 وَأَقُولُوا فِي القُرْآنِ مَا جَاءَتْ بِهِ اَيَاتُوهُ فَهُوَ الْكَارِيمُ الْمُنْزَالُوْ وَأَقُولُوا قَالَ اللَّهُ جَلَّ جَلَالُوْهُ وَالْمُصْطَافَ الْهَاديِ وَلَا أَتْ أَوَّالُوْ الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عمت الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته يعيش بطريقةamp 정도 لقد exclusive أقول الله أن ن face about the mention at grand peace how message and Morsom محمد صل الله يفهمي و'هيك فائمان التوفول with talking about the rights of the husband the rights of the wife we've talked about the rights in which they are general equivalents and we're also talking about the rights that are rights of the husband we've talked about the obligation of the husband to spend upon his wife to provide accommodation for his wife since its obligation внутرا these are some of the major obligations that the husband has to take we've talked about the obligation of providing food and clothing and issues relating around spending equality and spending between core wives and so on we're now going to come to some of the obligations of the wife and we're going to start by talking about how serious the wife's obligations are when we spoke about how serious the نفق are the husband the spending of the husband and how serious that نفق that spending is we're now going to talk about how serious the obligations of the wife are the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said if i was going to command someone to prostrate before i eat a bow before someone i would have commanded a woman to bow before her husband that's one of the the حاليث on this topic and we're going to cover quite a few different wordings of this حاليث and different حاليث or different different versions of it so here we talk about the seriousness of a woman fulfilling her husband's obligations and the importance of obedience to the husband since the husband has been set up as the head of the family الله عزو جسر الرجال وقوامون على النساء men have a degree of responsibility over women because of what Allah has preferred some of them over others and because of what they spend out of their wealth in response to that a woman has to respect that قوامة that responsibility that her husband has and she has to obey him and we've spoken already about obedience and we've spoken about the great rewards of obedience that if a woman obeys her husband prays her prayers فسر رمضان keeps herself chased and obeys her husband it will be said to her يوم كيامة enter from whichever the doors of paradise you wish but regardless of what her husband asks her to do if he's not asking her to do something forbidden then she must do what she's told however when it comes to doing what you're told and we're going to come to this in شاء الله we talk about the parents as well doing what you're told we're going to talk about two aspects of it the first is there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the creator there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the creator so the husband says to his wife take off your حجاب the husband says to his wife that you go out with you know adornment makeup or whatever the husband says to his wife don't pray the husband says to his wife don't fast there is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the creator but if she has to disobey her husband because he's asking her to do something she should disobey him in the best possible way with the best of manners the kindest of manners and the best of character because we said this is part of the معروف that the husband and the wife are commanded to live together with the best of manners the best of character so if she has to disobey him in something because he asked her to do something then she does it in the best possible way and that's the same with the child towards their parent and it's the same of the husband towards the Muslim ruler for example that if you're going to disobey someone because they asked you to do something haram you've got to do it in the best and the kindest possible way also if the husband asks her to do something which is unreasonable or harmful to her so he asks her to do something which is harmful and brings about harm upon her then she doesn't have to obey him in this but again she has to do this according to معروف according to what is good and this is an area where she should seek consultation from the people of knowledge because it's difficult to give a single answer there are many different situations she might feel it's harmful but the husband might be justified so it's better that she should ask from the people of knowledge to understand this particular issue but generally speaking she obeys her husband unless he asks her to do something haram or something which brings upon her considerable harm which is unreasonable within the limits of what is customary and so on and what is within the limits of the شريعة continuing on from this we come to a hadith in this hadith is in others that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said نفسها وهي على قتب لم تمنعه he said by the one that the soul of Muhammad is in his hands by Allah a woman does not fulfill the rights of her lord until she fulfill the rights of her husband and if he asked her for herself i asked her for intimacy while she was in the saddle she would not prevent him from that and that means that she's in it's very inconvenient and she's saddled up riding the camel or whatever you know and he then asked her for intimacy she then has to get down to make herself available for her husband and that is one of the major obligations of a