 Lever Brothers Company makers of swan the soap that gives you a wonderful new kind of suds presents With my friend Starring Mary Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane Let's see my name Jane Stacy assets normal intelligence Passable appearance and a $50 a week job Liabilities still single Item number two name Irma Peterson assets cute face blonde hair trim figure Liabilities one vacuum inside of her head Now understand me I love Irma Peterson. She's the sweetest kid I've ever met but there are times when Well, for instance the other night we were preparing dinner Irma was peeling onions and the tears were streaming down her cheeks So I said honey. Yes Jane. Look, I read once that if you peel onions under water, it won't affect your eyes Why don't you try it? Oh, I can't just had my hair waved and there's a hole in my bathing cap Well now you know why I hope the new year will be different Back for just a few hours away from it Irma and I are sitting in our little room discussing our New Year's Eve plans Oh, Jane. Yeah, you know as the year slips away I realize more and more how lucky I am to have a fellow like Al Lucky for the man who hasn't worked in five years. Oh, it's not that it's just that Al is so sweet He never forgets me on holiday. Oh, he's so reliable. Why is very named Al AL stands for always loyal I Frankly, I think it stands for avoid labor What time are you expecting that pause that depresses? Oh Al will be here before midnight. He said he was going to get up early today We have great plans for tonight really where are you going? Nowhere Come again, we're sitting in Al is bringing the refreshments and and as soon as we run out of one bottle. He's going to get another You know, you can get all the coax you want these days Why that cheapskate Jane, I don't think it's nice of you to say that after all he's coming here to see me Richard hasn't even called yet. Well, I haven't called him. I mean I mean well I don't want to go out, but at least he could have called you. Oh, well, it wouldn't faze me one bit Really, wouldn't I I think only idiots go out on New Year's Eve. Well, out again I don't see why Richard please earn as far as Richard is concerned really I Well, I have a headache. Oh, I'm sorry Jane Then you wouldn't have any fun if you did go out. No, no, I wouldn't think that New Year's Eve means Absolutely nothing to me. Nothing at all. I'd much rather just Hello Yes, Richard. Oh, no, Jane doesn't want to go out. She has a headache. Goodbye. Give me that phone Oh, how could you could you had a headache it went away? Sometimes a fellow's voice is so much better than an aspirin. Yeah Hello, Richard. Oh Richard. This is Jane What? No, I never felt better Headache. No, no, no Irma has the headache. Yeah, she got kind of confused, you know You take me where oh That'd be wonderful. Well, I know it's short notice, but I have practically nothing to do to get ready and I'll be waiting Okay, Richard. Bye. Oh Irma Richard's taking me out, but you said you didn't want to go. Well, what could I do? Didn't you see how long he begged me? Look to you. Well, he begs very fast. Oh Look at the time and I looked like a mess. Yes, your hair needs to do it sure it doesn't I haven't got a thing to wear Well, Richard, you'll understand. No Irma. No, this is 1948. It's leap here and I've made up my mind I'm not gonna let Richard forget it for one minute I'm gonna teach you it that my looks leap at him and my clothes leap at him my personality leaps at him Oh, well, I began a dress. Yes, I did a dress dress. Let me think now. Oh Irma, do you think you could lower the hemline on my black dress? Well, sure Jane. I do my own. Oh, good, sweetie Now my hair. Oh, where could I find a beauty parlor open on New Year's Eve? It's just hopeless Well, Jane, I could do your hair. You think you could certainly I do my own and you know all my friends say that I have a head It's very unusual. Yeah Well, I guess I have no choice Come in Happy new year girls and may the years to come find you as sweet and pretty as the two of you are Thank you, professor. And may the years make you pretty too. Oh All right, all right. I'm a seriously professor and I hope that the new year brings you health and prosperity and And a more decent room to live in. Thank you girls, but let's not talk about my room I already made a resolution. No more complaining to Mrs. O'Reilly No more saying the room looks like a stable. No more. Will I nail a sign on my door condemned? 1948 is going to be different. What about paying the rent? How many resolutions can a man make? Oh My goodness look at the time professor. I don't want to see him rude or anything But Richard's taking me out and I've got to wash my hair. Well, will you get started on that dress? All right, Jane? Leave it to me So Richard is taking her out. That's nice Emma there is out taking you. We're staying home, and I'm glad Why? Well, you know how crowded nightclubs are they make you sit in a corner and next thing you know Someone puts one of those silly pointed hats on your head and always makes me feel I'm back in school again And I'm too grown up for that I know what you mean How tall are you professor? Five feet five why well Jane wants me to let the hem down on this dress, and I want to get it even all around Would would you mind putting it on? It's a little embarrassing, but if it'll help you out. Oh, that's well here now. Let's slip it on Pull your stomach in professor. No use comes out in back I Just inhale There now nods on What's so funny you look cute I don't know how