 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages, I've poked the Comic Weekly straight into your living room. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Well, a little miss, honey. How are you today? Oh, I'm Christmas. Yes, that's right. Only 11 more days, and you'll be opening your presents. And I just guess. Well, have you had any conferences with Santa Claus' helpers? Oh, yes. Three PS's? Yes. Well, now, that was some letter. What were the PS's all about? I can't tell. Well, why can't you tell? Because it'll spoil a surprise. Spoil what surprise? Oh, I beg your pardon, and don't tell me a thing. It'll be the funniest anyway, won't you? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And I know you're anxious to see what's happening to Prince Valiant. Oh, yes, because he's on a new mission for his father, King Agua. Very well, then. Let's go past bringing up Father and Beatle Bailey, turn over the page, and here's Little Iodine. Oh, could we please? Why, certainly we can. So, here we go with Little Iodine. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Eaten, hadn't, hoiten, hain, music, please, for Little Iodine. Today, Iodine is to go to the hospital to have her tonsils taken out, and she's scared. So her mother is going to sleep at the hospital with her overnight. The third picture top row that evening, Iodine is tucked into her bed to get a good night's sleep before the operation, which is to take place in the morning. The nurse leaves the room after seeing that everything is all right. And Mrs. Tremblechin says to Iodine, now, see? Mother is going to sleep right in the room with you. Early next morning, Iodine, who has not slept all night, hears her mother snoring. And last picture top row, she says, mom's asleep, here's my chain. And first picture bottom row, she climbs out of bed and into her clothes saying to herself, I'm getting out of here before mom wakes up. I don't care if I get a spanking. Later that morning, a different nurse, an intern, and the doctor come into the room, and seeing only Mrs. Tremblechin in bed, wake her up. The doctor taps her on the shoulder saying, already, Mrs. Tremblechin, just get on the stretcher. What? Suddenly, she finds herself lifted onto the stretcher. She struggles and fights back, but is quickly put on the stretcher and strapped down. And she shrieks. It's a mistake, I tell you. I'm not the patient. It's a mistake. I'm not the patient. Let me go. And the doctor answers, come along now. Two hours later, she's back in her room, a bandage around her throat and minus her tonsils. And her throat is aching. Mr. Tremblechin discovered what has happened and has found Iodine is about to give her a spanking. When he overhears the nurse say, oh, it was a terrible mistake, yes, but just be calm and don't try to talk for at least a week. And Mr. Tremblechin, who thinks his wife talks too much, hearing this says, she'll be speechless for a week. Iodine, you've just been spared a spanking. That was Mrs. Tremblechin. Yes, she stayed in the hospital room to keep Iodine company. And then Iodine. That's one of the craziest mistakes I've ever heard of. Well, now let's go across the page to Prince Valiant. Yes, there was much trouble in the kingdom of Thule, and King Agwar is anxious to find a way to stop it. So he sent Val away on a trip to see if he can find a way to settle the trouble. Now let's see if he does. Very well. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur, Eckett, Breckett, Gray, Mulkin and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Val's father, King Agwar, disturbed by the fighting between the people of his kingdom had tried to bring peace to his fierce Northman by introducing Christianity. However, he was greatly disturbed to learn that in spite of the work of his missionaries, some of his fierce Northman refused to become Christians, had killed some of the missionaries who were bringing the word of God to them, and were causing great trouble in the kingdom. Val volunteered to go through the kingdom to see how matters stood. And today we find him last picture top row with his two companions at the edge of a forest. They meet a druid who is a member of an old pagan religion. The druid is preparing a yule log for the midwinter celebration of the Feast of Thor, when the longest night will pass, and the guards of summer gather strength to contend against the powers of the frost giants. The strange powers of the druids are well-known, but Val and his companions are surprised when the old man stares long from under shaggy brows, and then first picture second row says, Oh, you are Prince Valient, and you follow a foreign religion, but though you are false to the guards of Thule, you are welcome to share my poor hospitality. Last picture, second row, Val and his friends are in the druid's cave being served food and drink by the old priest. The druid's cave is a shrine, and the idols of Odin, Thor, and Loki, rough hewn and wood, stand in an itch behind a stone altar. First picture, bottom row, when they have eaten their fill, the druid turns to Val. It is the custom to present some small gift for hospitality received. All I ask of you is that you believe what your eyes behold, and he leads the prince to the entrance where the rays of the setting sun are blinding after the gloom of the cave. And then turning to Val, he fills a goblet