 Have you ever sat down with someone, had a really uncomfortable conversation, but when you left that conversation, you went home and you thought, that was a really good point. And it was something I didn't want to hear. I think in life, there are often these brutal life truths that people don't like to hear, but if you understand them and listen to them earlier, rather than later, they will make your life better. What's up guys? Alex Hine, author of Master of the Day. So before we jump in, I put together a free journaling worksheet that's a companion to this video, which is a journaling worksheet on how to get your life together and design your dream life going forward. So it's free, first link right below this video. You'll also get maybe about two emails a week on how to use journaling to improve your life going forward. Alright, brutal life truth number one, if you do not consciously design your life, someone else will and your dreams probably won't happen. You know, I'm at this weird age now where I'm 35 and I'm at this stage where I see a lot of people who had many ambitions about their life and all these things they wanted to do and none of them have happened. They wanted to have the kids or be married or they wanted to have build this company or be doing their dream job and making six figures or taking two international trips every single year and start a YouTube channel and write their book and all these things they wanted to do. And as you see people age and get older, there's a certain age that's usually around 40, 45 where the regrets start kicking in where people realize that all these things I wanted to do, it is exactly as that quote goes, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. All this time you were talking about the things you wanted to do and the dreams you wanted to build, but day to day you weren't taking any action aligned with what you wanted. It's just another day in a year a decade that clocks by and one thing I've seen is that for so many people, if you say one day you want to have kids or find that dream person, but day to day you're dating schmucks that aren't even aligned with your party people or not serious people or too young people that aren't even aligned with potential good matches down the line. You don't magically get to 35 and suddenly you have good judgment and dating and right now you're 28 or 22 and you want to be making six figures by 30 let's say and day to day you're not thinking how can I become the best in my field, what jobs are making those incomes, how can I get better every day, how can I get promotions, you're not going to magically wake up in 28 and have those things very likely unless you're lucky enough to be in that field already. And if you say you know I'm going to travel the world or be financially free and not have to slave and work so hard, but day to day you don't even save any money or day to day you're not even putting aside a hundred bucks a month for that international trip every year, then very unlikely that that thing is going to happen that trip you want every year or those three trips you want every year to see 30 countries by 30. So very often that dream life doesn't happen because there's a mismatch between our daily action and those dreams. Brutal truth number two, the reason you aren't living the life you want is because of fear and your relationship to it. I knew this friend speaking of life regrets and he was about 45 when I talked to him last and he was saying that by his age you can imagine the where this is going. He said, you know, there were all these jobs that I wanted to do that were dream jobs. I wanted to start my own company. I wanted to go work and live in New York City for at least a few years of my life. I wanted to take time abroad in Paris. I thought I'd be in my dream relationship by now. I thought maybe even would have kids and he was very regretful that none of it had happened. And when I asked him what he thought it was and he said, you know what, honestly, it was because I was too afraid to take action on any of those things because I was afraid that if I failed or if it didn't work out, then my dreams would be shattered. And I find more than anything, this is the most common reason that our life doesn't pan out the way we thought it would because we end up listening to fear or the voice of reason instead of doing what we actually want to do. We listen to, oh, why would they hire me? I don't have those skills. Or I'm not going to talk to her. She's just going to reject me and she's out of my league or how there's no way you can earn a six-figure income where I'm from or in my field or as an entrepreneur or whatever it is. We have all these things we want to do. And really the only thing that is stopping us is that we're not doing anything. But the big reason behind that is fear. For a lot of people, the fear of what if it doesn't work out? A lot of people to the fear, which is the thought of their mother or father. I told you, if you didn't become a doctor, you'd never amount to anything. You know, you're going to be a starving artist. I mean, Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, I think he's the author with the most books ever sold while he's alive. I think that's still true. I don't think it's J.K. Rowling, maybe Paulo Coelho. And he said his parents committed him to a mental institution multiple times because at that time in Brazil, they wanted him to do a respectable job that would have a good income like an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer. You know, you hear this from lots of immigrants. They committed him to a mental institution because it was so inconceivable that maybe he could succeed as a creative or an artist that it was better to commit their son they loved to a mental prison. So if you listen to fear more than doing what you actually want to do, you're creating a very small world for yourself and it is very hard to get out of that box and live a big life. The third brutal truth that I think will help you is that the game is always rigged. Always. The game is rigged. The game of success. The game of who gets what jobs. The game of what actors get what movies. The game of what writers get successful. What painters get successful. What person gets to date. That amazing girl. That amazing guy. Guys, the game is always rigged. Some people are born extremely beautiful. They get untold advantages that no one really knows. Some people are not so good looking and that's a handicap that will affect people in some way throughout their life. That's unfair. You know, for some people it is the connections, right? For some people I live in Los Angeles so I'm exposed to the movie industry a little bit more than normal and I hear all the time when I ask actors out of my patients, I ask them what do you think made the difference of those who made it versus those who didn't. I've never heard one say that, wow, that friend of mine was really, really good at what they did. They say often there's familial connections, there was the luck of the draw, they were at the right audition at the right time, they had an introduction from someone. Connections are an unfair advantage. Or maybe how about someone's parents had money. So they get safe neighborhood, not exposed to crime. They have no poverty or financial insecurity or food insecurity. They get into a good school, they go to a private high school, they get the best tutors, they get the best medical care, they get cool trips, they get their apartment paid for at college. They graduate college maybe even debt free. That's unfair and that's how it is too. That's just a piece of the game. Or how about someone born in the right place versus someone born in the wrong place? Someone might be born, you know, we say the right side of the tracks, the wrong side of the tracks. You don't get to control that. You don't get to control what country you're born into, when in history you're born into. If you're born into a plague or into the time of perfect health peace, there's no pandemic going around. What if you're born into a war zone versus a peace time zone, the most beautiful city in America? You don't choose that. All of these things are pros or cons. You're born halfway up the mountain or all the way at the bottom. But what you decide to do with it is up to you and you can find evidence for any story that you want. People who are born with everything that amounted to nothing and people born with nothing that became incredible human beings on every level. And that is where your personal actions lie and what you decide to do every day in terms of your habits and your actions. So no matter where you are, don't forget that. You can find evidence for any single belief you want. You'll find people who've done it and who haven't done it on every side of the spectrum. We just started different places. If you accept these three brutal truths, I think your life will be better and I think it'll help you make you a better person as well. Don't forget to check out our journaling download and these two other related videos that I think will help you guys.