do you like that the old professor is a classy dress Let me see your two inches Two and a half, you know every now that I got the dress on I just remember my poor old mother They're always one of the girl If she could just see you now, she'd be a little frightened the daughter with the beard How is coming out there? Oh fine professor come in Hi, chicken, and you too madam Don't be a wise guy. Oh It's you professor. Can I dad you come one step near me and believe me, I'm Being very kind I'm fixing this dress for Jane How does it look? Dress don't look bad, but the model needs a veil You finish already in a minute professor. I'm pinning it up Let me take this minute to say happy new year to the two of you. Here chicken. Here's a big kiss Oh, well, I want to kiss but it isn't midnight yet. Don't worry chicken. I always carry a spare Then now you professor Al. Oh, sorry professor the dress threw me We'll just shake hands happy new year professor same to you. I'm not in my place. All right. It's pin now now Let's take it off. Gladly Now if you excuse me, I got to take my hat and coat and run what you hurry It's midnight. I miss O'Reilly gets a little mellow at midnight and she wants to give me a kiss And I can't think of a worse way to start the new year. Goodbye Yes, happy new year Jane. You doing James Hatchett. Yes There was no time to get to a beauty parlor and Richard is taking her out Jane wants to look her best So she'll make a hit with him chicken. I just got an idea What is it Al? It breaks my heart to see Jane and Richard break up. How do you know they'll break up? Oh, it's in the cards the dames got no glamour. What do you mean? Well, look, I'll explain it to you honey. Remember that picture. We saw with Gregory Peck. Who is he making love to? Lana Turner, that's right a blonde and that Wednesday night. Who was Tyrone power making love to? Why Betty Grable? That's right another blind. Oh, well, that's silly Olivia de Havilland is a brunette Well, why do you think she's always crying? Did you ever see what happens to the men in her pictures they either kill themselves or leave the country? You mean that expression gentlemen prefer blondes is really true. Well chicken. You don't have to look any further What are you a blonde and what am I a gentleman who do I prefer me? That's what I say gentlemen prefer blonde Now look chicken you want to see Jane married, don't you? Oh sure worse than myself. Well, and you got to help her Well, you're gonna do her hair. Why don't you touch it up a little give it glamour bleaching. Oh Well, I don't think she'd ever agree to that. She don't have to know you just slip a couple of jiggers of ammonia in the solution That she never forget me don't be too sure some things have to be shown take my grandmother didn't believe in gambler One night. She's having coffee and instead of lump sugar. Somebody slips a pair of dice into her hand Your girl's never been so happy. You know for the past ten years. We haven't been able to get her out of Las Vegas Chicken all I can say is that the girl's future is in your hand But how do you know Jane would look good as a blonde? We experiment hand me that black hairbrush on the dress. All right, Al Here now, I'll go get the ammonia good See they got a little lie around here. We'll mix the lie and the ammonia Must do the trick. Yes, sir. We're gonna make this a year Jane will never forget Here it is Al. I put some in the pan good Now I put a little lie in mix it up Now chicken watch the brush is the color of Jane's hair. I lay it in the pan now. We give it a minute. Oh, Al I'm worried. Don't be chicken. Believe me many a dame face the dark future until they made their hair see the light Look at the brushes hold it something's wrong all the hair fell out We couldn't do that to Jane. She'd catch cold Oh What's the world's going on in here? Well, the two of you done to my hair brush We'll gladly pay for it. You see Want to give it as a Christmas present Christmas present. Yeah, I got a friend there a midget Indian Want to give him a paddle What are you two trying to do or my why are you fooling around with the ammonia? Well, I'm I'm lightheaded and Al thought you that's all I want to hear Irma Peterson How could you even think of a thing like that? Well? I wouldn't let you touch my hair now for all the New Year's dates in the world. I'll take it easy Jane We will just experiment give her another chance not on your life. I'll stay home before I do that Oh Jane, please. It would just make me miserable having you here with me. I mean Well, just forget it. I'll just tell Richard that he called me too late You can still get your hair done on New Year's Eve by home my girlfriend Amber Lipscott her Oh, please. Oh, I know you don't like her But but Amber is a licensed beauty operator and she'd be glad to come over and do it for you But I can't stand her. She walks around in her bare feet Jane she only puts her hands in your hair I've got a feeling this is going to be worse Irma. Hello Amber. This is Irma Happy New Year to you too. Oh What are you doing Amber? Throwing out your mistletoe Well, better luck next year Amber would you please come over and do Jane's hair. She's got a date What? Where does she buy her mistletoe? Oh? She'll tell you when you get here. Oh, please hurry Amber. Her day will be here soon. Goodbye She's coming right over Jane, and I hope you're not mad at me anymore No, no, that's all right, honey. It's just that I'm so excited, you know Well, I guess I'll take a fast shower while I'm waiting for Amber. Excuse me. Will you sure