system? Okay. No, the educational system was awful for me growing up. And secondary school, what we call middle school over here was it's always a hard time for everybody, whether you have a disability or not. But when you are autistic, it's really hard. But I feel like my experience, I feel like I was manipulated. And my parents were as well. We had a very hard time trying to get me into a good middle school that would help me with autism. So my mom, it's a little hard to talk about what I'm ready to she found me that she stumbled upon this weird Christian middle school, and they said that they were going to help people with autism and other disabilities, and they had a great track record for that. But what they didn't tell my parents is that they were actively trying to fix people like us trying to make us normal. And we and we were constantly being abused under this horrible system of oppression. And I was abused by this school for three years until I'm so sorry to hear that until my mom got me out and I went to a public school. That's, that's really tough. I mean, I know from, you know, talking to other autistic people, you know, there's a there's a lot of like therapies and stuff which are quite sort of common place within, like a scientific or teaching or parenting communities. And a lot of these practices can be quite, as you said, they try and push you into a box and stop you from doing all your autistic things. And a lot of people say that it can be quite sort of traumatic for them during those times. Yeah, I feel like the school system, especially the ones that are really private, they try to sell you this idea that oh, we're going to help your autistic child, we're going to save them. But we're the ones that are going to be abused the most. We're always looked on as an outsider, even though we, we go into survival mode, we try to fit in for all those years that were bullied. And it has a big effect on us. I remember when I was in that school, I was constantly shamed. I was called names. I was locked in bathrooms. It was by the teachers. Well, by, well, there was, I'll get to that later. But I mean, by the students, but I did. There was actually an incident where we had a principal, but then we got a new principal. And everyone was kind of like, Oh, what's this guy going to do? He's, but nobody questioned it. But he was kind of a fire and brimstone kind of guy. And I knew he hated my guts just because he knew I was different. But there was, I went up to he was just randomly looking out at the window one day. And I just asked, what do you what is he doing? And he just touched me. Right. What what do you mean? What do you mean in that in that sense? Is it inappropriate touching or? Like inappropriate touching. He always had this weird kind of thing about me. Because there's just, I don't know if autistic people are weird or mentioned in the Bible and were bad. But there was the final straw when he called me a devil child Satan's daughter, even though he, well, he wanted some of this. I mean, I don't get it. But my mom was livid. Like she was just at the gas station. He literally called my mom. And just to tell her that I was being disobedient, and that I was a devil child. And that's when we had to leave. But everyone said that this school was heaven. But it was my hell. And this is one of the things I always talk about in my speeches about autism, is to really be careful about where you send your kids to school. Because even if you're autistic or not, middle school is going to be the hardest time for anyone. And we just want to be, we want to love ourselves. We want to embrace ourselves, especially if we're autistic, because we're always told to hide ourselves, no matter what. And I don't really like that. But the good thing is that I started my platform ability beyond disabilities while in middle school. And I say this all the time in pageants that when I was being bullied, I started my platform by writing positive notes on my bullies lockers. And one of the teachers saw me and she's like, are you writing all these notes? And I'm just like, but she liked them. And she told me to keep on going. And I've been going strong for years. And it's a platform for my pageant now. So yeah, I just want to encourage people that are like me that we're not alone. And we can do anything we set our mind to, or no matter what we've been through, we're awesome. I really appreciate you sort of opening up about your your experiences with that principle. So I can't imagine that, you know, that's a very easy thing to do. And, you know, I think it's from looking at sort of like the statistics, particularly for autistic women. But, you know, I'm sure other autistic people have experienced this, but manipulation tends to be a lot more effective on us, especially like, it doesn't be more effective on people when they're younger. But if they're if they're autistic as well, because we, we tend to sort of communicate and trust what people say, because we like to communicate directly to people. And so we have a lot of emphasis on people's words and what they say to us. And that sometimes can be, you know, abused quite a lot, because we we don't pick up on the the different signs that someone's putting across the indirect communication that something might be a bit off or they might be lying. And I know that also as well, there is, you know, some statistics around, you know, around sort of sexual abuse with women as well, which is, you know, it was quite, quite hard for me to read. But basically what I'm saying is I appreciate you opening up about something that's, you know, so must be must be very sort of raw and hard. Thank you so much. I really like opening up about it too. And it's really true. Statistics say that women with autism and girls too, especially, we are more likely to get kidnapped, we're more likely to get raped. And because autistic people in general, we're very trusting. I don't know why that is, but I know I was very trusting in my most vulnerable state. Because I feel like I was in survival mode. Deep down when I was 13, I wanted to be accepted. And it's hard when you're autistic as well, you just want to be accepted. And you know something is, I don't want to say not all that right, but a lot of kids, they might think what's wrong with me, why am I not like the others? And I feel ashamed saying that because I always say love yourself. And I do love myself, I love myself above all else. But at 13, you might not feel that way. And I'm just being