woman over her husband and some of the scholars they put it in opposition or in contrast to and نفقة to the husband spending upon her and that is the right to intimacy however in reality there is an element of the right to intimacy which is بالمماثلة which is equivalent and this is evidence from a number of points of view first of all the fact that غد البسر and sufficing yourself and lowering your gaze is an obligation upon both the husband and the wife so the fact that lowering the gaze is an obligation upon the husband and the wife and protecting the chastity is an obligation upon the husband and the wife therefore fulfilling desires of the husband and the wife is an equivalent obligation to an extent however where it becomes specific to the man is the immediacy the right to immediate intimacy or immediate satisfaction of intimate desires that that needs to be with regard to the man there is an immediacy there is an urgency that isn't mentioned with regard to the woman even though it is still from her rights and شيخ رسلم تعيمية رحمة الله تعالى mentioned it from the greatest of the rights that the woman has that her husband fulfills her needs of an intimate nature but here this emphasizes the immediacy with regard to the husband and that is for a couple of reasons first of all the scholars they say that this is the husband's right when he is spending upon his wife when he has paid the مهر that he has done so on the understanding that she will be available for him in in terms of intimacy and he has that understanding it's part of the act it's part of the contract and we define the contract as being a contract which makes intimacy between the two parties permissible in the way that the شرية has legislated it so if that's the very definition of اكتن لكه then ultimately it has to be a major part of the understanding between husband and wife so here she's not allowed to prevent him from that and also the nature of men is typically different a man if he isn't satisfied in that way and isn't given that right then it may be that it leads him to looking elsewhere it may be that it leads him to something that will go back to that woman and bring harm to her like her reputation and her honor because he isn't able to control himself so a man's needs are somewhat different in that regard so we're going to say that if we look at it one way intimacy is a shared right and it's equivalent because both husband and wife have the right to intimacy in general but in terms of immediacy and intimacy like as in it being an immediate need then this is a right of the husband in response to the wealth that he spends upon his wife at the محب that he has given to her likewise in the narration of uh this حديث in ابي داود and the حديث this particular حديث from معاذب and جبل that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said لو كنت ااميرا احداً and يسجد لأحد لأمرت النساء and يسجد لأسواجهن لما جعل الله لهم عليهن من الحق the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said if i was to command anyone to prostrate before anyone i would have commanded women to prostrate before their husbands because of the rights that Allah has given their husbands over them and in the حديث of anus that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said لا يصلح لبشر and يسجد لبشر it's not right for a man or a person to prostrate before another person ولو صالح لبشر and يسجد لبشر لأمرت المرأة and تسجد لزوجها من اضم حقه عليها he said that if it was right for a person to prostrate before another person i would have commanded a woman to prostrate before a husband because of the greatness of the right that he has over her likewise in another حديث the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم explained in even more detail the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said by the one whose hand my soul is in if there was from the man's feet to the crown of his head and also that was spilling out blood and pus and then she came and she faced him and she licked it off she would not have given him his right she would not have given him all of his rights and that is really explains that the severity and the seriousness of the right of the husband and the obligation of the wife towards the husband that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم explained with such emphasis that if he had an ulcer that was bleeding with blood and pus from his head to his foot and she licked it she would not have fulfilled the right that he had over her so the rights are very very important to take it seriously and for her to strive to fulfill to learn what those rights are and to fulfill those rights and Abdullah ibn amr narrated from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that he said الله does not look at a woman who doesn't thank her husband or show gratitude to her husband even though she cannot live without him or she can't manage without him الله يزوجل doesn't look at i doesn't there's no benefit for that woman that Allah يزوجل doesn't look at her there's no good for her if she doesn't show gratitude to her husband even though she should recognize that she can't manage without him these are all authentic أحديث from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم و عن أسماء بنت يزيد الانصارية قالت مر بي النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم و أنا في جيوان أتراب لي أسماء بنت يزيد الانصارية she said the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم passed by me and I was with a group of of girls that were of a similar age to me الحديث is in the book are in the adab and she