Jane? Chicken this Amber Lipscott. Does she know her stuff? Al you've seen her. Yeah, what about it? Well, she's a wonderful beautician. She even works on herself You know, I think before the season that is over we'll go back to ammonia And Now Susie swan sings to us listen my advice says Susie you like this brand new kind of lather So be choosy swan gives you beauty lather riches cream your skin stays soft as any dream and Fresh as do I swan do you say Susie Well, I know you ladies agree with Susie swan that the soap for your baths is something to be choosy about Yes, that's why so many lovely women choose swan soap because white floating swan gives you a wonderful new kind of beauty lather a new kind of beauty lather to make your baths delightful always you see swan's new kind of beauty lather is Extra rich extra creamy so when you smooth it on you can fairly feel how gently swan cleanses your skin And when you step from the tub you'll see by the glow of your skin how thoroughly swan's beauty lather cleanses, too And you'll notice still another beauty gift from swan. That's the way swan leaves your skin after your bath Satin smooth and fresh not all dry and over soaked because swan rinses away so completely So next time let swan's wonderful new kind of beauty lather give you a really delightful beauty bath Shower but believe me. I'm not singing why not because it's nine o'clock, which it'll be here any minute and I look like a savage Amber hasn't arrived yet to do my hair and I still don't know what sort of a job Room has done on my dress and the minutes keep rushing past like mad. Oh What a girl will go through for a little thing like landing a husband Yes, Jane sweetie, will you iron that hand that you fix? I already have come in hello, dearie So sweet of you to come over and do Jane's hair on New Year's Eve Listen, dearie. It's just a favor to you for your roommate. I wouldn't lift a finger Brings me up the girls like her get all the dates. Oh, I have a date, too Oh, where under the newspapers on the sofa I'll get up Oh, it's you Amber thought I had a nightmare Hello, Al what's new with the man on the street? Not much how things at stillman's gym Oh, I'm a he's a card. Why don't you ask for a new deal? She just got here Say I must is your roommate one of them talky types You know the kind that bend your ear when you wake on them. Well, I don't think so I hope not because when they talk I have to answer them and I keep the bobby pins in my mouth And you don't know how many times I'm almost choked to death I prefer the silent type like myself people who never open their mouth unless they have something to say Now, let me see my curl is my comb rinse. Oh, no. I forgot the hair lacquer. Say Al Would you run out and buy me some hair lacquer? You mean it's my turn to talk Please okay chicken. Where do I get it other drag store has everything and why did I get some touchy rolls? I always use them when I run out of curlers Now, let's see. I think I'll have a sit here. I'ma get a towel Hello, Amber G. You'll never know how much I appreciate this. I do anything for aimer. Just sit down, Jerry Okay. Now. What style do you like? Well, I generally wear it in a side sweep. You're crazy, but I like it Oh, well, I guess when a person gets to be 30 they want to look sophisticated I'm 23 You kidding? Now just a minute. Just a minute. Keep your head still dearer. You ain't bobbin' for apples Say, when did you tint your hair last? That's the natural color Glun-lighty yourself if it'll make you happy Amber makes Jane extra pretty tonight and she's going with her special boyfriend. You know as the French say her patty de foie gras I Leave it to me. Now. What should we talk about girls? What's the difference what we start with? We always come back to men Personally, I despise them now don't get me wrong men have been very nice to me I don't know where I could have spent my money and had a better time Amber the wave sets kind of running into my ears. Oh, well, don't worry, dearie. I'm not charging you extra I Believe me girls. This is be a better world without men. Oh, Amber. You're just bitter. Look at my owl I don't know any girl who could take the place of him You'll find out differently. Believe me, dearie. When I hear what goes on I don't ever want to get married. You ever been asked? That's beside the point Well, Amber, you never know one day. You've got nothing the next day. You've found one some someone like Al That's really making time stand still Don't mind Jane Amber. She doesn't think much of Al, but I know him better I can count on him in rain sleet slush and snow So why do you need a fella you can get the same results with a four-way cold tablet? No girls, it's not my nature to chase men I got three phones and I send out blotters. I figure that's enough Have you tried skywriting? I hope that's a good one and my hand me the bobby pin. Amber listen, will you please hurry? It's almost 10. I haven't even tried my dress on. Don't worry. Don't worry, dearie. You look gorgeous Say Jane while we're waiting for Al and the hair like a Come in It's me again Janey your hair looks positively beautiful. Thank you. Yes, my girlfriend Amber did it for Professor you've met Amber. Oh, yes Are you doing anything this evening professor? No, well Amber isn't doing anything. Are you Amber? Well, happy new year everybody goodbye I think he likes you Amber because every time he looks at you he closes his eyes Got the lacquer. Oh well Al well you pour a little in a pan. There's one in the kitchen, honey Right chicken See girls, isn't