real. We need to change that. Definitely. I couldn't agree more. I think, you know, for a lot of my life, I've always, you know, had some really difficult issues with my own self esteem and confidence. I think it's really hard when you see other people getting on and making friends and being a part of groups. And then when it when it comes to you, because you're a bit different in the way that you communicate and you think and sort of perceive things that kind of label you as this alien, weird creature. Definitely. Oh my god, like, I know I was talking about that I would I would just be at my locker and then people just randomly come up to me and they'd always ask, why do you look so sad? And I'm just like, what? What? I didn't think so. I'm very happy today. Yes. And now when I'm 26, or even years back when I had jobs in Florida, everyone would ask me, are you high? Because I have the slow voice. And I'm just like, no, I'm tired, but I'm not high. So you really can't win with people who are not autistic. Hey, up, just popping on to say thank you for listening to this podcast this far. If you could do me a real solid, please make sure to rate the podcast if you're in a podcasting streaming service and do all that like, subscribe, comment stuff on YouTube that I'm even send a heart in the comments if you don't feel like typing, make sure to check out my link tree which is always down below in the description or head over to my Instagram page at Thomas Henley UK for daily blogs, podcast updates and weekly lives. This podcast is sponsored by my favorite noise canceling noise reducing earbuds that you can adjust the volume on really, really great thing. They're called debuts and you can find the affiliate link down in the description of this podcast for 15% off discount. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of the podcast. That's all from me. Yeah, I think there are there are some good people out there who, you know, see us for who we are and, you know, appreciators, but I'd say that definitely in general, especially kids. Yeah. It's it's a it's a tough thing to kind of navigate. I also wanted to say as well, you know, with your Christian principle, you know, saying that you are a devil child when you when you go in around posting positive notes of affirmation on you on your bullies lockers. I don't see that at all as being evil or, you know, a bad person or a devil child. It's kind of the opposite, isn't it? It's it sounds like the something work into the like the fundamental teachings of, you know, being kind to people and respectful and because if you really think about it, that is what Jesus wants us to do. But I don't know why people hated it. I just think when you get brainwashed to think a certain way, you just do what people tell you and your rationality goes out the window. You can't have one or the other, you know. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess we've touched on some quite sort of hard, hard sort of hitting things. But in terms of, because I know that you mentioned about your parents being, you know, very sort of supportive of of you and your life and what you want to do. I guess like what what kind of support and what kind of and who were who in your life were like, the people who brought you through these these hard times and supported you along the way. Well, definitely my mom, I really don't like to play favorites because there are no families very important to me. And I have my whole family because I have a really big family. I'm Italian American. So I have a lot of people that helped me along the way. But since my mom is and was she's a doctor now she does a lot of good stuff. But at the time she was I'm trying to get the timeline in order at the time she was a nurse practitioner and she helped me a lot when I was three and she took me to all my therapies. I still remember when I was in grade school every Friday she would drive me to the nearby. It wasn't really a hospital. It was like there's our house and then a few miles over there's like this physical therapy place where the old people go. Right. So my whole life I was surrounded by adults. I'm an only child. So there's the old people who had like a bit a big extended family outside of your family. Yeah. So I just go to this physical therapy place to learn how to walk properly and hold a pencil because I couldn't hold a pencil properly or really do anything right. Was that was that kind of something that was I know that you know for myself I have like this massive like bump on one of my fingers because I was used to like write way too hard and I'd like break the pencil. My handwriting is is absolutely awful. Which I find it's it's really funny. It's I think I know that there is some crossover between my autism and over neurodiversity is like dyspraxia. But I do also know that because of our like differing sensory systems we can sometimes be quite like insensitive to like our feeling of balance or like our awareness of our body without without looking at it. It's something that something that I struggled with quite a while actually and it's it's really funny when I do interviews and stuff where people are wanting to talk about like my sporting experience and stuff or if someone says you know you have really good balance to do all these kicks and you know spins and acrobatic things. And the only reason why I'm good at doing those things is because I endlessly practice them at home on my own constantly like before all of my practices and you know outside of like Taekwondo training sessions I did. So it's it's it's interesting isn't it do you have a diagnosis of dyspraxia or is it is it more kind of that autism difficulty with the you know body positioning and stuff. I do have a dyspraxia diagnosis actually and I love it. Well not really. I mean the reason why I love it is because I work with a dyspraxia foundation and that's been very eye opening for me. So I just love turning the negative into a positive. So yeah, I don't know. I'm just I'm trying my best. But I find it it's it's it's really interesting because my my partner is dyspraxic. And we currently we currently I'm thinking that she's a little a little bit autistic or well obviously not a little bit autistic autistic or not but I'm still I don't really know a lot about dyspraxia. I know that it's around motor coordination and balance and stuff like that. But I don't know is is it something that that sort of influences like your behaviors? Is it something like a psychological? Is there a