 My name is Jimmy. His name is Jake. And this is the Weekly Dumb in the year 2022. 2021 would have rhymed. But didn't, Jake, how are you? I'm not doing well with the new year, Jim. Stop with the voice shit, Zach. Just let us do the show. I'm good. 2022 big year. People are saying, or it could be a shit year. Like if recent success shows you that it's not recent success shows you it's not. Only success was the word you were looking for. We'll be back 6pm tonight. Nightly news. Jim, new year, new you. New me. New me. New me. New me. New me. Healthy. Be healthy. Have me tell you about the sports. Jake, can you tell me about the sports? Jim, everyone is talking about it. Zach Skye, Antonio Brown, little bit of a meltdown. He is a silly goose and that's why we're talking about the goose feathers in the Kansas City Chiefs game. Yes, the brown stuff's wild. I'm going to try and do a breakdown of it, but it's interesting touchy subject. This one's not. We had another football coach burn himself on a space heater. No, we are officially a burn pod and it's a solo show now. That's some new year stuff for you. Oh my goodness. I think I just manifested a frog in your throat. I just did my frog thing and then you just went full ribbit on us. I did rib it. Play it back. Yeah, so we had another coach stab next to a space heater and lit himself on fire. This one's a little different than the pants which Harbaugh did. This is his jacket so you can understand how he didn't feel it. More depth. But he burnt the shit out of his jacket. Feathers everywhere. Anytime there's feathers. We like a good spill. Yes, I want people start burning themselves more on the sidelines of NFL games. Take it back. Jim, speaking of people you don't like, here's almost a breakdown. Almost a breakdown today. We have the Royal Guard trampling a child. The Royal Guard used to be a very real thing. Now they're just kind of like a tourist attraction, but no one told them they're not a real thing anymore. So they're marching around protecting the royal family also not a real thing anymore. It's just a farce. It's just a farce. But there's a lot of people defending this and you can see a little kid gets in the way. And I mean you shouldn't get in the way, but little kids get in the way sometimes. The guy just screams in the most English voice, Make way! Make way! Which we have to admit that part's cool. That's a fun way to announce that. But running over little kids. And then he just tramples this little kid and like steps over him, like posterize him. And everyone in the crowd is like, what? Yeah. But then there are people supporting the Royal Guard. Zach put the YouTube comments right here and it's actually pretty, like everyone's like, no, that's what the Royal Guard does. It's a serious thing. It's like, no, it's not. It's not a serious thing. They wear stupid hats. No, it's a serious thing trampling little kids. No thanks. Let's go back to the sports, back to the football, back to things going wrong. What happened, Jake? Jim, arguably things went right. Jim, your Philadelphia Beagles, they're winning football games. Hey, proud of you, Philly. Don't care. Ha! It was a record. They're nine and seven. Facts only. Jaylen Hertz was leaving the game. He's getting his claps. He's waving and whammy. High five. Crowd Falls. Yeah. My grandma, my great-grandma used to tell me a story about the ship that was taking off from the dock and everyone ran to one side of the ship to wave goodbye to the people on land and the ship just straight tipped over and a lot of them died. Is that a real story? Just a life lesson. No, it's a real story that my nana used to tell me and she'd giggle when she told it. The equivalent in this would be if the captain of that boat took a picture with all the corpses. What's your hand? 2022. Hertz is obviously the big winner. Inside Job, people are asking, who asked? People are asking, do you think Hertz people, you know, kind of rig this railing? Because he comes out looking great. Yeah, can we get my mic here? I feel like this is a bad look. I don't want that. What a fucking reveal. Jim, speaking of inside jobs, you're made of fish. In the not sports news, it rained fish in Texarkana. Anyway, I can't find the story, but I loved the interview. It rained fish and the news interviewed a guy to ask him about the fish raining and he gave them all the insight they needed. It was raining real hard and a fish hit the ground. I said, it's raining fish. Well, I saw a fish on the ground. I said, it's