said فسلما علينا he gave salam to us و قال أي وقال إيا كنا و كفر المنعمين he said keep away from ingratitude towards the one who gives you goodness she said و كنت من أجرائيهنا على مسألته she said I was one of the most brave to ask him questions فقلتوا يا رسول الله I said a message of Allah و ما كفر المنعمين what does it mean to be ungrateful towards the one who gives you goodness زوجا و يرزقها منه ولد فتغضب الغضب فتغضب الغضب فتكفر فتقول ما رأيت منك خيرا قط he said perhaps one of you women will be single for a long time with her parents living with her parents she will not be married then Allah will give her a husband and from her husband will give her children so she gets angry with a bit of anger one day and she's ungrateful and she says I never saw any good from you we have already spoken about this from a different angle when I emphasize that one of the rights is that she should not be ungrateful towards her husband and one of her obligations is gratitude towards him and that she never uses these words like never I never saw any good from you or I never knew any good from you or you never did anything good from me and words that are equivalent to this اذا تو زوجا انتي قالت نعم قال و كيفا انتي له سوى الحسين من المحصن نريد that a paternal aunt of his came to the Prophet صلاحيساً for a need and when he finished with that need that she had he said to her are you married are you do you have a husband she said yes he said how are you towards him and the حديث is narrated by Imam Ahmed and الحاكب قالت ما قالوه she said I am not I try not to be deficient towards him in his rights إلا ما عجزت عن except if I'm unable to do it قال فانظري اينا انتي منه فانما هو جنةك و نار he said she said I try not to fall short in any of his right's the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم قال she said except what I what I can't do and I put this حاديث because I felt that it's a really nice explanation of how she coped with this huge responsibility of the husband you know all these are حاديث we heard about this way to responsibility and we've heard on both sides و أخذنا منكم ميثاقان غالي that they took from you a heavy oath and we've heard the right of the husband of the wife and that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that I wouldn't have commanded anyone to prostrate to anyone but if I did I would have said for a woman to prostrate to a husband how did the women cope with this she explains it beautifully she said I try my best not to fall short in the way that I deal with him except if I'm just unable I couldn't do it I did my best sometimes I couldn't do it he said look at how you are with your husband for your husband he is your جنة or your نار he is your paradise or he is your hellfire and that we have mentioned already in the حاديث that if a woman prays her five daily prayers and fast a month of ramadan God's a chastity and obeys her husband it will be said to her enter from whichever the doors of جنة you wish and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said shall I not inform you of your men in paradise النبي في الجنة the prophets are in جنة والصديق في الجنة and the صديق the truthful one is in جنة والشهيد في الجنة and the mata is in جنة والمولود في الجنة and the child that dies before puberty is in جنة والرجل يزور أخاه في ناحية المصر لا يزوره إلا لله في الجنة and a man visits his brother in the far side of the city and he only visits him for Allah he is in جنة then the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم shall I not inform you of your women in paradise everyone who is loving and bears many children بزوجها if she gets angry or that she something she is a bad is done to her or her husband gets angry with her she says this is my hand in your hand my eyes are not going to close to sleep until you're happy with me النسائي النسونين الكبرى from the hadith of anas ابن عباس وكعب منعجرة this hadith is a powerful hadith powerful hadith that the woman described as being the women of the people of jannah she gets angry or her husband gets angry or things don't work out the way they're supposed to she puts a hand in her husband's hand and she says my eyes are not going to sleep until you're happy with me and what a beautiful etiquette that is and what an example of the responsibility and the obligation of the wife towards the husband and that's why we put it in that particular in that particular place in our discussion so far another beautiful example of how really to make this work to make these responsibilities work because we don't want to make people feel like it's a burden they can't bear لا يوكليف الله نفسا إلا وسعها الله doesn't burden a person with what they can't bear is that our mother عائشة she said the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said he said i know when you're angry when you're happy with me and i know when you're angry with me قالت فقلت من أين تعرفوا ذلك she said i said to him how do you know this he said when you're happy with me you say i swear by the lord of محمد and she says by Allah but she says it in the way i swear by the lord of محمد when she's happy with the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم وإذا كنت علي غضى قلتي لا ورب إبراهيم and if you're upset with me you say by the lord of إبراهيم قالت قلت أجل والله يا رسول الله ما أهجرو إلا سمك she said indeed that's true by Allah or messenger of Allah but i don't leave anything except your name look at the beautiful way that عائشة managed this huge responsibility now remember عائشة has much more responsibility than an than an ordinary wife because her husband