psychological aspect to it? I don't think so. It's more connected to motor skills and your balance. I know that it I'm trying to remember what it was for me. Oh, well, it's I definitely have balance issues. And that is why everyone is always lured when I'm walking in heels. Everyone asks me how do you walk in heels so well when you have dyspraxia? And my answer is that I always practice. There you go. And I just think that another thing is that it's hard for me to tell my left and right apart. So I think that's connected to it. But yeah, the heels thing is all for show because I feel like even I have trouble walking in them, I'm very wobbly. I mean, by pageant standards, I could use a lot of work. But that's me. And I feel like I'm very unique. Yeah. It's really interesting. I actually it's funny that you mentioned the dyspraxia foundation because I'm I'm currently chatting to the people over there. I'm yet to send them an email. Because I kind of want to understand a bit more about that aspect of neurodiversity, because, as you said, it's I'm not too aware or clued upon like the like the psychological side of those things. I don't know whether it's just something, you know, perhaps when when people are looking at helping kids or adults with like dyspraxia, that maybe they're just autistic as well because of the crossover, or whatever it's something to do with just being dyspraxic. If that makes sense. Well, since autism and dyspraxia are both, they definitely crossover. So I think that they could very well be autistic, the person that you're talking about. I will let them know that I'm excited to dive into more of that that kind of side of things. Yeah, the dyspraxia foundation has been lovely. I enjoyed working with them. What kind of work have you done with them? A lot of volunteering. And I've messaged them a lot back and forth. We talk a lot about ambassador programs. I've been their ambassador before. And they're just amazing. I can't wait to work more with them in the future. It's awesome. Well, I really appreciate you, you know, being so, you know, open and vulnerable about that stuff. And I know it's, you know, it's one of your kind of core values and personality traits. But I still want to say that, you know, thank you for that. I guess we're really where I want to take things is talking more about like the things that you've done, either in your late adolescence or adulthood. I know that you've been performed in performing arts throughout your career. And you've been extremely successful in like dance, theatre, and cheerleading. I'm just wondering, like, could you tell us more about those experiences? And what motivated you to get into those like highly competitive spaces? Well, I'll start with cheerleading because that's more that's a lot earlier. Is cheerleading I've done ever since I was a kid. And that was another thing that I've wanted to do. Because I've wanted to make friends. And social groups are great for that, aren't they? Especially outside of schools. Yeah, and it was cool. I started with my local thing first. It was right up the road from my house. And it was fun. And I moved on to the competitive side. I wasn't really into that at first. But I don't know, it was okay. I just didn't like the noise and all the crowd can imagine. I can imagine a cheerleading. There is a cheer element to it. That's something that's actually funny life. Another thing that's not that doesn't seem to be as like prominent in the UK, as it is in the US, like the cheerleading side of things, although I do have a cousin that used to do it. And they used to be, I think, I think they said they were like a flyer or something. Yeah. Is that is that correct terminology? Yeah. They got thrown up and stuff. You did that. Yeah. Oh my god. Because that's I sort of stuck to doing it at school because I moved on. I did that. I'm trying to think of the timeline here. Because because I kept doing cheerleading till fifth grade. And then I just I was the flyer because I was the youngest one on the team. Everyone else was either in middle school or high school. So I was the flyer. And then in middle school, I was the old one of the oldest ones on the team. So I had to pick the youngest ones up. And I was going to do it in high school. But I found a love for theater instead. So that's fun. That's that's interesting that you that you had that flyer role because I imagine that there's also like a lot of balance involved in that kind of thing. Yeah, it was very, very challenging. But I I kind of got distracted because I loved being up in the air. But it was also like that motion. Yeah, that motion me. I love stuff like that. Like roller coasters, like playground equipment that you can like spin around on. There was this recent event that I went to called the EDA, which is all about like emotional dysregulation and autism. And this this person there is does like these acrobatic things. And they had this like hoop structure, like this hanging hoop. And they did like this amazing performance dance kind of aerial thing on it. And at the end, I went up to her. Yeah, I went up to it. I was like, hey, can I have a go on this? And she started spinning me and she was like, Oh, I'm sorry, I'm spinning you. I'll stop. Like, no, no, please, please go ahead. This is like much needed relaxation time after I've spoken. There's just no matching like the euphoria that I feel spinning. It's something that I wish I could do a lot more in adulthood. But I'm quite tall and heavy. And if I spin around, and I miss my footing or something, then I will go tumbling to the floor. I love roller coasters. So that is amazing. I love that I love the feeling of it. Yeah, yeah, do you go on the scary ones? Yeah, I love the scary ones. There's this one in this place called Blackpool in the UK, which has like the I think it's like the biggest vertical drop in the UK. It goes like all the way upwards, you know, as roller coasters do really slowly. And then it kind of goes over the edge, but then it drops down and inwards. So it goes on like that. So it's more than like just a straight drop down. It's like a turn inwards. That was that that was a bit freaky. We also have this place called Alton Towers in the UK, which has this roller coaster called oblivion. And the whole thing is basically like a really you have to queue up flight ages, ages absolutely ages. And then you get probably about 30 seconds of roller coaster experience. And it they take you up on this really, really long journey all the way to the top. And then they like carve this massive hole in the ground. And it just goes straight down into this like dark hole from all the way up. And then sort of frosty for a very short roller coaster experience. But that was another one that was quite scary that I've been on. But I still love that kind of thing. It's awesome. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Well, you mentioned about your like theatre at the end of sort of speaking on your cheerleading. Do you want to elaborate a bit more about that? Yes, I'm currently in a drama troupe called Epic Players in New York. And it is a troupe for neurodiverse actors. So I'm very, very happy. Yes. What was that called again? I'll look him up. Epic Players. You can follow us at Epic Players on Instagram. There you go. Epic Players NYC, a neuro inclusive theatre company. That's us. And I was recently cast in our recent play called Tark 2. And I'm also going to be in our production of Into the Woods. Wow. And what is that like? Like did you do theatre before being involved with Epic Players? Or is it something that you found after doing it for a while? I did. I did a lot of theatre growing up. I did a lot of it in middle school too. That's when I discovered that I really liked doing it. But then I was like, I think I'll go back to cheerleading. Because I don't know. My teacher for drama in middle school, I really liked her. But I didn't, I feel like I wasn't really getting anything out of it. So I just chose cheerleading. I don't know what happened. I feel like that's kind of a blur to me. But yeah, I know that specifically like in the workplace, or you know, even for myself and sort of trying to build myself up as a public speaker, I think a lot of people automatically see like the autism label and try to give us like, really small roles that you know, have a lot of responsibility. But it really like. And I feel like that's what happened with me. And I really, there was a lot of favoritism. And that didn't change when I went to public school either. People just see the autism label and they just shove you in the back. It doesn't matter. There's always going to be favoritism with anybody in your drama troupe, no matter what school you go to. But once you get out of there, that doesn't really matter at all. And I've discovered that when I went out into the real world in Epic Players, and I got cast and stuff, but it does whether minor or major, I love it. I'm in a minor role right now. And I also feel like being shoved to the side has helped prepare me for rejection and all that. Because I see the people who have always got the lead role and were the favorites, they can't handle that rejection. And that's not good if you want to get on Broadway. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of funny you're saying that because like, it's um, I mean, obviously, there is a big component to any sort of career or hobby or venture and that is like the social aspect of it. Like, you know, people people don't choose you for us, you know, during sports education, they don't choose you as part of the team because you're good at playing the game, they choose you because they like you or their friends with you, or they, you know, you have like a high social ranking in the school or something. Which I've been really hard on that that's kind of been something that I think happens in like the way it plays as well, sort of in the real world. You know, if you don't have those natural, you know, abilities to kind of get on with new groups and new people and, you know, or if you just generally don't want to socialize as much, then it kind of stops you from getting as far as you should be able to do with like your ability. I think it's it's a tough aspect of, you know, life and it's something that I think holds a lot of people back from realizing the true potential. Not saying that there's the issue with the individual, it's an issue with the system, the neurotypical society that we're living. But I think that can that can really be tough. Yeah, I agree. And I don't think people should be forced to socialize or be someone they're not just to get ahead in life either. Sure, sure. Well, um, I know I know you mentioned about sort of your performance and stuff. But you know, what kind of if if you were to give like a highlight reel of like performances that you've done that that people may know about? What would you say? What would you point people to? Well, I would definitely include the performances I've done with Epic. I know recently that while I was with them, I did my first stand up comedy show, which was amazing. I love to do I love to do stand up comedy. I love to make people laugh. And that that's definitely a highlight for me. And as as for earlier performances, I I sang at Madison Square Garden twice, I sung the national anthem there. And that was really important to me. But other than that, you can find me singing the national anthem at various sports arenas, because I'm well known for that too. And you have to I'm not the most sort of well versed in like the the worlds of like theatre and stuff. But I do know about, you know, New York City and Broadway and stuff. Is it is those places that you did your performances with Epic? Or is that like something something separate? Well, Madison Square Garden, that was way before Epic. That that was when that was when I was still living on Long Island, actually, before I moved to Brooklyn, I was living on Long Island. And I was trying to get my foot in the door. And I guess somebody heard me sing and they wanted me to sing at their game or something. I was really stoked about that. Sounds really cool. I've heard of Madison Square Gardens as well. And I'm not a person that knows a lot about like geography and locations and stuff. But that sounds really amazing. And what about like the singing aspect of things? Because, you know, just from our pre chat, it seems that you have like a multitude of different talents when it comes to like performing and being on stage where it's like your standoff or your cheerleading or the theatre stuff or the standoff like I've already said that. But it's amazing. Like, what about like the singing aspect of things? How did you get into that? Well, singing, I've always loved ever since I was little. I know that I've always had trouble with loud noises. Whenever I don't know, I have to think about all the loud noises I hated. I hated anything that was loud, especially when we had fire drills in school. Oh, I hate