raining fish. Wow. Made the cut. How many interviews did it make the cut? Tough on him. He's a hundred percent. I'm not tough on him. The news running that, as if it adds to the story. They have to share the news. He gave a hundred percent factual statement. Local news is hilarious. Hey, what happened here? It's raining fish. Wow. Great insight. So this happens, Jake, when there's something called a tornado, heard of it, and there's something called a water spout. Same exact thing. But if it's over water, it's a water spout. Why don't they call them land spouts? Were tornadoes ever called land spouts? Seems like they should have been called. All the storms are the same stuff. Tsunamis or hurricanes. Like it's all the same. We just let the nerds go like 90% on that. Wow. I mean, come on. Scientists. So anyway, the goes over the water and some little fish gets sucked up into the vacuum. Then it goes on the land and they fall. So it can rain fish. You know what the article said? That it can rain frogs as well. I did see that. I know you saw that. Employee of the week. Should we give out the employee of the year from last year? Zach. I was going to give it to us. Oh, I'll take it. Zach. Zach gets it. Zach, to start to know you, let's like, bygones be bygones. Bygones. How good of a phrase is that? Let's let bygones be bygones. Let's let bygones be bygones. If you counted every time the word by God was said. It's a double word. In the country. It's a double word. How many times do you think it was that specific sentence versus any other sentence that has the word bygones? I'd say 80% of the times a human used the word bygone, it was said in let's let bygones be bygones. I might be higher. Yeah, I think that might be low. I've never used bygone in a bygone error. That's another way you could say it. Good job, Zach. Let's have a clean year, Zach. Maybe no death edits. Oh, he's so dead. Your mom's going to be poosed. Oh, and there's blood coming out of his mouth. The employee of the week. Do this a little, a little spell, like a baby, like a baby puke of blood. The employee of the week. I don't know. Who is it? We just did it. We gave out the employee of the year. That was last year. No employee of the week to start the week. Oh, I have three people in mind. Seems high. Maddie Mass for making the Jeopardy! Unfarmed to fame. Rob Schrocco for doing the Mario Kart, but they both don't get it. Job, Zach. Comment below how many houses you think you've slept in in your entire life. I was trying to figure it out with my wife. We guess it's somewhere between 500 and 700, about 10 a year, but then about 15 a year from like fourth grade to high school. You slept in 500 houses. You did the math. Kate, you were there being bees? I slept in a lot of places. Do hotels count as houses? No, but apartments do. A living, like someone lives there. Like Katie and I slept in 12 in this year. And I'm like, well, shit. If I go back, 30 is 300. And then you figure that you probably did 15 for a bunch of years as a kid. Sleepovers and stuff. Yeah, but you sleep over a lot of the same houses. But you just in over the course of a year, it's a couple, especially in college. Comment below. Comment below. That was the Weekly Dome. Today's episode is brought to you by Noom. If you aren't already signed up, Noom is an app that uses a combination of psychology, technology, and human coaching to help you meet the personal health and wellness goals you would like to achieve. If you want to stick to your New Year's resolution in 2022, you can get a free Noom evaluation and a seven day trial when you use our link at Noom.com slash Johnboy. It's a new year. It's a new you. It's a Noom. .com slash Johnboy. Guy dunking today, a drive through. Guy dunking the drive through. Say good morning. Happy New Year. How long can that last? Well, today is the first day to be fair. I know, but how long? The fifth? I took up a day at a face this week. Do you want to hear about it? Yeah. I thought it was that I'd never seen like a full bidet. I never had full access to a bidet. So I was messing with it. And I was like, this is cold. I thought the days are supposed to be warm. And I was touching the sprinkling of the water. And I twisted the knob thinking I was doing the heat full blast bidet into my eye, into my face. Sometimes your fingers freak me out just a little bit. That's not a trick. Do you know who used to do this? Who used to do that? The wood shop teacher. That's how he explained gears to the students. Right.