 Before you comment, this thing happening with my hair is due to an interaction with SCP and, you know, starting to dig it. But anyways, let's get down to business. Alistair the radio demon is not an SCP, but if it were, how would the SCP Foundation contain it? Hello, I'm Dr. Theron Sherman, and in this series we construct hypothetical containment procedures for non-SCP popular culture entities and objects. Let's begin. As the show is only in pilot, we have very little information to work with at present, but you-has-been-hotel-fans have been highly aggressive about getting your boy on the show, as well as documenting every shred of information you can find hidden in the initial episode. I'm honestly impressed. You're all going to make fine researchers once you're out of Academy. Alistair is a demon, specifically one of the more powerful overlords of hell. A lot of the show seems to be alluding to Jewish or Christian religious tropes, such as mentions of Lucifer, Lilith, angels, etc. So much like our Nick Nocturne episode, we'll be digging into demonic containment procedures today. The quickest and cheapest method of demonic containment is the trusty salt circle. Depending on what lore you're following, it could be as easy as pouring a circle of salt, or as difficult as using Thaumaturgy to power the containment spell and entering a battle of wills with your captive. And either way, this simple spell is a pushover for more powerful entities. We probably need something with a little more punch. Thankfully, we have a man, or demon, on the inside. SCP-4357-J, nicknamed the Cooperative Demon, is a demon who, in the course of berating our researchers with how stupid they must be to be unable to contain it properly, has repeatedly spilled tips that make its containment more secure, up to the point of painting on security glyphs itself, and even building its own wrought iron cage. These stronger fortifications, along with religious iconography and spray bottles of holy water, have reliably kept 4357-J in containment, and prove invaluable to daily containment of Abrahamic faith-based entities. Of course, like Nick Nocturne, we're looking at one of the highest echelons of demon here, so let's break down the anomalous abilities we need to contain. Pyrokinesis? SCP-457 is a being of sentient flame, so sprinkler systems will be a requirement. Shadow manipulation? If your entity can manipulate shadows, leave no shadows to manipulate. SCP-017 is a blueprint for shadowless room containment protocols. Much of Allister's demonic or voodoo magics can be nullified by the right combination of runes and sigils. Unfortunately, the Foundation's biggest weakness is teleportation. After all, SCP-507, the reluctant dimension hopper, still ports out of containment at random, and all we can do is go pick it up when it reappears. Since Allister is capable of teleporting himself as well as others by using portals, all we can hope is that some combination of religious iconography, the iron in the containment cell, and liberal application of Scranton reality anchors can do the job. If so, brilliant! We nailed it! If not, well, I guess we just have to hope that that snazzy demon stays down in hell. Make sure to like and share this video, comment any creatures you would like to see containment procedures implemented for, and if you really want to help us make bigger and better SCP projects, become a patron at the link in the description. Secure. Contain. Protect.