that. Terrible. Spotlights, like the lighting for performances and stuff. So one of the things I did for therapy was listen to opera tapes. And I'd listen to them for three hours straight because I loved the opera. And I think that's when I realized I want to become a singer. I told my mom, mommy, I want to sing. And but no one ever heard. Well, no one actually ever heard me sing because I was really, really shy. So no one really heard me sing until I was in high school until because you know, for pageants, you have to have a talent. So yeah, I do know that. So that was the first time my mom actually heard me sing. And I'm still doing it now. I just got accepted into Juilliard for the vocal arts and vocal training. And I'm learning how to become an opera singer. That is absolutely amazing. I actually, my I have, well, of course, I have a grandmother, but I was quite close to my, to my grandmother called Nana. She's, she's at the end of the moment. She's, you know, she got she got a diagnosis of Alzheimer's recently. So it's, you know, obviously our relationships, you know, changed I love her and stuff. And, and, you know, I go see her and, you know, I still have that kind of good connection with her. But I remember whenever she would like, take me to school when I struggled a lot with getting the bus to school because there were particular people on there harassing me or bullying me. And it was very noisy and very, you know, sort of difficult for me to handle in the morning. So she should sometimes she'd take me to school in the car. And we'd listen to like an opera singer. I can't remember what his name is, but I think he's a very famous opera singer. Which one? I think I know who it is. Go for it. Go with some names. I, I can't remember the actual name. So that's not, I'm not very good with names, but hit me. Okay, wait, I'm sorry. I zoned out. Is it a man or a woman? A man, a man. Okay, Andrea Buccelli. The most famous one ever. My grandma loves Andrea Buccelli. Yeah. I think in my head, I'm, I'm the, my thoughts are kind of being muddied, muddied by, I don't know if you have them in the UK, but we have like go compare ads. And there's this guy with this really zigzaggy mustache who always does like adverts. And he does like, do you have that as well? Wait, no, I'm just thinking of the mustache. Yeah. Matt Berry. Maybe, maybe. But he's just sort of commercials in the UK. And they're, I found them really funny. But I think most people find them quite annoying. But um, No, he's never annoying. He's my favorite. But operas, operas, like, it's, it's something that I've always wanted to go, to go see. I haven't, I haven't been to an opera house before or anything like that. But I think there's a really interesting point there, because I know that a lot of autistic people sort of due to our pattern recognition skills, due to our sensory differences, we tend to have some skills, like when it comes to like, pitch, like, understood like having like perfect pitch or noticing when the pitch isn't very good. That's what all my teachers said that I had perfect pitch. Wow. I'll have to check. Do you have any of your like opera performances online? I don't think so. I have a lot of videos of me singing the national anthem, though, and it's all in the opera style. It's all on YouTube. I really need more singing videos of me. I have to tell my mom to record my latest performances. Yeah, yeah, I'd really be cool to listen. I do have a lot of performances coming up. I will be singing two songs in Canada, not opera songs. They're more pop and country songs, which is what they requested of me because everyone in Canada likes country for some reason. Really? Yeah, I don't know why, but it's a challenge. I always like a challenge. And then I will be singing in an epic players showcase, and I'll be singing a musical theater song. So I got to get those recorded. Definitely. Definitely. That's awesome. Yeah, I knew that you did your singing, but opera singing is so cool. Like, you know, you have like, movie representation, opera singing when they get like, they're really high pitch. No, and they're like, shut to the glass and stuff like that. Oh, and I have a showcase for school coming up soon. So that will be opera. Cool. Is that for the school that you were mentioned about like the vocal lessons and stuff? Yes, we have a showcase at the end of April. So I will definitely be singing opera there. That's cool. Awesome. Well, um, I guess like, you know, something that I think really cool to talk about is your achievement of becoming Miss Florida in your your pageant work. I guess what I want to know is, because it's not it's not something that's again, in the UK very much. I think it's more of a US kind of thing. But could you tell us about like how you got into pageanting and how you got into like the the modeling around it and stuff? Well, I'll pick up from where I left off. I I sort of I know I said I stopped when I was in elementary school. And then I continued when I was 13. I had really bad depression when I was 13, because of middle school. Yeah, one of my one of my friends in pageants, she said that I should go back on that stage, you need to continue. And I did I didn't want anything to bring me down. And I just love being on stage. And I just kept doing it. And now I'm 26. And I'm Miss Florida. But Miss Florida was really hard to get. Because I can imagine I competed at least six times and didn't win anything. But for me, it wasn't about the competition or winning anything. I just love the system. I love what it stands for. I love the people and coming back to see everybody there. So I really didn't care if I didn't win again. But I won and it worked out. And I'm so happy about it. I'm happy to just bring so much happiness and positivity. Yeah, well, um, a lot of my my views, I mean, my views and listeners tend to tune in from like all corners of the world. What are what are pageants, pageants like, right? Because I've never watched one I've never experienced one that ever, you know, I don't have much knowledge of it, apart from perhaps like the old American movie that that had a pageant in or something. Well, I think that a lot of those are very stereotypical. But yeah, as a kid, I always loved it. I loved it when Disney Channel had the pageant episodes. I don't know. I was probably just weird like that. What what Disney Channel things to do watch? Oh, like, there was that one episode of the sweet life of Zach and Cody where he entered the pageant to get bikes, because they were $2,000 and the prize was $2,000. I think I remember that. And that was one of my favorite episodes. And I did pageants at the time. And it was really not offensive at all. I thought now that I see it as an adult, I think it's very accurate. So yeah, but I think that there are so many good women who enter pageants. Miss Florida, you can enter the pageant when you're married. And I think that's very important to me because a lot of pageants, there's a cut off date, and you can't be married when you enter it. And I don't like that at all. Why? I don't know. I just I don't just seems like a really weird, really weird rule. Is it like you're like a bachelorette or something? Is that is that kind of the the thoughts behind it? Or is it? I think that's how it used to be. But I think that if you're going to be inclusive, we should include all women. And that's what Miss Florida is definitely about. And there's so many smart, educated women that are there. I met doctors, I met lawyers, women who started their own businesses. And I just really I love everyone I meet there. It's really cool. So if you could like take us through like a little bit of what like, like what aspects are there to a pageant? Like, I know that I know that there's there's like some aspects of, you know, showing off like talents or skills. But is there is the much other than that you have to like, do a speech or do like a, I don't know, fill me in on the details. I'm trying to go in order. So no, sure, go. Go for it. Well, I really love the interview portion of it. And a lot of people think it's nerve wracking, because interviews always nerve wracking the spotlights on you in front of all the judges. But I love it because it's like I'm talking to everybody that, well, they're not my best friends. But that's what I always say, talk to the judges like you're talking to your best friends. And that's your chance to talk about yourself and sell yourself. And I like the interview portion because it really helped me get some of the jobs I had in the past because you have to nail the interview. And that's how they decide who wins, because the first impressions are everything. And I think it's, it's a lot less nerve wracking than the 32nd speech that you have to give on the stage. 30 seconds. Yeah. I struggle with like 60 second Instagram reels. But the whole audience. That's what I say, like how is the interview nerve wracking when you have to give a 30 second speech on the stage and the whole audience is watching? I just don't get it. Well, you just got to do your best. Yeah. But I love it when I have my talent, though. That's the best thing because I get to sing. That's awesome. So you have like the, you have the speech, you have the, the talent aspect of it. Is there anything else that that is like an integral to like pageants? Have well having integrity is definitely integral to it. Being honest, being honest, being a good person and knowing your worth is being an all around amazing person. And I just wish they wouldn't. I'm trying to think there's so many things that go into it. Like for example, I know that I said family is really important to me. So that's one of my values. And it's also a good pageant value. Even though I'm not married yet, I really, really think that it should be. I don't know, because for Miss Florida, there's miss miss and misses for the married women. So that's, that's, that's, I think that's where they lose me a little bit. Like, it just seems like well, I'm just gonna say that my family is important to me too, because my mom helps me a lot like with the clothes and stuff. Because I wouldn't know a Giovanni dress from a Chanel dress or what I'm just fashion blind. And for some reason, she knows all of the labels and the brands, and she packs and she just helps me with everything. And I don't know. So I appreciate her a lot. That's awesome. Do you like a power duo? I think so. Yeah, we're a power duo. That's cool. It's cool. I didn't want to ask them things. I know that, you know, because you do all like these kind of performance based things. Do you find it easier to to do your performances and to do like interviews and stuff as opposed to like, situations sort of outside like real life where there's no like topic where you meet people and you talk to people? Like, do you find that it's easier for you to do it when you're in those kind of performance interview rolls? Or do you do you find that the two are both both quite? Well, I think they're both easy. I just think it's always easy and the best thing to do when when you're yourself, I'm trying to like think. But the best thing I know for me, for me, it's like, I, I'm really good in situations where I know what I'm supposed to be doing or talking about. Whereas, like in real life situations when when people come up to talk to me, I just have no idea where to take the conversation. Like, I don't know. There's like no rules. Like if you meet someone new, like you don't know what they like and what they don't like. And you have to go for all this crazy small talk to get to a point where you can talk about something. Whereas when you when I have situations like when I'm doing my podcasting or when I'm doing my public speaking or being interviewed, it's like, I feel more comfortable doing those things. Which I think is very weird for some people to hear than like chatting to people outside of that. Yeah, I always feel like, well, the best thing you do is be yourself. And I always think that I can get my thoughts out better when I write it down. I know I was I was talking to someone and there's the little voice app thing on Instagram. And then I listened, I always like to listen back to it. And I just think I sound really weird. But then I wrote it down. And is basically the same thing when I said and I just thought that looks so much better. I don't sound like an idiot. And that's probably why I'm an aspiring writer. Yeah, I've heard from a lot of people that, you know, they're because I guess with writing, it's it's pretty much void of all indirect aspects, like it's literally just your direct communication through writing, you can't like write something in a certain font to express a certain way that you're saying something, you have to like describe things and explain things rather than like express them. And I used to find that that used to be the reason why I gravitated towards like creative writing and, you know, I would say the same as well, especially about like complex things or emotional things. I find it