with sacred wine, then says, Here, drink the nectar of the guards as you look into the west. Yes, you see, Odin was the chief druid god. He's the god of wisdom, the god of war, the god of the dead people, and Thor is the ancient druid god of thunder, and Loki was the blacksmith of the gods. He made the swords and the spears. Yes, they did. Well, we'll find out next week. Now let's turn over the page. Yes, Robin Hood, the merry outlaw who was having trouble with Prince John, who was trying to seize the throne from his brother, King Richard, who is held prisoner in a foreign land. Yes, and Robin had a terrible time escaping from the castle, but now he's back and sure with Forrest again, recovering from the spear wound he received when he made his escape. I wonder if he will get well. With the maid and Marian nursing him, he's sure, but we'll find out for sure right now. Let's go with the story of Robin Hood. It's merry, merry England in days long ago. Time now for Robin Hood, some music, hi-ho. The wound Robin received was very bad, and for a week he's been a pretty sick man. The maid, Marian, and prior Tuck have been nursing him carefully. Although Robin wants to get up out of bed, they refuse to let him. Now it is early morning at the outlaw camp in the depths of Sherwood Forest, and the maid, Marian, is cooking breakfast for the outlaws, and especially for Robin. After one side, Ellen Adale is singing a song. I'd sing of good Robin Hood wounded and sick. I'd sing of a king, may he hurry back quick. I'd sing of Prince John, be it only to mock. If he comes here, we'll split him, from noddle to knock. Marian sees prior Tuck come out of Robin's hut. She asks how Robin is behaving this morning. The friar replies, oh, worse than ever, determined he's going to get up. Last picture, top roll, Marian goes into the hut and finds Robin sitting up in his cot. First picture, bottom row, she pushes him back on the cot, telling him he can't get up yet. Robin answers, I've been bullied long enough by you and that turnip-faced friar. Prior Tuck, with a smile, gently pushes Robin back as Marian holds out the barley soup and tells him to drink it. Prior Tuck truffles, worried down his throat. Then from outside the cave comes a sudden scream of a whistling arrow. Then exclaims, the warning signal, someone approaches the camp. He pushes Marian and the friar aside and buckles on his sword, goes outside. Last picture, saying, Marian, stay in the shelter of the cave. Get up out of bed if he's sick like that. Oh, he shouldn't. There must be something terribly dangerous or else I'm sure he wouldn't look so upset. Well, next week we'll find out what it is. Now let's turn over the page. Oh, look, that's Roy Rogers. Yes, Roy Rogers, who with his friend Brimstone Barlow has slipped into the outlaw hideout at the old mission. And Roy and Brimstone are pretending to be outlaws and they're hoping that they can find a way to capture all the outlaws and turn them over to the shack. And while they were there, they were put in one of the shack's and told to wait for the Sphinx, the leader of the outlaws. And when the door was closed, they found a girl hiding there. And she said that her father was trying to destroy the bandits, too, by using his dog. And Roy was surprised to hear this. But Brimstone was even more surprised because when he went outside the shack, he found that one of the outlaws had been petting the dog was dead. I wonder how that happened. Let's read now and see if we can find out what this mystery of the dog and the dead man is. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Ah, yippee-yoh! Now here we go with Roy and Krieger. Ah, yippee-yoh! As Roy busies himself tying up the outlaw who had dashed into the cabin, the door suddenly opens and Brimstone enters. Hey, Roy, not all who'd gotten this shack dropped dead. The girl explains that her father had said he could destroy every bandit by turning the dog loose. Roy, thinking fast, says, well, if your dad built the secret tunnels for the outlaws in this mission, maybe you know where we can hide this one. The girl quickly goes to the fireplace, pulls on a string hidden in the wall, and Roy sees the fireplace swing open from the wall, revealing an underground passage. She tells Roy the passage leads outside the mission and asks Roy to help find out where the outlaws are holding her father. Brimstone carries the outlaw into the passage. I don't like this. Even if your pop's dog is saving us the trouble of capturing the sphinx's gang. Last picture, top row. Two outlaws, Gusty and Bigfoot, who had heard the shot, are heading for the shack where Roy is held. They see the old outlaw who had petted the dog, lying in the ground. Bigfoot exclaims, hey, look, Gusty, something happened to the guard. They hurry to the dead outlaw, first picture, bottom row, and make a quick investigation to see what happened to him. Gusty exclaims, well, that beats me. Go tell the sphinx the guard's dead without a mark on him. I'll see what the strangers know about this. At that moment, the dog trots over beside Bigfoot. He grabs him by the collar and throws him out of the way. He out of my way, you mangy critter, beat it. Gusty walks toward the shack where he had taken Roy and Brimstone earlier. He sees the shack is empty and exclaims, well, the strangers are calling themselves Brimstone and Hogleg