 so you sent me a new one and then afterwards we're gonna look at the other one so just like the other one this is gonna at a rougher stage so I'm not sure not sure what's going on there is no audio so I'm not I'm not quite sure maybe I am missing audio there like this it's good that the filename is textbooks otherwise I would not have quite close inspection though I guess it's clear that this is a book but it could also be ginormous tapes or something but it seems to be it's almost given that he has his ginormous nose to me it's almost as if he is sniffing it you know see he looks at it very closely and then he freaks out and I'm not sure why and then he looks over there and then I'm not sure why they look at different corners and then again looks over there it's as if there's something really important either talking to him I'm not quite sure what's going on and then after that it's that long pause and it goes story point is that he you know puts these over over here why again and it looks around and then goes whoa and then they're gone again this is this could be me being completely stupid which in most cases is the case so maybe let me know but this is my first impression I'm not quite sure what is going on what why he's doing what he's doing is he alone is looking at someone else talking someone else if I'm missing audio that would explain everything that I'm not understanding all right so the most unhelpful critique ever just have a bunch of nice and then this guy it's go back so you mentioned the shoulders the girls get away more frantic and change expression at the ends very curious awesome shot I'm still deciding whether or not to kill you princess if I were you I'd avoid doing anything more to antagonize me I'm still deciding whether or not to kill you princess that's already very cool I like camera changes there I'm still deciding whether or not to kill you princess the only thing I would say I'm still deciding whether or not to kill you princess the camera happens right when the music happens to kill you princess but it could be okay but even without the sound I'm looking at him it's it feels a bit too linear it feels like your curve is you know the camera is doing this editing slot it really goes down with a slight easing and that's it and I think you can set a key set a key in this guy almost give this a bit more easy you don't have to any overshoot something a bit more why it's again but unless you want to do you know in sync with the sounds I'm still deciding whether or not to kill you princess it's kind of neat I why not I mean I guess you can keep it there I would just slow this down so it feels a bit more natural less CG this works right now because it's with the sounds your call if you want to be like that kill you princess if I was you I'd avoid doing anything more to antagonize me well okay the basic actions are cool I think what I would do is to kill you princess her actions volume sorry volume nine a little bit it feels like she is waiting for action so if possible can you do this move not the chair I get something where and even right now she's you know the legs are are everything she's kind of straight she's really just waiting so your first pose could be more something where maybe one leg is out there one is a bit more over there and she has kind of a you know there's something going on there it's just running but something where you can tell the moment you get over it that it's not just a person waiting this could be psycho where it's that mother we have no idea but if you start in a pose like this and the moment we turn over the camera to her she can bring those legs back get straighter maybe lean back a bit more and then that immediately tells us okay well someone is in that chair against their will and then you end with that okay well now they want to get away this must be really serious that's cool it feels like your leg is shrinking you know if you have a table chair and you go over that you do have a horrible arc that's the idea right that the length is still the same and tip over and right now it feels like you have this and then it gets massively shorter so this this might be going through the ground it harsh like you're the key on the chair I know this maybe it's just a scale thing and also that it comes a bit straight towards us so can give it off and come to the right and then after that just again for the friendliness actually does that then she kind of stops and goes okay you know like this little moment and I will go bum bum straight into that and I know you're saying maybe that she tried that she wants to do something else but then it wouldn't just be good then I would make it a lot bigger like you know she's really like overall I will take her her body and make it more like that where she's like you want to point with the body I want to go out I want to go this is the exit I need to go and right now especially this if that's a breathing thing where she's kind of exhausted it's just too quiet and it happens only here there's not much going on ahead here you know it needs to be bigger maybe I could arc down and up I would amp it up if you want to make this more frantic that kills the weight you're going forward this guy you can see if you track that's in general you're doing this I know this is the rough but you know you have the pivot points of this guy and then from here to here it's huge tracking a corner that chair then you go from here to here holy moly go straight back so couple more frames through this here and then definitely a couple more frames where if you hold on to this and pulls back this can come back but the energy of this going up is going to continue meaning that you know there's going to be a pose where it can be like this his arm is down here back forward and her legs then shoot out because she is being pulled back home into this now this makes it that much bigger so if you don't want it to be that big which is almost between you want to go maybe from here to half that distance just that massive that's cool that makes more sense struggling struggling and I like the body moves here then the knife comes up I think what you could do is to make this more she doesn't quite know unless she feels it on her hair but this could be something where I don't know if you can do this tape but imagine the jaw goes down and you realize she's going yelling and then as that knife comes up into this you actually bring the chin up to here and the knife a bit higher meaning that you know the flat part of the blade pushed the chin up so that knife stops that whole thing that that's what makes her look holy shit what was that and then she goes holy moly and into that that would be my princess if I was you I'd avoid doing anything more to antagonize me the the guy's cool I think I like all that stuff still deciding whether or not you know there's some technical things like there's a shoulder whoop this kind of pops up here again you can look at this is the line the next line is here like that's a pretty big move it's not really easing in plus it seems massively isolated in this section you know there's some stuff going here but there's nothing going on here and it continues with the rest of the shoulder going up here so you really have to look at body mechanics and I move this means it affects the chest which means this moves a little bit drop the show a little bit and maybe some overall wire rotation in the body but even here see that I can draw that line crosses shirt here see you have two arms moving head is moving that line is not moving so you gotta make sure during all this the root can move a bit again any type of wire rotation in the roots or left and right tilts you know there's lots of stuff to do subtle stuff that makes it more look like more the whole thing is now at this point we're just having this and that's all locked again this might just be the rough stage I'm just pointing out or future revisions but in terms of his acting princess if I was you I devoid doing it's cool I like it and actually I was going to say well his walk is pretty repetitive but at the same time actually I think it's okay because I want to look at her because he's not doing anything crazy or pointing at her anything I'm not I'm not conflicted I look at him because he comes in but then I go back he doesn't really change much which then to me dramatically is I like it I keep looking at her has this thing with the audio here I devoid doing anything more to let's make sure that when you do this it doesn't stop this feels and stop right so he's not moving anymore especially when you have movement in his arm his left shoulder rest but after all this like he does all that move keep going like he can straighten his legs and tower over her to make it more imposing this is big looming figure over her so that once you get to here there's still movement in him right and when he does the little knife thing with the knife on her on a throat he might still get closer to her shoulders my higher again you want to emphasize that it's this big looming thing and she has no escape all right that's kind of what happened thank you all right there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way like and subscribe would be awesome all right thank you