a lot easier to get like my thoughts out and have them explained better when I write them. It's taken me a while to get to a point where I feel confident, expressing and explaining with my voice. It's something that I've had to like grow, but I've always had that like writing side of me. Definitely. And I just feel like I'm very direct to and that comes out in my writing where I can just write down how I feel. And then that's done. And a lot of writers feel that way too. But then you get authors like Victor Hugo from Les Mis and he can go pages and pages and pages describing a rock. And I've noticed that with a lot of autistic people too. And that's totally valid. Yeah, I love it. It's like prevent parentheses, like using using like brackets or put it like adding things on at the end to like explain ways that people might interpret misinterpret what you're saying. We tend to do that a lot. It's funny. It's like, you never just get people sending you a message. It's always like a message. And then something else. And then some a little bit more about what you mean by the message. Definitely. I need to do that next time. Seriously. People will be saved. Yeah. Yes. Well, um, I know that that going outside your like pageant work, um, what was being your experiences like with the modeling aspect of it? Like, did have you like teamed up with photographers? Have you done like the photo shoots and stuff? What were those like for you? Well, modeling has been a very, very good experience for me. I have been signed to multiple modeling agencies. And yeah, and I recently teamed up with somebody very famous. And he's going to design dresses for me. I can't say who it is right now. I'm supposed to keep it under wraps. But it's, but it's all for the pageant. And I'm very excited to be collaborating with him. Because I am, I'm asking both on like an interviewer standpoint, but also personally, because modeling is something that I've been wanting to try and get into. And it's, it's quite hard industry to break into if you're not like, if you don't have like connections and stuff like that. I've done, I've done a couple of like collaboration photo shoots with some like local photographers and stuff, which have been really great. But it's, it's, it's hard. It's something, it's not something that I want to do like a, as a professional, but it is something that I enjoy doing. I enjoy it too. And I know currently I model with gamut management, they've been amazing. And the work they're doing for the neurodivergent community and modeling is just wonderful. I wonder if there's any like companies like that in the UK? Because I'd be, I'd be really interested in like getting involved with them. I've been trying to like advertise that I'm, you know, looking to, to do it as part of like a management, a modeling management thing. But as I said, it's quite, it's quite hard to break into those things. Well, there is one that I know of. It's called ZBD talent. You should try applying with them. ZBD talent. Oh, yeah. I'm just bringing up the page. ZBD talent includes a bench. Oh, they have places everywhere. Yep. Oh, wow. Championing disabled, visibly different non binary and trans models in the UK. That's awesome. Yeah, definitely, definitely get in touch with them. Maybe you can put in a good word for me. Yeah. Well, that's, that's really cool. Well, I guess they, the last sort of, you know, question that I want to want to ask before we wrap things up is, you know, with all the amazing things that you have been and are currently doing, what impacts do you personally want to have on society and perhaps on other autistic people or children? Well, I always say that I want to have a really positive impact. But the main impact I want to have on my community and others is that I want to show people that they can do it and that I've done a lot of great things. And whenever I wear my crown or go out and give a speech or do an event, I want to show autistic little girls and boys, or even young adults that they can do anything that they set their mind to, their disability does not have to hold them back from anything. Yeah. And I'd say as well, you do, you know, I mean, we do have a really tough issue. I'm pretty much all fronts of life, like in terms of like, workplace inclusion, I know the employment statistics are really bad for autistic people, mental health, isolation and bullying. I think that there's there's so many aspects to being autistic in this world that can really be tough, and it can really sort of impact our wellbeing or career success or, you know, relationship, friendship, success. I mean, just even speaking about, like the high school, middle school experience, it can be really, really traumatizing and difficult to move past for a lot of people. And trying to I feel like with yourself trying to be people's confidence, show them that, you know, the differences are an asset or something that makes them unique and different. I think that's a really beautiful thing. Yes, absolutely. Awesome. As, you know, like, I know that you mentioned about being sort of a positive role model in terms of supporting people and empowering them to sort of succeed in life and do things. And but in terms of like, specific things, like if you were to envision a change in society that you could make not necessarily to autistic people, but to the then the neurotypical society that we we live in, what would those changes look like? I think that there would be many changes. And for one, that would be a lot more tolerance towards us. Because everyone says that they're tolerant, but really, it's, they're not, it's all very performative. Yeah. If neurotypical people want to be good allies, they would start making better changes. Like for example, there need to be more ramps for people in wheelchairs. And I don't really see that anywhere. For example, my grandma's in a wheelchair, but she can't really go many places because there are no ramps. Why have people not changed that? They need to. It seems like a very, it seems like a very small adaptation that people could make as well. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it only takes two seconds to care. I think that's something that, you know, could be reflected in a lot of different areas of life. Like, you know, we talk about like workplace adjustments and adjustments in school. It's often in like, there's really small things that people, the neurotypicals and like policymakers and headteachers don't think about that make the most impact. And, and, you know, even when it comes to support within the workplace, there's always this very heavily like heavy emphasis on, right? What does the government tell us to do? And what does these people tell me to do? And what program and pathway do we need to put autistic people on in order for them to feel included and work their best in like the workplace? And I always say that, you know, in those circumstances, they put so much funding into, you know, areas that, you know, sound good on paper and sound like it'd be something that would be useful to everybody. But they often miss like the really small adjustments, the really impactful positive adjustments that would help like the individual person. It's like they, they're wanting so hard to like follow this guide, like these guidelines and rules, but they forget to like ask the individual what would be helpful for them, what would allow them to do better in a workplace and feel more included. And it always just boggles me just how single-minded some, some organizations and leaders and people can be when thinking about these adjustments, like it's, it's not, it's not rocket science, you know, you just need to listen to the individual and ask them what would be helpful. And usually those adjustments that people make, they're not big things. Yeah, it's really not a big thing or it's not a big deal that people could, I'm trying to think. No, it's okay. I don't know. We've been chatting for a while, so I understand. I mean, people need to care a lot more. Yeah. Definitely. Well, it's been really, really great to talk to you, Rachel. It's, you know, I'm in awe of your, your achievements and the things that you've done. And I think that you're a brilliant, you know, positive influence on, on the world and especially even, you know, not thinking specifically just about the autistic community are actually out there in the mainstream doing things to raise awareness and acceptance for autistic people. And I think that's, that's a really, really wonderful thing that you're doing. And I think, you know, the influence that you have, you, you will have and are having on people is, you know, amazing. Well, thank you so much. I have this segment of the podcast called Song of the Day, where I take a, ask my guests to choose a song that either means something to them or is related to like the topic of the podcast. Is there any song that you used to listen a lot when you were going for a hard time or any song that you were listening to when you were succeeding in life and doing things? Like what would be that go-to song? How about Legacy by Motionless and White? Legacy by Motionless and White. Let's have a look at that. Oh, Motionless and White. Got it. Yeah. Wow, the album cover looks quite gothic-y. What kind of music are you into? I like metal music. Oh, you do? Ah, so cool, me too. I am, I'm really into a genre of music called Dark Trap. Oh, cool. Which is like, it's kind of like a, like Trap is like a subgenre of rap music. And then Dark Trap's like the gothic-y side of stuff. I interviewed someone who I'm now quite good friends with called No Tricks, who's a woman who has a neurodiversity called Dissociative Identity Disorder. She has like multiple identities and she does these like Dark Trap songs. And it's so cool because I'm so into it. And when I came across her page and stuff, we just instantly got on and, you know, she's like, let's me know when there's a new song coming out and stuff. And then, you know, it's really, really cool. I guess what I want to know is like, what is your relationship to this song? Why do you like it? Well, the lyrics, it's me. Oh, that is your song? No, it's not. It's not my song. I just I identify, I identify with the lyrics. It's very powerful. It's really cool. I've never, I've never heard of this band. I'm going to, I'm going to probably have a look at them. You'll have to send me some some songs that I can I can check out. I'm just having a little listen of, listen of them in the background. Sounds really cool. Well, thank you very much for that. I guess the last thing I want to say before sort of rounding things up is, have you enjoyed your experience on the 40 or two podcast? Yeah. You have. Good. I'm glad. Where can people find you, Rachel? Like, which, which social links or websites? They can find me on Instagram at Rachel Barcelona Exo. Awesome. Awesome. And I'd highly encourage you all to check out Google Rachel Barcelona and check out some of the work that she's done. It's absolutely amazing. The amount of things that you've done so far in your life. Very, very inspiring. And yes, I hope that you have. I hope you all have enjoyed listening to this. If you want to check out the 40 or two podcast, you can find it on pretty much all podcasting streaming services as well as YouTube, where I have also shorter, more concise, topic based clips of the podcast in a more sort of short format, if that's more your style. And you can check out my Instagram account. Thomas Henley UK, where I produce and put out weekly, not even weekly, daily blogs, reels, all that kind of stuff on different topics. I do my weekly live streams over on YouTube or on Instagram. So if you're wanting to ask me questions about the podcast, get involved, let me know that you listen to it. That is probably the best place to go. Really, really love to have you have you on one of those things. And if you want to get in contact about public speaking, about getting me on as an interviewer or you want to be on the podcast yourself, you can email me at hi at Thomas Henley.co.uk or head over to my website, Thomas Henley.co.uk to check out all the stuff that I offer and the stuff that I do. I'm still in the process of setting up my consultancy. I realized that I mentioned that it would be live in April. There's been a lot of things that have happened between them, lots of different opportunities that I've got and it's kind of put a bit of a spanner in the works. But it's still going to be happening. So if you're wanting to sign up to do some consultancy sessions with me, one-to-one personal consultancy for autistic adults and partners of autistic people, you can head over to that link, Thomas Henley.co.uk. Anyway, I would really appreciate if you'd like this. Give it a like if you're on YouTube. Give it a rate if you're on any of the podcasting streaming services. So, yeah, thank you very much for listening. And I hope to see you next week in another episode of the Forty Otty podcast. See you later, guys. Bye.