he wonderful? I admit he isn't handsome and he's kind of short and he has no job or any money But I love what's left of him I'd like to see the pot that got away After I ought to be dressed by now coming up. Hey our girls. Oh Jane your hair looks terrific Thanks, that's wait till I get this lacquer on it'll keep in place now Hold still dearie while I pour pour some on I'll loosen the ends just before you're ready to go Oh swell Amber, you know it looks beautiful I'd like to pay you a little extra for coming here and working on new year's eve Oh, I wouldn't take money from any friend of a miss dearie Because if you want to if any girls at the party say it's pretty you can tell them I'm available for appointments. I certainly will yeah, and if any fellow say it's pretty you can tell them I'm available Now be careful dearie don't mess the lacquer putting your dress. No, I won't Amber I won't earn a hammy to dress will you I'll just get back at this screen I want y'all to know how grateful I am for what you've done for fixing my dress Out for getting the lacquer. I'm just the luckiest girl that Irma What's the matter Jane? This dress What did you do? I lowered the hem But Irma white thread on a black dress Well Jane, we don't have any black thread and you're in such a hurry and I figured you could match it by wearing white gloves Oh Oh Irma why didn't you tell me I can't wear this I'll have to wear the white one Do you want me to lower the hem? No, we're all out of black thread Well anyway, thank goodness my hair looks pretty good Amber Amber what's eating you now, dearie? My hair I can't move it It's hard as a rock Ah, that's ridiculous. Let me run a comb throw it. Yeah. Oh mama this one won't budge No. Oh, what did you buy hair lacquer? Are you sure look at the can Jane? I'm an intelligent guy when I go to the store. I Holy mackerel. What's the matter Al? I asked the dame for hair lacquer. She gave me chair lacquer Now what can I do amber? How can you get it off? Dearie? I'm a beautician not a carpenter There's got to be some way to soften it. Oh, I'll go out of my mind if I ever put my head on Richard's shoulder He'd cave in I'll take it easy Jane. We were just trying to help you Trying to help me. Just look at me A black dress with white thread and a head full of broken combs You two say you'll help me. I'm just a dead pigeon. I mean to do single langzine My first new year's party was Richard and I can't go. Oh, Irma Is Jane there? Yeah, there she wants to talk now. She seems a little heavy-hearted in the head Give me the phone Hello, Richard Richard, I don't think I'll be able Jane. I don't know what you're going to say I'm on my way to pick you up and I haven't got the nerve to face you. So I called Jane. I've made a terrible mistake You're not the only one What is it Richard? Well now now please don't be angry. I know this is a fine time to tell you But the party I'm taking you to is a masquerade A masquerade? Now don't be angry Jane. Look, do you think you can get something unusual in a hurry? Unusual come right over Richard even I don't know what I'm supposed to be Oh kids, I'm going I see Jane when Amber and Alan I get together everything turns out right The three of us are a perfect couple on soap in her hand and she kept staring at it and saying My name is swan. My name is swan and she'd listen for a minute and then she'd start all over again My name is swan. My name is swan Well, I had to know so I said why Irma and Irma said well if a parrot can talk I don't see why the swan can't learn too Well Irma even if that cake of swan could talk it would probably tell you what you already know That white floating swan soap gives you a wonderful new kind of beauty lather a new kind of beauty lather That's perfect for your bath. Sure. It's perfect the way swan's new kind of beauty lather cleanses So thoroughly your skin fairly glows and it's perfect too. How gentle swan's new kind of lather is Well, even the most delicate complexions are left soft and smooth Now naturally because swan is mild as fine cast heels and ladies how perfect you feel after a swan bath Radiant relaxed and your skin doesn't have that feeling of over soap dryness No, not a bit because swan's wonderful new kind of beauty lather rinses away so completely So for your bath use swan soap. You'll love swan's wonderful new kind of beauty lather A costume and I went to the masquerade party with richard and I had the new year's eve of all time New year's day. I spent in the tub getting a lacquer out of my hair Now it's just the same as ever. Irma, however, has been pestering me all day with questions about the party Jane, you didn't tell me what you went as Well, how could I tell her that with my head as hard as a rock naturally I went as my friend Irma My friend Irma presented by swan another fine product of lever brothers company was produced and directed by sci-howard Tonight's script was written by sci-howard and park levee frank bingman speaking For a gala new year's cake that'll do you proud rely on spry Sensational spry with cake improver made the spry one ball way your favorite cake is sure to be lighter finer better tasting Certainly because spry is the pure creamy all vegetable shortening with the wonderful cake making secret that ensures luscious cakes Mixed in one third the usual time If you like cake and compliments spry is for you because no other type of shortening has spry's amazing cake improver That's spry spry Tune in again to my friend Irma next monday evening at this same time. This is cbs the columbia broadcasting system