Bamoust, and that looks like Al's hat. A little later, in another part of the mission, Gusty rushes into a meeting of the sphinx and his men. Hey, boss, the two strangers flew the coop. One guard's dead and Al is missing. And then he notices that everyone is strangely silent. Hey, what's going on around here? The sphinx pushes back his chair, beckons to Gusty, and leads him over to a table and points to Bigfoot, who had been with Gusty a few minutes before. Bigfoot is dead. This picture, Gusty stares at him in horror and exclaims, hey, sphinx, don't tell me Bigfoot kicked off, too. This whole mission is jinxed. And now the outlaws are mighty worried. I wonder, too, well, now that Roy Rogers has found that secret tunnel, maybe it'll be one way for him to find the girl's father, and then maybe we'll find out the secret of all this. Oh, I hope so. We'll find out next week. Now I'm sure you'd like to see what's happening to Flash Gordon. Oh, I would. I would. The very last page of the first section, and I'll read Flash in just a second. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the last page of the first section, Flash Gordon. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Rega rega dune dune. Saskia matash. Let's have music for heroic Flash. In the jungle of the planet Venus, Queen Vicki's jet car crashed when Flash and she attempted to take off in a storm. Flash has radiated the castle for help and then turned at Vicki's cry to see two huge birds that looked like dragons with wings approaching. Searching the jungles of Venus with cold light beams from their eyes, the two giant flying reptiles spot Flash and Queen Vicki. The night prowlers dive headlong at them. Flash holds his fire until they are within sure range of his semi-gun. Then at the last moment, he presses the trigger. But nothing happens. The gun is empty. Once too late, the remnants of his charge were used up in his encounter with a jungle beetle, and in an instant the clutching talons had gripped their helpless prey. Last picture, top row, Flash and Vicki find themselves being carried high above the towering tree. The captive humans dare not try to break loose, for a fall from such a height would be fatal. The birds head for the top of a mountain crag, and first picture, bottom row, drop Flash and Vicki beside a nest in which the young are crying for food. Then the mother and father bird fly away as the young birds in the nest turn toward Flash. Bruised and chilled, Vicki clings to Flash in hysterical fear. He quickly tears himself loose and draws a miniature flamethrower from a hidden holster. A sudden blast of fire sends the startled dragon drood, fleeing with walkish-treeks. As the birds fly off, last picture, Flash tells Queen Vicki, All right, we're safe now, but he doesn't believe his own words. Under his breath, he mutters to himself, this mountain is unscalable, we're trapped, and those monsters are bound to return. So as I, if they'd let Flash drop, the fall would have killed him. Gee, none. I bet it was. It saved his life. But now we'll wait. Well, we'll have to wait until next week to find that out. Now, let's pick up the first page of the second section. Who is it? Yes, we will. Here he is on the first page. And now let's find out what crazy thing Dagwood on the first page of the second section does today. Here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ram-a-food, ram-a-fums, sim-sam-zombie, conjume music for Dagwood and Blondie. Dagwood is in front of a pet shop looking at a sign in the window which reads, Hawking Parrots. He exclaims, Well, that's just what I've always wanted. A few minutes later, Dagwood is inside the pet shop pointing to a parrot. Hey, does he really talk? Why, he can recite Lincoln's Gettysburg address. The proprietor snaps his fingers, and last picture top row of the parrot bevels. Dagwood's hat pops off an amazement. The proprietor says, He also speaks French and Spanish. First picture, second row, Dagwood jerks out his wallet. I'll take him. Here's your money. Last picture, second row, Dagwood is home. Hey, come downstairs, everybody. See what I've got for you. Blondie, Cookie, Alexander and the dog rush into the parlor and see the parrot. Oh, a parrot? Hey, gee, that's Tariff. Yeah, wait until you hear what he can do. And then Dagwood turns to the parrot and says, All right, come on, I'll say something. Hey, come on. Say hello. But the parrot says, Nothing. Hey, please, please, don't, don't, don't just sit there. Say something. Talk, please. But the parrot says, Nothing. For an hour, Dagwood tries. But the parrot says, Nothing. By this time, Blondie is asleep. Cookie and Alexander leave the room. And last picture, third row, Dagwood is on his knees before the parrot. Just one middle word, please, please. Just one itty bitty word. But the parrot says, Nothing. First picture, bottom row, Dagwood enters the pet shop again. He puts the parrot down and he says, I'll sell him back to you for half of what I paid you. The proprietor smiles. It's a deal. And last picture, Dagwood goes out the door heading for home again. The proprietor and the parrot laugh. And they shake hands. And the parrot says, And had the parrot train so that when anybody went home with the parrot, the parrot wouldn't talk. Oh, I don't know. If he was real smart, he'd have told the proprietor to give back only one fourth of what he paid, instead of one half. Oh, sure, he could make a better deal than that. Maybe he could. Well, now let's see what kind of a deal I can make with you. Would you like to read Dick's adventures? Oh, you know I would. Very well, let's skip to the very last page of Puck the Comic Weekly. And you remember that last week, Dick was dreaming that he was in the early days of America when the British had attacked the capital of the country, Washington, D.C. And adopted by three British soldiers. What happened to Dick now? Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic word with me. Rickety-pack-a-zack-a-zack. Let's have music for adventure to stick. In his dream, Dick finds himself with Dr. Beans, a prominent Maryland position, first picture, second row, on board one of the British ships. Dick and the doctor, now prisoners, see the British hurriedly laying in supplies. As more men of war join the vast enemy flotilla, Washington is still burning, and Dick wonders where they're going to attack next. A guard brings them some food and laughs, and laughs, and you'll probably be taken to London, in on by the neck. And last picture, second row, he goes on. We made an ash heap of Washington. Hey, I'll let you in on a little secret. Now that you can't tell your friends on shore, the fleet just got orders to sail up the Patapsco. The same things gonna happen to Baltimore. And first picture, bottom row, Dick exclaims, Oh, I wish there was some way of getting off this ship so we could give the warning that they're going to attack Baltimore. And Dr. Bean shakes his head hopelessly. But at this moment, last picture, in the burned city of Washington, a young lawyer is standing before President Madison. He pleads for permission to sail to the British fleet under a flag of truth. The lawyer's name, Francis Scott Key, his mission, to obtain the release of a distinguished American physician. Yes, he was. How does he want President Madison to let him do? He wants the president to let him go under a flag of truth, which means no fighting allowed. That's the white flag you see. And to ask the British, who have captured an American physician, a physician is a doctor, you know, he wants to ask the British to let the doctor go. Oh, maybe that's the doctor that's with Dick. Or maybe it is. And next week, we'll find out for sure. But now, look, underneath Dick's adventures, there's Rusty Riley. So am I, because last week, Tex had told Rusty that Rusty's uncle, who had been in jail, was out again. And we're fine. So Rusty said he was going to run away because his uncle was a bad man. And I'm afraid he did run away. Well, let's read now and find out if you are right. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Tex had sent Rusty back to the Carnival Grounds to get space pilot, the horse that had won the race. Rusty had gone with stovepipe. Rusty was a friend to Rusty and P. Today, a man returns to the Jones farm, leading space pilot. He stops in front of Tex saying, hey, kid, name Rusty, give me a buck to bring this nag over here and a hand this note for somebody called Tex. Well, I'm Tex, let me have the note. The man turns the horse over to him and Tex opens the letter. And he reads, dear Tex, in account of what you told me about Uncle Rufus being back, I think I better go away. I used a couple of the purchase certificates we won to buy some shoes in a suitcase. Oh, Lord. I'm enclosing the rest for you to give Mrs. Jones a knell. When you get this, I'll be gone for good. Tell Pete and Mr. Miles and Patty, all right. So long, Rusty. A few minutes later, Tex is saying to Pete, uh, Pete, I gotta make a flying trip out to the fairground. The vans will be here for our horses any time now. You can help the men loadin' them. Oh, sure, Tex. Last picture, top roll. Tex is at the carnival, speaking to the head man. Uh, are you Denver Dooley? Yeah, that's me. Well, they told me that you're the boss of the carnival. I'm lookin' for a tall fella they call Stove Piper, the leather jacket. The name's Rusty. Are they here? Doc Stove Piper runs a snake oil pitch for me. And, boy, you must be talkin' about the kid with a horse. First picture, bottom roll, Dooley says. Well, Doc's goin' on ahead to Brownsdale. We're open next week. Yeah, we're open next week down Brownsdale. But, boy, boy, no, boy wasn't with him. I don't know anything about him. I see. Well, thanks, friend. You're welcome, Dooley. Meanwhile, inside one of Denver Dooley's carnival trucks, Rusty and Flip are hidden away among the equipment. Rusty is saying, Jeepers, Flip, I hate to run away like this. With Uncle Rufus out of jail, there's nothing else to do. Because he said if I didn't help him get a lot of money from Mr. Miles, he was gonna take me away and be my guardian. It was quiet, but quiet. What pipe says to the driver? By Jove, I must be developing a psychosis. If I didn't know it was completely impossible, I would swear I heard a dog. And the driver says, Well, both of us must be nuts then, because I heard one too. Yes, he has run away for sure. But it's a lucky thing that he's in that truck that Stovepipe is riding in. Yes, maybe we'll be with the friend. Well, we'll find that out for sure next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey, next week, when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. Happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.