is a prophet so she has a responsibility of a wife to her husband and a responsibility of a follower to a prophet so it's a very serious responsibility this حديث بخاري a muslim it's very serious but here look at how she says that when she gets angry she doesn't shout or say anything bad or upset the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم just he can tell from the fact that she doesn't say by the lord of محمد but she says by the lord of إبراهيم and she said the only thing i left was your name i didn't want to make you angry or say anything to make you angry but just i i didn't mention your name that was all and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم look how beautifully he took it and how beautifully he managed that situation with عائشة and how each knew about the other when they were upset and how each one managed that and how عائشة took on the rights of the wife and fulfilled those rights and the rights of a someone who of course her husband as the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم she has to also follow him as a prophet and as a guide and a teacher as well as as a husband and how she joined between those rights so i wanted to bring this to show you that these rights are not impossible to fulfill and nobody should hear these rights and feel like it's not possible or it's not it's not doable for a woman to fulfill them rather it is doable and it is possible just like it's possible for a husband to fulfill the obligations that he has over his wife but it requires that beautiful living together وعشر وهنا بالمعروف live together with them in the most beautiful way and it requires that مودة and that رحمة and forgiveness and love and care that is required from both sides for these weighty rights of the husband and wife to be able to be fulfilled وعن معاذ بن جبل رضي الله عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال من الحور العين لا تؤذيه قاتلك الله فإنما هو عندك تخيل يوشك أن يفارقك إلينا عادي لسنا ترمذي ابن ماجى لأن مصنى اللي مام احمد عادي فمعاذا من جبل أيسم قال لتلو not a woman upset her husband or harm her husband in the duniya عندما she says if she does this then his wife from the حور العين from the women of جنة she says don't upset him may Allah fight you for he's only with you for a time a temporary time وانه سوف يتركك لكي تأتي لنا وهذا حديث يخبر one of the warnings and the instruction to the wife to tell her not to harm upset a husband and not to harm her husband and that is one of the obligations that is upon her. and to understand that if she does so then this is only going to raise his rank and only going to cause the hordal aim from the women of jannah to make a du'a against that woman and to remind her that he's only going to be with her for a short time. This also talks about the severity of the obligations and the importance that she doesn't harm her husband and she doesn't upset a husband. The Prophet ﷺ he said The Prophet ﷺ said two people their prayer does not reach above their head A servant who runs away from his master until he returns and a woman who disobeys her husband until she returns to obeying her husband and this is a further emphasis for the obligation of obedience And in Bukhari and Muslim from the Hadith of Abh-e-Huraira He said Abh-e-Huraira narrates the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said The angels curse her until the morning comes and in other narrations until her husband is happy with her So we can take from this the right of intimacy We had spoken about it briefly where it said there's a degree of equivalence in the right of intimacy But that the immediacy of it is a right which is for the husband And in Sahih Muslim from the Hadith of Abh-e-Huraira قال رسول الله ﷺ The Prophet ﷺ said حديث is in Sahih Muslim But having said that we also need to bear in mind on the other side a Hadith in Muslim from Abh-e-Saheed al-Khudri يقول قال رسول الله ﷺ إن من أشر الناس عند الله منزله يوم القيامة الرجل يفضي إلى مراءته وتفضي إليه ثم ينشروا سرها يقول من أفضل من الناس عند الله منزل على يوم القيامة إنه يوم القيامة الرجل منزله ثم يفضل منزله يوم القيامة الرجل منزله يجب أن تقوم with what happens between them in the bedroom quiet and private and not spreading that to anyone. And that is also an equivalent obligation as it regards to the wife. That's why the Prophet ﷺ said a man who goes to his wife and his wife goes to him. It's not allowed for him to spread any of the private things that happen between them in terms of intimacy. So that's kind of a counterbalance to that. And in addition to this from the obligations is that which generated by أبي هوريرا. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said it's not allowed for a woman to fast while her husband is present except with his permission. I in case of his need of intimacy nor to allow someone to come into his house except with his permission. And the Hadith is in بخاري and Muslim. So very important here that even when it comes to fasting that is the voluntary fasting or the making up of the fasts that she delays that or she seeks her husband's permission in that in case he has the need of that immediate need the immediate obligation for intimacy as we had mentioned earlier. That's all we have time for in this session where we've looked at some of the major obligations uh upon the the wife as it relates to obligation she has towards her husband as we had looked at the ones from the husband previously. As well Allah made easy for us to mention and Allah ﷺ is best. السلام عليكم. If you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com